37 weeks

well, tomorrow I will be. That means, Thundercats are GO! ;) It can happen any time now. I've been trying to be a little bit more active, but with more activity, comes more swelling to my right leg. I walked a mile the other day with my girls when the rain stopped. I definitely felt pressure during the walk. I'm also still doing water aerobics. I try to be extra jumpy. ;)

Today we had our appointment with our midwife. She said the baby is low, but still has room to go lower. She did not check my cervix, because as one midwife explained to me, it doesn't really tell you much. You can be 4cm and not go into labor for a while, and you can be 1cm and have the baby that same day. It is essentially, not worth the pain. I am, however, curious to know what my cervix is up to.

My midwife told me today that they usually don't like people with gestational diabetes to go too much past their due date. I knew this already, because usually babies are a bit bigger if their mom had GD. So, that might mean I will be getting induced at the end of this month. If I can't coax him out on my own. ;)

Work.

I'm still going to work. I was thinking of stopping early and making Friday night my last night, but I realized that we need the money, and though I'm hopeful I'll have this baby early, it rarely happens on its own. If I leave early, then I have to go back earlier than I planned. And I might just miss being around this little guy, so I'd like to spend as much time as I can with him. Work, however, is sometimes very rough on me. The last shift I worked wasn't too bad. I was assigned an appropriate assignment: one with very few turns. The shift prior to that I had a dependent turner, which means I have to ask for a lot of help at least every 2 hours. I can barely reach the patient with my big ole belly; besides the fact that it really isn't good for my back to be lifting at this point. I hate asking for a lot of help. If I keep having decent assignments, where I have an appropriate load and don't have to move too fast, I'll be able to go to my planned date of the 19th. I have 8 shifts left, or less if he decides to come early. ;)  I can do it...

I added a couple more things I won't miss to the previous post, check it out.

Ready to go

While I am not too terribly uncomfortable all the time, there are things that I am looking forward to once the babe is born:

1. Normal sized legs. I would love to see my right ankle bones again. I usually get to peek at my left ankle bones. Some days it is so bad I can barely put on my shoes. (I can't fit in my Saritas (similar to a Dansko) unless I only wear the left one...
2. Heartburn that is rare. I'm sometimes concerned if I don't have heartburn at this point. Tums are a lifesaver most of the time. But the other night I ate last at like 1830, went to bed at 2230, and by 2345 I was worshipping the porcelain god.
3. Being able to bend over. At work nowadays if I drop something, I leave it on the ground. Unless it is something gross that I feel guilty for leaving. But I drop about 5 gloves a shift, because you can never take out 2 gloves in a box without others trying to escape. They are clean, so I don't worry my little self over picking them up. A couple people I work with follow me around cleaning my messes. ;) They really do, just a few minutes to hours later. 
4. Being able to sit normal in the car. I have been ridin' like a gangster for a while now, with my seat reclined back. It makes it difficult to check my blind spots, but otherwise I feel like I'm going to wet myself, or I start contracting, or both if I leave the seat in my normal position. 
5.  Some things in the bedroom are a little different right now, if you know what I mean. I'm looking forward to having a bit of my flexibility back again. Enough said.
6. Eating carbs again. I am thankful that I do know how to eat now, and that it will allow me to lose baby weight. However, there are things I miss, like ice cream, and french fries. You don't realize how many things have a high carbohydrate content until you can't eat them.
7. Drinking alcohol. It's not like I drank a lot prior to getting pregnant, but once I found out I was preggo, wine sounded good to me. I have seen several different types that I've wanted to try like Apple Wine, and a couple others that I nearly bought for later. But decided that since I hardly ever drank wine before, it might just sit on the fridge for several years before I break down and try it. I can't wait to be able to go wine tasting in Prosser for my first time. (But next time I'm flying in. ;) Is there even an airport?)
8. *NEW* Kayleen made a good point. I also miss being able to sleep in whatever position I like. Either on my back, or on my stomach. I am finding that in the last couple weeks I can only sleep for so long before my hips are sore and my body is angry. Which means that I can no longer sleep. Previously pregnant women warned me about this, but I didn't believe them since I haven't had any problems with sleep...until now.
9. *NEW* I too, miss having my baby girls in my lap. They make their way up on whatever lap they can find, but it usually ends with them standing or stepping on my growing belly. Which, as you can imagine, does not feel too good. I think Bella is going to miss my belly. She likes to rest her head on it. I've tried getting pictures but they never really turn out right. Picture it in your head, and know that it is cute. ;)
10. *NEW* I will not miss having a melon with arms resting on my bladder. Not only do I think he might take up soccer, but I believe he'd like to be a boxer as well. He enjoys punching at my bladder. On pretty much every ultrasound he has had his head resting on my bladder like a pillow. And ever so often I feel him move and jab at it. Thus far I haven't lost control, but it has been very very close. I will not miss needing to find a bathroom every hour (or less) only to trickle a small amount of pee out. There is definitely a lot of pressure down there.

I'm sure there are many more things I won't miss, and when I begin thinking of baby #2, I'll have to read this post to make sure I really want to go there again. ;)

Where I've been

My dad picked me up on Wednesday, and I had packed things for work the next morning, and clothes for Thanksgiving dinner. I had some food, and things for my lunch the next day. I also brought activities to work on if I got bored. I had pillows and also Bella packed up. He was a little bit skeptical, as I hadn't yet asked him to drive me to work the next day. But he knew something was up as I was bringing a lot of stuff. :)

When we got to my parent's house, I told my mom I hadn't asked my dad to drive me to work in the morning, yet. I told him that it was her idea. They were more concerned about me driving home in the afternoon, as it was unknown how the weather would be later on. (Turned out to be fine.)

My mom and I made the pies. She did most everything, but I did cut and peel most of the apples. And I mixed up the pumpkin filling for the pumpkin pies, as well as mixed up the cherry filling. Shortly after we finished Kristina came over to visit (her parent's live down the street from mine), and we had a good little chat. :D

The next morning, my dad and I went to Starbucks. Skinny Cinnamon Dolce Lattes are my favorite right now. (I'm not a fan of sugar free vanilla or caramel, but Starbucks also carries sugar free cinnamon dolce syrup that is mighty tasty.) And during the drive to work, I got a phone call. I always love these phone calls, as I know what it means. I was offered the day off of work. I actually might not have taken it if I was driving myself, but because my dad would have to pick me up in the afternoon, I decided to take the time off. Taking the time off, also meant that I could go with Jamaal to his family's Thanksgiving dinner as well.

I was able to keep my sugars down during the day. Which was a pleasant surprise. My midwife today told me that many people had bad sugars from last week. So I'm doing well.

My mom and I successfully made a Splenda-blend Cherry pie that tasted much like a full sugar pie. My brother had a piece, I asked him how it tasted, and he said good. I then told him it was made with a Splenda-blend and he quickly said it tasted gross. ;) He couldn't tell. And honestly, I can't tell either. It tastes quite scrumptious. I have one more piece to enjoy. Maybe tonight? We'll see. I always gauge my desserts by how well my after dinner sugars are.

My mom and I kept with our tradition of Black Friday shopping at 4am on Friday. I must be honest, it was much harder on me this year, for obvious reasons. I was pretty grumpy and not as patient as normal. I didn't buy much, just a few movies and socks for Jamaal and I at Fred Meyer. We always end our shopping trip there. I only napped a couple hours before going to work from 1500-2330. So I was pretty tired when I got home that night.

Tonight is my first night back on night shift. I'll be working 4 nights in a row this week, which is going to be rough, since I only worked one evening shift last week. I'm ready for this guy to come, so that I don't have to work anymore. ;)

I'm dreaming...

Of a white Thanksgiving?

They say it is going to warm up, melt the snow and *gasp* rain. But I'm not holding my breath. ;)

On Monday, I had a dentist appointment at 10, but I made it as far as 320th on military, and realized that while I could probably make it to my appointment, I remembered there was a giant hill that I would have to climb. If military wasn't cleared off at all, I didn't believe the hill would be either. I called and rescheduled, then turned around and went home to warmth. At about 1530, I went and napped, to prepare for my shift later that night. By the time I woke up there was a new blanket of about 3 inches. My mom called me mid-nap to tell me it was crazy outside. I was a little bit shocked, because before I went to sleep it wasn't really all that bad out there. A lot had changed during my 2-hour nap. I was supposed to work from 2300-0730, but I don't think I would've been able to make it to work. The freeway was a sheet of ice with many, many cars, slipping and sliding, and abandoned.

I really didn't want to call out, to waste my benefit time, but I value my cars condition, and my life a little too much to try to drive on ice, in the dark.

My MIL decided to stay the night on Monday (so a coworker who lives nearby could drive her to work the next day), so her and I watched the news, had some tea and waited for her son to come home. I cooked dinner (bratwurst), and right after I decided dinner was ready went to the front door to look and see if my husband was home yet. It was late for him. I hadn't called him, because I didn't want to distract him during his drive in these slippery conditions. As I was looking out the door, the power flickered off, back on, then right back off again. I watched the other houses on the block lose power.

Jamaal finally called shortly after we lost power, and hadn't even left work yet. I got after him for not telling me he was staying late, that I had been worried about him. He was upset that we had no power. I'm thankful that my MIL had decided to stay, because I would have been alone, in the dark, for a couple hours. I'm also thankful that dinner was finished right before the power went out.

I have lots of candles, as my sister in law sells Partylite, so I got out several, and lit them around the living room. It smelt pretty yummy. ;) I got out my knitting and knitted a couple rows by candle light.

Jamaal made it home safe and sound, but said it was really scary out there.

Tuesday afternoon was my next midwife appointment. My dad stayed home from work so that he could drive me to it in his big truck. It was really quite nice of him. The roads were all pretty much dry and bare. There were some bad spots, but for the most part it was an easy drive. It was a nice trip with my father. And the appointment went really fast. The midwife came in early on to talk to me, said everything looked good. And said once I had been on the monitor for 20 minutes, I could go.

Since I had to cook dinner for my MIL and my husband, I felt a little bit of extra pressure, and didn't prepare well before leaving for the appointment. So, my dad took me to the grocery store before taking me home.

My dad is going to pick me up after he gets off work today, and take me to my parent's house so that I can help my mom with making pies. I'm going to try to make one for me with Splenda blends instead of sugar.

My mom wants my dad to take me to work tomorrow morning, because there are some rough spots out there still, that won't be melted until the afternoon. I'll talk to him about it to see what he thinks. BUT if he does take me to work, then I will spend the night at their house to make it easier for him.

Carrying a baby makes people treat you like one. ;) But I don't mind.

Last night I had pie

and my sugars were in control!

Friday night, I fell asleep on the couch, as per my usual routine. I eat dinner, set my alarm on my phone for an hour later, so I can check my sugar, and try to stay awake. I usually play games on my phone while kind of "watching" my husband play video games, until eventually my eyelids are so heavy, I don't even fight them anymore.

When Jamaal is ready for bed, he wakes me up and into bed I go. I try again to stay awake for a minute or two, but usually am out shortly after my head hits the pillow.

Friday night I was so out of it, after getting woken up, I went straight to bed. I didn't take my medicine. (I guess I haven't mentioned that at the appointment where I was sent to the hospital, I was started on Metformin at bedtime, to help keep my waking blood sugars down. It has helped a lot to keep my sugars down through the day as well.)

My Saturday morning sugar was a little on the high side, without being high. I know it is because I missed my bedtime dose. Since I was planning on going to the Sew, quilt and craft show, and I didn't know what sort of foods would be readily available to me, I decided to take my missed dose in the morning. My sugars were perfect all day. I had a Grande, Skinny, Cinnamon Dolce Latte from Starbucks, a mini pot pie from Marie Callendar's, and a slice of Custard Pie for dessert. Those were all of my splurges, but of course I had snacks in between.

At Fred Meyer on Friday, I found these bars:


The wonderful thing about them, is they have very little sugar, and low carbohydrate for a "granola" bar. They have lots of protein as well. Mostly because they are made with nuts, but they also add a soy protein. The South Beach granola bars I've been eating have 17g carb and like 6g protein, where as this particular flavor has 11g carb and 10g protein.

Taste wise, I'd go for the South Beach ones before the KIND bars, but they might grow on me. I've only had one flavor so far, and maybe some are better than others.

They are also sold at Starbucks if you're interested in trying one out. ;)

I'm nervous for Thanksgiving, but am getting more and more confident in my ability to figure out how much to eat at once. I also plan on taking a Metformin in the morning and at night to help keep my sugars down. I think that helped me a lot yesterday. I'll run it past my midwife, but even if they say I don't need to, I think I'll still do it.

Nurses make the worst patients. ;)

As promised

Yesterday was our appointment with our midwife. It went well.

We started with the NST. This time they gave me a button to push when he moved. (I was disappointed, because after working all night, and napping for only 45 minutes before, I was ready to sleep through the NST. But instead I had to stay awake and push the button when he moved.)

For a pretty long time, he was sleeping, and not moving hardly at all. But eventually he woke up and was the crazy active guy that he was last time. I watched the strip carefully. Just as before, there were no "contractions" at the beginning, but about halfway in, there were a ton. Some I felt, others I didn't. I was beginning to panic. I knew, that they wouldn't give me medication to stop them, but I was nervous that I would have to be on bed rest.

When they finally took me off the monitor, they brought us into an exam room to wait for Angie (my midwife) to come talk to us. She looked at the strip, noted that he wasn't very active for the first half, but woke up about half-way through. She said his heart rate looked great, and he appeared healthy, and then folded it up and set it aside.

I was dumbfounded. She started to move on to the next topic, but I said "You aren't mad about the contractions?" She simply said "No, they appear to be uterine irritability, and not true contractions."

But they sent me to the hospital last week...and made me stay off my feet....and made me miss work...

She didn't really have an explanation or excuse for last week, but told me I could keep up with water aerobics and didn't have to be on pelvic rest. She told me that if I have 4 full belly, painful contractions in an hour, that I needed to come in, but until then, I'm just fine.

I'm a little bit upset with the last midwife. I got kind of used to the idea of having an early baby. Now I'm sure I'll either have him on Christmas day or after the New Year, because those are the two times I'd prefer to not have him. I'm also not looking forward to the bill. (Of course I know how fortunate I am to have insurance, but I have a $200 deductible per day for every day I'm in the hospital. I don't know if an hour long visit counts, but I'm sure it does...knowing my luck.)

Tomorrow I'm going to the Holiday Craft fair at the Puyallup fairgrounds with my mom and aunt. It will be a fun filled day, with lots of walking. And a wonderful Skinny Cinnamon Dolce Latte to start off the day. :D

Tomorrow

Tomorrow is my next midwife appointment. I'm kind of looking forward to it, because I really want to know if these contractions are real or braxton hicks. I have tried to check my own cervix, but can't get up there far enough to feel. I don't know how my maternity instructor in school was able to check hers, she must have longer fingers. ;) Sorry if that grosses you out, but it is my cervix, and I am allowed to try to touch it if I want.

I'm really quite upset that they didn't check me last week. Oh well, I will request that they do so this week. I won't forget about it until I'm driving home thinking to myself...I wonder if I'm dilating at all.

Tonight I was supposed to work for 12-hours, but I woke up with an awful back ache, and I know that if I am sore now, it'll only be worse after working for 12-hours. At this point I'll still go in for the last 8-hours, but if I'm still sore, or contracting some more, I'll stay home. I just hate using up my benefit hours now and not for my maternity leave.

I have felt a few contractions, but they aren't painful, just uncomfortable. I've also had some "menstrual cramping," which I've read if you have that more than 4 times an hour you should call your provider. I've not had it that frequently, but it has woken me up during the day yesterday and today while I slept.

Speaking of sleep, I'm having a hard time sleeping lately. I wake up feeling beat up and hung over. I have to turn from side to side every hour or two, and usually have to pee every two hours anyway. Naps are my friend.

I'm hoping that my midwife will clear me to go to water aerobics tomorrow night, because that makes me feel so good afterwards. I didn't go earlier this week, only because they wanted me off my feet for the weekend. It technically isn't the weekend anymore, but, well, if my cervix is ripening water aerobics would only make it worse.

I can't wait until tomorrow morning!

If it's not one thing...

it's another.

Yesterday was my first fetal NST, and it went well...until the end. They left me on the monitor for a little longer than I needed to be, while I waited for a midwife to come and look at my strip. The strip shows the baby's heart rate and also shows uterine contractions. The baby's heart rate looked great. He's doing exactly what he should be doing. He looks healthy. But as I said, they left me on for a little longer than necessary, and near the end, I was showing little contractions. I didn't notice. It just feels like he's moving around in there to me.

The midwife was uncomfortable with just sending me back home, because I was contracting quite a bit for the last 10 minutes. At least, that is what they tell me. So, she wanted me to go across the street to the ER and get admitted to the antepartum unit for some more monitoring.

After some really slow lady discharged me from the ER to be admitted to the OB floor, I waited in a wheelchair for another pregnant lady who might have had her baby by now, to get checked in. She walked, and I rode. I felt guilty, but she was allowed to have her baby, and it was a long walk.

I was admitted to a really gorgeous, big room. It had a big tub in the middle of the room, and gorgeous views. I'm glad I liked it, because it's kind of late to change my mind now. ;)

My nurse was amazing. She had read my chart thoroughly, and knew a little more than I did about my pregnancy. She read in the note that I had an extra lobe on my placenta, which really doesn't mean anything, except that during the delivery, whoever delivers the placenta needs to look for that extra lobe. I'll try to remember to make sure they look for it. But I might be a bit distracted. ;)

Anyway, she put me on the monitor again, and like before, everything looked really good for the first 10 minutes. She told me, "if things keep looking like this you'll be out of here soon." And then about 5 minutes later she came back in and said, "the problem is that you're too skinny." Never in my life has anyone said that to me. But what she meant was, that my uterus is right at the surface of my belly. All of the fat that I used to have on my stomach moved back to my hips. I started contracting again. She said that it looked like little irritations on the strip. But again, I wasn't feeling them. The only way I felt them was if I pressed on my belly.

The midwife on call basically said that since I wasn't feeling them, they were small, and the treatment for preterm contractions would skyrocket my blood sugars, I could go home, if I rested over the weekend. "Stay off your feet" to be exact. It is really easy for me to be lazy, when I don't have to. But now I really want to do things, like buy fabric for the quilt that seems will never be done, laundry, and clean up the kitchen.

The good news is, that after next week, I'll be 34 weeks, and they don't do anything to stop contractions at 34 weeks. Of course, ideally he won't make his debut until 37 weeks. Oh how great it would be if I could have a slice of pie after Christmas dinner...I'm sure someone I know would like to share a birthday with this little guy...(I'll be 37 weeks on Dec. 10). The 7th is close enough, right Sarah?!

Some hard stuff

It has been quite some time since I last posted. I have a hard time posting when I'm upset about things.

Since the last time I posted, I am completely sickness free, and have been for quite some time. Every day after I posted was better than the one before, until I was no longer sniffly. Poor Jamaal got a taste of it too, though his did not last nearly as long as mine did.

I had a wonderful Baby shower with my friends and my side of the family. (Since Jamaal has soooo many Aunts and girl cousins, we will have a separate party for them.) Only my MIL and Jamaal's Grandma came to this party, and my mom will go to the next one.

We had a total of 8 trick or treaters come to our house this year...plus my 3 nephews. Jamaal bought several bags of candy, and I was giving out very large handfuls, and we still have way too much leftover. It calls to me.

Most of the candy he bought isn't really stuff I like anyway so I've been abstaining pretty well. But there are times when I falter.

If you remember last time I posted that I was waiting the results of my 1-hour glucose test, I found out the next day that I had failed it and needed to do the 3-hour test. The 3-hour test happened on that Saturday, where I was poked a total of 4 times for blood draws, and felt like I was going to puke for most of the 3-hours I spent at the lab.

Then on Monday, I found out I had failed that test too, and had gestational diabetes. I have to test my blood sugar 4 times a day and count carbohydrates in my diet. For the most part my sugars have been very well managed just with controlling my diet. I saw a mid-wife (a different one than the one I meet with normally) a week after getting my glucometer (the device used to check my blood sugar) and she basically told me I was doing too good of a job controlling my sugars. And I broke down crying. She was shocked because she was telling me that I was doing good, but needed to just back down a little bit. I still cry about it if I let myself think about it too much. She told me to eat more. Though now I am having a harder time because my sugars are sometimes higher than the limits she gave me.

I'm constantly frustrated and paranoid about my food now. It is so stressful to think about what will happen an hour after I eat. I find myself crossing my fingers hoping for a good blood sugar. I no longer enjoy eating. It is a task I must perform, and it wears me out. In part, I know that this is good for us. I didn't have the best eating habits prior to this. If I was hungry before I would eat whatever I wanted. I made good choices and bad ones. French fries and ice cream always sound good to me, especially after becoming pregnant.

I always bought fruits and vegetables, but often would throw them out because I would find something tastier to eat. And, besides yogurt on occasion, dairy wasn't really a staple in my diet. Except for cheese of course.

The problem is with my placenta. It creates hormones that make my body have a hard time absorbing sugar. Once the placenta is gone, I won't be diabetic anymore. However, I am at risk of becoming type 2 diabetic later on in life, and any later pregnancies I will most likely have gestational diabetes again. I already knew I was at risk of becoming a type 2 diabetic, as I have it in my family history. But after watching my sugars and seeing how certain foods affect me, I'm really not looking forward to growing older. I like rice, bread, pasta and potatoes, but my sugars suck afterwards.

I started writing this on the 2nd, and now it is the 9th. Since then, I met with my midwife and reviewed my food log and sugar record. I was getting very frustrated, because I was eating more, but my sugars were awful. She pointed out that I needed more protein in my diet, I was so focused on the carbohydrates that I was forgetting about protein. I feel a little bit better now, but I'm not looking forward to reviewing my food log and sugar record with my midwife again. It causes me such stress. I feel like I'll get a bad grade or a slap on the wrist. And I'm even more afraid that I'll burst out in tears again.

Because of all of this, I have to go in to see my midwife weekly from now on. We will have to have Fetal NSTs weekly. Go here for a short summary of what the test measures. This makes me even more stressed out. It is a pretty long drive to Tacoma, and they tell me that this test could take as long as an hour. Then I meet with her after to discuss the results. This Friday is my first one, and I'll have to go to the appointment alone. I'm not looking forward to it. Mostly because I have to work the night before and that night, so I'll be a little sleep deprived for the driving. But also because I'm an emotional wreck and it is easier for me to keep composed if I have someone with me.

Today I got a phone call from "Unknown." I've received enough phone calls from the clinic to know that they always show up as "unknown." Lately, the phone calls have all been upsetting news, so I found myself on the defensive from the start. It was my midwife's nurse. She said I had to have another ultrasound. I immediately retorted "why? I just had one." I had interrupted her though, so she was just calling to add it to one of my appointments later on in the month, it would be before my other appointment, so that was why she was calling. I was kind of snippity with her, but after getting bad or upsetting phone calls, I can't help but think the worst.

Besides having some mild leg swelling after working, some lower back pain (especially after working), some leg cramps that wake me up, and some heartburn attacks everything else is going okay. Watching my belly jolt from side to side, and feeling jabs here and there make me smile.

But I'd be lying if I said I wasn't counting down the days until the end of this pregnancy.

Midwife Appointment

I had another appointment with my midwife today. I also had my 1-hour glucose tolerance test, and hopefully I passed it. Last appointment (not this one) I was spilling a little bit of sugar in my urine. Which is usually a sign of gestational diabetes. However, I had only eaten a (rather large) bowl of...Fruit Loops...for breakfast that day, right before the appointment. Oops. ;) They didn't say I was spilling sugar in my pee today though, so I'm guessing it was the Fruit Loops fault last time.

I got my Flu shot today. And my midwife said if I don't start to feel better soon, to call her so she can get me something to take to make me get better faster. I'm guessing an antibiotic, but not sure. I do feel like I'm getting better though every day. I am exhausted right now, though because I slept for maybe 5 hours thus far. I'm going to go lay down for a bit after I'm done with this post.

My midwife said that I'm measuring small for what she would expect at this stage, so she wants to get another ultrasound in 3 weeks just to make sure he's growing okay. She thinks it is probably related to his positioning, but doesn't want to take a chance. It's funny, because I feel huge. ;)

Today, my mom went with me to the appointment because Jamaal couldn't get the day off of work. I asked her today to be in the room during the birth. She agreed to, but said if she gets queasy she will leave. I told her that she probably won't because it is so much different than just seeing a bloody mess, plus she doesn't have to look if she doesn't want to.

After the appointment we went to Target to finish up my registry. I registered at Baby's R Us already, which has so much more than Target does, but Target is a bit cheaper for some things, so I doubled up to give people options. It was a much quicker trip than the one we took to BRU...which ended up being over 2.5 hours.

Last night at work I was seeing if I could hear his heart beating with my stethoscope. I was pressing kind of hard on my belly, and he would punch or kick the spot that I was pressing on, as if to say "Leave me alone!" He is already feisty and hasn't even been born yet. He must take after his father... ;)

More Dreams

I had a couple memorable dreams last night. First of all, my middle nephew who is now 10(!) was driving a minivan full of people. I was nearest to the front of the van, and panicking. Everyone else was telling me to relax. The issue I had was he had really stubby legs (in my dream) that didn't reach past the seat. (In reality he is nearly as tall as I am). I was freaking out that he needed to have his feet near the pedals just in case we needed to stop suddenly....or at all. For those of you who have lived nearby, he was driving us onto North I-5 from 320th, taking the really big curve of an on-ramp. We nearly hit one of the pillars as we came out of the turn. I don't know if that is when I woke up or if the dream just stopped there...or maybe I don't remember what happened next. But oh my goodness was it scary. Especially imagining him in that sort of capacity...

The other dream I had started out as the State had no teachers to teach in our schools. So, they did a raffle and my name got picked. Since I was also a State worker, I had to do as I was asked. I wasn't going to lose my salary, and since I was pregnant in my dream as well, I decided I could do a semester of teaching. I would stop at winter break and stay home until expected to go back to the hospital. I was okay with it at first, and then I began thinking about what I would teach, and how I had no idea what I was doing. Then I was really stressed out. I found out that I was to teach Kindergarten. I got a few classes during the first week of school to learn how to teach, and then was expected to do it on my own. I planned to call up Jess to see if she would lend me anything she had from her Kindergarten experience last year...I never got that far. I hope that she would help me out. Could you imagine teaching with absolutely no training at all?? Haha...it was then that I looked through a brochure of schools and decided that my children would go to private schools since the State was using anyone they could get their hands on. ;)

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I still have a sore throat, but at the moment my nose is pretty clear. I usually get worse as the day goes on, but I think I'll try and do water aerobics tonight. Then I'll go to work. I'll still be wearing a mask at work, but I don't feel too horrible right now. Hopefully I'm on the mend. :D

A Rambling Mess

 This belly shot was taken at 23 weeks and 3 days.

 This was taken at 27 weeks.

This was also taken at 27 weeks.

Last Thursday I went to water aerobics, and near the end of the workout I started having chest pain. It was right at my sternum and went under my rib cage, mostly to the left. It hurt more if I pressed just under my rib cage medially. I figured it was related to heartburn. But it wasn't going away. I started to worry, so I called out sick for the night. It hurt really bad if I moved my arms across my chest. So I figured I should take it easy. Around 0500, I woke up to hives on my forearms that were really itchy, so I got up to take a half of a benedryl. When I woke up in the morning my chest still hurt so I decided to call the doctor. But by the time I went to my appointment, the pain was gone, and most of my hives were gone. I was sure that the hives were caused by my heartburn medicine. Basically my doctor gave me a list of foods to avoid, and a warning that it was just going to get worse. I was coming down with a cough by this point, which I figured was just because of the heartburn. My doctor agreed with me. 

I went to work that night. I wore a mask for most of the night, especially when in patient's rooms, because my voice sounded hoarse and that makes people uncomfortable. The longer I was at work, the more I felt sick, as opposed to someone suffering from severe heartburn. My sneezes had more substance to them. And at one point I coughed up a loogie. I went to bed right when I got home, and I think my mom called to talk to me. I sounded like crap. I knew then that I was sick, not having heartburn complications. Stupid flu. Our thermometer is still packed somewhere, and so when I talked with my mom (who was planning on coming over to drop off something for me to try) I asked her to also bring her thermometer for me to use. My temperature got as high as 100.5, so not too bad. I've been taking sudafed, benedryl, and Tylenol here and there. I'm beginning to feel better now. I'm undecided as to whether I'm ready to go back to work tonight or not. Fortunately I only have three 8-hour shifts this week. I'll see how I'm feeling later on tonight. I am technically still "contagious" but with a mask on an good hand washing I should be okay for work. I am just still very tired and feel a bit cloudy in the head. I have never coughed up so much gunk in my life. (Which is actually good, because I'd rather have it out of my lungs. But usually I don't start coughing stuff up until I start to feel a little bit better.) 

The little mister has been beating me up with just as much oomph as before I got sick. Sometimes I even exclaim "Oh my!" after an extra strong kick. It is going to be strange to have my belly back to myself. I'm going to feel very empty I think.

Jamaal scared me on Saturday night. He went out with his friends to a bar not too far from our house. He had planned on getting a ride home with his friend's sister (who works as a bartender there, and would therefore be the sober one). But I get a message from him, "can you come get me." Just after midnight. I ask him where he is, and when he wants me to come: at the bar, now.

I jump in the car in my pajamas. They aren't even cute pajamas. It is a pink dress type that goes to my knees. But remember I'm sick, and don't care. I get there in a few minutes, and text him that I've arrived. No response. So, I text him again. Nothing. I try his friend: "I'm here."

He responds "Oh good, Jamaal needs a ride." Yes. I know that, that's why I am here. I should have known at this point that he was going to be little help to me. Can you please send my husband out here. "I don't know where he is." At this point I'm a little worried. It has been 30 minutes of me waiting outside in the car. I decide to face the public. I don't know these people anyway. I throw my coat on over my beautiful pajamas and go inside. They tell me no one is allowed in anymore.

ing car. In the story he tells, he hears some people he has to walk by laugh at him, and he wants to punch them. With how slow he was responding to me, I can't believe he even considered it.

I have been looking everywhere for you. Why didn't you answer your phone? It died. (I figured it probably had.) Where were you? In the bathroom. I had a security guard go in there and look for you.

And then I lose it. I cry it out for a minute, collect myself so I can get us home, and pull out of the parking lot. He apologizes a couple times, but once I start driving he hangs his head down, in the most uncomfortable looking position ever, and stays like that for most of the drive.

When we get home, we find that a dog has puked on the kitchen floor. Jamaal, obviously feeling guilty, pushes me away so that he can clean it up. I let him, because it is difficult these days for me to reach the floor comfortably. I tell him he's not allowed to go out without his phone fully charged, and cry a little more in his arms. He makes his way back to the bathroom, and I give him a couple blankets and a pillow and he spends several hours asleep on the bathroom floor. I already intended on sleeping in the living room, since I didn't want to get him sick, and because I was having a hard time sleeping for longer than 2 hours.

The two of us spent Sunday laying around watching TV and napping. We didn't wake up until almost 1300 (1pm).

Anyway, I haven't done much the past couple days. A lot of laying around. Napping frequently. Eating popcicles and drinking ice water and apple juice. I'm staying hydrated.

"I have no graham crackers."

Two posts in one day? Guess I need to make up for lost time.

As a nurse, I find myself surprised by people on a daily basis. It is not always a patient of mine, but hearing stories from other nurses around me, there is something going on during every shift. There are no uneventful days at work.

Sometimes it is the patient, sometimes the patient's family, and of course there is always the mixture of both. The crazy in people really shows up during times of stress, and every person admitted to our unit is stressed.

On one particular night, I was blessed with a patient who has had the unfortunate history of becoming a perpetual patient. I mean that she is almost always sick in some way that ends her up in the hospital or clinic. I do not mean to downplay her illness, per say, but she has become her illness. I think she has been ill for so long that she has no identity of herself without being sick.

I'm actually not entirely sure why she was admitted to the hospital. I didn't do anything she couldn't have done herself at home. She liked to be sedated with pain medications, antiemetics, benzos and benedryl. And since, as I've said before, she is a perpetual patient, she knows a lot about what she should say when she wants something. She said all the right things that would imply that she was getting a kidney infection: it was very hard for her to pee, and she was getting flank/back pain right where her kidneys were. I didn't feel that she was exactly telling the truth, but it is not my call. So I phoned the MD who was on call. He came to see her and felt the same way as I did. He pressed on her abdomen and she screamed out in agony. He listened with his stethoscope and pressed in as hard as he had with his hands and she had no response; no grimace, no whine, nothing. Just a little background on this lady.

At one point she stated that we were not adequately controlling her blood sugars. She demanded I check to see what her blood sugar was. I forget the number exactly, but it was in the normal range in the 110's. I wanted to laugh in her face. She then proceeded to request the fruit plate with cottage cheese she had saved from earlier, and later 2 vanilla puddings.

I can't really put into words how much she drove me crazy. Except to say that near the end of the night, as I was finishing up giving her some medications she said to me: "I have no graham crackers." I stared at her for a second, then replied: "What does that mean?"

I knew exactly what it meant. She had no graham crackers, and wanted some. I wasn't going to take that as a request for graham crackers. I already felt that she was milking the system.

She went on to say that she likes to have graham crackers nearby at all times. This was news to me, it never came up before, and I had her for a 12-hour shift. I think it was about 0500 by this time, so our time together was nearly finished. I was already irritated with her, so I reacted with a little attitude. But I felt it was warranted.

She never did request the crackers. I said "Would you like some graham crackers?" Yes. She would. And also a couple egg custards. (Remember those vanilla puddings she requested earlier? She asked for egg custards then too, only for us to tell her we don't carry them on the floor.) I sent the assistant working with me to deliver a stack of graham crackers and two more vanilla puddings. That was the last time I saw her, except to do the change of shift "bedside" report. (I quoted bedside, only because the pt was up walking around the unit, so we did the check in the hallway.) Later that day, the patient was discharged to home. I talked with the nurse who had her during the day, and she had roughly the same experience that I had. The pt spouted off some other symptoms, the MDs obliged and did tests on her to check on her "symptoms" only to find nothing wrong. It was a difficult discharge. But she will be back.

I'm still here, I swear.

Okay. Okay. I owe some people a belly photo. I keep forgetting to have my husband snap one of me. Tonight, when he gets home from work I'll try to remember. Although this might be tricky because I have signed up for some extra shifts at work. I was given 8 nights off of work (with a day class on Monday) in a row, something I didn't ask for. So I decided to fill it in a bit with some extra shifts. I only signed up for 4-hour shifts. However, they did not put me on the schedule, so I don't know yet if I'll be going in or not. I'll call them after 1400 to check in.

I can't believe it's been over 2 weeks since I last posted. I guess I just have not been inspired. Maybe? I'm not sure.

Yesterday we had our follow up ultrasound. He is weighing in at about 2lbs 4 ounces right now. I have a feeling he is going to be a big boy. His heart rate was nice and strong at 146 beats per minute. And, the placenta is no longer low lying. :D That makes for a very happy mom and dad. I really was worried about it being low lying for other reasons too. I do not want to have a c-section. I've seen it happen, and it is not for me. Of course if I have to, I will, but as of right now, I do not have to have a c-section. As of right now, his head is down, but he still has a lot of room to flip around.

Last night we met with Jamaal's cousin, and dad to see The Karate Kid at the discount theater by our house. Only $2 per ticket is such a great deal. I imagine that when our little one is old enough to go to movies, we will choose this theater over full price since children can be very unpredictable about how they are going to behave. :D Also, people don't get as angry if you talk or make noise in this theater since it is so cheap.

I really liked the movie. Little Jayden Smith looks sooooo much like his daddy it is ridiculous. He is a good actor too. This was the first Karate Kid movie that I have ever seen. Jamaal was slightly disappointed in me. So, as we were going to bed, he picked the original The Karate Kid to stream instantly from Netflix. I fell asleep before the end, so I'll have to watch it again, but I liked the new version better (from what I've seen so far.)

I have a couple projects that I need to really get started working on, which means I need to make a trip to JoAnn's for a couple things. Maybe I'll post pictures of my progress. We'll see.

Lessons on life

Things I've learned recently:

1. Underwire bras are not comfortable when your belly protrudes farther than your breasts...maybe I should be more specific and say your pregnant belly. I have always been a fan of underwire, mostly for the push-up effect. In the past, I found that non-underwire bras had less padding, and therefore did not hide the fact that where peaches should be, I had apricots. My girlfriends in college called it "false advertising." They joked that I couldn't feel it if they poked me in my boob. (And because of all the padding, most of the time I couldn't.) After realizing that underwire would not cut it for me anymore, I went in search of a new, more comfortable bra. Looking through the racks, I found that there are more bras nowadays that are wirefree and have some padding. I, however, need less than I did before. But it is nice to know that it's out there. Wire-free bras have come a long way.

2. The pregnant belly gets a lot of attention, mostly people ask: "how are you feeling?" I wouldn't mind so much, if I wasn't asked by every single person I work with, my patients and their families. Most of the time people expect a complaint or negative feeling. The only one I can offer is that I have some terrible heartburn. Most of the time they seem disappointed.

3. In a few months I am going to miss getting poked and prodded off and on during the day (and night). I've come to realize that I enjoy the moments when I can feel him kicking and moving around. It is going to be strange having my body to myself again. Well, I'll kind of have my body to myself.

4. Do not leave butter on the counter and then leave your dogs locked in the kitchen. Especially with a dog like Bacardi, who can apparently reach the counter top to get the butter down.

5. The Bissell SpotBot Carpet cleaner, which I received from my mom for Christmas last year, was one of the best gifts I could have ever received. Did you know that if a dog eats about a half a stick of butter they then will have diarrhea all over your carpet? Don't worry if you have a SpotBot. It sucked a lot to pre-clean, because the smell about made me puke, but you can't tell at all that there used to be diarrhea on my carpet. (Side note: After I complained about the smell, Jamaal said "You know what's in diapers right?" Of course I do. But my sense of smell is heightened, and newborns don't eat what Bella ate.

Controversy

I swear I've written about this before, but I can't seem to find it...

What I am about to talk about is a very controversial topic related to having boys.

Circumcision, to do it or not to do it?

I know, without a doubt in my mind what I will do. (And Jamaal agrees).

In nursing school, our maternity instructor was very anti-circumcision. Circumcision, outside of religious beliefs, was promoted as a way to prevent infections later on in life. The foreskin must be pulled back and then cleaned to prevent infections and a lot of families were uncomfortable teaching this to their children. Our instructor pleaded with us not to do it simply for hygienic reasons.

I have a very un-scientific opinion on this topic. Judge me if you want. But uncircumcised penises look disgusting. Circumcised penises look cleaner and are more attractive, well as attractive as a penis can be. ;)

Okay so Jamaal and I have different reasons, but both end up at the same place: our son will be circumcised. 

A few blurbs.

I've been pretty quiet on here lately. I've thought about posting, but then don't really have too much to post about. I've been doing a lot, and yet not much at all. So here are a few little blurbs.

Baby.
He has been kicking like crazy. I've seen it on the outside now, but only if I put a little pressure on my belly somewhere. He's still small enough that my fat and organs soften his blows. He will usually kick several times in a row about 45 seconds apart, and then be still for a couple hours. He probably isn't still, from what we saw on the ultrasound, but is gentle enough that I can't feel him as easily. People can definitely tell now that I'm pregnant. (Though in scrubs, sometimes my patients don't notice.)

Names.
Jamaal and I have started talking about names. I think we are going to have a hard time. I'm not definitely in love with any one name. There are a few I like. One, of which, I took from Jamaal's list. I had him make a list of names up to see what he would come up with. There wasn't a lot there, and several I didn't particularly care for. I haven't yet shown him my list. I have a feeling that I'm not going to want to tell anyone until the baby is born, and the papers are signed, for several reasons.
1. I don't want judgment to sway our decision. One might love or hate our name and I don't want to second guess the name we pick because of someone else's opinion. I can say that I don't care about others' opinions, but with several weeks ahead of me, that is a lot of time to dwell on conversations I might have.
2. I reserve the right to change my mind when I see my baby's face. If he takes on his Irish and Danish heritage over his African heritage I don't want him to be stuck with a name like Deshawn. ;) But also, he might look like a Peter over a Philip when I meet him.

Work.
My nurse manager (the "boss" on our unit) posted some new job openings for different shifts. The most relevant opening is a day position. I currently have a day/night rotation. I have liked it better than working the evening/night rotation that I was hired on with. (I only actually worked that shift for a couple months before a day/night rotation opened up and I took it immediately.) Night shift, I believe, is a good option for me while pregnant. I am hoping I'll be able to work for longer while on night shift when I get to the last couple months. There is simply a little less action at night, and I'm able to sit down and put my feet up. Day shift I am moving all the time. However, after the baby is here, I would like to try a few different career changes. If I can find an opportunity, I would like to get a second part-time job closer to home. I would love it if I could find one where the little gummy bear could come with me. I've looked into child care facilities, but I don't know if they would hire an RN or not. I'll get more serious about it closer to my due date. If I did find a second job, I would decrease my hours at my current job. Because the benefits are hard to beat, I'll go down to 50% (20 hours a week) so I can keep my insurance, etc. The other job, hopefully will just be 2 shifts a week or less. As you can imagine, it would be difficult to coordinate two different jobs if I am rotating between days and nights. There is a straight night opening, but as I sometimes have a hard time staying awake driving home now, when I am able to sleep as much as I desire, I don't feel it is safe for me to be driving home sleep deprived after baby enters the world.

Water Aerobics.
I am so glad I started and have stuck with water aerobics. It feels so good to be in the water workin' my butt off. :D I have to alter a few of the exercises now, because my belly makes it hard for me to bring my knees up as high as I used to, but for the most part I don't feel I'm doing things much differently...yet. I keep up with my sister-in-law still, so that is a win for me. I have had to cut back just a little to keep my heart rate below 160 (which was my mid-wives' recommendation), but I still get a good work out.

Cooking.
Yesterday I decided to make the Cook's Illustrated recipe: "The Perfect Chocolate Chip Cookie." I'm not sure the prep work is worth it though. You have to brown the butter. Not much scares me when it comes to baking, pie crusts, bring them on, cheesecake, no problem. But browning butter, I'm shaking in my boots. I'm pretty sure I nearly burnt this butter, but fortunately I didn't. That would have been a lot of butter to waste (because if I was going to take my time to brown butter, I wasn't going to waste it by making a single batch.) Plus, the recipe said it only made 16 cookies. Jamaal loves cookies. He will sit and eat nearly a dozen by himself (and I think he doesn't finish the dozen off only to save a couple for me). If this recipe truly makes the Perfect cookie, I thought, then Jamaal will have a hard time saving those last few for me. Turns out, I think they made 16 giant cookies with the recipe. I would guess a single batch would make 2.5 dozen, and the double batch I made will probably make close to 5. At least I know I'll get a couple for myself. ;) I made the dough yesterday prior to taking my parents out to see Inception. Since I was curious what they would taste like, I baked 6 cookies, and brought one for each of us on the car ride to the theater. They were hot out of the oven. The only thing I regret is not grabbing my nearly empty jug of milk to take a swig out of when I finished my cookie. The jury is still out as to whether or not this recipe makes the perfect cookie. It was good, but I don't know that it was worth browning the butter (and therefore nearly peeing my pants) over.  

Pelvic Rest.
Sucks. Big time.

Updates

On Thursday, my mom, Jamaal and I went to my 20 week ultrasound. I was nervous/excited getting ready for our appointment.

The ultrasound tech had to get measurements done before checking for gender. And, because the baby kept moving around, it took her about 45 minutes just to measure everything.

I was watching closely for malformations, but found none. From my perspective there appears to be no cleft lip or palate. I saw four chambers of a heart, beating regularly. There was no sign of gastroschisis. (The baby's guts were all inside the abdomen.) (BTW, the tech was a little shocked when, after she noted the stomach inside the abdomen, I said, "oh good, it doesn't have gastroschisis." She thought maybe a friend of mine had a baby with it recently. She told me to go home and read nothing medical. I told her I was a nurse, and it was too late for me.)

Then she said "You guys have a very wiggly little boy."  We then watched as he would not hold his legs still. Kick. Kick. Kick. She had a very hard time measuring his legs since he would not hold still. She said that he was going to be a little soccer player. It is amazing to me, that I can hardly feel him in there and yet he was kicking around so much. On the monitor, he looked like a full term newborn, when really he only weighs about 12 ounces right now.

---               ---            ---

A doctor reviewed my ultrasound and discussed the results with my midwife. And on Monday I got a phone call from Angie (my midwife). The placenta is very close to my cervix. It is not a placenta previa, at this time. But it is very close to being over my cervix nonetheless. Because there is a risk of bleeding, and a risk of the placenta growing over the cervix more, she put me on pelvic rest.

I texted my mom and sister-in-law this yesterday (that the placenta was close to the cervix, and I was on pelvic rest) My sister-in-law asked if that meant I couldn't go to water aerobics. I responded: "I can. I don't orgasm at water aerobics, maybe you do. ;)" My mom called me shortly after to ask the same question. Since they both responded similarly it occurred to me that "pelvic rest" is not something that all people know what it means. Pelvic rest ultimately means that I cannot have intercourse, and can also not have an orgasm.

8 weeks of no sex or orgasm. It is going to be a rough 8 weeks. Not going to lie, I've cried about it. After 8 weeks, we will have a follow up ultrasound that will check where the placenta is. Angie told me that most of the time the placenta moves up on its own as the uterus grows.

Last night the little gummy bear was kicking like crazy. It felt as though he was flipping feet over head, and kicking the whole way. He was still doing it when we went to bed, so I had Jamaal feel, and he was able to feel him kick. I swear you can probably see it happen on the outside as well. He's got some powerful kicks for such a little man.

19 weeks and counting

My patients are beginning to ask me if I'm pregnant now. Prior to this last week and a half, I've been the one to spill the beans. After which, my patients usually sigh and say "I was wondering if you were." I suppose it just depends on what I am wearing. Some of my scrubs still sort of hide my belly, or make it look like I'm round all around and not just with a baby bump. I have actually had to retire a lot of my scrubs, because while I can still get them on, I cannot get my hands into my front pockets. (which is the whole point of wearing them in the first place. I need a place to hold all my pens and notes and supplies.) I'm going to invest in a couple more scrub jackets, which I'll be able to wear after the baby is born. But with my BeBand, I can wear the scrub pants I own, if I keep them under my belly (the BeBand helps to keep them from falling off, and keeps me from showing crack.) I also have a couple pairs of maternity khaki pants and one pair of black maternity pants, which aren't really my style outside of work, so I've been wearing them with a plain maternity shirt, and a scrub jacket. 

Thursday is my 20 week ultrasound (technically 19 weeks 6 days) and I am super nervous/excited. I'm beginning to get paranoid. What if the baby has no fingers? What if there is a heart problem? What if the baby's guts are still outside of its body?

And if there is a problem, I am going to blame myself. I haven't been taking my prenatal...for about 3 weeks now. Mostly they make me just a little bit nauseated (nothing that would cause me to lose my cookies) but enough to make me dread taking them. I bought folate right after I found out I was pregnant, then realized if I took my multivitamin, I was getting enough folic acid so didn't need to take the extra folate. I just yesterday pulled out the bottle. I should have done so sooner. I am probably getting enough folic acid in my diet, most of the time. I probably have nothing to worry about. I'm sure there are plenty of perfectly healthy babies out there that were born to mommies that never once took a vitamin or supplement while pregnant. But, there have been so many healthy babies born around me lately, that I feel like there is going to be a problem sometime soon. Some baby is going to be born with a defect, and knowing my luck it will probably be mine. What very dark and dreary thoughts for a pregnant lady to have. I know I'm not the first...and will not be the last.

The appointment on Thursday will settle my uncertainty, at least until the next appointment...and the next...and until the day I finally get to meet the little gummy bear...

I am so excited for Christmas this year. :D

Belly shot

Here I am at 5 weeks. Pretty flat at this point.

Here I am at basically 12 weeks (11 weeks 6 days). There is a bulge there. I was starting to notice a bump at this point, but still fitting fine in all my clothes.

Here is 15 weeks.

Here is today, 17weeks and 4 days.

______________________________________

I find myself touching my belly all the time. It is a subconscious act, most of the time. Sometimes I'm massaging my muscles that get sore here and there. But sometimes I'm trying to see if I can feel the baby move on the outside, so I can have Jamaal try to feel it. I've felt the baby move only a couple times. I've read somewhere that the baby is sleeping close to 20 hours a day, so it makes sense that it is difficult for me to feel the little gummy bear.  

Last night I had a dream that I could feel my babies shoulder, arm and hand. And SHE held my hand. That's right, the first dream where I actually felt like the baby was a girl. I cannot wait to find out for sure so I can start buying clothes and registering for things. Here is a countdown:

Updates

I should really be packing right now. We are going to be leaving in 2 hours to go camping, and my clothes and things are not packed.

But instead I find myself here. :D

Hope you're okay with that.

Just a couple things I want to share:

1. On Tuesday, July 20th I felt the baby move very clearly. It was after work at about 3:50 or so. I was sitting waiting for my bus. I leaned back and relaxed, and felt the little one doing acrobatics. It truly felt like he had hold of a bar and was twirling around and around it. The sad thing is, that since Tuesday, I haven't sat down long enough to even begin to feel baby move again. I have a long car ride today, so hopefully baby isn't asleep. (now, though as I write this, I'm feeling little tickles. :D )

2. I'm truly starting to show. I really need to show pictures, but that will have to wait until after the weekend. I can no longer fit in my own pre-pregnancy shorts/jeans/capris unless I leave them partially zipped and unbuttoned. I bought a Belly Band from Target, to help hold up my clothes, and it works well. (it is not the one pictured here, and was about $10 cheaper.)

I went to the Supermall to buy some maternity clothes and found the cheapest, best selection at Burlington Coat Factory. My cousin informs me that Ross, also has some maternity clothes, (I thought she had said Marshall's, but the one in Supermall did not have one). I have not made it to Ross yet. I'll wait a bit longer before going again. I do still have some pre-pregnancy shirts that fit just fine. Mostly because of the style that they are. I like wearing really loose fitting clothes that are about a size too big, so they still fit.

And also, people are beginning to notice the belly. At work I still fit into most of my scrub tops. (Some have been retired, because they fit, but I cannot get into the pockets in the front, so, I figure, what's the point?) However, I "fit" in my scrubs, you can still see what could be a firm fat roll, or a baby bump. Most people don't say anything, but when I mention it, they let out a sigh of relief and say "I thought you looked pregnant." Scrubs are very unflattering things, you see. :D

3. Last night, I was up until 1:00am. I hope that it was worth it. :D I made two of the very first pies I've ever made independently! I have made many pies in my day, don't get me wrong. But there has always been a key person there to help: my mom. She has always been the pie Queen. Every Thanksgiving and Christmas season (back as far as I can remember) she has made the pies for my family gatherings. When most of my father's family moved over to the Spokane area, she still made pies, but usually fewer than before.

Jess and I, in high school, got together several summers to pick blackberries and bake pies. We made miniature pies for everyone in our families, and they all got to pick what filling they wanted. My mom helped us on the crust. She prepared it, and helped us to roll it out etc. I'm sure we eventually did it ourselves once she reminded us how to do it. (I've been watching her make these pies all my life, so it was always easier to let her do it for me.)

This summer, I made a peach pie using store bought crust. It was scrumptious. But even then, my mom helped with key steps: she peeled the peaches, she helped me with assembling the crust when I asked, she taught me the proper heating method that she uses (15 minutes at 425, then 45-60 minutes at 325), she basically walked me through the process.

Last night, I called her once to remind myself of the proper heating method, and to ask for the ingredients in the pies (because the cookbooks I have are terrible and don't have the ingredients for fresh peach pie.) That was all I needed. She had already taught me the basics, and without her there to lean on, I stood pretty well on my own. I used the recipe found here. I found it to be relatively easy to work with, in that it did not stick, crack, crumble or rip. It got the job done pretty easily. It just took a while for it to get soft enough that I could roll it. The recipe calls for the dough to be refrigerated, which is something that is new to me. But because it is made with butter, which softens pretty quickly at room temperature (compared to shortening) I understand why it should be kept cold. The beautiful thing about this dough is, you can make it, portion it out, store it in the fridge, and then prepare your fruit. If you are like me, it will take you an hour to peel every last apple and peach. Then, you have to cut them up. :D I used a carrot peeler to peel my apples, because I am awful with a paring knife, and it worked extremely well. If you pull, as you would with a paring knife, instead of push away as you do with a carrot, it goes pretty quickly. It took me about 3 apples to realize this. :D

I hope my pies taste as scrumptious as they look. Pictures will come...I hope.

4. Today we will leave to go camping. I am still pretty nervous. Though I have made a sort of peace (I mistyped "peach" instead of peace...haha.) with it. I have decided that I will have fun if it pains me. I'm sure at times I will be not nice but I am going to try to be a good girl. It helped me to have Bret tell his friends that if they wanted a monte cristo in the morning they would need to bring turkey, ham and bread. I would provide the eggs and cheese. This way, if they don't bring it, I won't feel as bad for them as we are all scarfing down our beautiful, warm, sweet breakfast sandwiches. They can look on with all the longing in their eyes, and I won't feel a pang of guilt, because I warned them. I buy the expensive lunch meat, dang it! I cannot pay to feed an army! :D

Not completely symptom free

I realize that I am one of the lucky ones. I had no problems, to speak of, during the first 14 weeks. Last Tuesday, however, that all changed. The world's worst heartburn came to stay. As I got into bed, I felt the heartburn starting. I chewed some tums, and drank water. I propped myself up with pillows to try and help the reflux from making it up my esophagus, but to no avail. I grabbed the bowl I've had sitting next to my bed, and rushed into the bathroom. When the heartburn is that bad, I have no choice but to vomit, or else stay up all night long. I have to admit, it happened to me before last Tuesday, but I figured it was more related to what I had eaten during the day. Wednesday things weren't too bad. I ate okay. I didn't get heartburn at night, so I attributed the vomiting on Tuesday as related to what I had eaten again. Thursday, I was okay during the day, and then during water aerobics, I started getting heartburn.

I stole things from my mom's house that seemed milder to my stomach, like milk and cereal, and toast. And only ate a small amount before bed. I had some heartburn when I went to bed, but it was mild, and I was able to sleep through it. Friday, I woke up with heartburn. I had to go to work, so I bought a Zantac (they only sell single pills) from the gift shop, took it, and my heartburn was gone until about dinner time. After working a 12-hour shift, I went to the store to buy some antacid reliever. I was going to get Zantac, but the Pepcid AC was cheaper, and a similar drug, so I figured I would try it instead. (Of course I bought the generic Safeway version to save even more.)

I was able to eat Mexican food without heartburn, by taking Pepcid. :D I think I've found my helper.

Today I haven't taken any. I'm going to only take it now if I begin to feel the acid coming on. (or if I plan on eating something really spicy.)

Prior to being pregnant, I've had a night of bad heartburn that ended with me vomiting, so this is not a new thing for me. It is just more frequent now. GERD (gastro-esophageal reflux disease) runs in my family. My dad has it, my brother has it, and I'm pretty sure I have some as well. Guess what, it's a hereditary thing. :D Woo hoo.

I still consider myself lucky, even though I was pretty miserable last week. I know it could have been way, way worse for me.

Strip quilt back process

Remember this?

I am super proud of my progress. I thought this quilt back might take forever to piece, but I'm nearly there. I stopped only because I had a piece of pie to eat, and because I have to work tomorrow. :D You may or may not be able to read the center text. But the fabric I bought for the back, I thought might be wide enough, and if it wasn't I was going to piece some of it together, somehow. But after doing a few calculations (very crude guesstimating: when I had the quilt top laying out on a table I placed the fabric for the back on it to see if it would work if I had the salvage end running along the top of the quilt) I realized I did not have enough. I did have, however, a lot of the fabric from the quilt top left over. So the next question I had was how to lay it out. I could do something like the quilt back shown here (scroll down to near the end of the post). Only my squares would be an equal 2 inches around to coordinate with the quilt tops equal 2" rows.

This, I decided would be a little bit more work, and as I said before, I would have to add some fabric to the sides of the bottom piece of fabric as I didn't have quite enough of the polka dot to reach from edge to edge.

So, I decided to make my life simpler. I would simply put the polka dot down the center of the back. Then I quickly decided to piece 2.5' strips of the fabric as I did on the front, then I would cut rectangles out of the fabric, and once that was done I would piece 4 of these rectangles (the 6" x 20" rectangles shown on the edges) together to make strips to go down the side of the quilt back.

This is where I stopped today. Next, all I need to do is piece the strips to either side of the salvage edge of my polka dot fabric, then trim it up. I'm thinking that I might add some bias tape to run down the seam between the strips on the edges and the center of the quilt; just to decrease clash. My mom has a bias tape maker, so I'll borrow hers to make the tape out of some of the sashing I used on the front. (Though for some reason this fabric is nowhere to be found, so I might have to buy some more from JoAnns.)

Finally, I get to quilt! :D (But to make this happen, I'll have to make a trip to Lowe's. Something I think I'll do on Sunday. :D)

But that, my friends, is something for another post. I hope this isn't too confusing. But I'm proud of my progress....

Kayleen, how is your quilt coming?

A work in progress.

In February (wow!) of this year I took a quilting class with a good friend of mine. I posted about it here and here. I finally pulled it out again. And all I've done thus far is add the teal polka dot fabric around the top. But that was all I needed to do to finish the quilt top. :D It is actually a bit bigger than I thought it would be, measuring about 50" by 72". So now, I'm working on the quilt back. Which is turning into a lot of math, calculations and planning. The fabric I bought for the backing I don't have enough of just by itself. So I think I'll have some of the fabrics from the front on the back. I just cut my strips, I'll begin piecing them later this week. I'll have to cut the stabilizer I bought, because it is about twice as big as I needed. But that's okay I can use the other half for a quilt about this size. :D

The quilt top draped over my couch.

A close-up of the corner.

The quilt top laying flat on the table outside.