Graham is 6 weeks old today. He is currently snoring on my chest in the Moby wrap. Riley and I went for a walk tonight since it was still beautiful out. I'm not looking forward to winter being cold and wet and less outdoor friendly, so we took advantage of the last day of Summer.
Graham is looking to have a milk allergy. I'm not excited about this. I'm going to try to get milk out of my diet and see if that helps him. He pukes a lot and now is starting to get a rash on his face and neck. I originally thought it was from moisture as he will often puke at night and not fuss or wake up so he has a wet bib on for multiple hours when asleep. But today, after he had some formula for the first time, it seemed to be worse. I love my nonfat caramel macchiatos. (I was just going to go into how soy milk adds points to my drink, and pulled up the nutrition facts only to find that a Grande with soy milk is 6 points, as opposed to 5 points for one with Nonfat milk. A Tall is only one point less for both soy and nonfat milk.) So I suppose I will try soy milk and see if I like it. I will try to go milk free for 2 weeks and see if it makes any difference in his puking and his rash. I really hope it isn't the case. Because I love ice cream. ;)
He is really starting to get interactive. He smiles here and there and has said some "goos." But mostly he screams and cries. ;) He seems to think that if he is awake he should be eating, and he will let you know if he doesn't get fed when he wakes up. :) He can be soothed, but he seems to do better with me soothing him. Thankfully, he takes a pacifier most of the time. But there is a point of no return: if he gets mad enough he will not take the pacifier, and will get even more mad at you if you keep trying. Needless to say, he does cry quite a lot as I have another little boy to feed and clothe and entertain. Each day there seems to be a bit more time where he will just be awake looking around, kicking and working on his karate chop. But it is still pretty fleeting.
Yesterday he weighed in at 9 pounds 4.5 ounces. (And I just looked and that is EXACTLY what Riley weighed at 6 weeks. Crazy!) He is gaining, but slowly. I am okay with this, because I like having a little baby for as long as possible. He is still in newborn size diapers, but will be moving up to size 1 here soon. Today I put him in a 3 months outfit (because all of the newborn ones need washed, as I only have about 5) and he almost fits. It is still big on him though.
Riley is really starting to be a big help around the house. He will bring me things (if he knows where it is) when I ask, and can entertain himself without a problem. A couple nights ago at bedtime Graham was screaming because he was hungry, but I needed to set him down to pick up a few things in Riley's room. So I propped him up in Riley's bed. Riley thought this was the best idea, jumped in bed and slid right up to Graham with his head on his bear (which he uses as a pillow) and told me to put his blankets on him. I put the blanket on Riley only and he said "No, mommy. On him too." So I put the blankets on them both. Then Riley said "Goodnight Mommy!" With Graham screaming next to him. :) Such a silly man. He was okay with me taking Graham with me though and did not throw a fit. (Which, with a toddler is completely possible.)
Riley gives Baby Brother kisses, eskimos and hugs whenever he thinks to. Which often means when he is asleep. Riley cannot wait to play with his brother. I'm hoping this attitude doesn't change much, though I realize that they will fight regardless of how well they get along. It is inevitable.
Riley is talking up a storm. He cracks me up every day. Some of the things he says are priceless. He is starting to have fights with himself, or rather his hands will talk to each other and disagree. "Are you dancing? No! I'm not." His hands have said to each other. And on and on he goes. He can count to 10, sometimes starting at 1, but other times starting at 5. :) We are working on colors now, but he seems to be slow with this. Who knows, maybe he is color blind. Or perhaps it isn't important to him right now. :)
Well, this is all I have for now. My weight loss journey is continuing. And so far is going well. I'll post more on this later. :) Maybe...
Thursday, September 19, 2013
Thursday, September 5, 2013
A day on plan
Another post related to my Weight Watchers journey. Today I can say that I successfully stayed within my Daily Points. Yesterday I did not. But that is why we have those extra weekly points available, right?! Today I tracked most of my meals before I ate. This led to me having to change my tracking, because I didn't finish my tuna sandwich at lunch time. I only ate half of it. One of my problems is that I tend to eat until the food is gone, instead of until I am satisfied. I am making an effort to listen to my body instead of mindlessly eating.
Because I had only used 10 of my points for breakfast and lunch (and I've given myself 43 points per day) I relaxed a bit for dinner at Azteca with my parents. I tracked afterwards for that, but I tried to keep track in my head of all that I ate. The scale will tell me how I did next week. It felt good to be in control today. Though I must admit I felt really hungry for some of the morning. I set some carrots out on the counter for me to nibble on during those times when I felt bored and ready to eat again. Which really helped.
For dessert tonight Riley and I shared a WW Chocolate smoothie blended with 2% milk, ice and a frozen banana. I've been collecting bananas for a while, mostly to make banana bread, but decided that I wanted to try it in a smoothie tonight. It was good. Albeit a little mild. I had to add water, since the ice and frozen banana made it really thick, so next time I think I'll add about half as much ice. We'll see. But it was only 3 points for a grande size smoothie. (Riley had a tall, and there is another "tall" amount in my freezer now for another day.) Could have been less points if I had 1% or nonfat milk, but Riley is drinking 2% and is the main milk drinker in the house.
Riley and I love making and enjoying smoothies. :) And with fruit and veggies being 0 points, I can have a pretty satisfying smoothie for very few points. Looking forward to more in the future! :)
Because I had only used 10 of my points for breakfast and lunch (and I've given myself 43 points per day) I relaxed a bit for dinner at Azteca with my parents. I tracked afterwards for that, but I tried to keep track in my head of all that I ate. The scale will tell me how I did next week. It felt good to be in control today. Though I must admit I felt really hungry for some of the morning. I set some carrots out on the counter for me to nibble on during those times when I felt bored and ready to eat again. Which really helped.
For dessert tonight Riley and I shared a WW Chocolate smoothie blended with 2% milk, ice and a frozen banana. I've been collecting bananas for a while, mostly to make banana bread, but decided that I wanted to try it in a smoothie tonight. It was good. Albeit a little mild. I had to add water, since the ice and frozen banana made it really thick, so next time I think I'll add about half as much ice. We'll see. But it was only 3 points for a grande size smoothie. (Riley had a tall, and there is another "tall" amount in my freezer now for another day.) Could have been less points if I had 1% or nonfat milk, but Riley is drinking 2% and is the main milk drinker in the house.
Riley and I love making and enjoying smoothies. :) And with fruit and veggies being 0 points, I can have a pretty satisfying smoothie for very few points. Looking forward to more in the future! :)
On baby weight.
Today I forced myself to go in and get weighed. I was a little disappointed, because my home scale read 3-4 pounds lighter, but I dealt with it. It is my starting point. It is my kick-start to get losing.
Graham will be 4 weeks tomorrow. And I have 24 pounds to lose. That's about 1.5 pounds a week if I do it as quickly as before. Full disclosure: I raised my goal weight by a few pounds, because I was finding it difficult to maintain the original weight I picked before I got pregnant. I only raised it by 3 pounds, because I would rather be happy and healthy, than stressed and healthy. :P And hey, if I'm able to lose more and maintain it this time, I'll go for that too. :)
But honestly, I'm really not ready to start this weight loss journey. Junk food tastes good! Sweets make me happy. Celebrations are on their way! Halloween. Thanksgiving. Riley's 3rd birthday! Christmas. Plus Fall brings so many comfort foods and baked goods. And I love baking.
I told myself I would not find myself right back here, but here I am again. I went back and read all my posts related to weight loss, and wouldn't you know, the same themes and feelings are current in my life now. The first one is here.
Here I am post baby #2 and I'm not happy with my outward appearance. I look at myself in the mirror and I'm disgusted. I do not feel attractive, naked or clothed. I fear it will have some affect on the already strained relationship with my husband. So you would think that my motivation would be there. That I would be driven to lose, and yet the opposite is true. I'm clinging to food like it is a long lost friend. (After having gestational diabetes yet again, in some ways food is a long lost friend.) But I know that I should not use food as an outlet for my emotions; as a blanket to comfort me. I know. I have been here before. I know the journey. I know the program works. I know I'll feel and look amazing once the weight is off. But it seems like an eternity away. And homemade Oreo ice cream tastes good in the here and now.
In many ways I'm nervous that the weight won't come off like it did before. I'm also scared that the flabby belly I'm carrying around with me won't shrink back down. Why didn't I take pictures of my body after I lost the weight before? (I know why I didn't take before pictures, but now I wish I had them. Because I'm sure my body looks similar now, but I don't remember it ever being this bad.)
And then I need to remember that when I joined Weight Watchers, Riley was 9 months old. I had my fill of baked goods and fast food, and was tired of hoping the weight would fall off. I see it all the time on Facebook: My baby is 6 weeks old and I'm back in my pre-pregnancy jeans! or After 2 months I can say I weigh less than I did before I got pregnant!
And perhaps these ladies only gained the 15-20 pounds that the books tell you is healthy. (Though I just looked it up and the Mayo Clinic says 25-35 pounds is healthy for a person of normal BMI before getting pregnant.) I didn't do as bad as I thought. But...full disclosure...I gained 45 extra pounds. My willpower is awfully weak. (And my first trimester nausea is not strong enough!) But, hey! I'm consistent. I gained 45 pounds with Riley as well. I told myself I wouldn't...and honestly I did do better this time with my food choices, but here I am. And I have digressed, but I really do have to think about un-friending, and or hiding the aforementioned lucky ladies. (Just so you know, it takes a lot of willpower for me to not use a curse word to describe them.) :) But seriously, they should be happy, but seeing their good fortune just makes me focus on how I am not as lucky.
Where am I going with this?
This is my honest post on my weight loss journey. My struggles. Because it is okay to have ups and downs with weight. Because it is okay for someone who made Lifetime status to struggle too. Because I am human too. And I will lose this weight.
I went in today, despite not wanting to see that number on the scale, in order to hold myself accountable. I've been weighing myself at home and I have had some weight loss, but the last couple weeks I've been pretty stable. So I suppose it is time to get serious and start tracking. I mentioned before that I read over all of the weight loss posts that I shared before, and I found this (It was in a post after my first weight loss, I lost 1.6 pounds but was a little disappointed, expecting more of a loss.):
"And then I sat down and the meeting was exactly what I needed to hear. The leader read a poem about a pound of fat. The message was that people tend to say "I only lost a pound." Or "it was just a pound." And saying things like that make it seem like it isn't an accomplishment. When really the weight will be lost one pound at a time. She then equated it to a puzzle, and how a person doesn't approach a puzzle thinking they will throw several pieces together at a time; instead a person approaches a puzzle with one piece at a time. Obviously I have truncated the message, but hopefully you get the idea." (You can find the post here)
So, here I go. One puzzle piece at a time.
Graham will be 4 weeks tomorrow. And I have 24 pounds to lose. That's about 1.5 pounds a week if I do it as quickly as before. Full disclosure: I raised my goal weight by a few pounds, because I was finding it difficult to maintain the original weight I picked before I got pregnant. I only raised it by 3 pounds, because I would rather be happy and healthy, than stressed and healthy. :P And hey, if I'm able to lose more and maintain it this time, I'll go for that too. :)
But honestly, I'm really not ready to start this weight loss journey. Junk food tastes good! Sweets make me happy. Celebrations are on their way! Halloween. Thanksgiving. Riley's 3rd birthday! Christmas. Plus Fall brings so many comfort foods and baked goods. And I love baking.
I told myself I would not find myself right back here, but here I am again. I went back and read all my posts related to weight loss, and wouldn't you know, the same themes and feelings are current in my life now. The first one is here.
Here I am post baby #2 and I'm not happy with my outward appearance. I look at myself in the mirror and I'm disgusted. I do not feel attractive, naked or clothed. I fear it will have some affect on the already strained relationship with my husband. So you would think that my motivation would be there. That I would be driven to lose, and yet the opposite is true. I'm clinging to food like it is a long lost friend. (After having gestational diabetes yet again, in some ways food is a long lost friend.) But I know that I should not use food as an outlet for my emotions; as a blanket to comfort me. I know. I have been here before. I know the journey. I know the program works. I know I'll feel and look amazing once the weight is off. But it seems like an eternity away. And homemade Oreo ice cream tastes good in the here and now.
In many ways I'm nervous that the weight won't come off like it did before. I'm also scared that the flabby belly I'm carrying around with me won't shrink back down. Why didn't I take pictures of my body after I lost the weight before? (I know why I didn't take before pictures, but now I wish I had them. Because I'm sure my body looks similar now, but I don't remember it ever being this bad.)
And then I need to remember that when I joined Weight Watchers, Riley was 9 months old. I had my fill of baked goods and fast food, and was tired of hoping the weight would fall off. I see it all the time on Facebook: My baby is 6 weeks old and I'm back in my pre-pregnancy jeans! or After 2 months I can say I weigh less than I did before I got pregnant!
And perhaps these ladies only gained the 15-20 pounds that the books tell you is healthy. (Though I just looked it up and the Mayo Clinic says 25-35 pounds is healthy for a person of normal BMI before getting pregnant.) I didn't do as bad as I thought. But...full disclosure...I gained 45 extra pounds. My willpower is awfully weak. (And my first trimester nausea is not strong enough!) But, hey! I'm consistent. I gained 45 pounds with Riley as well. I told myself I wouldn't...and honestly I did do better this time with my food choices, but here I am. And I have digressed, but I really do have to think about un-friending, and or hiding the aforementioned lucky ladies. (Just so you know, it takes a lot of willpower for me to not use a curse word to describe them.) :) But seriously, they should be happy, but seeing their good fortune just makes me focus on how I am not as lucky.
Where am I going with this?
This is my honest post on my weight loss journey. My struggles. Because it is okay to have ups and downs with weight. Because it is okay for someone who made Lifetime status to struggle too. Because I am human too. And I will lose this weight.
I went in today, despite not wanting to see that number on the scale, in order to hold myself accountable. I've been weighing myself at home and I have had some weight loss, but the last couple weeks I've been pretty stable. So I suppose it is time to get serious and start tracking. I mentioned before that I read over all of the weight loss posts that I shared before, and I found this (It was in a post after my first weight loss, I lost 1.6 pounds but was a little disappointed, expecting more of a loss.):
"And then I sat down and the meeting was exactly what I needed to hear. The leader read a poem about a pound of fat. The message was that people tend to say "I only lost a pound." Or "it was just a pound." And saying things like that make it seem like it isn't an accomplishment. When really the weight will be lost one pound at a time. She then equated it to a puzzle, and how a person doesn't approach a puzzle thinking they will throw several pieces together at a time; instead a person approaches a puzzle with one piece at a time. Obviously I have truncated the message, but hopefully you get the idea." (You can find the post here)
So, here I go. One puzzle piece at a time.
Tuesday, September 3, 2013
Graham Edwin: The Birth Story
If you remember, I was very frustrated with how this pregnancy was going. I had agreed to an induction, but was getting denied the opportunity to go into the hospital. They kept telling me to call in, and every time they would say, call back in a couple hours. It was mentally draining. I was struggling with the concept. I shed many, many tears. My sleep was interrupted on Wednesday, as they told me to call in at 6 am, 9 am, and 11 am. Finally, at 11 am they gave me a check in time of 1 pm. If they didn't call me before then.
Finally relief! I showered, packed up our stuff, and we were on our way.
The issue: the hospital went "live" with electronic charting and orders on the Saturday before, so everything in the hospital was slower than normal. (And, I assume, the staffing ratios were even more important to keep low, since the nurses had a lot of new stuff to watch out for.)
We were checked into our room, and an hour later I received the first dose of cytotec, a pill. Cytotec is used to start labor by softening the cervix. After talking with the nurse about my first labor and delivery, she told me that Riley's birth was also an induction. I never considered that, since my water spontaneously broke. However, since contractions needed help to really get started, with cytotec, it was considered an induction.
I was given my first dose at 2:45pm. It is given every 3 hours. I had to be monitored for 1 hour after taking it, but then was allowed to walk and leave the floor. It was nice to be able to walk around and feel like a normal person. Unfortunately, the cytotec didn't do much as far as changing my cervix. I was at 1-2cm when I arrived at the hospital, and after 2 doses, I was at a 2. My contractions were irregular, and mostly mild. At 11 pm the new night nurse came in to meet me. She said that the midwife was on her way in, and we would find out if I would be staying in the hospital or going home.
I was not too excited to hear this. She said sometimes cytotec doesn't work, and mothers can go home for a couple days until labor starts. I was ready to put up a fight. Sure, my contractions weren't regular. But I wasn't always comfortable. How would I know to come back in?
So, I was left to labor for a while as we waited for the midwife to come. It was 1245 before I saw my nurse again. I still hadn't seen a midwife, but my contractions were still there. Irregular, but there. My nurse tells me that the midwife says I get to stay. And she is going to start me on pitocin. So she had to start an IV.
The first attempt was painful, and unfortunately she wasn't successful. I was praying that her second attempt would be a success, because I didn't want to go all "nurse" on her. The cannulas they use feel like they are as big as a drinking straw, I swear! The second IV was just as painful, but it was a success. So, she started up the pitocin. I was a bit nervous. Pitocin makes the contractions more regular, but they are unnatural. Now, I was supposed to stay on the monitor, which meant I was supposed to stay in bed. The contractions really started picking up. For me at least. They were quite painful. All I wanted to do was get up and move. My nurse, when she was in there, was very helpful in telling me to let the contractions be. My gut reaction was to tighten and fight the contractions. I felt like I had to go to the bathroom every 30 minutes or so, so I would walk the short distance to the bathroom.
I had the typical bowel movement, and I began realizing I was starting labor. But I was trying to be quiet about it. I felt like the monitor was showing mild contractions, and if I was whining about them I was just being a baby. So I tried to be as quiet and stoic about them as possible.
But eventually I wore down. I was snappy at my mom at times, which was a completely different experience from when I was laboring with Riley. With Riley I pretty much asked for the epidural once contractions started, so the rest of my labor I was comfortable and a little medicated.
My mother-in-law had a flight to catch. She had delayed it when we though I was going in on Tuesday, thinking she would get to meet the baby, then leave the following day. But now it was looking as if she wouldn't get to meet him after all. She had a car coming to pick her up at our house at 5:30am. Just before 4:00am, she decides she needs to leave. So she and Jamaal leave to go get her car. It was while they were gone that I asked my nurse: "What do I need to be to get an epidural?" She said at least 4cm dilated. She went to get the midwife, to see if she wanted to be the one to check me. So, I went to the bathroom. Sitting on the toilet I chanted: Please be a 4! Please be a 4! I was ready to relax.
The nurse came back 10 minutes later (which felt like an eternity) saying that the midwife was in a delivery, so she would be the one to check me. I was at a 5 or a 6, and my bag of water was bulging. Whew! "Epidural it up!" I said. But first she had to run a bolus of fluid in. And she increased the rate of the IV fluids. Time seemed to stop. It was 4:00am at this point. Jamaal got back in the room around 4:20. They sent my mom out of the room saying that only one family member could be there while the epidural was being placed.
At around 4:30 or so people started coming in to get the room ready. And they set me up on the side of the bed. The anesthesiologist came in the room and immediately went on the computer. He started asking me questions, but at this point my contractions were bad enough that I really could not talk through them. And they seemed to be on top of each other, so I was having a rough time answering. I was very irritated with the guy, but didn't want to be mean to him because he had the drugs.
Finally they got me positioned, and he started prepping me. At 4:45am a lot of things happened. He had the epidural needle in my back and I said "Uh oh." Everyone in the room stopped. For a second it was silent. They asked me what was wrong and my water broke. The reason I said "uh oh" was I had an overwhelming desire to push. So much so that I really could not fight it. My eyes were huge as I looked to my nurse who was helping me to stay in position. She calmed me down, told me to make small grunts if I had to push, but that was impossible. It was like putting a starving person in front of a buffet and telling them to not eat. I was panicked. My worst fear realized: having no pain relief for the delivery. The anesthesiologist started to speed things up. He got the catheter in, and gave me a bolus of numbing medicine and some fentanyl. I felt some relief. But I still felt like pushing. It was then that my nurse told me that once he was done, we would swing my legs over onto the bed, and start pushing. You're going to have a baby, they kept saying but I was still worried. How the heck was I going to make it through this!?
Meanwhile, my mom was out in the waiting area. When my water broke, there was quite a commotion. I believe that is when the midwife got in the room, and people started breaking the bed down. She heard the noise and got back to my room as quick as she could. Someone at the door stopped her from coming in. Asked her who she was, (she responded with "Mom") And they asked Jamaal if "mom" could come in, and he said yes. I was too busy trying (unsuccessfully) to keep from pushing.
And my nurse was right. The nurses helped me swing my legs back on the bed, and the midwife checked be and confirmed that I was ready to push. I want to say I pushed for a total of 5 contractions. In between one of them I said "Riley is my favorite." :) I was joking of course, but this delivery for sure hurt worse than Riley's. The midwife was very helpful, and my nurse was right there talking me through it. At 5:13am Graham Edwin Neagle was born. He cried immediately. And apparently had his hand at his face, so the midwife is certain he would have been out sooner if he had his arms at his sides.
I didn't tear or need stitches, which was a relief. The midwife and I introduce ourselves to each other. She had come in the room to meet me, little did she know she would be delivering my baby first. :) He was, and is, perfect.
Finally relief! I showered, packed up our stuff, and we were on our way.
The issue: the hospital went "live" with electronic charting and orders on the Saturday before, so everything in the hospital was slower than normal. (And, I assume, the staffing ratios were even more important to keep low, since the nurses had a lot of new stuff to watch out for.)
We were checked into our room, and an hour later I received the first dose of cytotec, a pill. Cytotec is used to start labor by softening the cervix. After talking with the nurse about my first labor and delivery, she told me that Riley's birth was also an induction. I never considered that, since my water spontaneously broke. However, since contractions needed help to really get started, with cytotec, it was considered an induction.
I was given my first dose at 2:45pm. It is given every 3 hours. I had to be monitored for 1 hour after taking it, but then was allowed to walk and leave the floor. It was nice to be able to walk around and feel like a normal person. Unfortunately, the cytotec didn't do much as far as changing my cervix. I was at 1-2cm when I arrived at the hospital, and after 2 doses, I was at a 2. My contractions were irregular, and mostly mild. At 11 pm the new night nurse came in to meet me. She said that the midwife was on her way in, and we would find out if I would be staying in the hospital or going home.
I was not too excited to hear this. She said sometimes cytotec doesn't work, and mothers can go home for a couple days until labor starts. I was ready to put up a fight. Sure, my contractions weren't regular. But I wasn't always comfortable. How would I know to come back in?
So, I was left to labor for a while as we waited for the midwife to come. It was 1245 before I saw my nurse again. I still hadn't seen a midwife, but my contractions were still there. Irregular, but there. My nurse tells me that the midwife says I get to stay. And she is going to start me on pitocin. So she had to start an IV.
The first attempt was painful, and unfortunately she wasn't successful. I was praying that her second attempt would be a success, because I didn't want to go all "nurse" on her. The cannulas they use feel like they are as big as a drinking straw, I swear! The second IV was just as painful, but it was a success. So, she started up the pitocin. I was a bit nervous. Pitocin makes the contractions more regular, but they are unnatural. Now, I was supposed to stay on the monitor, which meant I was supposed to stay in bed. The contractions really started picking up. For me at least. They were quite painful. All I wanted to do was get up and move. My nurse, when she was in there, was very helpful in telling me to let the contractions be. My gut reaction was to tighten and fight the contractions. I felt like I had to go to the bathroom every 30 minutes or so, so I would walk the short distance to the bathroom.
I had the typical bowel movement, and I began realizing I was starting labor. But I was trying to be quiet about it. I felt like the monitor was showing mild contractions, and if I was whining about them I was just being a baby. So I tried to be as quiet and stoic about them as possible.
But eventually I wore down. I was snappy at my mom at times, which was a completely different experience from when I was laboring with Riley. With Riley I pretty much asked for the epidural once contractions started, so the rest of my labor I was comfortable and a little medicated.
My mother-in-law had a flight to catch. She had delayed it when we though I was going in on Tuesday, thinking she would get to meet the baby, then leave the following day. But now it was looking as if she wouldn't get to meet him after all. She had a car coming to pick her up at our house at 5:30am. Just before 4:00am, she decides she needs to leave. So she and Jamaal leave to go get her car. It was while they were gone that I asked my nurse: "What do I need to be to get an epidural?" She said at least 4cm dilated. She went to get the midwife, to see if she wanted to be the one to check me. So, I went to the bathroom. Sitting on the toilet I chanted: Please be a 4! Please be a 4! I was ready to relax.
The nurse came back 10 minutes later (which felt like an eternity) saying that the midwife was in a delivery, so she would be the one to check me. I was at a 5 or a 6, and my bag of water was bulging. Whew! "Epidural it up!" I said. But first she had to run a bolus of fluid in. And she increased the rate of the IV fluids. Time seemed to stop. It was 4:00am at this point. Jamaal got back in the room around 4:20. They sent my mom out of the room saying that only one family member could be there while the epidural was being placed.
At around 4:30 or so people started coming in to get the room ready. And they set me up on the side of the bed. The anesthesiologist came in the room and immediately went on the computer. He started asking me questions, but at this point my contractions were bad enough that I really could not talk through them. And they seemed to be on top of each other, so I was having a rough time answering. I was very irritated with the guy, but didn't want to be mean to him because he had the drugs.
Finally they got me positioned, and he started prepping me. At 4:45am a lot of things happened. He had the epidural needle in my back and I said "Uh oh." Everyone in the room stopped. For a second it was silent. They asked me what was wrong and my water broke. The reason I said "uh oh" was I had an overwhelming desire to push. So much so that I really could not fight it. My eyes were huge as I looked to my nurse who was helping me to stay in position. She calmed me down, told me to make small grunts if I had to push, but that was impossible. It was like putting a starving person in front of a buffet and telling them to not eat. I was panicked. My worst fear realized: having no pain relief for the delivery. The anesthesiologist started to speed things up. He got the catheter in, and gave me a bolus of numbing medicine and some fentanyl. I felt some relief. But I still felt like pushing. It was then that my nurse told me that once he was done, we would swing my legs over onto the bed, and start pushing. You're going to have a baby, they kept saying but I was still worried. How the heck was I going to make it through this!?
Meanwhile, my mom was out in the waiting area. When my water broke, there was quite a commotion. I believe that is when the midwife got in the room, and people started breaking the bed down. She heard the noise and got back to my room as quick as she could. Someone at the door stopped her from coming in. Asked her who she was, (she responded with "Mom") And they asked Jamaal if "mom" could come in, and he said yes. I was too busy trying (unsuccessfully) to keep from pushing.
And my nurse was right. The nurses helped me swing my legs back on the bed, and the midwife checked be and confirmed that I was ready to push. I want to say I pushed for a total of 5 contractions. In between one of them I said "Riley is my favorite." :) I was joking of course, but this delivery for sure hurt worse than Riley's. The midwife was very helpful, and my nurse was right there talking me through it. At 5:13am Graham Edwin Neagle was born. He cried immediately. And apparently had his hand at his face, so the midwife is certain he would have been out sooner if he had his arms at his sides.
I didn't tear or need stitches, which was a relief. The midwife and I introduce ourselves to each other. She had come in the room to meet me, little did she know she would be delivering my baby first. :) He was, and is, perfect.
Graham Edwin Neagle
Born 8/8/2013 at 5:13am
7 lbs 10 oz
18.25" long
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