A few blurbs.

I've been pretty quiet on here lately. I've thought about posting, but then don't really have too much to post about. I've been doing a lot, and yet not much at all. So here are a few little blurbs.

Baby.
He has been kicking like crazy. I've seen it on the outside now, but only if I put a little pressure on my belly somewhere. He's still small enough that my fat and organs soften his blows. He will usually kick several times in a row about 45 seconds apart, and then be still for a couple hours. He probably isn't still, from what we saw on the ultrasound, but is gentle enough that I can't feel him as easily. People can definitely tell now that I'm pregnant. (Though in scrubs, sometimes my patients don't notice.)

Names.
Jamaal and I have started talking about names. I think we are going to have a hard time. I'm not definitely in love with any one name. There are a few I like. One, of which, I took from Jamaal's list. I had him make a list of names up to see what he would come up with. There wasn't a lot there, and several I didn't particularly care for. I haven't yet shown him my list. I have a feeling that I'm not going to want to tell anyone until the baby is born, and the papers are signed, for several reasons.
1. I don't want judgment to sway our decision. One might love or hate our name and I don't want to second guess the name we pick because of someone else's opinion. I can say that I don't care about others' opinions, but with several weeks ahead of me, that is a lot of time to dwell on conversations I might have.
2. I reserve the right to change my mind when I see my baby's face. If he takes on his Irish and Danish heritage over his African heritage I don't want him to be stuck with a name like Deshawn. ;) But also, he might look like a Peter over a Philip when I meet him.

Work.
My nurse manager (the "boss" on our unit) posted some new job openings for different shifts. The most relevant opening is a day position. I currently have a day/night rotation. I have liked it better than working the evening/night rotation that I was hired on with. (I only actually worked that shift for a couple months before a day/night rotation opened up and I took it immediately.) Night shift, I believe, is a good option for me while pregnant. I am hoping I'll be able to work for longer while on night shift when I get to the last couple months. There is simply a little less action at night, and I'm able to sit down and put my feet up. Day shift I am moving all the time. However, after the baby is here, I would like to try a few different career changes. If I can find an opportunity, I would like to get a second part-time job closer to home. I would love it if I could find one where the little gummy bear could come with me. I've looked into child care facilities, but I don't know if they would hire an RN or not. I'll get more serious about it closer to my due date. If I did find a second job, I would decrease my hours at my current job. Because the benefits are hard to beat, I'll go down to 50% (20 hours a week) so I can keep my insurance, etc. The other job, hopefully will just be 2 shifts a week or less. As you can imagine, it would be difficult to coordinate two different jobs if I am rotating between days and nights. There is a straight night opening, but as I sometimes have a hard time staying awake driving home now, when I am able to sleep as much as I desire, I don't feel it is safe for me to be driving home sleep deprived after baby enters the world.

Water Aerobics.
I am so glad I started and have stuck with water aerobics. It feels so good to be in the water workin' my butt off. :D I have to alter a few of the exercises now, because my belly makes it hard for me to bring my knees up as high as I used to, but for the most part I don't feel I'm doing things much differently...yet. I keep up with my sister-in-law still, so that is a win for me. I have had to cut back just a little to keep my heart rate below 160 (which was my mid-wives' recommendation), but I still get a good work out.

Cooking.
Yesterday I decided to make the Cook's Illustrated recipe: "The Perfect Chocolate Chip Cookie." I'm not sure the prep work is worth it though. You have to brown the butter. Not much scares me when it comes to baking, pie crusts, bring them on, cheesecake, no problem. But browning butter, I'm shaking in my boots. I'm pretty sure I nearly burnt this butter, but fortunately I didn't. That would have been a lot of butter to waste (because if I was going to take my time to brown butter, I wasn't going to waste it by making a single batch.) Plus, the recipe said it only made 16 cookies. Jamaal loves cookies. He will sit and eat nearly a dozen by himself (and I think he doesn't finish the dozen off only to save a couple for me). If this recipe truly makes the Perfect cookie, I thought, then Jamaal will have a hard time saving those last few for me. Turns out, I think they made 16 giant cookies with the recipe. I would guess a single batch would make 2.5 dozen, and the double batch I made will probably make close to 5. At least I know I'll get a couple for myself. ;) I made the dough yesterday prior to taking my parents out to see Inception. Since I was curious what they would taste like, I baked 6 cookies, and brought one for each of us on the car ride to the theater. They were hot out of the oven. The only thing I regret is not grabbing my nearly empty jug of milk to take a swig out of when I finished my cookie. The jury is still out as to whether or not this recipe makes the perfect cookie. It was good, but I don't know that it was worth browning the butter (and therefore nearly peeing my pants) over.  

Pelvic Rest.
Sucks. Big time.

Updates

On Thursday, my mom, Jamaal and I went to my 20 week ultrasound. I was nervous/excited getting ready for our appointment.

The ultrasound tech had to get measurements done before checking for gender. And, because the baby kept moving around, it took her about 45 minutes just to measure everything.

I was watching closely for malformations, but found none. From my perspective there appears to be no cleft lip or palate. I saw four chambers of a heart, beating regularly. There was no sign of gastroschisis. (The baby's guts were all inside the abdomen.) (BTW, the tech was a little shocked when, after she noted the stomach inside the abdomen, I said, "oh good, it doesn't have gastroschisis." She thought maybe a friend of mine had a baby with it recently. She told me to go home and read nothing medical. I told her I was a nurse, and it was too late for me.)

Then she said "You guys have a very wiggly little boy."  We then watched as he would not hold his legs still. Kick. Kick. Kick. She had a very hard time measuring his legs since he would not hold still. She said that he was going to be a little soccer player. It is amazing to me, that I can hardly feel him in there and yet he was kicking around so much. On the monitor, he looked like a full term newborn, when really he only weighs about 12 ounces right now.

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A doctor reviewed my ultrasound and discussed the results with my midwife. And on Monday I got a phone call from Angie (my midwife). The placenta is very close to my cervix. It is not a placenta previa, at this time. But it is very close to being over my cervix nonetheless. Because there is a risk of bleeding, and a risk of the placenta growing over the cervix more, she put me on pelvic rest.

I texted my mom and sister-in-law this yesterday (that the placenta was close to the cervix, and I was on pelvic rest) My sister-in-law asked if that meant I couldn't go to water aerobics. I responded: "I can. I don't orgasm at water aerobics, maybe you do. ;)" My mom called me shortly after to ask the same question. Since they both responded similarly it occurred to me that "pelvic rest" is not something that all people know what it means. Pelvic rest ultimately means that I cannot have intercourse, and can also not have an orgasm.

8 weeks of no sex or orgasm. It is going to be a rough 8 weeks. Not going to lie, I've cried about it. After 8 weeks, we will have a follow up ultrasound that will check where the placenta is. Angie told me that most of the time the placenta moves up on its own as the uterus grows.

Last night the little gummy bear was kicking like crazy. It felt as though he was flipping feet over head, and kicking the whole way. He was still doing it when we went to bed, so I had Jamaal feel, and he was able to feel him kick. I swear you can probably see it happen on the outside as well. He's got some powerful kicks for such a little man.

19 weeks and counting

My patients are beginning to ask me if I'm pregnant now. Prior to this last week and a half, I've been the one to spill the beans. After which, my patients usually sigh and say "I was wondering if you were." I suppose it just depends on what I am wearing. Some of my scrubs still sort of hide my belly, or make it look like I'm round all around and not just with a baby bump. I have actually had to retire a lot of my scrubs, because while I can still get them on, I cannot get my hands into my front pockets. (which is the whole point of wearing them in the first place. I need a place to hold all my pens and notes and supplies.) I'm going to invest in a couple more scrub jackets, which I'll be able to wear after the baby is born. But with my BeBand, I can wear the scrub pants I own, if I keep them under my belly (the BeBand helps to keep them from falling off, and keeps me from showing crack.) I also have a couple pairs of maternity khaki pants and one pair of black maternity pants, which aren't really my style outside of work, so I've been wearing them with a plain maternity shirt, and a scrub jacket. 

Thursday is my 20 week ultrasound (technically 19 weeks 6 days) and I am super nervous/excited. I'm beginning to get paranoid. What if the baby has no fingers? What if there is a heart problem? What if the baby's guts are still outside of its body?

And if there is a problem, I am going to blame myself. I haven't been taking my prenatal...for about 3 weeks now. Mostly they make me just a little bit nauseated (nothing that would cause me to lose my cookies) but enough to make me dread taking them. I bought folate right after I found out I was pregnant, then realized if I took my multivitamin, I was getting enough folic acid so didn't need to take the extra folate. I just yesterday pulled out the bottle. I should have done so sooner. I am probably getting enough folic acid in my diet, most of the time. I probably have nothing to worry about. I'm sure there are plenty of perfectly healthy babies out there that were born to mommies that never once took a vitamin or supplement while pregnant. But, there have been so many healthy babies born around me lately, that I feel like there is going to be a problem sometime soon. Some baby is going to be born with a defect, and knowing my luck it will probably be mine. What very dark and dreary thoughts for a pregnant lady to have. I know I'm not the first...and will not be the last.

The appointment on Thursday will settle my uncertainty, at least until the next appointment...and the next...and until the day I finally get to meet the little gummy bear...

I am so excited for Christmas this year. :D