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Friday, October 28, 2011

Another week down

On Wednesday I had my second weigh in. I had a dream the night before that I had lost 9 pounds. I felt so empowered because it put me that much closer to my goal weight. It put me at the halfway point, and so I got honored at the meeting.

In real life, I went in to get weighed and felt optimistic. I haven't really noticed a difference in the way my clothes fit, but I do feel better about myself.

So get this, I lost 2 pounds! The receptionist who weighed me made me feel really proud of my work this last week.

I have been working on choosing healthier foods and drinks, but still haven't been getting extra activity in. I didn't meet my goal from last week. I just need to work on making activity a priority.

In other news, I'm kind of under the weather right now. I lost my voice after working 12 hours on Thursday, all that talking to my patients wore it out. When I woke up I barely had a voice. Riley wasn't scared or bothered by it as I thought he would be. But I did upset him more than normal when I told him to get down off the hot dishwasher. I sound pretty gruff.

Today he started pointing at things sort of randomly. He will just stop what he is doing and point. It really is cute, but I try looking at where he is pointing, and I truly have no clue what it is I'm supposed to be looking at. I guess he is still new to this world and excited by bare patches of wall and the ceiling. ;) He continues to work on walking and standing on his own. I will set him down standing, and let go, and he will stand there for a bit before lowering himself down to the floor, or grabbing some piece of furniture. I bought him a convertible scooter/walker thing and he will push it around the house until he hits a wall or item that he can't run over. I have a video that I want to try to upload, but I don't know where the camera is right now.

Here is a tip we learned at our WW meeting this week:

Don't go crazy over Halloween candy, you can buy candy any time you want during the year. So what makes bags of Halloween candy special?

When I think about it this way, it makes it easier for me to limit my intake. I, like many people out there, experience a "special occasion" phenomenom where it makes it okay to overeat or over-indulge in high calorie foods, simply because it is a treat, or something that doesn't happen very often. Don't get me wrong, I am going to indulge every now and then. But I don't have to stuff myself to enjoy myself. Right? Who's with me? :D

I haven't bought any Halloween candy yet, last year we had 6 trick or treaters, so I'm not expecting a lot. I'm going to try and buy a small amount of candy so that it isn't there staring at me while I'm home with Riley. Although, I must say, accounting for everything that I eat does help me to think about what I'm putting in my mouth.

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

A loss

Of 1.6 pounds!

Not going to lie, I was expecting a little bit more of a loss. Mostly because I weighed myself on my home scale yesterday and I had lost nearly 5 pounds. I was slightly disappointed.

And then I sat down and the meeting was exactly what I needed to hear. The leader read a poem about a pound of fat. The message was that people tend to say "I only lost a pound." Or "it was just a pound." And saying things like that make it seem like it isn't an accomplishment. When really the weight will be lost one pound at a time. She then equated it to a puzzle, and how a person doesn't approach a puzzle thinking they will throw several pieces together at a time; instead a person approaches a puzzle with one piece at a time. Obviously I have truncated the message, but hopefully you get the idea.

I should be proud of all my hard work! :D

What worked for me this week: I made sure to keep track of my food (online and on my phone). I made sure to have lots of fruits and veggies available to me to snack on and actually ran out rather quickly. I have purchased a variety of fruits and vegetables, and have been forcing myself to eat/cook with them.

What I need to improve on: I need to work on adding activity to my daily routine. I have been doing water aerobics once a week, but this is not enough activity. Ideally I would have some sort of activity every day or at the very least, 5 days a week.

Goals for this week: I realize I need to increase my activity, but I don't want to set an unreachable goal. I want to increase my activity slowly. This week I want to add 45 minutes of activity. (on top of the water aerobics that I have already done today). I find myself having a hard time finding time when I can get away from my baby long enough to get a good workout in. But, I need to stop using him as an excuse and just get it done somehow.

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Weigh in

As I stated yesterday, I went to Weight Watchers today and signed up. Riley, my mom and I listened to the meeting and had a good time. Four years ago (when I got out of college) I started up with weight watchers with my mom. I didn't pay or go to meetings, just counted points etc with my mom. It was a way for me to help motivate her, and I also was trying to lose weight for my friend Jessie's wedding. :D I lost quite a bit of weight and was down to about 120. But I was sort of scaring myself. I wasn't eating appropriately. I wasn't starving myself exactly, but I was so focused on dessert that I would save up all of my points just so I could have a big dessert or snack. Ultimately I was not getting the appropriate nutrients in, and I got worried that I would begin to starve myself further if I stuck with it. So I stopped. Around this time I was stressed out at work, and eventually moved in with Jamaal, which made dieting even more difficult. 


I tend to get a bit competitive and strict about diets, and already I can't read enough. I'm planning what I will be eating tomorrow, down to each little snack and detail. They have an app for my phone (and an online program) that you can track your food on. So I can easily remove foods I don't eat, and add those that I spontaneously decide on eating. I think that a little planning will help me to control my portions and my snacking. 


I know a lot of my problems come on those days when I don't plan ahead. We end up eating something quick from the freezer (usually fried up crispy) or something from a drive thru. I'm embarrassed to admit that I would often rather eat fast-food than I would cook something homemade (and healthier), especially after working 12-hours. It is just so difficult to get away from my nursing baby, that even on days when I don't work, it is a challenge to get in the kitchen and cook. 


This is my vow to decrease my fast food consumption to less than once per week. I am pretty sure (though I haven't been keeping track) that we have had fast food once a week pretty regularly since Riley was born. And there were a couple times when we had it more than once in a week. (But there also were definitely weeks when we did not have any.) I know it isn't good for me, but it just tastes so good! I know my husband and myself well enough to know that cutting it out completely (at least right now) will not happen. But when we do decide to eat there, I will make better choices.


I made a goal today to lose 6 pounds over the next 8 weeks. :D I think I can, I think I can...

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

A new start!


I have recently (in the last couple weeks) started going back to water aerobics. It has been wonderful to get back into it again. I really did miss going. It isn't easy to get myself there, but once I'm in it, I am happy to be exercising again.

I have come to the conclusion that I need to lose 20 pounds. I haven't really "dieted" yet since Riley was born nearly ten(!!) months ago. Can you believe I gained 45 pounds when I was pregnant with him? The first 25 practically fell off in the first few weeks after I had him. I kept holding on to hoping that the rest of the weight would just suddenly drop off without me consciously doing anything. But I'm through living in denial. I also didn't want to risk depleting my milk supply. But now that the little Mister is older, and nearing the age of being weaned, I've decided it is time to get into better shape. And I need to do it while my body is burning up extra calories making milk.

I can barely look in the mirror without being disgusted with what I see. I find myself extremely concerned with my relationship between my husband and I, because I get worried that he is also disgusted and no longer attracted to me. While he is definitely the one wishing private time were more frequent, I know that if I were a little bit more confident and happy with my body, I would be able to enjoy our private moments a little bit more.

I'm self conscious whenever I go out in public because I don't have very many outfits that look flattering on me. And even those that do, I still feel uncomfortable in my own skin. I find myself comparing myself to the other women/ladies I see, dreaming that one day I will have body parts other women would be jealous of. ;) BUT seriously though, I do. I will be happy if I can fit in my pre-pregnancy jeans, and am 20 pounds lighter. (I could also lose 10 bonus pounds and be within a healthy weight for me, but I'm not going to push the issue...at least not yet.)

I probably will continue to envy other ladies that I see, because there will always be someone out there skinnier, prettier, funnier, etc than me, but I will work on not letting it hold me back or get me down.

So, this week, I will be starting WeightWatchers. My mom and I will be going together to help keep each other motivated. Hopefully I'll keep you all updated with my progress. But it has been close to a month since I posted last, so we'll see.

:D Here is to a healthier, happier me!