6 weeks

1/28/11
Yesterday my little man turned 6 weeks old. He's getting pretty big, I can see it in his face and thighs. I remembered a few weeks ago that the Wii Fit Plus has a setting for weighing dogs and thought that maybe it would have a similar setting for weighing babies. Today I actually acted and tried it out.

Turns out, you can. Riley weighs 9lbs 4.5oz today. This time next week I'll have a 10 pound baby I bet. I looked on a chart for weight, and he is right below the 50th percentile (which is where he was at birth.) I need to find a tape measure so I can see where he is for height. At birth he was just below the 30th percentile. I've got a little shorty on my hands. :)

1/29/11
Today is my husband's birthday. It will be a pretty low key celebration. He had to go to traffic school for a bad ticket he got last year, so he has been gone most of the day. I'll make him some brownies once the little guy lets me set him down for a nap. Tomorrow we'll go out to dinner with my family to celebrate with them. It will be the first time taking Riley to a restaurant, but I'm confident in our ability to nurse discreetly. He also has been pretty good at entertaining himself for short periods. I was amazed yesterday he nursed but was still awake once he finished. I had dishes to do, so I set him in the swing. He stared at the ceiling fan, and the mobile on his swing for at least 15-25 minutes.

Also on the agenda for tomorrow is Riley's first 5K. We will be walking, of course. Hopefully he will sleep through it, but I am a pro at nursing with him in the sling and walking. So, we will be just fine. What a way to burn extra calories: nursing and walking simultaneously! ;) I convinced my mom to join us, it will be her first. I did one last April, right before (or right after) Riley was conceived. This 5k is part of a series, and is the first of 3. My mom and I signed up for all of them. Should be fun. :)

Cards are posted!

I've updated my other blog...finally. (With two new posts).  I must admit that it is very refreshing to post there. I won't even show you how big of a mess my craft room is right now. I am ashamed to say that I can't even get in there without tripping over something. I really want to clean it up so I can get back to doing some crafting, but other things seem a bit more important right now (like blogging, and housework). I need to organize my fabric and stamps and get some shelves put up. Oh the many dreams and plans I have for that room. But for now, I'll reminisce of a time when I was able to get into my craft room to stamp...go here to reminisce with me. ;)

White Chicken Chili

Here is a super easy recipe that I've been wanting to share. It is definitely one for those of us that have busy busy lives.

White Chicken Chili
-1 package White Chicken Chili Seasoning mix by McCormick
-1 pound boneless, skinless chicken breasts
-1-15 ounce can white beans (or any other bean you have)
-1 cup water
-1-15 ounce can diced tomatoes (optional)

1. Follow directions on the Seasoning mix package.
2. Serve over rice or pasta if desired.
3. Top with shredded cheese and/or sour cream if desired.

Yum!

I have found the seasoning mix at Top Foods, I'm sure it is other places as well. I like having it on hand, since it is a really easy, hearty meal. And it only dirties one pan! I personally like it with rice, sour cream and shredded cheese. The package also says you could add a can of corn, which would probably be good as well. I like it with tomatoes.

Who's in charge here anyway?

We all know the answer to that question. Mr. Riley is in charge. I still have control over the husband, house and dogs, but still sometimes lose control of those three as well. Mr. Riley keeps up appearances and makes me think I'm in charge: I'm bigger, I speak English fluently, I am mobile, and I contain and provide his precious food source. But don't let that little cute face fool you. He is really the one calling all the shots.

Remember a few nights back when we tried co-sleeping? The little booger slept really well, just couldn't nurse lying down very well, and kept trying to sleep on his stomach which scared me half to death. So we went back to using the bassinet. Riley objects. Every time I set him down there to sleep, he wakes up after 20-30 minutes and starts crying uncontrollably. He will settle once picked up and nurses for a short period before falling asleep again. If I set him back down, the cycle continues. BUT if I set him next to me in bed, he'll sleep for 2-3-4 hours in one stretch. I don't blame him, I am pretty awesome to sleep next to, but goodness!


He won the fight last night. I warned Jamaal: If he doesn't sleep in his bassinet for longer than an hour, I'll bring him into bed with us. That way, he wouldn't be too shocked if he glanced over to find his son snoring soundly between us. I'm not sure how to get him to sleep in his bassinet. The next plan is to try taking out the "newborn napper" and put him in the main part of his Pack n' Play, maybe he is just too cramped in the "newborn napper." (The "newborn napper" is the cream colored bassinet shown in the picture; it comes out, and there is a "bassinet" below it which is just a raised up bottom, so that you don't have to reach all the way to the bottom of the play pen to lay your newborn down. It is only suitable for babies that don't stand yet.)

I have put him down to sleep today in the "newborn napper" and he has lasted as long as 1.5 hours. So it could be that his days and nights are switched, so he sleeps a bit better during the day. Therefore at night he has to be really comfortable in order to sleep for longer periods of time. Mommy and daddy's bed is just about as comfy as you can possibly get.

Jamaal offered to move his swing into the bedroom, since the little guy sleeps well in there. I might end up accepting that offer. Though eventually he will have to be able to sleep in his "bed," now I just have to convince the boss that this is the case. ;)

(The photo of Mr. Riley was taken with my phone, that is why the quality isn't the greatest. But I caught him making a pretty funny face, huh?)

Announcing...

my recipe page is finished! Want to make something you've seen here? Or just want to browse my recipes? Go to my recipe page! The link is near the top of this blog, right under my blog header, titled "Recipes."

Hope you like it. I hope I haven't missed any of my recipes. If you notice one I haven't linked up, just let me know! :D

A family bed

I knew this would happen: I break my streak then slack off on posting. It's not that I haven't thought about posting though. It seems when I finally think about it, and finally sit and relax, Riley wakes up and wants to eat, or it is simply time for me to go to bed. Right now Riley is waking up, and I am pretty tired so I think I should go to bed. I've been bad lately and have been going to bed after 2300. I put Riley down to sleep usually around 2100 or whenever his feeding is around that time, and by the time I lay down myself, it is usually time for him to feed again. The past two nights have been good as far as sleep goes. Tuesday night he went 2-3 hours between each night feeding, and I think even one time went 4 hours. I ended up with 6.5 hours of sleep myself. And when that is compared with some of the other nights where I got 3-4 hours, it was pretty good. I woke up soooo refreshed. Jamaal had Wednesday off, so I felt less guilty for getting nothing done. Riley spent most of the morning making up for lost time and nursed most of the morning. In the afternoon, I felt sleepy, so I went to lay down and nursed him in bed. It was one of the best naps ever, cuddling with my little bug. I think I slept for an hour.

Okay, I'm doing it again: writing a boring, long post. Even all of the nothing I've been up to lately seems important enough to share with the world. Let me get to the point.

During Riley's morning feeds I read the chapter in The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding on sleep. They are huge supporters of "the family bed" and have pretty convincing arguments in support of co-sleeping. Co-sleeping promotes breastfeeding, and studies have shown that mothers that co-sleep get more sleep than those that don't. After reading about it, I thought it was worth at least trying it out. I'm still torn. I don't know how it will work when I go back to work. I might work one night shift a week, so that I don't have to be gone during the day as much. What would that do to him? Would he have a hard time getting to sleep without mama to cuddle with? Also, Jamaal would probably be uncomfortable with having him in the bed with him only, so the poor little guy would be put in his crib alone. How confusing for a little man! I'm hoping that he will be able to transition okay.

Anyway, he slept next to me last night. It was nice to be able to just nurse and sleep and nurse and sleep. The only problem I have is I don't want to turn my back to him, but I don't necessarily like to sleep on my left side all night either.

I started this post last night...

Last night, again, he slept next to me. It was nice for me, but rough on Riley. He has a hard time nursing while laying down. He can't seem to latch correctly when laying down. He also is more uncomfortable after, and gets fussy afterwards. Usually it is because he needs to burp some more. Jamaal doesn't like him sleeping with us. He feels like he doesn't sleep as well. Even though Riley sleeps better and doesn't wake up fully, (and therefore nurses for shorter periods and goes back to sleep easier) I understand what he means. I'm sleeping lighter to make sure he is safe in the bed with us.

I'm concluding that at this time the family bed will not work for us. Not because of things I've mentioned above, but because of this: I find him rolling onto his stomach nearly every time I wake to nurse or check on him. Even if I push him onto his back after nursing, he will still end up on his side or stomach. This is too scary for me he could fall prone to SIDS or could suffocate. Either way, I couldn't live with myself if that happened in bed with us. I'm expecting a rough night tonight, as he probably will miss being so close to me, but I'll deal with it as it happens. This morning we slept from 0745 until 1130! It was amazing!

I think we will sleep together for naps or as needed when he is a little older, but for now, the bassinet next to my bed will have to do.

Mommy Time

On Sunday, Jamaal's day off, I decided to go get my hair cut and colored. I had prepared ahead of time by pumping 2 ounces. I instructed Jamaal how to bottle feed him according to The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding, so as to not undermine our progress with breastfeeding. I hoped that they wouldn't have to use it, because some babies have a hard time using bottles for the first time. I had to sort of kick myself out and not look back, because I was worried about how this short separation would go.

Usually a hair cut and color only takes 1.5 hours at the most, unfortunately this trip ended up being 4 hours long. The hairdresser did a good job, but took her sweet time doing it. I texted Jamaal a couple times to check in on my boys, and he said that things were going fine. He said he took the bottle fine and all was good. I kind of got upset that Riley didn't miss me. How could my little man survive without me this well, when he seems to need me so much when I'm with him?!

The stylist ended up undercharging me for the haircut and color, which kind of made the whole experience worth it. I've lucked out the last two trips to this salon. (last time I went I ended up with a "free" foil and hair cut because the guy had a hard time getting the $30 gift card I had to work. He finally voided the transaction, which voided the part he had charged on my debit card, and sent me on my way. I was never charged the rest of the total which was about $60!)

When I got home, Riley was sleeping. "Has he been sleeping the whole time?" I asked.

No. He had been screaming the whole time. Other than the time when he had the bottle, which he took like a seasoned pro. We have two different definitions of "fine," I guess. Maybe he didn't want me worrying so he stretched the truth a little. I hope that is the case. My poor guy then proceeded to sleep. I tried waking him to nurse, and he did, but not for long. He didn't seem as interested. I think he was mad at me for abandoning him. On the plus side, he slept most of the night, waking to nurse for about 20 minutes at a time (when he does usually like to nurse a little longer at night) and going straight back to sleep. Monday morning I woke up so refreshed and exhilarated. I was able to do some laundry and feel like I accomplished something. It was wonderful.

Of course Monday night, was not the same. The night started out okay, but ended poorly: we were up from 0440 until 0800. My mom and I had planned on going to Tacoma so that I could spend some of the gift cards we received from Babies R Us. I had stipulated that we would only go if Riley slept some through the night, and since that didn't happen, the plans had to change. Instead, we went to Target to return a couple things (a sweater Jamaal didn't want and a bottle warmer I didn't want), and buy a few things (like baby diapers and paper towels.)

My mom took Riley while I was returning my items. I was wandering through the store and heard his cry. I could pick him out of a line up, something I wasn't quite sure I could do before today. ;) He was not a happy man. We had hoped that he would sleep through the trip, but he was in a "I'm starving" mode prior to leaving the house. We just decided that if we let him decide when we would leave, we would never get to go. He's just like his daddy already, and hates shopping. ;) He fell asleep in the car, but it didn't take long for him to wake up in Target.

I carried him around and eventually with the help of a pacifier, he fell asleep in my arms. He wasn't too rambunctious, and was just fussing instead of screaming/crying. And I got a lot of stares/comments about how cute and small he is. I guess I never realized how much attention babies (and therefore moms) get when in public. Speaking of pacifiers, Riley doesn't really care for the one I've been using. The shape is not the same as my nipples (really the shape is not like any nipple, not exactly sure who decided to make pacifiers at an angle...but anyway...) I was in search of one that is closer to the shape of a real woman's nipples. My mom and I found one, and somehow when we checked out, the pacifiers didn't make it into either of our bags (we also did not pay for them). Not exactly sure how it happened, but I was disappointed to say the least.

By the way, my haircut was quite drastic! I was tired of having hair in the way of nursing. This will be much easier to manage! I'm already wishing it was a bit shorter, but as it is I can barely fit it in a pony tail, which is a necessary thing for me. We'll see if I get it shorter next time.

Again with the sleep

I broke my streak of posting every day. Darn. I pulled up my blog, but set my computer aside to go to sleep. I had intended on blogging once I woke up, but forgot all about it. Oh well, it had to end sometime.

The night before last was one of the hardest I've had since Riley was born. He would not sleep at all. I was exhausted and frustrated and bawling by 0700.

I've been thinking about solutions to this problem, and have decided I might try pumping sometimes and supplementing with that. If he takes bottles okay, this would help me to pass off a feeding or two. I also want to get my hair cut and colored which would be easier to do if I have some pumped milk on hand for someone else to feed him. I read part of the chapter on pumping from The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding last night, and will read the rest today. I want to know what I'm doing before I plan on actually doing it. I don't want my milk to go to waste.

From what I've read so far, if I pump correctly my supply should stay the same or possibly increase, depending on how well he is emptying me on his own already.

Even if he doesn't do well with the bottle now, it will be good for him to be introduced to it since he will eventually have to learn to like it.

Last night I got a little bit more sleep, only because I passed out with him nursing or burping a lot. I kept waking up in really uncomfortable positions, so it wasn't very relaxing sleep. Then I woke up to Jamaal putting Riley back into the swing at just after 0700. It was a very weird feeling, because I hadn't even heard Riley fuss, let alone cry. Apparently he was crying a lot, and loudly because we were in the living room, and Jamaal was in the bedroom, with the door closed. Riley was right next to me and I didn't flinch. Proof that I am extremely sleep deprived. Kind of scary, as well.

Maybe I should start sleeping in the bedroom again, so if he cries and I don't hear him, Jamaal can wake me up. Or better yet, Jamaal can change him and hand him to me. It was a nice break to be able to just feed Riley and not have to get up to clean his butt. Gotta look at the bright side.

I must admit that the night before last, when I was crying right along with Riley, I was resenting my husband sleeping comfortably in the other room. He was probably awake, though, I realize now. Even still, I find myself a bit resentful, but little things like having Jamaal change Riley this morning, make my day just that much easier.

4 weeks

One question I have is do I say he is a month old now that he is 4 weeks old? Or is he only a month old on the 16th of this month (since he was born on the 16th)? Either way, I can't believe it has been 4 weeks already!

I have a few things that I've wanted to write about, that I forgot to mention in previous posts where they would have fit in, so I will put them here on the 4 week anniversary of my babies arrival into the world.

The pain after delivery. I already talked about how delivery was pain-free because of my epidural, but that doesn't last forever. I tore a little bit, and had to have stitches. (again the epidural made getting the stitches painless, I didn't feel it at all.) But for a week or two, I was sore (down there). Night time was the worst time, probably because I was active most of the day, and didn't pay attention to the pain until I was trying to relax and go to sleep. I was the most sore when sitting (for obvious reasons). I ended up taking percocet at night a couple times to help me sleep and get comfortable, and it really did help with the discomfort I was feeling. I didn't notice any difference with Riley when I took the percocet. I definitely felt the effects though. I took ibuprofen pretty much whenever I could take the next dose for a few days. The funny thing is though, that my arms hurt more the day after Riley was born, from when I was holding up my legs while pushing. All things considered, the pain wasn't so bad that I felt like I was torn open or that I was suffering. After pushing out a large melon you would expect some pain, and I actually expected more pain than I had. Again, just another reason that I know I could do it all over again.

Circumcision. As I discussed previously, Jamaal and I decided to circumcise our son. Mostly for cosmetic reasons to be truthful. I've seen both types of penises, and I feel the circumcised ones are more attractive. Jamaal, being circumcised himself, felt that circumcision is the normal thing to have done. I just hope that my son doesn't sue me for cutting off his foreskin when he had no say in the matter. It ended up being a pretty expensive procedure, that insurance doesn't cover. We had it done when he was 11 days old. I had every intention of staying in the room with him, but as the medical assistant was explaining the procedure, I began to tear up. Again, I blame the hormones. I decided that it would be better if I stepped out. My doctor said that even though he screamed through most of it, he didn't think it was related to pain, but related more to Riley being held down on a board to keep him still. I did notice, however, for a few days after that he seemed a bit more sensitive during diaper changes. The end result is a fully healed and circumcised penis. No infection or complication.

Child rearing. I must admit that I have an intense fear of parenting. I'm super nervous that I'll make a mistake that will scar Riley for life. I hope that I don't create a serial killer or rapist. Or a son that kills his parents in a violent teenage rage. Even though I realize that at the moment discipline isn't really an issue, I am setting the stage right now with his sleep cycle and feedings. I hope to end up with a son that respects me and generally enjoys my company (and visa-versa.). I really want to enjoy my son and have fun raising him, but know that there will be hard parts too, that might not be as enjoyable as I'd like. I'm sure most new parents (and even seasoned pros) have some similar fears.

The girls and Riley. When Bella met Riley she was very interested in him. She wanted to sniff him all over, and lick his ears and face. She wagged her tail and was very excited. Bacardi, on the other hand, growled at him. It was very scary. Next to Riley she looked so much bigger, and for the first time looked dangerous to me. She didn't show her teeth or do much more than growl. But it was very nerve racking. Bella is still the same. She isn't as excited as she was before, but she still tries to smell him and will lick his face and ears. Bacardi has improved. She too, now tries to lick his face and ears. She will still bark or growl at him, but only when he is crying/screaming. She also doesn't usually growl or bark at him very close to him, she is usually at least a couple feet away when she does it. I think they will be his best best friends when he gets older. Something I've found is that while dog hair is very unattractive on my clothing and furniture, it is an abomination on a newborn. I will never own a dog that sheds again. I hate picking Bacardi hairs off of Riley's lips/face. I know it will only get worse when he gets mobile.

Woman's Daybook

I've been feeling a bit frustrated with my blogging lately. The things I write don't come out the way I want them to. That hasn't stopped me from blogging like crazy, though. ;)

In an effort to help get my thoughts straight, I will simplify my posts with The Simple Woman's Daybook



Outside my window...it is raining and the snow is melting.


I am thinking...about what I want to eat for lunch.


I am thankful for...a healthy baby and 16 weeks of maternity leave.


From the kitchen...I just realized that I cannot make the homemade pizza that I was planning on making, because I forgot to buy the mozzarella cheese. Darn it!


I am wearing...yoga pants and a pink maternity shirt. I will probably add a sweatshirt here soon.


I am creating...a digital scrapbook of my little man.


I am going...to eat lunch, then give my baby a bath; after he eats, then I'll take a shower.


I am reading...other people's blogs. I sometimes pick up The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding and read bits I'm curious about.


I am hoping...my son becomes a productive member of society and does not become a serial killer.


I am hearing...the baby swing and a DVR'd version of Private Practice.


Around the house...I need to do laundry.


One of my favorite things...giving Riley a bath. (which he is due for today.) :D


A few plans for the rest of the week: I would like to get my hair cut and colored, but we'll see if that ever happens. Otherwise I plan on trying to get some sleep this week.

Here is picture for thought I am sharing...Riley in a puppy hat and outfit. He's saying "But mom! I want to eat now, I don't want to swing!"

Sweets and treats

I didn't get very much sleep last night, and only kind of napped this morning. Riley, however sleeps just fine during the day. Last night he would fall asleep while nursing, I would burp him and he would still be sleeping. After I would lay him down, however, he would wake up. I let him fuss for a bit, but each time he would start to cry and scream so I would pick him up and he would show signs of wanting to nurse. It was definitely a rough night. I ended up falling asleep while burping him this morning at 0600.

I'm guessing there will be a lot of blog posts about sleep, because already I've talked about it nearly every day I've posted this year. I apologize in advance.

In other news I've been doing a lot of baking/making of sweets of late. One thing I made before Christmas was Cream Cheese Banana bread. I found the recipe here. (and I don't think she wants me to re-post the recipe, so you will just have to go there to see it.)

The only thing I have to warn you about is that the recipe calls for self rising flour. I personally do not have this, and unfortunately I forgot that it was different than all purpose flour. If you also do not carry self rising flour, you can make your own by using the following conversion:

1 cup of self rising flour= 1 cup of all purpose/plain flour minus 2 tsp., and add 1-1/2 tsp. baking powder and 1/2 tsp. salt to make the full cup. 

For this recipe instead of 3 c. self rising flour you would use:
2-7/8 c. all purpose flour (which is the same as 3 c. minus 2 Tbsp.) (Or just use 3c. and not care about the extra 2 Tbsp and risk having it be just a touch dry)
4-1/2 tsp. baking powder
1-1/2 tsp. salt

I forgot about this conversion and had already put in the 3 c. all purpose flour, so I added the salt and baking powder after I was done mixing. I over mixed my dough, so it ended up being a bit crumbly and dry. I will remake this and see if it is less dry with less flour and less mixing. It did have a good flavor though. I made one loaf with nuts and one with mini chocolate chips. Both were lovely. :D

I have more recently made a pumpkin pie, vanilla ice cream, and chocolate chip cookies. I'm married to someone with as big of a sweet tooth as I have. It will be hard to lose the extra 7-10 pounds of baby weight with treats readily available, but I'll begin working on that soon.

I got Zumba Fitness for our x-box Kinect for Christmas. I haven't tried it yet, because I wasn't supposed to do too much heavy exercising. My midwife said to let my lochia get my guide when it comes to activity. If it increases, I'm doing too much. I do notice an increase when I am more active, especially when Riley and I leave the house. My lochia is nearly gone now though so I will probably try it soon. I never realized how long lochia (bleeding after delivery) sticks around after having a baby. Thankfully it was only heavy for like 4 days after delivery and has been light ever since.

I don't see myself restraining from cookies and ice cream in the near future. They taste too darn good to me right now. :D

Please do not be offended

This post really might offend some people. I apologize in advance.

Something I've learned about having a newborn is what accessories are necessary and what ones aren't. I had 3 baby showers. One with my family and friends, one with Jamaal's side of family and friends (I thought a lot more of his family and friends would come, so I separated them. If I would have known only 9 people were going to go, I wouldn't have separated them. You live and you learn.) and one at my work. I registered at Target and Baby's R Us. For the most part, though, I received clothes.

Don't get me wrong, clothes are necessary, we sometimes go through 3-4 outfits a day. (on a very bad day). But usually go through 2 outfits. Since the outfits are pretty small I usually do a load of all of his clothes and blankets, etc. 1-2 times a week depending on how big the load is getting. I will throw in my nursing bras and camis with his clothes too. Since I use special soap for his clothes, I don't like to waste it (and it smells like him which makes me smile). We have about 10 outfits that fit him right now. Which is just about perfect. I'm glad most people gave larger sizes of clothes. Newborn size clothes were a necessary item for him, only because I had him early. But most newborns don't fit in newborn size clothes for as long as they have fit him.

Clothes are a necessary item, of course. However, when you receive 2-4 (or more) outfits from each person, you begin to have loads and loads of clothes. I have given clothes only as a gift before Riley, and I now know that I will not be doing this again. Clothes are fun to shop for, so I understand the reason for people to want to give clothing, but most people receive second hand clothing as I did, and don't really need a ton of clothes.

From now on, I will limit myself to one outfit, and something else on the baby's registry. Even if it is something as boring as q-tips or laundry detergent. And maybe I won't even give clothes, if I find something  on the registry that is a little bit more expensive that I know was something I wanted/needed right away. Also, if I can't find anything on the registry within my price range, I will give a gift card along with the one outfit I've allotted myself.

Of course I am thankful for any gift we received. I do not judge or disapprove of anyone who gifted several outfits. I have been guilty of this before. And he will look absolutely adorable in each and every one of them. I also know that people do not have to give anything at all, and I am very fortunate to have received any gifts. But if I were to choose between 2 gifts containing clothes and 1 gift of some other necessary item, I know I would choose the latter.

You're my inspiration

I watched Julie and Julia the other day and was inspired to blog a bit more. That is why I've been blogging every day since the 6th of this month.


It also made me want to get Mastering the Art of French Cooking and try making some of the recipes I saw in the movie. I'm sure that I wouldn't make too many of the recipes, as I'm sure many of the recipes are a bit more labor intensive than I prefer. I'm also sure that some of the ingredients might not appeal to the husband or me (or both), and therefore would not be made. But, I would still like to have the book in my arsenal of cook books.

If you haven't seen the movie, you really need to. I laughed. I cried. I drooled.

Speaking of drool, my drooling bug is stretching and groaning, which means that soon he will be awake and fussing for boob juice. I better get to him. Then it is dishes time (the husband got out the last of the homemade ice cream and at that last night, so cookies were not made. And since I didn't have to do dishes, I sat on my butt instead.) Can you tell I got some sleep last night? :D I think the poor guy has reflux and doesn't like to be very flat for sleep. I put him in his swing, and we had like 2-3 hours of sleep at a time. Most of the time I didn't even have the swing on. I slept on the couch next to him, which was much more comfortable than our recliner chair. My back doesn't feel like I slept on rocks.

Happy Monday to you!

Sleepy mama

Last night Riley woke up at 0200, and didn't get to sleep again until 0800. Well, that isn't exactly true. He napped for about 30 minutes at one point, and I'm sure he probably rested well while nursing pretty much the entire time. Growth spurt perhaps? On the plus side, he didn't wake up again until 1140, so I got a good 3+ hours of sleep in. Then I napped for about 2 hours from 1200 to 1430. I am hoping that tonight he sleeps a bit more than that. I am very thankful that my husband was home today to help me with his diaper changes. It is silly, but I really don't enjoy changing his diapers. Nursing him isn't that bad to me, even though I have to get positioned comfortably and usually have to get out of bed to do so. Changing his diaper is not that difficult really...but when you do it about 10 times a day (sometimes more if he decides to pee or poo mid change.) it gets old fast. Jamaal hasn't had to change that many diapers because 1.) he works during the day; 2.) I do all the feedings at night, and it doesn't make sense to make him get up just to change his diaper especially because of #1.

I make a point to ask him to do a couple diaper changes when he has a day off, or when he is home after working during the day. (Though I wait to ask him to change Riley only after he has had a chance to relax some after working.)

Jamaal did all of the diaper changes today except for the one I did before and after his bath. After very little sleep, this was such a blessing.

Jamaal has been such a help around the house. He has been doing laundry and has cleaned both bathrooms. He also does the dishes sometimes as well. I have not done very much housework yet. I have done the dishes a couple times. And I have cooked dinner nearly every night (which sometimes is a huge chore). But I often don't have tons of spare time to myself to get things done. I'm getting better, though not getting enough sleep at night doesn't help me to get chores done.

Well, Jamaal would like some cookies, but before that can happen, dishes need to be done, so I better get on that. ;)

Just because.

The socks stayed on just through this picture. I think socks/shoes are pointless in newborns. He kicks them off almost immediately. They will only stay on when he's sleeping and even then he sometimes kicks them off. I have a drawer full of socks/shoes that will probably remain in the drawer....

Examining my fertility

When I pushed Riley's shoulders and body out, I made some of the only noise I made during labor and delivery. It was such a relief of pressure that it deserved a good sigh/moan. I made sure to tell my mom that it wasn't that I was in pain, because it didn't hurt (since I had such a good epidural). It just simply seemed like the right thing to do at the time, and helped to release some of the pressure. After they stole him away to be weighed, measured, and cleaned up a bit, I thought to myself: "I could do this again." I was amazed that I felt that way. Sure, the heartburn sucked A LOT. Sure, I really didn't enjoy being a Gestational Diabetic. But all of that didn't matter to me anymore, and I would truly do it all again in a heartbeat.

Logically, I know that I should wait at least a year to allow my uterus and body to heal fully. I also know that the exhaustion I feel now would be dramatically worse with two little ones. But would you believe that I've considered what it would be like to get pregnant again? I'm crazy. I blame the hormones. Financially, we wouldn't be able to do it. I wouldn't be able to have much time off with the second babe, and how sad would that be to have to go back to work within 6 weeks of birth?! Also, if it was less than a year, I wouldn't qualify for any time off because FMLA is only allowed once within a year. (However, I'm sure they make exceptions to that rule for maternity leave.) I can't believe I'm even discussing this...

This all leads me to my two-week postpartum check up. Basically I went in to talk with my midwife, she did no examination. One of the first things she said to me was: "What are you going to do for birth control?"

My gut reaction was: "How dare you ask me that!" I didn't say that out loud of course, but I was actually offended. Me, the pro-choice, lover of medicinal forms of birth control was offended. I shocked myself. I never thought that I would feel this way about birth control. Again, I blame the hormones.

Realistically, I know that if we don't use some form of birth control, I'll have a newborn again in 10 more months. At least there is a huge risk of that happening. It was simply too easy to conceive Riley.

After pausing to get my head straight, I finally told her I didn't know what we would do for birth control. So, she reviewed our options:

Condoms. Since I hate the smell, and they are a bit of an inconvenience, we do not do well with these. Case and point: Riley. We should have used a condom the night he was conceived, I knew there was a chance, but thought there was no way it would happen that night. We all know what came of that decision. (Only the cutest little boy in the world!)

Progesterone-only Birth Control Pills. These are extremely time sensitive. I barely remember when the last time I ate or peed, let alone whether I took a pill or not. I used to set an alarm on my phone, but even then would sometimes take a little bit to take the pill. Sometimes hours.

Arm fat implant. Please excuse my description, I can't remember what this was actually called, but ultimately it is a rod that is inserted under the skin in the upper arm. I am weirded out by having something inserted there, especially since I plan on working out a bit and trying to tone up my upper arms. I don't know how that would feel to have a rod in my arm while doing push ups. It might not feel different, but I don't much care to find out. One perk to this type, however, is the cessation of menstruation. (I think...)

Depo-Provera. Hormonal injections. My midwife wasn't a big fan of this option. She doesn't recommend it for the long term, I forget the exact reason for that. But she said there is a huge risk of gaining 20 pounds in less than a year with this option. But it is a good option if used only while breastfeeding and transitioning to estrogen containing BCPs after weaning. She had some other disadvantages that I can't remember now. The risk of gaining 20 pounds is enough of a turn off for me.

IUD. (Intra-uterine device) This is something I considered using prior to going to this appointment. It is one of the easiest methods of birth control, since it is inserted and can stay in for 5-10 years depending on the brand. It is pretty effective at 99.9%, and one of the brands gets rid of menstruation. Which, let's face it, is kind of a gift! ;) Ultimately I decided on this one.

My logical side knows that I have to use some sort of birth control, and my impulse control is not so good that we can rely on NFP. At least not for the immediate future, only once I'm really ready for another child can we use NFP. Because that is technically what we were using when Riley was conceived. I do realize that at the time, we wanted to get pregnant eventually. And that we had very superficial reasons to prevent pregnancy at the time: I wanted to avoid a December/Holiday birthday. I know that now, our reasons to prevent pregnancy are much weightier: it isn't good for my uterus to go through pregnancy again prior to a year postpartum; financially I won't have benefits to cover my leave; and of course how physically exhausting it would be to be pregnant with an infant in tow. So I do realize that it might be a bit easier for us to prevent pregnancy using condoms and NFP, but I honestly don't trust myself. I want another baby far too much. I know that in the back of my mind I will think how wonderful it would be to have another little one, even though my logical side knows how crazy I'm being.

Do you follow me? Again I blame hormones if you don't. ;)

Well, I went to schedule my appointment to have an IUD inserted. She likes to do it at 8 weeks postpartum when the uterus has hardened up enough that the risk of her puncturing my uterus (!) when the IUD is inserted, is decreased. They wouldn't let me schedule an appointment, because it is something that needs to be pre-approved by insurance. That meant that they would call me to schedule the appointment. But of course, it isn't that easy. The Mirena (the hormonal form of the IUD) costs about $850, and the insertion costs $180, and my insurance will cover it at 85% after I meet my $250 deductible. So, that means it will end up being about $377.50 total. They do accept payment plans, and I do have a flexible spending account for health care, so I would get the money right back after I submit the appropriate paperwork. But it is very upsetting how expensive it will be. I haven't called to schedule my appointment yet. But I think I will on Monday. Logically, $400 is cheaper than getting pregnant again soon.

We are allowed to have sex again at 6 weeks post-partum, that leaves 2 weeks in between insertion where we could get pregnant. I am clinically insane and sort of hope that we do...

Much ado about Nothing

I have about 50 topics that I want to write about and I think about them when I'm not in front of my computer, but once I turn it on and sit down, they all leave my brain. I'm going to need to get a notebook to write my ideas down when I'm thinking about them.
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So many things have happened since Riley was born. And yet, nothing much has happened. We do a lot of nothing these days. I'm working on figuring out how to have time to do other things except feed and change my little man.

Sleep. Last night was the first night where Riley went 3 hours in between most of his feeds. That translates to mama getting 8.5 hours of broken up sleep. It was amazing. Every time he woke me up I smiled when I saw how long it had been since we had last fed. I have very little faith that it will happen again tonight, but it was nice to have a break from 1.5 hours in between feeds. (Remember that that means from start of one feeding to the start of the next. Most of the time he takes 30 minutes to eat and burp, but sometimes takes a bit longer or shorter depending on how he is feeling at that moment [or whether his mama fell asleep while nursing or burping him ;)] That leaves only an hour in between where mom is allowed to sleep, and while most of the time she can fall asleep right away, sometimes it could take her as long as 15 minutes to lose consciousness. Therefore, that leaves her with 45 minutes of sleep at a time. Sometimes a bit less, sometimes a bit more. But ultimately not enough to feel rested.) If there is one thing I know about myself, it is that I do not do well with very little sleep. I'm not the nicest person when sleep deprived, let's just leave it at that.

Nursing. The boy surely loves to eat. And with all that eating comes a lot of pooping and peeing. And sleeping. He is currently trying to wake up from one of his many milk comas. It has been 2 hours, and therefore might be time again to feed. I've been lucky, we haven't had any problem with nursing. He is proof of that fact, at 5 days old (the earliest we could get in to the MD to be seen) he had gained an ounce, and was 6lbs 9 ounces. At 12 days old he weighed 6lbs 14 oz, and today at 22 days old he is 7lbs 12oz. I am so proud of the fact that I am the reason he is growing. Even still, I selfishly want him to stay little-tiny forever. Pretty soon I won't be able to dress him in his newborn clothes, and will have to move into size 1 diapers. Sigh. Back to nursing...While nursing is sometimes stressful, I am thankful that I am capable to provide for my son. It is so much more difficult to go on errands now. Remember he sometimes only goes 1.5 hours in between feedings, which we figured out above leaves mommy 45 minutes of free time, that means pack him up and run for the car. Speed to the desired location and cross your fingers that he might go longer than 1.5 hours. Otherwise, scope out a place to sit down and feed him. I have only nursed him in the doctor's waiting room and the movie theater, thus far. Mostly because I haven't travelled much with him yet. Today we went grocery shopping and he thankfully slept through the entire ordeal. (Which took 2 hours! What was I doing for 2 hours!? I guess Walmart isn't the best place for me to go grocery shopping, because I get lost in the aisles. But I was able to get some more nursing bras and camis at the same time as getting groceries which saved me a stop.)

As I said before, he is now mostly awake at 2.5 hours, so it is time to start the cycle all over again. Maybe I'll come back for more later. ;)

Our New Arrival

Riley Oliver Neagle

December 16th at 12:59pm

6lbs 8 ounces

18-3/4" long

Birth story:

December 15th at 1900, I was just finishing dinner, sitting on the couch, when I felt a little teensie gush. I thought for a minute, and went to the bathroom. I've heard of people peeing their pants later on in pregnancy. I went to the bathroom, and as I was washing my hands, I felt more fluid leaking out. I yelled to Jamaal: "I think my water just broke." He was a little flustered and didn't really believe me at first. I was a bit flustered as well, and couldn't remember what we were supposed to do. Jamaal told me to call, so I did.

The midwife called back rather quickly. She took some history, looked up my Group B Strep results (I was negative) and told me I could go in whenever I wanted. My mom's first labor started very similarly: her water broke first, then she had some contractions, and in 3 hours she gave birth to my brother. I was nervous that that might happen to me, and I didn't want my son to be born in a moving vehicle. So, after showering and finishing up packing a few things, we left for the hospital. My mom and his mom and brother met us there.

At 2145, I was checked for the very first time and was 2-3cm and 50% effaced. My contractions were just starting, and were maybe as bad as menstrual cramping. They barely hurt. They put me on and off the monitors to check his heart rate and my contractions, in between being on the monitor I would get up and walk around my room. And bounced on a birthing ball. Meanwhile getting grossed out at how much fluid was leaking out of me. Eventually one of the nurses gave me one of the ginormous pads for after the birth, which helped me to not have to change my pad every hour or two. (The ginormous pads might as well be called Attends. I swear, I didn't know they made pads that big.)

My contractions didn't really go anywhere, so the midwife ordered me to take Cytotek (a pill) to help my cervix to dilate and my contractions to start. They gave me a half of a dose, as I was hoping to go pretty naturally. Shortly after I took that, I got tired (it was 3 am at this point), and went to sleep. Elf was just starting when I went to sleep and it just ending when I woke up, so I slept for about 2 hours.

Unfortunately, I was in a "triage room" and only had one bed in the room. That left Jamaal, and our Moms (his brother left just after midnight) without sleep. Jamaal slumped forward in a chair and got a little bit of sleep, but it was not very good rest. After 0700 our day nurse brought in a mat for him, which he only got to use for about 1-2 hours. I don't know why the night nurse didn't bring one in for us....I'm hoping it is because there weren't any available.

At 0700, our moms left to the cafeteria to eat and relax. It was right after they left, that I noticed my contractions were getting a lot worse. I was having a hard time relaxing, I found myself writhing in the bed, trying to get comfortable. By 0915, I had decided to get an epidural. I realized that I was panicking: if it hurts this bad now, how will it be in an hour? How will it be during the birth? I hadn't really complained at all about my contractions: they could tell in my face when I was having one, but I wasn't making much noise with them. After I went to the bathroom, and realized how uncomfortable I was, I went to my bed, and called my nurse. I told her I wanted to be checked to see if it was too late for an epidural. She asked if there was a certain point that if I made it that far, I would just keep going (that way she could encourage me one way or another). I wanted the epidural no matter what. I was 6cm dilated at that point.

The anesthesiologist was in the room within 5 minutes. It was at this point that my day nurse went on break to pump, and an older nurse came in to cover for her. It seems that she doesn't do patient care as much as she used to, or she is just kind of a flighty lady. Or perhaps both. The RN offered to put in my IV, but he wanted to get stuff moving along. (And I think he knew that if he let her start the IV, he would be waiting around for much longer than if he started it himself.) He had kind of a "time is money" attitude, whereas she had a much more relaxed way of thinking. She was making his job much harder than it had to be. Because of the contractions, I didn't really feel the IV get put in. He did a good job. Even though he seemed a bit rushed, he was really a nice guy, and I could tell that he was good at what he did. He sort of looked like House, but didn't have the attitude.

Once the IV was in, he had me dangle over the edge of the bed. I was really nervous about this part, which took way longer than I thought it would. Even though I know I was having contractions, I was so focused on what was going on behind me, that I didn't really care about them. It was very uncomfortable getting the epidural, at one point it felt like he was plucking strings on my back that were somehow connected to my spinal cord.

Once the epidural was in, things seemed to move really quickly. I got a new nurse (my third), since I was now laboring and needed a labor nurse. They didn't have a labor room available, so I stayed in the triage room to deliver. The only thing they needed to get to make it ready for delivery was a baby warmer. (Once they found an unused warmer and brought it to my room, another nurse tried to come and take it thinking a triage patient would not need to have a warmer. When she asked if she could take it about 5 people yelled "No! We need that!")

They left me on the monitors since I couldn't get up anyway, and his heart rate kept going down with contractions. At first the nurse just said it was normal decelerations associated with his head getting compressed with the contractions. But after a while his heart rate would decelerate (go down) and take a while to come back up, which concerned my nurses. They tried changing my position, (something I remember my maternity instructor calling "rotisserie labor,") but this only worked for a little bit. After the first big position change, I met my 4th and 5th nurse. This was at 1100. (The reason I got two nurses is that one of them was relatively new to nursing and worked at Enumclaw hospital (which only has like 4 beds total for labor and delivery) so she was at St. Joe's to get more experience with labor and delivery. At Enumclaw she might have one delivery during a shift, maybe. At St. Joe's they have several deliveries every day. She was nice. But because I was worried about things, I wasn't up to chit chat much, and she was trying to get me to talk. I was very worried that I was going to have to have a cesarean, and even more worried that there was something wrong with my baby.

Eventually the new nurse decided to try holding the heartbeat monitor a little tighter, and see if that helped keep his heart rate up, and it did! So all that worrying really was just the monitor not picking up his heart beat. Really once the epidural was started things seemed to really pick up. I don't remember it being very long before I was pushing, but I do know that it was over 3 hours before he was born after the epidural was started.

Just after noon, it was time to start pushing. My epidural had worn off just enough that I had good use of my legs, but couldn't feel much in my abdomen or pelvis. They kept telling me that I was a really good pusher, but it was really hard for me to tell if I was pushing or not. I ended up pushing for 40 minutes. I was getting cheered on, but near the end I kept thinking to myself that they were lying to me. They got out a mirror to give me some inspiration, but it really didn't help me much. It just made me more of a non-believer, because it didn't look like he was moving very much to me. ;) It was a lot easier for me to have my eyes closed during the pushing, though so I didn't really look in the mirror very much.

We (my mom, MIL and nurses) had talked about how it felt to finally get the head and body out, and really there is no relief quite like it. Emotions aside, it really was quite a relief to get to that point. I am SO thankful for a successful vaginal delivery. :D

I found out after he was born, that he was in a very difficult position to push out. Had he been much bigger, or had I not opted for the epidural, I probably would have had a cesarean.

Riley was placed on my chest right after delivery, and we stared at each other for quite some time before he was taken to be weighed and measured. We did not nurse right away, which goes against everything I read about (and was told) prior to delivery. Since I had gestational diabetes, he was at high risk of having a low blood sugar, and early and frequent nursing helps to prevent this. I was too nervous to try to do it myself, and no one helped to get him to latch on. I'm not too upset by this, and didn't really think about it much at the time, only now, as I'm writing this did I think much about it. He barely cried, and did a lot of grunting. He is still about the same, he makes a lot of noise, but doesn't cry too much.

Food never tasted so good as that first meal after delivery. I had a grilled cheese and fries, fruit and strawberry ice cream. Mostly carbs of course. I didn't eat it all, but it was scrumptious.

Everything else went pretty smoothly. His blood sugars and temperatures were normal. He passed his hearing screening (after having to recheck his right ear). And he successfully peed and pooped within 24 hours of being born.

Nursing has been natural for us. It is exhausting, which is my only complaint. I have had moments of despair when I think how much easier it would be to formula feed, and how much more sleep I might have if I could pass off a feeding or two to someone else. These thoughts are even stronger those nights that he wants to feed every hour and a half. Sometimes he feeds for as long as 45 minutes and still might want to feed again in 45 minutes. I am able to fall asleep rather quickly, but 45 minutes of sleep isn't enough for me to feel rested. My midwife told me that I need to get 8 hours of sleep, especially when it is in short bursts like it has been. I was fine for the first couple weeks, but earlier this week, when he started fussing after only 30 minutes, I started crying. I moved into the living room and nursed him in the recliner chair and slept with him on my chest. This seems to help me get more rest, but I am concerned that he might get spoiled and want to sleep only when held.

I will post some more later, right now I have a fussy baby with an open mouth waiting for my services. I mostly just wanted to get this written out. If you made it this far, thanks for reading. ;)