Three more months and I will have a one year old. He will probably be toddling or close to it by then. For as long as he has been crawling, he has been pulling himself up to standing on the furniture, or in his crib. If there is something on the ground he will try to use it to get him to standing. He is now starting to let go of the objects and stand independently for seconds at a time. Once he realizes what he is doing, he will either sit down, fall down, or re-grab the surface he used to stand up with. I can't believe it. When he first starting pulling himself up, he was so wobbly I thought he would never learn to walk. :D (Of course I knew it would happen eventually, but he looked so unsteady I couldn't imagine him mastering it in the near future.)
Now, he is quickly moving around our coffee table, transferring from the table to the couches, and back again. It is quite exhausting just watching the little guy move around and around and around. :D
Today, I took him in for his 9-month check up. I've been worried about this appointment for a while now. I know I have a small baby. I know he isn't gaining weight like most babies his age do. But I also know that he is healthy, and acts normal, and is a happy little guy. So I was worried that my doctor would recommend testing to figure out if there is something causing him to gain weight slowly. I would be hesitant to do any tests at this time, especially since they would most likely just conclude that I have a small baby. So, my son would go through testing (and therefore pain, discomfort and/or annoyance) for no reason. If there was any telling sign of some sort of problem, then I would agree to tests, but he is an otherwise healthy little man.
So, as the medical assistant weighed him and found him to be 13 pounds 15.5 ounces, my heart dropped. At his eight month weigh in, he was 14 pounds 5 ounces. Left alone in the exam room, I stared at the scale thinking I needed to weigh him again. That weight just could not be right. When the doctor came in, she plotted his weight on his growth chart, she noted how small he was, then slowly realized he had lost weight from his previous weigh in. As the patient, or the patient's mother it is easy to forget that the doctor doesn't always remember every detail about every patient they encounter. She did a full exam on him and after I got his fresh diaper on, she looked at the scale.
"Let's check the scale, and make sure it is balanced" she said. You know I had my fingers crossed, hoping it wasn't. It is an old type scale, one that has a bar you have to level by moving the markers to the correct weight. She adjusted the scale, and sure enough, it wasn't balanced. He really weighed 14 pounds 12 ounces! Relief washed over me. He did not gain very much (only 7 ounces in a month), but he gained. And at this point I would take a gain of anything over a loss. He eats breast milk, formula and solid food daily. I give him formula when he nurses on both sides and still seems a bit hungry. And since I've known he is a small baby, I want him to get as many calories as I can shove down his throat. ;)
Then my doctor and I talked about how difficult it is to get extremely active babies to gain weight, as he is burning up the calories right as I give them to him. Most of the time he is wiggling even while eating. She cleared him to be seen next at his year check up for shots and an exam. But said I could come in to weigh him between now and then. I'm not happy, with the results, but I am relieved. I'm encouraged that he gained 7 ounces this month (which is 2 ounces more than the previous month). I'm going to shoot for a 10 ounce (or more!) gain for next month. If only it were as difficult for me to gain weight...haha!
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Thursday, September 1, 2011
Inspired
Last night I finished reading The Help. It left me feeling so jittery, and inspired, and thankful, all at the same time. It was 11 pm and I was tired, so I went to bed, and proceeded to lay there with my mind going 100 mph. Jamaal's breathing slowed and became rhythmic after only 20 minutes or so, and I was left alone with my thoughts. He rarely falls asleep before I do, and I am not a fan.
At just before 1 am I finally drifted off, but it was short lived. Riley woke up at 1:15, and since I was basically still awake, I got up to nurse him back to sleep. He didn't seem as though he was going to let up and fall asleep anyway. It didn't take long to get him back to sleep, but those thoughts were back to torment me again. After getting up to wash my face, and a few rounds of angry birds I finally felt my eyes become heavy and off to sleep I went.
For some reason Riley woke up again at 4:30, I'm hopeful that he is going through a growth spurt, my little man needs to get bigger. By 5 I was back in bed, and quickly asleep. I should be thankful, that for the past month, I have been getting regular sleep of 4-8 hour stretches. I can't even remember the days when he would sleep for 1-3 hours at a time. Last night I was reminded what it used to be like, but not nearly as bad as it was back then. If I could have shut off my mind, I would have gotten a lot more sleep.
It seems strange to me, but after reading the book, I became inspired to write one of my own. I know myself well enough to know that I will not follow through on this. After starting as a nurse 4 years ago, I had a brilliant idea to start a book on being a nurse. I wanted to encourage new nurses that it gets better. That there is a light at the end of the tunnel. After 9 months of working, I finally felt some confidence. I finally would make it through a week without crying while at work. I finally was able to enjoy my coworkers, my patients, their families and my personality was finally coming through. Prior to that I was so focused on my tasks that I had no energy left to enjoy it.
I wrote little snippets here and there when the ideas struck me. But my inspiration quickly dissipated and I stopped. I don't even know if I have my notes anymore.
Last night the inspiration returned. This time though, I wanted to share stories of the people I have encountered at work. I have met some wonderful people. They are the ones that make me feel honored to be a nurse. When working with them, I don't feel the burden of my job, but I feel blessed to have been a part of their life, and them a part of mine.
But I've also worked with some extremely difficult patients and their families. And of course it is these situations that float up to the top. They are the ones that leave me with a bad taste in my mouth. And I wonder if they were to read about how rude, inconsiderate, and selfish they have been, would they make a change? Would it help others if they knew just what exactly it is like to be the nurse caring for difficult patients? Maybe, "please" and "thank you" would come out just a little bit more.
I literally stood outside the door of one particularly difficult patient's room and thought to myself: "It is not worth losing your job over." I wanted so badly to yell back at her, and tell her how rude she was being to everyone that had worked with her. But I knew that just would not be appropriate. Instead, I asked to get a different patient at 3pm, and passed her off to a different nurse. 8 hours of working with her was just too much time for me.
I think I will start trying to jot down notes as they come to me. But I doubt I will ever end up with a published book. There are so many logistics related to patient privacy and confidentiality, that I don't know if I would be allowed to publish it anyway.
If you haven't read The Help yet, I suggest you do it. It was a very easy read, and if I did not have housework, work and a baby to look after, I would have finished reading it the day I bought it. I would have stayed up through the night reading if I could. I plan on writing a bit more on the book itself someday, but for now I must attend to a screaming, tired babe.
At just before 1 am I finally drifted off, but it was short lived. Riley woke up at 1:15, and since I was basically still awake, I got up to nurse him back to sleep. He didn't seem as though he was going to let up and fall asleep anyway. It didn't take long to get him back to sleep, but those thoughts were back to torment me again. After getting up to wash my face, and a few rounds of angry birds I finally felt my eyes become heavy and off to sleep I went.
For some reason Riley woke up again at 4:30, I'm hopeful that he is going through a growth spurt, my little man needs to get bigger. By 5 I was back in bed, and quickly asleep. I should be thankful, that for the past month, I have been getting regular sleep of 4-8 hour stretches. I can't even remember the days when he would sleep for 1-3 hours at a time. Last night I was reminded what it used to be like, but not nearly as bad as it was back then. If I could have shut off my mind, I would have gotten a lot more sleep.
It seems strange to me, but after reading the book, I became inspired to write one of my own. I know myself well enough to know that I will not follow through on this. After starting as a nurse 4 years ago, I had a brilliant idea to start a book on being a nurse. I wanted to encourage new nurses that it gets better. That there is a light at the end of the tunnel. After 9 months of working, I finally felt some confidence. I finally would make it through a week without crying while at work. I finally was able to enjoy my coworkers, my patients, their families and my personality was finally coming through. Prior to that I was so focused on my tasks that I had no energy left to enjoy it.
I wrote little snippets here and there when the ideas struck me. But my inspiration quickly dissipated and I stopped. I don't even know if I have my notes anymore.
Last night the inspiration returned. This time though, I wanted to share stories of the people I have encountered at work. I have met some wonderful people. They are the ones that make me feel honored to be a nurse. When working with them, I don't feel the burden of my job, but I feel blessed to have been a part of their life, and them a part of mine.
But I've also worked with some extremely difficult patients and their families. And of course it is these situations that float up to the top. They are the ones that leave me with a bad taste in my mouth. And I wonder if they were to read about how rude, inconsiderate, and selfish they have been, would they make a change? Would it help others if they knew just what exactly it is like to be the nurse caring for difficult patients? Maybe, "please" and "thank you" would come out just a little bit more.
I literally stood outside the door of one particularly difficult patient's room and thought to myself: "It is not worth losing your job over." I wanted so badly to yell back at her, and tell her how rude she was being to everyone that had worked with her. But I knew that just would not be appropriate. Instead, I asked to get a different patient at 3pm, and passed her off to a different nurse. 8 hours of working with her was just too much time for me.
I think I will start trying to jot down notes as they come to me. But I doubt I will ever end up with a published book. There are so many logistics related to patient privacy and confidentiality, that I don't know if I would be allowed to publish it anyway.
If you haven't read The Help yet, I suggest you do it. It was a very easy read, and if I did not have housework, work and a baby to look after, I would have finished reading it the day I bought it. I would have stayed up through the night reading if I could. I plan on writing a bit more on the book itself someday, but for now I must attend to a screaming, tired babe.
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