Another post related to my Weight Watchers journey. Today I can say that I successfully stayed within my Daily Points. Yesterday I did not. But that is why we have those extra weekly points available, right?! Today I tracked most of my meals before I ate. This led to me having to change my tracking, because I didn't finish my tuna sandwich at lunch time. I only ate half of it. One of my problems is that I tend to eat until the food is gone, instead of until I am satisfied. I am making an effort to listen to my body instead of mindlessly eating.
Because I had only used 10 of my points for breakfast and lunch (and I've given myself 43 points per day) I relaxed a bit for dinner at Azteca with my parents. I tracked afterwards for that, but I tried to keep track in my head of all that I ate. The scale will tell me how I did next week. It felt good to be in control today. Though I must admit I felt really hungry for some of the morning. I set some carrots out on the counter for me to nibble on during those times when I felt bored and ready to eat again. Which really helped.
For dessert tonight Riley and I shared a WW Chocolate smoothie blended with 2% milk, ice and a frozen banana. I've been collecting bananas for a while, mostly to make banana bread, but decided that I wanted to try it in a smoothie tonight. It was good. Albeit a little mild. I had to add water, since the ice and frozen banana made it really thick, so next time I think I'll add about half as much ice. We'll see. But it was only 3 points for a grande size smoothie. (Riley had a tall, and there is another "tall" amount in my freezer now for another day.) Could have been less points if I had 1% or nonfat milk, but Riley is drinking 2% and is the main milk drinker in the house.
Riley and I love making and enjoying smoothies. :) And with fruit and veggies being 0 points, I can have a pretty satisfying smoothie for very few points. Looking forward to more in the future! :)
Showing posts with label Weight Loss. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Weight Loss. Show all posts
Thursday, September 5, 2013
On baby weight.
Today I forced myself to go in and get weighed. I was a little disappointed, because my home scale read 3-4 pounds lighter, but I dealt with it. It is my starting point. It is my kick-start to get losing.
Graham will be 4 weeks tomorrow. And I have 24 pounds to lose. That's about 1.5 pounds a week if I do it as quickly as before. Full disclosure: I raised my goal weight by a few pounds, because I was finding it difficult to maintain the original weight I picked before I got pregnant. I only raised it by 3 pounds, because I would rather be happy and healthy, than stressed and healthy. :P And hey, if I'm able to lose more and maintain it this time, I'll go for that too. :)
But honestly, I'm really not ready to start this weight loss journey. Junk food tastes good! Sweets make me happy. Celebrations are on their way! Halloween. Thanksgiving. Riley's 3rd birthday! Christmas. Plus Fall brings so many comfort foods and baked goods. And I love baking.
I told myself I would not find myself right back here, but here I am again. I went back and read all my posts related to weight loss, and wouldn't you know, the same themes and feelings are current in my life now. The first one is here.
Here I am post baby #2 and I'm not happy with my outward appearance. I look at myself in the mirror and I'm disgusted. I do not feel attractive, naked or clothed. I fear it will have some affect on the already strained relationship with my husband. So you would think that my motivation would be there. That I would be driven to lose, and yet the opposite is true. I'm clinging to food like it is a long lost friend. (After having gestational diabetes yet again, in some ways food is a long lost friend.) But I know that I should not use food as an outlet for my emotions; as a blanket to comfort me. I know. I have been here before. I know the journey. I know the program works. I know I'll feel and look amazing once the weight is off. But it seems like an eternity away. And homemade Oreo ice cream tastes good in the here and now.
In many ways I'm nervous that the weight won't come off like it did before. I'm also scared that the flabby belly I'm carrying around with me won't shrink back down. Why didn't I take pictures of my body after I lost the weight before? (I know why I didn't take before pictures, but now I wish I had them. Because I'm sure my body looks similar now, but I don't remember it ever being this bad.)
And then I need to remember that when I joined Weight Watchers, Riley was 9 months old. I had my fill of baked goods and fast food, and was tired of hoping the weight would fall off. I see it all the time on Facebook: My baby is 6 weeks old and I'm back in my pre-pregnancy jeans! or After 2 months I can say I weigh less than I did before I got pregnant!
And perhaps these ladies only gained the 15-20 pounds that the books tell you is healthy. (Though I just looked it up and the Mayo Clinic says 25-35 pounds is healthy for a person of normal BMI before getting pregnant.) I didn't do as bad as I thought. But...full disclosure...I gained 45 extra pounds. My willpower is awfully weak. (And my first trimester nausea is not strong enough!) But, hey! I'm consistent. I gained 45 pounds with Riley as well. I told myself I wouldn't...and honestly I did do better this time with my food choices, but here I am. And I have digressed, but I really do have to think about un-friending, and or hiding the aforementioned lucky ladies. (Just so you know, it takes a lot of willpower for me to not use a curse word to describe them.) :) But seriously, they should be happy, but seeing their good fortune just makes me focus on how I am not as lucky.
Where am I going with this?
This is my honest post on my weight loss journey. My struggles. Because it is okay to have ups and downs with weight. Because it is okay for someone who made Lifetime status to struggle too. Because I am human too. And I will lose this weight.
I went in today, despite not wanting to see that number on the scale, in order to hold myself accountable. I've been weighing myself at home and I have had some weight loss, but the last couple weeks I've been pretty stable. So I suppose it is time to get serious and start tracking. I mentioned before that I read over all of the weight loss posts that I shared before, and I found this (It was in a post after my first weight loss, I lost 1.6 pounds but was a little disappointed, expecting more of a loss.):
"And then I sat down and the meeting was exactly what I needed to hear. The leader read a poem about a pound of fat. The message was that people tend to say "I only lost a pound." Or "it was just a pound." And saying things like that make it seem like it isn't an accomplishment. When really the weight will be lost one pound at a time. She then equated it to a puzzle, and how a person doesn't approach a puzzle thinking they will throw several pieces together at a time; instead a person approaches a puzzle with one piece at a time. Obviously I have truncated the message, but hopefully you get the idea." (You can find the post here)
So, here I go. One puzzle piece at a time.
Graham will be 4 weeks tomorrow. And I have 24 pounds to lose. That's about 1.5 pounds a week if I do it as quickly as before. Full disclosure: I raised my goal weight by a few pounds, because I was finding it difficult to maintain the original weight I picked before I got pregnant. I only raised it by 3 pounds, because I would rather be happy and healthy, than stressed and healthy. :P And hey, if I'm able to lose more and maintain it this time, I'll go for that too. :)
But honestly, I'm really not ready to start this weight loss journey. Junk food tastes good! Sweets make me happy. Celebrations are on their way! Halloween. Thanksgiving. Riley's 3rd birthday! Christmas. Plus Fall brings so many comfort foods and baked goods. And I love baking.
I told myself I would not find myself right back here, but here I am again. I went back and read all my posts related to weight loss, and wouldn't you know, the same themes and feelings are current in my life now. The first one is here.
Here I am post baby #2 and I'm not happy with my outward appearance. I look at myself in the mirror and I'm disgusted. I do not feel attractive, naked or clothed. I fear it will have some affect on the already strained relationship with my husband. So you would think that my motivation would be there. That I would be driven to lose, and yet the opposite is true. I'm clinging to food like it is a long lost friend. (After having gestational diabetes yet again, in some ways food is a long lost friend.) But I know that I should not use food as an outlet for my emotions; as a blanket to comfort me. I know. I have been here before. I know the journey. I know the program works. I know I'll feel and look amazing once the weight is off. But it seems like an eternity away. And homemade Oreo ice cream tastes good in the here and now.
In many ways I'm nervous that the weight won't come off like it did before. I'm also scared that the flabby belly I'm carrying around with me won't shrink back down. Why didn't I take pictures of my body after I lost the weight before? (I know why I didn't take before pictures, but now I wish I had them. Because I'm sure my body looks similar now, but I don't remember it ever being this bad.)
And then I need to remember that when I joined Weight Watchers, Riley was 9 months old. I had my fill of baked goods and fast food, and was tired of hoping the weight would fall off. I see it all the time on Facebook: My baby is 6 weeks old and I'm back in my pre-pregnancy jeans! or After 2 months I can say I weigh less than I did before I got pregnant!
And perhaps these ladies only gained the 15-20 pounds that the books tell you is healthy. (Though I just looked it up and the Mayo Clinic says 25-35 pounds is healthy for a person of normal BMI before getting pregnant.) I didn't do as bad as I thought. But...full disclosure...I gained 45 extra pounds. My willpower is awfully weak. (And my first trimester nausea is not strong enough!) But, hey! I'm consistent. I gained 45 pounds with Riley as well. I told myself I wouldn't...and honestly I did do better this time with my food choices, but here I am. And I have digressed, but I really do have to think about un-friending, and or hiding the aforementioned lucky ladies. (Just so you know, it takes a lot of willpower for me to not use a curse word to describe them.) :) But seriously, they should be happy, but seeing their good fortune just makes me focus on how I am not as lucky.
Where am I going with this?
This is my honest post on my weight loss journey. My struggles. Because it is okay to have ups and downs with weight. Because it is okay for someone who made Lifetime status to struggle too. Because I am human too. And I will lose this weight.
I went in today, despite not wanting to see that number on the scale, in order to hold myself accountable. I've been weighing myself at home and I have had some weight loss, but the last couple weeks I've been pretty stable. So I suppose it is time to get serious and start tracking. I mentioned before that I read over all of the weight loss posts that I shared before, and I found this (It was in a post after my first weight loss, I lost 1.6 pounds but was a little disappointed, expecting more of a loss.):
"And then I sat down and the meeting was exactly what I needed to hear. The leader read a poem about a pound of fat. The message was that people tend to say "I only lost a pound." Or "it was just a pound." And saying things like that make it seem like it isn't an accomplishment. When really the weight will be lost one pound at a time. She then equated it to a puzzle, and how a person doesn't approach a puzzle thinking they will throw several pieces together at a time; instead a person approaches a puzzle with one piece at a time. Obviously I have truncated the message, but hopefully you get the idea." (You can find the post here)
So, here I go. One puzzle piece at a time.
Thursday, July 19, 2012
Maintenance
I am finding maintenance to be a little difficult for me. I have tried a couple weeks of just eating what I want and not tracking and haven't done so well. I knew that it wouldn't work, but I hoped that it would. You see, I know that sometime in the near future I might want to try to get pregnant again. And I will not be allowed to follow weight watchers while pregnant (for obvious reasons). So I thought that I would practice to see how my pregnancy might go, and I see myself falling into that "you are eating for two" rhythm again.
Yes, I do realize that I would be carrying another life around with me, and that is not something to take lightly, but I truly believe that I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes (with my first pregnancy) because of my poor diet during the first trimester. I ate what I wanted, and gave myself free reign because I was doing something noble. I was cultivating a life, and that meant I deserved some sort of reward for my hardship. As if to say that because I was sacrificing my body to grow a baby, I deserved something in return. The reward I chose for myself was food.
Last weekend my husband and I went camping and I knew going into it I wasn't going to worry about my intake. I knew I was going to make poor choices. I accepted that. But I hadn't prepared for our return home. All of the left over snack foods I had brought were staring me in the face. Chocolate bars, graham crackers, chips, cheez-it snack mix, fruit snacks, etc most of which were barely touched while camping. But because it is there, I have had my fair share of it now. I have a hard time with guilt in relation to food. (I know this isn't a new concept for people attempting to lose weight.) When we lose track sometimes it is the guilt that drives us further from our goal. I am attempting to break my own cycle by writing this down. I need that accountability piece that I haphazardly threw out the window a few weeks ago. For me, it is tracking what I eat using my e-tools. When I track, I look at my portions, I measure out foods, I assess whether I really want something or not, and I feel in control. When I don't, the opposite is true: my portions expand, the foods I choose are less healthful, I don't think before shoving food in my mouth, and I feel reckless.
Everyone hits roadblocks sometimes. Okay, so you just ate that entire can of Pringles chips, now what? Brush yourself off and start brand new. Start tracking again with the next bite of food you indulge in. Don't drown yourself in canned whipped cream because you can't believe you ate all those chips. Because pretty soon you'll be upset over that too. It is self-destructive behavior, that I can admit to taking part in a few times in my life. But this last week, I remember thinking that it didn't matter, since I had already strayed from the path so much.
My point is this: one can of Pringles won't put 25 pounds back on my body, but not caring might. This is me, brushing myself off and starting again. Who would have thought that maintenance would bring its own set of challenges and setbacks?
Yesterday I accepted a permanent position as a receptionist for Weight Watchers on Wednesday evenings in the Federal Way location. I am really excited about it, because I have only had 2 shifts since being hired in March (aside from the 5 training shifts I worked). It is difficult to remember everything, when you get very little exposure to everything. It will also help me to be held accountable.
Yes, I do realize that I would be carrying another life around with me, and that is not something to take lightly, but I truly believe that I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes (with my first pregnancy) because of my poor diet during the first trimester. I ate what I wanted, and gave myself free reign because I was doing something noble. I was cultivating a life, and that meant I deserved some sort of reward for my hardship. As if to say that because I was sacrificing my body to grow a baby, I deserved something in return. The reward I chose for myself was food.
Last weekend my husband and I went camping and I knew going into it I wasn't going to worry about my intake. I knew I was going to make poor choices. I accepted that. But I hadn't prepared for our return home. All of the left over snack foods I had brought were staring me in the face. Chocolate bars, graham crackers, chips, cheez-it snack mix, fruit snacks, etc most of which were barely touched while camping. But because it is there, I have had my fair share of it now. I have a hard time with guilt in relation to food. (I know this isn't a new concept for people attempting to lose weight.) When we lose track sometimes it is the guilt that drives us further from our goal. I am attempting to break my own cycle by writing this down. I need that accountability piece that I haphazardly threw out the window a few weeks ago. For me, it is tracking what I eat using my e-tools. When I track, I look at my portions, I measure out foods, I assess whether I really want something or not, and I feel in control. When I don't, the opposite is true: my portions expand, the foods I choose are less healthful, I don't think before shoving food in my mouth, and I feel reckless.
Everyone hits roadblocks sometimes. Okay, so you just ate that entire can of Pringles chips, now what? Brush yourself off and start brand new. Start tracking again with the next bite of food you indulge in. Don't drown yourself in canned whipped cream because you can't believe you ate all those chips. Because pretty soon you'll be upset over that too. It is self-destructive behavior, that I can admit to taking part in a few times in my life. But this last week, I remember thinking that it didn't matter, since I had already strayed from the path so much.
My point is this: one can of Pringles won't put 25 pounds back on my body, but not caring might. This is me, brushing myself off and starting again. Who would have thought that maintenance would bring its own set of challenges and setbacks?
Yesterday I accepted a permanent position as a receptionist for Weight Watchers on Wednesday evenings in the Federal Way location. I am really excited about it, because I have only had 2 shifts since being hired in March (aside from the 5 training shifts I worked). It is difficult to remember everything, when you get very little exposure to everything. It will also help me to be held accountable.
Monday, February 20, 2012
Secrets
Are you curious yet, about the secret I had mentioned yesterday?
Well, I hope you are. Because I can't wait to share.
I was just offered a job with Weight Watchers as a receptionist. :)
Do you see now why I want to wait a little bit before I get pregnant again? As an employee of WW you are expected to be within 2 pounds of your goal weight. I have read about some employees having babies and then coming back after their baby is born. But, for obvious reasons, you are not allowed to follow the program and be pregnant at the same time. I don't really know how it works, if I can't work while pregnant or how that will go, but I'd like to get settled into the job, and then find out about all of those details.
A receptionist's job is to welcome members, weigh them in, act as cashier, and sign people up. The shifts are usually only 2.5 hours and I will be doing 2 a week. If I can swing it, maybe be able to do two meetings in a row, so just one day per week is my WW day. :)
We'll see. I'm giddy and nervous all at the same time.
This is one definite way to keep me accountable. :)
OH! Now I need to go buy some "business casual" clothing. I definitely need some slacks. Jeans and scrubs just won't cut it! :)
Well, I hope you are. Because I can't wait to share.
I was just offered a job with Weight Watchers as a receptionist. :)
Do you see now why I want to wait a little bit before I get pregnant again? As an employee of WW you are expected to be within 2 pounds of your goal weight. I have read about some employees having babies and then coming back after their baby is born. But, for obvious reasons, you are not allowed to follow the program and be pregnant at the same time. I don't really know how it works, if I can't work while pregnant or how that will go, but I'd like to get settled into the job, and then find out about all of those details.
A receptionist's job is to welcome members, weigh them in, act as cashier, and sign people up. The shifts are usually only 2.5 hours and I will be doing 2 a week. If I can swing it, maybe be able to do two meetings in a row, so just one day per week is my WW day. :)
We'll see. I'm giddy and nervous all at the same time.
This is one definite way to keep me accountable. :)
OH! Now I need to go buy some "business casual" clothing. I definitely need some slacks. Jeans and scrubs just won't cut it! :)
Sunday, February 19, 2012
Baby fever?
I have been getting strong, strong urges to get pregnant as of late. I think it is mostly because three (three!) of my close friends are expecting. It is enough to make a girl feel a pang of jealousy, at least for a moment. It is a bit selfish of me to be just a touch sad that they are pregnant and I am not. (But, I truly am so very excited for each of them! :D)
I was walking through Safeway the other day, alone for a change. And saw a young girl who was pregnant. I thought to myself, "I wonder if she knows how much her life is about to change for the better?!" And I really had to hold myself back before I went up to talk to her about her pregnancy and congratulate her.
But I also had this urge to thank her. Who knows how old she really was, but she looked as if she could still be in high school. Or possibly just recently graduated. But she did not appear much older than 20. Even if she doesn't keep her baby, her child was given the gift of life. And as I walked through Safeway, I couldn't help but smile.
I held back so as not to freak the girl out, but I really do wonder what her story was. I'm curious if any of my feelings were warranted, and if she ever did think about her options when she found out she was pregnant. Whatever her story, seeing her rounded belly made my day a little brighter.
And yet, I am quite happy with my two boys (my husband and son). And, maybe some will think I'm being selfish, but I'm quite happy reuniting with my old body; wearing my old jeans from high school. And having my body to myself again, (read: no longer breast feeding.)
And okay, I also have something secret that I will share later this week. And that secret thing, is just another reason why I want to wait a bit. :)
I was walking through Safeway the other day, alone for a change. And saw a young girl who was pregnant. I thought to myself, "I wonder if she knows how much her life is about to change for the better?!" And I really had to hold myself back before I went up to talk to her about her pregnancy and congratulate her.
But I also had this urge to thank her. Who knows how old she really was, but she looked as if she could still be in high school. Or possibly just recently graduated. But she did not appear much older than 20. Even if she doesn't keep her baby, her child was given the gift of life. And as I walked through Safeway, I couldn't help but smile.
I held back so as not to freak the girl out, but I really do wonder what her story was. I'm curious if any of my feelings were warranted, and if she ever did think about her options when she found out she was pregnant. Whatever her story, seeing her rounded belly made my day a little brighter.
And yet, I am quite happy with my two boys (my husband and son). And, maybe some will think I'm being selfish, but I'm quite happy reuniting with my old body; wearing my old jeans from high school. And having my body to myself again, (read: no longer breast feeding.)
And okay, I also have something secret that I will share later this week. And that secret thing, is just another reason why I want to wait a bit. :)
Friday, February 10, 2012
My new gadget
The other day Jamaal got a package from FedEx. This is nothing too out of the ordinary, he gets packages quite frequently. So, I set it aside, curious to know what was inside. When he got home from work that day, I was in the other room folding clothes. He came to me after about 30 minutes with a HP Touchpad (HP's version of the Ipad). I was a bit shocked. It was unexpected. I started thinking, "Is this a birthday gift, a month early? Perhaps a Valentine's Day present a little early?" I didn't really know.
Eventually he tells me that it is a gift for making it to my weight goal. That I was not expecting. I was breathless for a moment. Up until then he had made little, to no notice of my weight loss. I would tell him every week how much I had lost, and he would say something like "yay" with no real feeling or excitement behind it. He wasn't trying to be cruel, it is just the way he expresses himself. But I sometimes wanted a little more from him.
Another example. A few weeks back, I went to get Riley from my mother-in-laws. I had just gone shopping for some clothes that fit, and had a new outfit on. The next day Jamaal said to me: "My mom says you look skinny." I can't remember for sure if I called him on that comment or not. Your mom thinks I look skinny, but what do you think? Hmm?!
He has been making comments about how saggy my pants are, which I know translates to: You need clothes that fit, and ultimately that I have lost weight. But he never really went out and said he was proud of me.
But when he presented me with this gift it hit me that he had noticed. Of course I knew that, but sometimes it is nice to hear the obvious.
So here I am, typing out this post using the wireless keyboard he got me to go with it. :) The only thing he didn't get me was a case for it, because he wanted me to pick it out. :)
A friend asked me today if that meant I would post some more, and maybe I will. At least I will try. But it is ever so hard for me to pull away from The Hunger Games (I bought the series for my Kindle app first thing.) But I'm sure I will finish reading it eventually. :)
Eventually he tells me that it is a gift for making it to my weight goal. That I was not expecting. I was breathless for a moment. Up until then he had made little, to no notice of my weight loss. I would tell him every week how much I had lost, and he would say something like "yay" with no real feeling or excitement behind it. He wasn't trying to be cruel, it is just the way he expresses himself. But I sometimes wanted a little more from him.
Another example. A few weeks back, I went to get Riley from my mother-in-laws. I had just gone shopping for some clothes that fit, and had a new outfit on. The next day Jamaal said to me: "My mom says you look skinny." I can't remember for sure if I called him on that comment or not. Your mom thinks I look skinny, but what do you think? Hmm?!
He has been making comments about how saggy my pants are, which I know translates to: You need clothes that fit, and ultimately that I have lost weight. But he never really went out and said he was proud of me.
But when he presented me with this gift it hit me that he had noticed. Of course I knew that, but sometimes it is nice to hear the obvious.
So here I am, typing out this post using the wireless keyboard he got me to go with it. :) The only thing he didn't get me was a case for it, because he wanted me to pick it out. :)
A friend asked me today if that meant I would post some more, and maybe I will. At least I will try. But it is ever so hard for me to pull away from The Hunger Games (I bought the series for my Kindle app first thing.) But I'm sure I will finish reading it eventually. :)
Thursday, February 2, 2012
At Goal!
16 weeks. 22 pounds. :)
I have to say it is a huge relief to have finally made it. And yet it is a scary place to be. Because now I need to maintain. And there is just something about butter and cheese and fried, well, anything that calls my name. Even though I know that Weight Watchers is not a diet, it is a lifestyle, I find myself thinking "I'm done dieting."
Now it has been 17 weeks 23 pounds and 24.25 inches.
I stepped on the scale this week, apprehensive. I was sure I had gained. (But this would have been okay, because last week I weighed in below my goal weight, and you are supposed to stay within 2 pounds of your goal weight. I was 1.8 pounds below last week. And yesterday, I lost 1.2 more. "That just means you can eat more" the receptionist said to me. Boy I guess! But, I think perhaps I should lower my goal weight. Because the idea of gaining 3 pounds does not sound appealing to me. It is a difficult mindset to get out of. I feel like I should always just be losing losing losing. Maintaining is okay. But the idea of gaining?! No. I don't want to go there. Not unless I am pregnant. And have a reason to gain.
And can I just say that I have had a lot of brownies this last week?! They were home made brownies at that. And not a "healthy" adaptation. No no. My husband would have none of that. :) It was his birthday last weekend and he loves brownies.
My secret? I cut the brownies into a little bigger than 1 inch squares. And froze them. I separated them out and put them in the freezer. Once they were frozen, I dumped them in a ziploc bag and pushed them to the back of our freezer. Each little square is 2 points, and if I have 2 of them (as I often do) they are 5 points. If you are at all familiar with Weight Watchers, you know that these brownies are not cheap. They have a high points value, especially when you look at how small they are. But they are pretty tasty, chewy, and when you eat them frozen, they take a bit longer to nibble on.
Want the recipe? Here we go:
Springer's Espresso Brownies
(A recipe given to me by a social worker I work with)
Ingredients:
-4 ounces unsweetened chocolate (I only had semisweet, and went with that.)
-2 sticks (1 cup) unsalted butter
-3-4 tablespoons Medaglia d'Oro ground espresso
-2 teaspoons vanilla
-4 large eggs
-2 cups granulated sugar
-1 cup unbleached flour, stirred with a whisk before measuring
-chopped walnuts (optional) (if you add these they will alter the points values as I did not use them)
1. Melt chocolate with butter very gently. Once melted add espresso and vanilla. Let cool to lukewarm.
2. In medium sized bowl, beat eggs with sugar. Once chocolate has cooled, add it to the sugar mixture.
3. Gently fold in flour, just until absorbed. (Don't beat once flour has been added). Fold in nuts if using.
4. Scrape batter into buttered and floured pan (8x8 or 9x12)
5. Bake at 325 if pan is glass, or 350 if using a metal pan.
6. Bake about 25 minutes but start testing early. When toothpick inserted in center comes out with damp crumbs (but not liquid) remove to rack to cool. Cool for 30 minutes or more before cutting.
They have a mocha flavor that I like a lot. But I would not say that these are the world's best brownies either. That being said, I would definitely make them again. And I would probably still use the semisweet chocolate. I don't feel like the brownies were overpoweringly sweet. But when I measured out the sugar, I did go just under 2 cups. They come out fudgey and chewy, just how a brownie should be. (In my opinion!)
I used a 9x13 glass pan, and cut 54 brownies out (6 rows by 9 columns). Enjoy!
I have to say it is a huge relief to have finally made it. And yet it is a scary place to be. Because now I need to maintain. And there is just something about butter and cheese and fried, well, anything that calls my name. Even though I know that Weight Watchers is not a diet, it is a lifestyle, I find myself thinking "I'm done dieting."
Now it has been 17 weeks 23 pounds and 24.25 inches.
I stepped on the scale this week, apprehensive. I was sure I had gained. (But this would have been okay, because last week I weighed in below my goal weight, and you are supposed to stay within 2 pounds of your goal weight. I was 1.8 pounds below last week. And yesterday, I lost 1.2 more. "That just means you can eat more" the receptionist said to me. Boy I guess! But, I think perhaps I should lower my goal weight. Because the idea of gaining 3 pounds does not sound appealing to me. It is a difficult mindset to get out of. I feel like I should always just be losing losing losing. Maintaining is okay. But the idea of gaining?! No. I don't want to go there. Not unless I am pregnant. And have a reason to gain.
And can I just say that I have had a lot of brownies this last week?! They were home made brownies at that. And not a "healthy" adaptation. No no. My husband would have none of that. :) It was his birthday last weekend and he loves brownies.
My secret? I cut the brownies into a little bigger than 1 inch squares. And froze them. I separated them out and put them in the freezer. Once they were frozen, I dumped them in a ziploc bag and pushed them to the back of our freezer. Each little square is 2 points, and if I have 2 of them (as I often do) they are 5 points. If you are at all familiar with Weight Watchers, you know that these brownies are not cheap. They have a high points value, especially when you look at how small they are. But they are pretty tasty, chewy, and when you eat them frozen, they take a bit longer to nibble on.
Springer's Espresso Brownies
(A recipe given to me by a social worker I work with)
Ingredients:
-4 ounces unsweetened chocolate (I only had semisweet, and went with that.)
-2 sticks (1 cup) unsalted butter
-3-4 tablespoons Medaglia d'Oro ground espresso
-2 teaspoons vanilla
-4 large eggs
-2 cups granulated sugar
-1 cup unbleached flour, stirred with a whisk before measuring
-chopped walnuts (optional) (if you add these they will alter the points values as I did not use them)
1. Melt chocolate with butter very gently. Once melted add espresso and vanilla. Let cool to lukewarm.
2. In medium sized bowl, beat eggs with sugar. Once chocolate has cooled, add it to the sugar mixture.
3. Gently fold in flour, just until absorbed. (Don't beat once flour has been added). Fold in nuts if using.
4. Scrape batter into buttered and floured pan (8x8 or 9x12)
5. Bake at 325 if pan is glass, or 350 if using a metal pan.
6. Bake about 25 minutes but start testing early. When toothpick inserted in center comes out with damp crumbs (but not liquid) remove to rack to cool. Cool for 30 minutes or more before cutting.
I used a 9x13 glass pan, and cut 54 brownies out (6 rows by 9 columns). Enjoy!
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Losing the weight
I started writing this post earlier this week.
11/30/2011
Wednesday. Weigh in day. Today caused me much anxiety, mostly due to the fact that Thanksgiving was last week, and I had 4 slices of pie during that time. Plus several servings of my mom's fabulous stuffing. (But not all on the same day. It was so scrumptious as leftovers!) I was always conscious of the serving sizes on my plate. I bought a scale at one of the meetings a couple weeks back, and I use that A LOT when I'm making up my plate. I always thought my biggest problem was snacking. When I was home with Riley I found myself in the pantry a lot, pulling out bags of chips to snack out of, or making super buttery popcorn, and eat it ALL. But now I realize my biggest problem was portion control. I still snack a lot. But I measure out my snacks first. I make sure I don't overindulge, unless it really seems worth it to me.
Like homemade pecan pie. That, my friends, is worth it to me. ;)
Anyway...I was pretty nervous standing on that scale waiting for my results when the receptionist said "You lost 0.8 pounds. Good job!"
I didn't share, but last week I hit my first 10 pound mark. (The week before I lost 5% of my body weight.)
And today, 12/4/2011 I fit back into my pre-pregnancy jeans. Just shy of one year after he was born, and I can say I fit in my old jeans again. Comfortably.
I have to say, I am very proud of myself. It feels amazing to be able to look in the mirror and be happier with what I see. I was feeling pretty crummy about myself before I started losing weight. I am still on the losing side of this journey though, I have about 8 pounds left to lose until my goal weight, but it feels doable now. I still have a little "muffin top," but I had that before I got pregnant. So, it would be nice to lose it.
I keep thinking about those lucky few ladies who have babies and are in their pre-pregnancy jeans within 6 weeks. I was hoping and praying that I would be one of those women who could blink and lose 15 pounds (and well I did that for the first 20 pounds, but I had more weight to lose than 20 pounds.) But it became abundantly clear to me that I was not in that category. I'm okay with that now. Because I have lost 12+ pounds and I am almost there. I can feel it. I feel my confidence building. I feel sexier. But most of all, I feel like I could do it all over again.
And hopefully I will. Only next time I vow to only gain 20 pounds, not 40 as I did the first time. Even though I had read about pregnancy and what to eat, and what not to eat, and how you only need 400 calories more to help support a pregnancy. I still felt entitled to treats, extra helpings, and extravagant desserts, because I was carrying something precious. I have a feeling that that is why I was diagnosed with Gestational Diabetes. Because I was so overly careless with my diet during the first and second trimester. I did not feel like I was being careless at the time. But looking back, I relied too much on my cravings, and not so much on my dietary requirements.
I craved Coke Icees from Burger King, and some weeks I would have one nearly every day. That meant getting off an exit before mine, just to get one. (During the summer months they are only $1, so it is a steal of a deal.) I would go through the drive thru just for one. Carbs were what I wanted.
I think that this is the reason why I had such a difficult time with the diagnosis and changing my diet. Carbohydrates had become the majority of my caloric intake. I didn't know anything else. Now I feel like I have a better grasp on what I need versus what I want. That is not to say that I won't treat myself to a slice of cheesecake or some french fries, but I will do so in moderation.
This is still true now, even while I am only nourishing myself (I suppose I am also nourishing Riley, as he is still nursing some.) I am taking what I learned while pregnant, and what I have learned so far while on Weight Watchers, and applying it to my life. Because while I wish I could eat whatever I want when I want it, realistically I know that my health is more important.
11/30/2011
Wednesday. Weigh in day. Today caused me much anxiety, mostly due to the fact that Thanksgiving was last week, and I had 4 slices of pie during that time. Plus several servings of my mom's fabulous stuffing. (But not all on the same day. It was so scrumptious as leftovers!) I was always conscious of the serving sizes on my plate. I bought a scale at one of the meetings a couple weeks back, and I use that A LOT when I'm making up my plate. I always thought my biggest problem was snacking. When I was home with Riley I found myself in the pantry a lot, pulling out bags of chips to snack out of, or making super buttery popcorn, and eat it ALL. But now I realize my biggest problem was portion control. I still snack a lot. But I measure out my snacks first. I make sure I don't overindulge, unless it really seems worth it to me.
Like homemade pecan pie. That, my friends, is worth it to me. ;)
Anyway...I was pretty nervous standing on that scale waiting for my results when the receptionist said "You lost 0.8 pounds. Good job!"
I didn't share, but last week I hit my first 10 pound mark. (The week before I lost 5% of my body weight.)
And today, 12/4/2011 I fit back into my pre-pregnancy jeans. Just shy of one year after he was born, and I can say I fit in my old jeans again. Comfortably.
I have to say, I am very proud of myself. It feels amazing to be able to look in the mirror and be happier with what I see. I was feeling pretty crummy about myself before I started losing weight. I am still on the losing side of this journey though, I have about 8 pounds left to lose until my goal weight, but it feels doable now. I still have a little "muffin top," but I had that before I got pregnant. So, it would be nice to lose it.
I keep thinking about those lucky few ladies who have babies and are in their pre-pregnancy jeans within 6 weeks. I was hoping and praying that I would be one of those women who could blink and lose 15 pounds (and well I did that for the first 20 pounds, but I had more weight to lose than 20 pounds.) But it became abundantly clear to me that I was not in that category. I'm okay with that now. Because I have lost 12+ pounds and I am almost there. I can feel it. I feel my confidence building. I feel sexier. But most of all, I feel like I could do it all over again.
And hopefully I will. Only next time I vow to only gain 20 pounds, not 40 as I did the first time. Even though I had read about pregnancy and what to eat, and what not to eat, and how you only need 400 calories more to help support a pregnancy. I still felt entitled to treats, extra helpings, and extravagant desserts, because I was carrying something precious. I have a feeling that that is why I was diagnosed with Gestational Diabetes. Because I was so overly careless with my diet during the first and second trimester. I did not feel like I was being careless at the time. But looking back, I relied too much on my cravings, and not so much on my dietary requirements.
I craved Coke Icees from Burger King, and some weeks I would have one nearly every day. That meant getting off an exit before mine, just to get one. (During the summer months they are only $1, so it is a steal of a deal.) I would go through the drive thru just for one. Carbs were what I wanted.
I think that this is the reason why I had such a difficult time with the diagnosis and changing my diet. Carbohydrates had become the majority of my caloric intake. I didn't know anything else. Now I feel like I have a better grasp on what I need versus what I want. That is not to say that I won't treat myself to a slice of cheesecake or some french fries, but I will do so in moderation.
This is still true now, even while I am only nourishing myself (I suppose I am also nourishing Riley, as he is still nursing some.) I am taking what I learned while pregnant, and what I have learned so far while on Weight Watchers, and applying it to my life. Because while I wish I could eat whatever I want when I want it, realistically I know that my health is more important.
Monday, November 21, 2011
Family Shoot
A friend of ours agreed to take some family pictures of us, she was so flexible, and rescheduled for Sunday (we originally had planned on Wednesday, but it was drizzling/pouring rain all day, and I wanted some outdoor shots). It was FREEZING out. But Riley was a trooper. He never cried or fussed. But, he rarely smiled as well. These are just a few of the shots Stacy has passed along as a teaser. I can't wait to see the rest. :D Go here to see some of her other work, and contact her to schedule your session.
In other news: I continue to lose, and have lost a total of 8.8 pounds. I'm hoping to continue to lose over the next two weeks, but with Thanksgiving, I would be happy to maintain as well. :D
Friday, October 28, 2011
Another week down
On Wednesday I had my second weigh in. I had a dream the night before that I had lost 9 pounds. I felt so empowered because it put me that much closer to my goal weight. It put me at the halfway point, and so I got honored at the meeting.
In real life, I went in to get weighed and felt optimistic. I haven't really noticed a difference in the way my clothes fit, but I do feel better about myself.
So get this, I lost 2 pounds! The receptionist who weighed me made me feel really proud of my work this last week.
I have been working on choosing healthier foods and drinks, but still haven't been getting extra activity in. I didn't meet my goal from last week. I just need to work on making activity a priority.
In other news, I'm kind of under the weather right now. I lost my voice after working 12 hours on Thursday, all that talking to my patients wore it out. When I woke up I barely had a voice. Riley wasn't scared or bothered by it as I thought he would be. But I did upset him more than normal when I told him to get down off the hot dishwasher. I sound pretty gruff.
Today he started pointing at things sort of randomly. He will just stop what he is doing and point. It really is cute, but I try looking at where he is pointing, and I truly have no clue what it is I'm supposed to be looking at. I guess he is still new to this world and excited by bare patches of wall and the ceiling. ;) He continues to work on walking and standing on his own. I will set him down standing, and let go, and he will stand there for a bit before lowering himself down to the floor, or grabbing some piece of furniture. I bought him a convertible scooter/walker thing and he will push it around the house until he hits a wall or item that he can't run over. I have a video that I want to try to upload, but I don't know where the camera is right now.
Here is a tip we learned at our WW meeting this week:
Don't go crazy over Halloween candy, you can buy candy any time you want during the year. So what makes bags of Halloween candy special?
When I think about it this way, it makes it easier for me to limit my intake. I, like many people out there, experience a "special occasion" phenomenom where it makes it okay to overeat or over-indulge in high calorie foods, simply because it is a treat, or something that doesn't happen very often. Don't get me wrong, I am going to indulge every now and then. But I don't have to stuff myself to enjoy myself. Right? Who's with me? :D
I haven't bought any Halloween candy yet, last year we had 6 trick or treaters, so I'm not expecting a lot. I'm going to try and buy a small amount of candy so that it isn't there staring at me while I'm home with Riley. Although, I must say, accounting for everything that I eat does help me to think about what I'm putting in my mouth.
In real life, I went in to get weighed and felt optimistic. I haven't really noticed a difference in the way my clothes fit, but I do feel better about myself.
So get this, I lost 2 pounds! The receptionist who weighed me made me feel really proud of my work this last week.
I have been working on choosing healthier foods and drinks, but still haven't been getting extra activity in. I didn't meet my goal from last week. I just need to work on making activity a priority.
In other news, I'm kind of under the weather right now. I lost my voice after working 12 hours on Thursday, all that talking to my patients wore it out. When I woke up I barely had a voice. Riley wasn't scared or bothered by it as I thought he would be. But I did upset him more than normal when I told him to get down off the hot dishwasher. I sound pretty gruff.
Today he started pointing at things sort of randomly. He will just stop what he is doing and point. It really is cute, but I try looking at where he is pointing, and I truly have no clue what it is I'm supposed to be looking at. I guess he is still new to this world and excited by bare patches of wall and the ceiling. ;) He continues to work on walking and standing on his own. I will set him down standing, and let go, and he will stand there for a bit before lowering himself down to the floor, or grabbing some piece of furniture. I bought him a convertible scooter/walker thing and he will push it around the house until he hits a wall or item that he can't run over. I have a video that I want to try to upload, but I don't know where the camera is right now.
Here is a tip we learned at our WW meeting this week:
Don't go crazy over Halloween candy, you can buy candy any time you want during the year. So what makes bags of Halloween candy special?
When I think about it this way, it makes it easier for me to limit my intake. I, like many people out there, experience a "special occasion" phenomenom where it makes it okay to overeat or over-indulge in high calorie foods, simply because it is a treat, or something that doesn't happen very often. Don't get me wrong, I am going to indulge every now and then. But I don't have to stuff myself to enjoy myself. Right? Who's with me? :D
I haven't bought any Halloween candy yet, last year we had 6 trick or treaters, so I'm not expecting a lot. I'm going to try and buy a small amount of candy so that it isn't there staring at me while I'm home with Riley. Although, I must say, accounting for everything that I eat does help me to think about what I'm putting in my mouth.
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
A loss
Of 1.6 pounds!
Not going to lie, I was expecting a little bit more of a loss. Mostly because I weighed myself on my home scale yesterday and I had lost nearly 5 pounds. I was slightly disappointed.
And then I sat down and the meeting was exactly what I needed to hear. The leader read a poem about a pound of fat. The message was that people tend to say "I only lost a pound." Or "it was just a pound." And saying things like that make it seem like it isn't an accomplishment. When really the weight will be lost one pound at a time. She then equated it to a puzzle, and how a person doesn't approach a puzzle thinking they will throw several pieces together at a time; instead a person approaches a puzzle with one piece at a time. Obviously I have truncated the message, but hopefully you get the idea.
I should be proud of all my hard work! :D
What worked for me this week: I made sure to keep track of my food (online and on my phone). I made sure to have lots of fruits and veggies available to me to snack on and actually ran out rather quickly. I have purchased a variety of fruits and vegetables, and have been forcing myself to eat/cook with them.
What I need to improve on: I need to work on adding activity to my daily routine. I have been doing water aerobics once a week, but this is not enough activity. Ideally I would have some sort of activity every day or at the very least, 5 days a week.
Goals for this week: I realize I need to increase my activity, but I don't want to set an unreachable goal. I want to increase my activity slowly. This week I want to add 45 minutes of activity. (on top of the water aerobics that I have already done today). I find myself having a hard time finding time when I can get away from my baby long enough to get a good workout in. But, I need to stop using him as an excuse and just get it done somehow.
Not going to lie, I was expecting a little bit more of a loss. Mostly because I weighed myself on my home scale yesterday and I had lost nearly 5 pounds. I was slightly disappointed.
And then I sat down and the meeting was exactly what I needed to hear. The leader read a poem about a pound of fat. The message was that people tend to say "I only lost a pound." Or "it was just a pound." And saying things like that make it seem like it isn't an accomplishment. When really the weight will be lost one pound at a time. She then equated it to a puzzle, and how a person doesn't approach a puzzle thinking they will throw several pieces together at a time; instead a person approaches a puzzle with one piece at a time. Obviously I have truncated the message, but hopefully you get the idea.
I should be proud of all my hard work! :D
What worked for me this week: I made sure to keep track of my food (online and on my phone). I made sure to have lots of fruits and veggies available to me to snack on and actually ran out rather quickly. I have purchased a variety of fruits and vegetables, and have been forcing myself to eat/cook with them.
What I need to improve on: I need to work on adding activity to my daily routine. I have been doing water aerobics once a week, but this is not enough activity. Ideally I would have some sort of activity every day or at the very least, 5 days a week.
Goals for this week: I realize I need to increase my activity, but I don't want to set an unreachable goal. I want to increase my activity slowly. This week I want to add 45 minutes of activity. (on top of the water aerobics that I have already done today). I find myself having a hard time finding time when I can get away from my baby long enough to get a good workout in. But, I need to stop using him as an excuse and just get it done somehow.
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Weigh in
As I stated yesterday, I went to Weight Watchers today and signed up. Riley, my mom and I listened to the meeting and had a good time. Four years ago (when I got out of college) I started up with weight watchers with my mom. I didn't pay or go to meetings, just counted points etc with my mom. It was a way for me to help motivate her, and I also was trying to lose weight for my friend Jessie's wedding. :D I lost quite a bit of weight and was down to about 120. But I was sort of scaring myself. I wasn't eating appropriately. I wasn't starving myself exactly, but I was so focused on dessert that I would save up all of my points just so I could have a big dessert or snack. Ultimately I was not getting the appropriate nutrients in, and I got worried that I would begin to starve myself further if I stuck with it. So I stopped. Around this time I was stressed out at work, and eventually moved in with Jamaal, which made dieting even more difficult.
I tend to get a bit competitive and strict about diets, and already I can't read enough. I'm planning what I will be eating tomorrow, down to each little snack and detail. They have an app for my phone (and an online program) that you can track your food on. So I can easily remove foods I don't eat, and add those that I spontaneously decide on eating. I think that a little planning will help me to control my portions and my snacking.
I know a lot of my problems come on those days when I don't plan ahead. We end up eating something quick from the freezer (usually fried up crispy) or something from a drive thru. I'm embarrassed to admit that I would often rather eat fast-food than I would cook something homemade (and healthier), especially after working 12-hours. It is just so difficult to get away from my nursing baby, that even on days when I don't work, it is a challenge to get in the kitchen and cook.
This is my vow to decrease my fast food consumption to less than once per week. I am pretty sure (though I haven't been keeping track) that we have had fast food once a week pretty regularly since Riley was born. And there were a couple times when we had it more than once in a week. (But there also were definitely weeks when we did not have any.) I know it isn't good for me, but it just tastes so good! I know my husband and myself well enough to know that cutting it out completely (at least right now) will not happen. But when we do decide to eat there, I will make better choices.
I made a goal today to lose 6 pounds over the next 8 weeks. :D I think I can, I think I can...
I tend to get a bit competitive and strict about diets, and already I can't read enough. I'm planning what I will be eating tomorrow, down to each little snack and detail. They have an app for my phone (and an online program) that you can track your food on. So I can easily remove foods I don't eat, and add those that I spontaneously decide on eating. I think that a little planning will help me to control my portions and my snacking.
I know a lot of my problems come on those days when I don't plan ahead. We end up eating something quick from the freezer (usually fried up crispy) or something from a drive thru. I'm embarrassed to admit that I would often rather eat fast-food than I would cook something homemade (and healthier), especially after working 12-hours. It is just so difficult to get away from my nursing baby, that even on days when I don't work, it is a challenge to get in the kitchen and cook.
This is my vow to decrease my fast food consumption to less than once per week. I am pretty sure (though I haven't been keeping track) that we have had fast food once a week pretty regularly since Riley was born. And there were a couple times when we had it more than once in a week. (But there also were definitely weeks when we did not have any.) I know it isn't good for me, but it just tastes so good! I know my husband and myself well enough to know that cutting it out completely (at least right now) will not happen. But when we do decide to eat there, I will make better choices.
I made a goal today to lose 6 pounds over the next 8 weeks. :D I think I can, I think I can...
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