Have you heard this song?

"Laughed Until we Cried" by Jason Aldean

Goin’ through my closet the other day
I found an old yearbook
Flipped right to the page of that senior trip
Down there on that Panama strip
We all started yellin’ when we smelled the beach
Couldn't wait to try our fake I.D.’s
We only had a few days
And a whole lot of memories to make

Oh man we were livin’
Didn't waste one minute
We talked and drank and danced and said goodbye
We laughed until we cried

This past year my family
Was sittin’ cross-legged 'round the Christmas tree
Listenin’ to granddad
We all knew it probably be his last
He was crackin’ jokes and we were takin’ turns
Tellin’ stories ‘bout fishin’ or lessons learned
Out on the porch with him
We all felt like kids again

Oh man we were livin
Sittin' there reminiscin'
We sang and talked and traveled back in time
We laughed until we cried

It's like the best days under the sun
Every emotion rolled into one
A little of this a little of that
Kinda happy kinda sad

Just the other night the baby was cryin’
So I got out of bed rocked her awhile
And I held her tight
And I told her it would be all right
And my mind went back to a few years ago
When we tried so long
We almost gave up hope
And I remember you
Comin' in and tellin’ me the news

Oh man we were livin’
Goin’ crazy in the kitchen
We danced and screamed and held each other tight
We laughed until we cried

_________________
The other day I kind of started to freak out. But first some background:

In high school, my periods were infrequent. I would go about 2-3 months without having a period. And then I would have a period that would last about a week or so. At first I liked having a 2-3 month window. But then it started to bother me. I would never know when my period would start...and it always seemed that it would start when I wasn't expecting it to.

So I went and saw my doctor (I believe I was in college at the time probably sophomore year) and he ran some tests. He thought that I had polycystic ovary disease but they only symptom I had was infrequent periods. I didn't have severe acne, or facial hair. So he drew some labs and noticed that my hormones were opposite from where they should be. (At the time I didn't know anything about hormones, so I don't know what hormones he was talking about, nor do I know the results.)

But my doctor did say: "you might have a hard time getting pregnant" and "we will face that when you are trying to get pregnant."

He prescribed birth control pills to help make my periods regular, predictable, and shorter.

Now, I am realizing that I'm starting to get old. I will be 30 in no time at all. And I don't know if I'm going to be able to get pregnant on my own.

A friend of mine from nursing school posted a post on myspace the other day: she's pregnant again. She got married shortly after graduating from nursing school, and even though they didn't purposefully try to get pregnant, they did. Then, with her baby 5 months old, while using both BCP and condoms, they got pregnant again!

I am happy for her, (she is still getting used to the idea of being pregnant again) but so jealous that it came so easy for her. (And I do not want to be pregnant with a 5 month old ideally my kids will turn 2 years old before a new addition) But like I said she didn't mean to become pregnant that quickly...it just happened.

I am not actively trying right now. I don't have enough leave for work yet. I don't think we could afford none of my paychecks coming in. I would like to be living in a new house and married before we start trying, but Jamaal isn't sure that we will be able to afford to move yet. So he wants to stay where we are for another year....and so we are throwing money away waiting...we are throwing precious time away waiting...

and I leave you with some more lyrics:

"You're Gonna Miss This" by Trace Adkins

She was staring out the window
Of their SUV
Complaining, saying,
I cant wait to turn 18
She said, "I'll make my own money"
And I'll make my own rules"
Mama put the car in park
Out there in front of the school
And she kissed her head
And said 'I was just like you"

You're going to miss this
You're going to want this back
You're going to wish these days
Hadn't gone by so fast
These are some good times
So take a good look around
You may not know it now
But you're going to miss this

Before she knows it
She's a brand new bride
In her one bedroom apartment
And her daddy stops by
He tells her "It's a nice place"
She says "It'll do for now"
Starts talking about babies
And buying a house
Daddy shakes his head
And says "Baby just slow down"

Cause
You're going to miss this
You're going to want this back
You're going to wish these days
Hadn't gone by so fast
These are some good times
So take a good look around
You may not know it now
But you're going to miss this

Five years later
There's a plumber
Working on the water heater
Dogs barking, phones ringing
One kids crying, one kids screaming
She keeps apologizing
He says "They don't bother me.
I've got two babies of my own.
One's 36, one's 23.
It's hard to believe..."

But
You're going to miss this
You're going to want this back
You're going to wish these days
Hadn't gone by so fast
These are some good times
So take a good look around
You may not know it now
But you're going to miss this
You're going to miss this
Yeah you're going to miss this

______________
It's too bad Jamaal doesn't like country music...because it is the soundtrack of my life...