When it rains

it pours.

Yesterday at work, it seemed I could do no right. I felt like I was swimming in a sea of quick sand, the more I did the deeper I sunk down. By the end of my shift, I was suffocating.

"I'll be right back"s turned into 20 minutes. 30 minutes. An hour or more. The instant I stepped away from one patient another needed me, and while this happens often, it was something urgent or necessary. So a simple, I'll be there in a minute just wouldn't work.

From the worst nose bleed I've ever seen, to the inability to pee (and hurting because of a distended bladder). I was torn up.

I almost cried at least twice. And on my drive home as well.

I snapped at one anxious family member as I was getting 15 million requests all at once: "I'm a little overwhelmed right now. I need to focus on one task at a time." I'm honestly surprised I did not get a complaint out of the deal.

For some people you can only do so much before you want to gouge out your eyeballs and stuff them in your ears.

I thought for sure today would be the same. But it went much better. It was smooth, even with another world record bloody nose.

The difference today was the help I had. Instead of fighting the sand alone, I had many people off shore reaching out to pull me up.

It is amazing how one day can be so terrible, and the next everything goes well. I know at least one of you has felt this way recently.

I cannot, unlike some other nurses I work with, leave work without finishing my charting. Today I left on time. Yesterday 2 hours late. 2 hours extra after working a 12 hour shift. I did get my lunch break, because my lunch buddy took my phone and told me to go eat. (at 2pm, which is very late for me.) Today I had to drag myself out of bed, but I knew I had to think positive to get myself through my second, and last shift before 4 days off. (I requested to not have one of my patients from yesterday today, which made a huge difference.)

One of the contributing factors to my terrible day, is an issue that is plaguing our hospital at the moment. Usually, when patients press their "call bell" a light shows up outside their room, as well as on a monitor that looks like a map of the rooms. The monitor sends a message to the corresponding RN's phone to alert him (or her) that his patient is in need of assistance. For example, Room 6 presses their call light, a second later a light shows up on the monitor over the corresponding room, and a message is sent to the nurse that says "Room 6." Well the monitor got a virus, so that now the lights ring to the monitors, but not to the RN's phone. There are very few computers (for charting) near the monitors, so it is difficult to know when a patient is calling. This also makes the patients and families more difficult, because the call lights stay on for a little longer than usual.

All in all, I'm glad to have 4 days off ahead of my, but I do not look forward to working 5 days in a row next week, 3/5 of those days will be 12 hour shifts. If that isn't bad enough, I have only one day off afterwards....