It's the most wonderful time of the year!

As most of you know, this Christmas Eve signified a new chapter in my life. Jamaal asked me to marry him, and I said yes!

We have been together for 3-1/2 years now, and I honestly didn't think I would be too excited for an engagement. It is not that I didn't want to get married, I just did not think that an engagement would change anything. We live together and have now for a year, and I did not expect an engagement to change anything. Nor do I think a marriage will change much.

However, I was so excited when I saw the ring. I am now getting teary watching shows like "Say Yes to the Dress" (a show on TLC that follows brides to be as they search for their perfect wedding dress and a higher end dress store.) I also find myself getting teary as I think of the people I wish I could have shared this day with. My mom's parents, my dad's dad, and even my living grandma, who does not like to travel anymore, so I know she will not make it to my wedding.

So I guess I was wrong originally. The engagement did mean a lot to me, and has changed some things. I feel closer to him, which is crazy because like I said, not much has really change. There is now a new ring on my finger, and I'm allowed to look and contact people who might participate in our special day. Before, I had to hide the fact that I was looking up things. :D He knew what I was doing though. I guess one thing is changing: the world outside of our relationship, is beginning to recognize us as something that is socially acceptable. I am now not just Jamaal's girlfriend, I am his future wife. I am now almost family. One of his many Aunt's said "Now you're almost real family" after the announcement to his side of the family on Christmas Day. I was kind of offended at first, but I realize that she's right. My mom has said something similar about Jamaal. The engagement signifies our commitment to each other, and to our families. My nephews won't call us "Auntie Aubri and Jamaal." We will be "Auntie Aubri and Uncle Jamaal" (which sounds so weird!!)

I imagine that the wedding will change more than I originally thought, just as the engagement has changed things in ways I wasn't expecting.

So now on the fun part, the details...I'm sure that that is really what people wanted to hear about anyway, so I made you wade through the other boring stuff first. ;)

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Christmas Eve, Jamaal and I were having a very relaxing evening downstairs. He was playing video games, and I was watching as I made boxes out of paper to wrap gift cards in. (I was feeling pretty overwhelmed because I wanted to make 9 boxes, and it was taking me much longer than I thought it would.) I had 3-1/2 done when Jamaal went to let the girls inside.

Now I have to go on a tangent. As you recall, last Monday I stayed at the hospital overnight. When the girls were left alone while Jamaal was at work, they decided to be bad. Bacardi pulled down a brand new, 5 pound bag of flour, chewed a hole in the bag, and pulled it around the kitchen getting flour everywhere!!

The flour trail...this looks better than it truly was. We still have some flour residue on the floor, and on the walls, and on the cupboards, and on the stove....they must have had fun!

Bella with her floury beard!

"It wasn't me." The proof on her nose...

Both girls had flour on their noses, Jamaal gave them both baths, but the flour stayed in Bella's "beard" and face hairs. And since it got wet in the shower it formed a sort of plaster in her hairs. And being the dog that she is, the plaster gathered dirt so that she had a pretty ugly face.

So back now to the story.

As I was saying, Jamaal went to let the girls inside, and I was left downstairs working on the paper boxes. I heard Jamaal say "want a treat, Bella?" and "what's on your face?"

A little later, Jamaal called down the stairs and said "Call your dog, she's got something on her face." I called, and she came down the stairs, and I thought, "Hmm, her face looks the same to me. It has the same flour mess...maybe I'm missing something"

Because details tend to get missed by me...

I asked "Is there something different about her face" but I kind of trailed off at that moment, because I saw what I was supposed to see. Two shiny rings dangling from a ribbon tied around her neck. Jamaal came down the stairs and knelt next to me, as I asked "What's this around your neck, Bella?" Since I was crafting I had scissors nearby, so I snipped the ribbon and took the rings off. It is kind of funny because he never asked "will you marry me?" Instead I kind of played around and said "Are these Bella's rings?"

He called me a brat, and said they were wedding rings, and kissed me. It was fun. I unfortunately was in my pajamas still at the time from the night before, so I wasn't much up for picture time.

The rings (the engagement ring and the wedding band) were too big for my petite fingers so I had to wear them on a necklace all of Christmas day so that people could see them. I had to leave them overnight at the jewelers to have them sized to a 4-3/4 from a 7! I missed them both dearly, but did not want to lose them, my wise friend Kristina told me so...

While I was at the jewelers I also left a ring that Jamaal gave me for our 6th month anniversary that I lost a teensy diamond out of, they also cleaned it and made it soooo shiny it looks like a brand new ring. :D

I'm dreaming of a rainy christmas...

Much like the ones I used to know.

I am getting tired of the snow. It is currently snowing outside...adding to the foot of snow we already had. My mom says it is raining in federal way, so I'm hoping the rain comes soon. But I'm doubtful.

So on monday morning I went to work 3 hours late, the reason was that the snow was so deep I couldnt get out of my neighborhood. I have hills all over the place and they do not plow them either. So I needed to wait until other people had driven before attempting to go to work. I-5 was clear once I got there, but when I got to montlake, right by the hospital it was a mess again. I felt out of control a lot when driving from the exit to the parking lot I am supposed to park in. The bad news is that when I went into my parking lot, there was even more snow than on the road. And since there was so much snow, the cars were parking crooked so that it was difficult to get through them to park. So I went to a parking long that I'm technically not supposed to park in, and when I tried to maneuver the car, the front tires (front-wheel drive van) started spinning. I was stuck, and in the wrong parking lot. So I called security and they tell me I could have parked in a parking garage! Annoying....

Anyway, because of how messy it was getting in, I decided I didnt want to go home after 12 hours of work, and just wanted to sleep at the hospital. They set some people up in the Inn (a hotel) but they had to share a room. I was set up in the Crow's nest, which is where the residents go to sleep when they are on call, or just need a nap. It is like a very stingy dorm. The rooms are big enough to fit a small twin bed with about 3 feet around 2 sides of the bed. It smelt old up there. I was pretty cold, there was a baseboard heater, that was turned all the way up, but it didn't do much, and I had 3 hospital blankets (which are very light anyway) and my sweatshirt on with hood up. I got comfy enough to sleep.

It was not that bad. It sucked to stay at the hospital and then have to wear hospital issue blue scrubs all day (I like my colors) and feel disgusting from not showering, but it was better than facing the roads again.

On tuesday, I was given time off for my last 4 hours, but my charge made me stay for 1.5 hours to make sure things were settled (it was stupid, but whatever). And remember folks that my van was stuck in the parking lot on monday when I got there.

I remembered how much snow there was, and I brought a fractionated bed pan (visit the link for a picture and a little information about them; we use them for hip patients who aren't supposed to bend at the hip very far. and some others who can't handle the height of standard issue bed pan.) to help dig myself out. It worked well as a shovel, but it didnt matter how much I dug, (i could see the pavement) my tires would continue to spin. They were on patches of snow that had been compacted into ice...

When I realized I needed more help, I called the University Police, and an operator there told me they might be able to help, they would send someone with sand to help give me traction. About an hour later someone came. He put sand on my front tires, and still they continued to spin, so while I was pushing the gas a touch, (in reverse) he pushed from the front to help get me off that patch. It worked and away I went!

It was a very stressful event. All I wanted was to go home! I now have 7 days off and will be able to do some much needed relaxing! :D

SNOW!!

So yesterday we got quite a bit of snow at my house...but when I woke up we had only a sprinkling of snow. I had to go to work, and since we had so little snow, I thought "there probably isn't much snow in Seattle either..." I was soooo wrong. It took me 2 hours to get to work, and it normally takes about 30 minutes in traffic...I got on the freeway and shortly after everyone was stopped. It was a parking lot. I kept calling in to work, "I'm coming but it will take me a while..." I desperately wanted to turn around and go back home, because the more north I went the more snow there was. But after the boeing field, there are no exits that look safe to take. They all go uphill, steeply, and that means also downhill steeply. Many of the exits I passed were closed because of the snow....

So I just kept going. Once I got to work, I was like well, I might as well stay. Jamaal called me at noon saying that we were getting a lot of snow at home, and I should have just turned around and went home once I got to work. I asked him how was that helpful now...? It was done, I was at work...calling me to tell me how terrible it was out, wasn't going to help me. Fortunately I was only working an 8 hour shift, (but since I got there at 0830 (1.5 hours late) I only really worked for 7 hours.) That meant that I could get home before it got dark.

If you've been to my house, you know that it is set on a very steep hill. Our driveway is a hill. Our driveway goes out to a hill near the top of it, so pretty much, you have to go up a hill to get to our house. Well I knew I would not even try to go up it in my van. My plan was to park at the park and ride near our house. But Jamaal didn't want the van to sit there for a day...so he made me drive to his work instead. Which was very scary too....I made it no problem. But had probably 10 anxiety attacks during the drive.

Now I have to go to work tomorrow and I don't know how I'm going to get my van to go to work...

So here I am stranded at my house, with my girls...my little arctic fox, loves the snow, she is a perfect snow dog. Bella on the other hand, likes the snow, but can only take so much before she is waiting at the door. I think she is just a touch cold...

Bacardi scratching at the door to go out...
Bella in the snow

Our big backyard...

Where's Bacardi at??? She must have found an apple to eat...or poop...or something gross, I choose to be ignorant...

Can you find her? She's actually pooping here, but she looked so cute peeking from behind a tree I couldn't resist...

Hop hop hopping!

Prints on my porch...

I'm baaaaack....

Well last you heard from me I was sick...and I was going to finish the story of my Thanksgiving day. I was sick for 2.5 weeks. I had fevers off an on for a week and a half. It was so concerning to me that I actually went to the doctor for it. I wanted to make sure I didn't have an ear infection or anything that required antibiotics. She told me that I had a cold, and if it didn't start to go away in a few days that I should fill a prescription for an antibiotic. (I probably should have gotten that antibiotic, because a few days turned into a week) But my immune system is now stronger for all that work! :D This week was the first week that I actually felt better. I could breathe through my nose again (at times) and I didn't have too terrible of a cough. I was coughing up greenish yellow junk, but now it is mostly just gelantinized clear phlegm. I hope no one was eating, or thinking about eating while reading this. (unless you are a nurse, in that case you don't care!) Many people at work are now sick. I ended up calling in ill once and calling off my last 4 hours of a 12 hour shift one day. Being sick ate up my benefit time! :D I want that time for important things like a honeymoon and maternity leave, and heaven forbid a possible surgery.

So I'm hoping that now, I've gotten this whole being sick thing out of my system, and it won't happen again for me in like a year or more! :D

On to my Thanksgiving adventures. Once we were all finished with dinner at my parents house, I got out a few costumes I had purchased at Target for $2.50 each....

Bella, as Mrs. Claws and Shadow as a very sensitive reindeer. (You'll see what I mean in a few pictures)

Shadow and Bacardi, the Christmas Elf.

Bacardi the Christmas Elf. She was the best poser there. She is usually all over the place but once the costume was on she calmed right down.


Here she looks very hoity toity. Like, "I am too good for the likes of you". Either that or she is glaring at some one...."take this ugly thing off of me!"


Bella jumping for joy! "I am so excited for Christmas Mom!"

Shadow is fine as a reindeer, as long has her hood isn't on...
Once the hood goes on, she pouts. "you are laughing at me not with me!" She literally will lay down and stay there until someone feels bad enough to take the hood off of her. She can't see so she just gives up..."nobody likes me everybody hates me, guess I'll go eat worms..."

Bacardi is looking up at my mom...."please help Shadow with her hood..."



Bella checking Shadow out. It was really funny...once all of the costumes were on. The dogs had to sniff each others butts to make sure they weren't eaten by an elf, deer or lady...

They did much better with the costumes on than I was expecting. It was very entertaining....

I never get sick

Never! But for some reason this week I decided to catch a cold...On Wednesday before Thanksgiving, I was fine all day at work until 5pm exactly, when, I started sneezing like crazy. (Now I do sneeze crazily all the time, I sound like a poodle, or a small dog barking.) But this was different. I could not stop, and when I did I only had like a 5 minute break in between bunches of sneezes. My throat felt itchy, and my nose was running. I thought that it was an allergic reaction, but on thanksgiving morning I felt just as bad. I thought that I should call in sick, but I thought that if I did the unit would be short staffed, and it is hard to get people to come in on a holiday. So I was going to truck on through. Sick or not. At 0620, as I was saying to myself "Aubri, you need to get going." My cell phone rang. I've said this before but when my phone rings that early, I know it is work calling to say stay home! I was so thankful! I was not fit to be working, because not only was I sick, but I was also sore from working out. And when you have a cold, aches and pains seem so much worse.

I was also thankful, because this meant that I would be able to see Jamaal's family as well for Thanksgiving. Since I was going to be working we decided that he would meet me at my parent's house after he had already been to his grandma's house in Tacoma. I was not looking forward to driving all by myself from work, to my house to change, and then on to my parents house, and then driving home again.

As it was, I was able to go with Jamaal and his brother to my parent's house first to drop off the girls (I did not want the girls to be left alone all day on Thanksgiving!) then, we went to Jamaal's parent's house to drop off his brother's luggage (Jamaal picked him up from the airport at midnight the night before) and meet up with their parents. And off we went to grandma's house. Jamaal's mom has 8 brothers and sisters, and most of them were there at one point in time, I think one brother did not come. You can imagine that he has a ton of family, many many cousins, and I still have a hard time keeping them straight. (even after 3 years!) I know the ones I see the most. Anyway it was a good time. Jamaal's dad made the turkeys and they were fabulous! So juicy and he seasoned it well.

Off we went to my parents house after a few hours at grandma's. My mom was mad at me for not calling her when I found out I wasn't working. (It was 0620 and I thought that I didn't want to wake them up) Besides I sent an email to my dad telling him the story because he usually gets up at like 0600 even on days when he does not work. Well she did not get the memo...and she was upset with me...even though I told her that even though I was not working I would probably get to her house around the same time as if I had worked since we went to Grandma's...

Anyway she got over it quickly, and we had a good meal there with my parents and my aunt. (I say "we" but I was the only one who ate. I just had turkey and a roll at Grandma's house, because I told my parents I would eat with them. Jamaal ate at Grandma's.)

By the time I got to my parent's house, I was really beginning to notice my cold. And my arms and shoulders were so sore I was beginning to be miserable!

I will show some pictures later, but all in all, it was a good night. I had the worst time trying to fall asleep, but the benedryl I took helped a lot. The rest of the story will come, I just keep walking away from this post, and now it is time for bed...

On my way to being Chemo certified!

Well today was the last day of a 2 day course on chemotherapy. The course was rough: we trucked through a 1 inch thick (at least) book in less than 12 hours. And then, to make matters more stressful, in order to become certified, you must take a test at the end of the second day.

Fortunately it was open book, but if you don't know the book very well, it would be difficult to find the answers in 90 minutes. 50 questions total, and you can only miss 10!

I was nervous in anticipation, but I had faith that I would pass it.

Oddly enough I was reminded of college. And how much stress it was to prepare for tests. How I often felt nervous before the test, only to have relief directly after the test. Most of the time I did well. Better than I felt I would do before the test.

And today was no different. Last night I went over all my notes in my book, and reorganized. They gave post-its that were the small ones, but bigger than a simple skinny tab. And it was a mess. I couldnt read anything because they overlapped. So I used my skinny tabs, made sure they didn't overlap, and went crazy. Mostly I did it so I would know the book, and would know where to find things.

It paid off. I missed 2 questions. One of which was obvious afterwards, it was one of the first questions and had I gone over it before turning it in, I would have caught it. But since i looked up pretty much every answer, I didn't want to go over the questions again.

What a sigh of relief!

Now, all I have left is a "skills day" on december 5th where we will go over the how-to's and have a more hands on day for chemo administration.

That means I have a good two weeks before I actually start giving chemotherapy on the floor. Which gives me time to absorb and review the information and get used to the idea of administering toxins to people...

TMI post follows...

So you will probably think this is TMI, but don't say I didn't warn you...



Yesterday at work, I was having bladder spasms. Not too often. Just once in a while it would happen more often if I leaned forward while in a sitting position. The spasms were terrible though, the pain would shoot up from my bladder up through my sternum (the middle cartilage/bone in your chest...). From that I knew I had a bladder infection.

The weird thing is that that was the only symptom I had. (Except for a dull pain in my bladder while driving home from work) Normally there is pain or burning with urination, feeling like you have to pee all the time,

I knew I had to do something. So I called my doctor, who is located in Federal Way, during my commute home after work. It was 4pm when I called them. I knew I wouldn't be able to make it to Federal Way thursday or friday, so I opted for an appointment on saturday of this week. When I was talking with the receptionist, however she mentioned that they accept walk-ins for things like bladder infections, but they only accept walk-ins until 4:30pm. I settled for an appointment at 9am on saturday.

The more I drove, the more my bladder hurt. The more I thought "what if I wait until saturday and the infection moves to my kidneys? what if I need to be admitted to the hospital? what if I have to have fluids and IV antibiotics, and I have to call Jamaal to bring in stamping supplies to me so I'm not bored...what if..." You see my point? Mostly only a nurse would think like that...or someone who is familiar with the way these things go...

So I decide that I am going to try to make it to federal way from seattle by 4:30. Traffic was on my side. It was at least moving. (unlike today, which is a completely different story!) But by the time I hit the 320th exit, it was nearly 4:30. My exit was the next one after that. And it would probably take 5-8 minutes for me to get to my clinic. So I decide, I'll call the clinic and ask if I could get squeezed in. The receptionist checked with the "nurse" (I say it in quotes because they call medical assistants nurses...which appalls me, only because I have worked hard for my title...) and it was okay for me to squeeze in just after 4:30. (it was 4:33 when I arrived at the clinic.)

Peed in a cup, and sure enough it was positive. So the MA, asked if I wanted to fill my Rx here or at my pharmacy. I asked if there was a difference, and since there wasn't much of one, opted to take my Rx from the clinic.

She left me in a room, and I thought..."crap, I hope they don't only have Penicillin drugs or sulfa drugs" and she came back only to say, "what we have here, you are allergic to."

I guess I could have predicted that!

So now I am on an antibiotic for 7 days? or perhaps 14 days...BID.

Yesterday I felt terrible. I was fatigued, so much so that I wanted to go to bed at 8pm. But I stayed awake 1 hour longer to get something done. My bladder was sore, and I had a few more spasms. But I was definately not up to snuff. Today I feel better, the pain isn't as bad, but I still notice it. Fortunately I had my chemo class today, which made me drink plenty of water, and go to the bathroom often!

I hope my symptoms are gone tomorrow! That would just be wonderful...although now I am feeling slightly nauseated from the antibiotics...you just can't win I guess!

How I got my bladder infection: At work, I "forget" to pee. I get busy with patients' tasks, and multiple requests, that I forget about my own needs. So I end up going from 7am to 1 or 2 pm without peeing. So that means the urine sat in my bladder, and some sort of bacteria snuck it's way up my urethra, and grew a huge family of bacteria.

This is why it is important to pee often Ladies!! :D