Today I forced myself to go in and get weighed. I was a little disappointed, because my home scale read 3-4 pounds lighter, but I dealt with it. It is my starting point. It is my kick-start to get losing.
Graham will be 4 weeks tomorrow. And I have 24 pounds to lose. That's about 1.5 pounds a week if I do it as quickly as before. Full disclosure: I raised my goal weight by a few pounds, because I was finding it difficult to maintain the original weight I picked before I got pregnant. I only raised it by 3 pounds, because I would rather be happy and healthy, than stressed and healthy. :P And hey, if I'm able to lose more and maintain it this time, I'll go for that too. :)
But honestly, I'm really not ready to start this weight loss journey. Junk food tastes good! Sweets make me happy. Celebrations are on their way! Halloween. Thanksgiving. Riley's 3rd birthday! Christmas. Plus Fall brings so many comfort foods and baked goods. And I love baking.
I told myself I would not find myself right back here, but here I am again. I went back and read all my posts related to weight loss, and wouldn't you know, the same themes and feelings are current in my life now. The first one is here.
Here I am post baby #2 and I'm not happy with my outward appearance. I look at myself in the mirror and I'm disgusted. I do not feel attractive, naked or clothed. I fear it will have some affect on the already strained relationship with my husband. So you would think that my motivation would be there. That I would be driven to lose, and yet the opposite is true. I'm clinging to food like it is a long lost friend. (After having gestational diabetes yet again, in some ways food is a long lost friend.) But I know that I should not use food as an outlet for my emotions; as a blanket to comfort me. I know. I have been here before. I know the journey. I know the program works. I know I'll feel and look amazing once the weight is off. But it seems like an eternity away. And homemade Oreo ice cream tastes good in the here and now.
In many ways I'm nervous that the weight won't come off like it did before. I'm also scared that the flabby belly I'm carrying around with me won't shrink back down. Why didn't I take pictures of my body after I lost the weight before? (I know why I didn't take before pictures, but now I wish I had them. Because I'm sure my body looks similar now, but I don't remember it ever being this bad.)
And then I need to remember that when I joined Weight Watchers, Riley was 9 months old. I had my fill of baked goods and fast food, and was tired of hoping the weight would fall off. I see it all the time on Facebook: My baby is 6 weeks old and I'm back in my pre-pregnancy jeans! or After 2 months I can say I weigh less than I did before I got pregnant!
And perhaps these ladies only gained the 15-20 pounds that the books tell you is healthy. (Though I just looked it up and the Mayo Clinic says 25-35 pounds is healthy for a person of normal BMI before getting pregnant.) I didn't do as bad as I thought. But...full disclosure...I gained 45 extra pounds. My willpower is awfully weak. (And my first trimester nausea is not strong enough!) But, hey! I'm consistent. I gained 45 pounds with Riley as well. I told myself I wouldn't...and honestly I did do better this time with my food choices, but here I am. And I have digressed, but I really do have to think about un-friending, and or hiding the aforementioned lucky ladies. (Just so you know, it takes a lot of willpower for me to not use a curse word to describe them.) :) But seriously, they should be happy, but seeing their good fortune just makes me focus on how I am not as lucky.
Where am I going with this?
This is my honest post on my weight loss journey. My struggles. Because it is okay to have ups and downs with weight. Because it is okay for someone who made Lifetime status to struggle too. Because I am human too. And I will lose this weight.
I went in today, despite not wanting to see that number on the scale, in order to hold myself accountable. I've been weighing myself at home and I have had some weight loss, but the last couple weeks I've been pretty stable. So I suppose it is time to get serious and start tracking. I mentioned before that I read over all of the weight loss posts that I shared before, and I found this (It was in a post after my first weight loss, I lost 1.6 pounds but was a little disappointed, expecting more of a loss.):
"And then I sat down and the meeting was exactly what I needed to hear. The leader read a poem about a pound of fat. The message was that people tend to say "I only lost a pound." Or "it was just a pound." And saying things like that make it seem like it isn't an accomplishment. When really the weight will be lost one pound at a time. She then equated it to a puzzle, and how a person doesn't approach a puzzle thinking they will throw several pieces together at a time; instead a person approaches a puzzle with one piece at a time. Obviously I have truncated the message, but hopefully you get the idea." (You can find the post here)
So, here I go. One puzzle piece at a time.
Showing posts with label Pregnancy #2. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Pregnancy #2. Show all posts
Thursday, September 5, 2013
Tuesday, September 3, 2013
Graham Edwin: The Birth Story
If you remember, I was very frustrated with how this pregnancy was going. I had agreed to an induction, but was getting denied the opportunity to go into the hospital. They kept telling me to call in, and every time they would say, call back in a couple hours. It was mentally draining. I was struggling with the concept. I shed many, many tears. My sleep was interrupted on Wednesday, as they told me to call in at 6 am, 9 am, and 11 am. Finally, at 11 am they gave me a check in time of 1 pm. If they didn't call me before then.
Finally relief! I showered, packed up our stuff, and we were on our way.
The issue: the hospital went "live" with electronic charting and orders on the Saturday before, so everything in the hospital was slower than normal. (And, I assume, the staffing ratios were even more important to keep low, since the nurses had a lot of new stuff to watch out for.)
We were checked into our room, and an hour later I received the first dose of cytotec, a pill. Cytotec is used to start labor by softening the cervix. After talking with the nurse about my first labor and delivery, she told me that Riley's birth was also an induction. I never considered that, since my water spontaneously broke. However, since contractions needed help to really get started, with cytotec, it was considered an induction.
I was given my first dose at 2:45pm. It is given every 3 hours. I had to be monitored for 1 hour after taking it, but then was allowed to walk and leave the floor. It was nice to be able to walk around and feel like a normal person. Unfortunately, the cytotec didn't do much as far as changing my cervix. I was at 1-2cm when I arrived at the hospital, and after 2 doses, I was at a 2. My contractions were irregular, and mostly mild. At 11 pm the new night nurse came in to meet me. She said that the midwife was on her way in, and we would find out if I would be staying in the hospital or going home.
I was not too excited to hear this. She said sometimes cytotec doesn't work, and mothers can go home for a couple days until labor starts. I was ready to put up a fight. Sure, my contractions weren't regular. But I wasn't always comfortable. How would I know to come back in?
So, I was left to labor for a while as we waited for the midwife to come. It was 1245 before I saw my nurse again. I still hadn't seen a midwife, but my contractions were still there. Irregular, but there. My nurse tells me that the midwife says I get to stay. And she is going to start me on pitocin. So she had to start an IV.
The first attempt was painful, and unfortunately she wasn't successful. I was praying that her second attempt would be a success, because I didn't want to go all "nurse" on her. The cannulas they use feel like they are as big as a drinking straw, I swear! The second IV was just as painful, but it was a success. So, she started up the pitocin. I was a bit nervous. Pitocin makes the contractions more regular, but they are unnatural. Now, I was supposed to stay on the monitor, which meant I was supposed to stay in bed. The contractions really started picking up. For me at least. They were quite painful. All I wanted to do was get up and move. My nurse, when she was in there, was very helpful in telling me to let the contractions be. My gut reaction was to tighten and fight the contractions. I felt like I had to go to the bathroom every 30 minutes or so, so I would walk the short distance to the bathroom.
I had the typical bowel movement, and I began realizing I was starting labor. But I was trying to be quiet about it. I felt like the monitor was showing mild contractions, and if I was whining about them I was just being a baby. So I tried to be as quiet and stoic about them as possible.
But eventually I wore down. I was snappy at my mom at times, which was a completely different experience from when I was laboring with Riley. With Riley I pretty much asked for the epidural once contractions started, so the rest of my labor I was comfortable and a little medicated.
My mother-in-law had a flight to catch. She had delayed it when we though I was going in on Tuesday, thinking she would get to meet the baby, then leave the following day. But now it was looking as if she wouldn't get to meet him after all. She had a car coming to pick her up at our house at 5:30am. Just before 4:00am, she decides she needs to leave. So she and Jamaal leave to go get her car. It was while they were gone that I asked my nurse: "What do I need to be to get an epidural?" She said at least 4cm dilated. She went to get the midwife, to see if she wanted to be the one to check me. So, I went to the bathroom. Sitting on the toilet I chanted: Please be a 4! Please be a 4! I was ready to relax.
The nurse came back 10 minutes later (which felt like an eternity) saying that the midwife was in a delivery, so she would be the one to check me. I was at a 5 or a 6, and my bag of water was bulging. Whew! "Epidural it up!" I said. But first she had to run a bolus of fluid in. And she increased the rate of the IV fluids. Time seemed to stop. It was 4:00am at this point. Jamaal got back in the room around 4:20. They sent my mom out of the room saying that only one family member could be there while the epidural was being placed.
At around 4:30 or so people started coming in to get the room ready. And they set me up on the side of the bed. The anesthesiologist came in the room and immediately went on the computer. He started asking me questions, but at this point my contractions were bad enough that I really could not talk through them. And they seemed to be on top of each other, so I was having a rough time answering. I was very irritated with the guy, but didn't want to be mean to him because he had the drugs.
Finally they got me positioned, and he started prepping me. At 4:45am a lot of things happened. He had the epidural needle in my back and I said "Uh oh." Everyone in the room stopped. For a second it was silent. They asked me what was wrong and my water broke. The reason I said "uh oh" was I had an overwhelming desire to push. So much so that I really could not fight it. My eyes were huge as I looked to my nurse who was helping me to stay in position. She calmed me down, told me to make small grunts if I had to push, but that was impossible. It was like putting a starving person in front of a buffet and telling them to not eat. I was panicked. My worst fear realized: having no pain relief for the delivery. The anesthesiologist started to speed things up. He got the catheter in, and gave me a bolus of numbing medicine and some fentanyl. I felt some relief. But I still felt like pushing. It was then that my nurse told me that once he was done, we would swing my legs over onto the bed, and start pushing. You're going to have a baby, they kept saying but I was still worried. How the heck was I going to make it through this!?
Meanwhile, my mom was out in the waiting area. When my water broke, there was quite a commotion. I believe that is when the midwife got in the room, and people started breaking the bed down. She heard the noise and got back to my room as quick as she could. Someone at the door stopped her from coming in. Asked her who she was, (she responded with "Mom") And they asked Jamaal if "mom" could come in, and he said yes. I was too busy trying (unsuccessfully) to keep from pushing.
And my nurse was right. The nurses helped me swing my legs back on the bed, and the midwife checked be and confirmed that I was ready to push. I want to say I pushed for a total of 5 contractions. In between one of them I said "Riley is my favorite." :) I was joking of course, but this delivery for sure hurt worse than Riley's. The midwife was very helpful, and my nurse was right there talking me through it. At 5:13am Graham Edwin Neagle was born. He cried immediately. And apparently had his hand at his face, so the midwife is certain he would have been out sooner if he had his arms at his sides.
I didn't tear or need stitches, which was a relief. The midwife and I introduce ourselves to each other. She had come in the room to meet me, little did she know she would be delivering my baby first. :) He was, and is, perfect.
Finally relief! I showered, packed up our stuff, and we were on our way.
The issue: the hospital went "live" with electronic charting and orders on the Saturday before, so everything in the hospital was slower than normal. (And, I assume, the staffing ratios were even more important to keep low, since the nurses had a lot of new stuff to watch out for.)
We were checked into our room, and an hour later I received the first dose of cytotec, a pill. Cytotec is used to start labor by softening the cervix. After talking with the nurse about my first labor and delivery, she told me that Riley's birth was also an induction. I never considered that, since my water spontaneously broke. However, since contractions needed help to really get started, with cytotec, it was considered an induction.
I was given my first dose at 2:45pm. It is given every 3 hours. I had to be monitored for 1 hour after taking it, but then was allowed to walk and leave the floor. It was nice to be able to walk around and feel like a normal person. Unfortunately, the cytotec didn't do much as far as changing my cervix. I was at 1-2cm when I arrived at the hospital, and after 2 doses, I was at a 2. My contractions were irregular, and mostly mild. At 11 pm the new night nurse came in to meet me. She said that the midwife was on her way in, and we would find out if I would be staying in the hospital or going home.
I was not too excited to hear this. She said sometimes cytotec doesn't work, and mothers can go home for a couple days until labor starts. I was ready to put up a fight. Sure, my contractions weren't regular. But I wasn't always comfortable. How would I know to come back in?
So, I was left to labor for a while as we waited for the midwife to come. It was 1245 before I saw my nurse again. I still hadn't seen a midwife, but my contractions were still there. Irregular, but there. My nurse tells me that the midwife says I get to stay. And she is going to start me on pitocin. So she had to start an IV.
The first attempt was painful, and unfortunately she wasn't successful. I was praying that her second attempt would be a success, because I didn't want to go all "nurse" on her. The cannulas they use feel like they are as big as a drinking straw, I swear! The second IV was just as painful, but it was a success. So, she started up the pitocin. I was a bit nervous. Pitocin makes the contractions more regular, but they are unnatural. Now, I was supposed to stay on the monitor, which meant I was supposed to stay in bed. The contractions really started picking up. For me at least. They were quite painful. All I wanted to do was get up and move. My nurse, when she was in there, was very helpful in telling me to let the contractions be. My gut reaction was to tighten and fight the contractions. I felt like I had to go to the bathroom every 30 minutes or so, so I would walk the short distance to the bathroom.
I had the typical bowel movement, and I began realizing I was starting labor. But I was trying to be quiet about it. I felt like the monitor was showing mild contractions, and if I was whining about them I was just being a baby. So I tried to be as quiet and stoic about them as possible.
But eventually I wore down. I was snappy at my mom at times, which was a completely different experience from when I was laboring with Riley. With Riley I pretty much asked for the epidural once contractions started, so the rest of my labor I was comfortable and a little medicated.
My mother-in-law had a flight to catch. She had delayed it when we though I was going in on Tuesday, thinking she would get to meet the baby, then leave the following day. But now it was looking as if she wouldn't get to meet him after all. She had a car coming to pick her up at our house at 5:30am. Just before 4:00am, she decides she needs to leave. So she and Jamaal leave to go get her car. It was while they were gone that I asked my nurse: "What do I need to be to get an epidural?" She said at least 4cm dilated. She went to get the midwife, to see if she wanted to be the one to check me. So, I went to the bathroom. Sitting on the toilet I chanted: Please be a 4! Please be a 4! I was ready to relax.
The nurse came back 10 minutes later (which felt like an eternity) saying that the midwife was in a delivery, so she would be the one to check me. I was at a 5 or a 6, and my bag of water was bulging. Whew! "Epidural it up!" I said. But first she had to run a bolus of fluid in. And she increased the rate of the IV fluids. Time seemed to stop. It was 4:00am at this point. Jamaal got back in the room around 4:20. They sent my mom out of the room saying that only one family member could be there while the epidural was being placed.
At around 4:30 or so people started coming in to get the room ready. And they set me up on the side of the bed. The anesthesiologist came in the room and immediately went on the computer. He started asking me questions, but at this point my contractions were bad enough that I really could not talk through them. And they seemed to be on top of each other, so I was having a rough time answering. I was very irritated with the guy, but didn't want to be mean to him because he had the drugs.
Finally they got me positioned, and he started prepping me. At 4:45am a lot of things happened. He had the epidural needle in my back and I said "Uh oh." Everyone in the room stopped. For a second it was silent. They asked me what was wrong and my water broke. The reason I said "uh oh" was I had an overwhelming desire to push. So much so that I really could not fight it. My eyes were huge as I looked to my nurse who was helping me to stay in position. She calmed me down, told me to make small grunts if I had to push, but that was impossible. It was like putting a starving person in front of a buffet and telling them to not eat. I was panicked. My worst fear realized: having no pain relief for the delivery. The anesthesiologist started to speed things up. He got the catheter in, and gave me a bolus of numbing medicine and some fentanyl. I felt some relief. But I still felt like pushing. It was then that my nurse told me that once he was done, we would swing my legs over onto the bed, and start pushing. You're going to have a baby, they kept saying but I was still worried. How the heck was I going to make it through this!?
Meanwhile, my mom was out in the waiting area. When my water broke, there was quite a commotion. I believe that is when the midwife got in the room, and people started breaking the bed down. She heard the noise and got back to my room as quick as she could. Someone at the door stopped her from coming in. Asked her who she was, (she responded with "Mom") And they asked Jamaal if "mom" could come in, and he said yes. I was too busy trying (unsuccessfully) to keep from pushing.
And my nurse was right. The nurses helped me swing my legs back on the bed, and the midwife checked be and confirmed that I was ready to push. I want to say I pushed for a total of 5 contractions. In between one of them I said "Riley is my favorite." :) I was joking of course, but this delivery for sure hurt worse than Riley's. The midwife was very helpful, and my nurse was right there talking me through it. At 5:13am Graham Edwin Neagle was born. He cried immediately. And apparently had his hand at his face, so the midwife is certain he would have been out sooner if he had his arms at his sides.
I didn't tear or need stitches, which was a relief. The midwife and I introduce ourselves to each other. She had come in the room to meet me, little did she know she would be delivering my baby first. :) He was, and is, perfect.
Graham Edwin Neagle
Born 8/8/2013 at 5:13am
7 lbs 10 oz
18.25" long
Tuesday, August 6, 2013
The waiting game
I knew it was silly of me to expect the same birth story with my second pregnancy as my first. I knew I was being optimistic imagining my water breaking at 38 weeks, yet again. My midwife called me last weekend, because she realized we hadn't talked about induction, and she was not going to be the one to see me at my next appointment. It was weird to get her call. But I refused. No induction for me. Don't you know what an induction means? More pain. More monitoring. More expectations, in less time. Equaling a higher chance of cesarean.
Besides, it doesn't matter. I'm going to have this baby tomorrow. I've been having contractions. Sometimes to the point where I figure I will be woken up in lots of pain, and have to throw everything in the car. Call someone to either come over and sleep so Riley can be left in his bed. Or stow him away in his car seat and have someone take him away for us. Children really make this whole labor thing a bit more complicated.
But a week went by and my cervix didn't change. And then I realized I was almost full term. Being gestational diabetic, I knew they were going to force me to be induced if I didn't agree to it anyway. And I started to realize I was tired of this whole situation. My ankles are huge. We're talking the size of grapefruits. And my calves are just as big. You know they're big when people comment on the size of them. As if I don't already know. I can't cross my legs, sit on the floor, wash my feet, paint my toenails, or wear any shoes except for flip flops that I bought two sizes too big. I can't even go to the bathroom without underwear dents in my legs afterwards. In some respect, I've hoped for elevated blood pressures just so they would have to induce me. But I'm thankful that it is not. Pre-eclampsia is very dangerous for both baby and mom, and I really do not wish it on anyone. But sometimes, in desperation, I've had these thoughts.
Knowing that my midwife is on call on Tuesdays I called in this Monday to request an induction. They squeezed me in to be seen. The hospital requires a consent and a vaginal exam be done prior to scheduling anything. I was at about the same. Not much of a change. If any at all. They gave me an appointment at 7pm for the next day.
We took Riley to his first theater movie. We visited with family. I called at 5pm as instructed, and was told that they anticipate getting me in later that night, but to call again at 7:30pm. My parents came and got him for dinner, as they will keep him overnight for us. And I call as instructed, and they are having a hard time finding the charge nurse. Can they call me back? After waiting for about 15 minutes, they call me back and tell me that they are just too full. But they could call me in the middle of the night, if I wanted. Or I could call them at 6am. No joke I sat on the phone for 8 minutes thinking about what I wanted. The lady on the other end explained my options a couple times, probably to fill the awkward silence as I thought. I would have the opportunity to see my midwife if I went in tonight. But she is off at 7 am, and would likely not be the one delivering my baby anyway. And in this situation we would have interrupted sleep, or none at all as I would be waiting for the phone call, trying not to sleep too deeply. But calling in at 6am? My midwife won't see me at all. It will be someone unknown to me. I hope that it is someone nice. But it is a big let down to know that Jennifer will not be there. I really trust her. She is fun and friendly and reminds me a lot of my other midwife who delivered Riley. And then there is the thought that I still might not get a time. This type of waiting is much much worse. I was already anxious about being induced. And now that anxiety is just prolonged. I have appointments on Thursday, and at this point I anticipate going to them.
And finally, my mother-in-law postponed her work trip until Thursday so that she can be there for the birth. And now, I'm beginning to wonder if she will get to meet him or not. I have been a wreck ever since I got off the phone with the hospital. I went shopping this afternoon for some carbohydrates. I figured I would be craving them after the delivery, and would finally be able to eat whatever I desire. But again there is a delay. And then there is the heartburn that just won't go away. Ugh. I swear I never felt this over being pregnant with Riley. I guess that is what happens when you give birth a few weeks early.
I hope to have a happy post up on here in a couple days, but for now you will have to deal with my pity party for one.
Thursday, July 25, 2013
Updates
-1-
The other night I came to the realization that I have no idea what it will be like when labor starts. With Riley, my water broke. I didn't have contractions immediately prior. I was eating a bratwurst on the couch, preparing for a night shift of work, and thought I wet myself a little bit. Went to the bathroom and while I was washing my hands, I realized I was still leaking. From that moment on, it was a whirlwind. I have mentioned this to a few people and they all laugh at me and say "You'll know." But come on people, women get sent home everyday for false labor. I don't want that to be me!
-2-
This upcoming Saturday marks the longest I've ever been pregnant. This is difficult for me to deal with. I've been ready to go for weeks. Last week I was having pretty obnoxious contractions. They weren't horribly painful, but they were uncomfortable. But this week I'm having hardly any. Makes me think this baby just doesn't want to come out. My midwife has "threatened" induction if I don't go on my own. With gestational diabetes they get nervous that the baby will get too big. So I am a bit paranoid.
-3-
My mom is out of town until late Sunday or Monday. So it would be ideal for her if he were to wait until then. I'm scheduled to work Sunday thru Tuesday this week for my last shifts at work, and I really dread it. I think I'll go in on Sunday but call it quits for Monday and Tuesday. We'll see though. I really don't want to "waste" my time off without a little newborn. Because that just means he will be even younger when I return.
-4-
This heat has caught up with me. Today was the first time I was really uncomfortable. I had to run to Target to get an air pump so we could set up the pool. Then the hose water was so cold that I could only stand in it with the water to my mid-calf. It was painful at first, but felt so good after a few minutes. It helped to cool me down. Riley, was not impressed though. He put a toe in, then lifted his legs up saying "up! up!" (I was holding him). He wanted to play in it, but didn't want to get cold. So tomorrow should be better for us. It won't be quite so cold. Just watch it be 65 degrees tomorrow.
-5-
I'm having lots of dreams of sweets and carbs. Pies. Cakes. Candy. Ice cream. I want everything. Anything. I can have small amounts of them, but for the most part I stay away. I found that Balance Bar has a Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough protein bar that fills my "candy" craving and doesn't mess my sugars up. I've gone through 3 boxes already. (they have 6 in a box) To be fair, Riley has helped a little. But for the most part, I try to hide that I'm eating them from him. They are too good to share! :)
Friday, June 21, 2013
Woe is me.
Gestational Diabetes is difficult. I remember now, all of those thoughts I had shoved into the deep dark corners of my mind. The difficult, trying times I had when pregnant before, that I forced myself to forget about. There's something about a beautiful, warm, wiggly infant that makes you forget everything terrible that happened when he was forming in the womb. I was incredibly hopeful that I might not be diagnosed with GD this time though.
And, okay, my blood sugars are pretty well controlled. I was just barely diagnosed this time. (Meaning I only had one elevated blood sugar during the 2-hour test and it was only a smidge over, but it only takes one elevated blood sugar to diagnose a lady.)
I am better now, at keeping myself satisfied. The first go around I had no understanding of protein. It was difficult for me because my diet before I got pregnant consisted mostly of carbohydrates. This time, my diet was more well rounded. That being said, I still wish I could have a pan of brownies on my stove without worrying that I won't be able to stay away from them. Last night, Riley saw a box that holds a cupcake display on my kitchen table (I borrowed it from my mom for Riley's birthday and haven't returned it yet...) It has pictures of different types of cupcakes being displayed and he said "Cars cupcakes in there?" But cupcakes really comes out something like "cuh-kays." He remembered his birthday cupcakes that had McQueen and Mater on them. Then he really badly wanted to make some. And so did I. But I knew that if I made a bunch of cupcakes, I would also want to eat a bunch of cupcakes, and it is better that I don't right now.
It is kind of funny to me, in a sick way. When I was on Weight Watchers, I could have "dangerous" things in my house. I could make brownies for my husband. I could have made cupcakes for Riley. And I might have had some, but I would have stopped at one. And might not even be tempted, depending on how many points I had available. Whereas now, I don't think I could resist. It is what I crave the most, and my will power is wearing thin. The difference is right now what I eat doesn't just affect me. It also will affect this little wiggly baby. I do not want him to be a huge newborn, and keeping my sugars in control will help that. But also I don't want to have to stay longer in the hospital if his blood sugars won't regulate. And I don't want them to make me supplement if I can help it.
I'm planning my first meals right now, though they might change later on down the road. You better believe a milk shake is one of the first things on my list.
That being said, I'm finding out that sometimes carbs aren't really necessary: I had a lettuce wrapped burger the other day that was really quite tasty! So I was able to have onion rings with it, since I didn't waste my carbohydrates on the bun. It was one of the most satisfying "out to eat" moments I've had. I didn't feel like I was missing out.
The education I got this time was helpful in some ways, but the nurse does not teach carb counting (as I was taught the last time). Instead she tells me I have certain times of the day when I can have certain food groups. I was appalled when she basically told me I could have fruit with dinner, and with a bedtime snack that also had some protein. I'm sorry, but fruit is a big saving grace for me. I need the sweetness to keep me away from brownies and cupcakes and chocolate. And so, I've pretty much taken from her teachings what I want, and count carbs like I have done in the past. One thing she mentioned to me, and I have found to be true, is: if you eat only carbs at bedtime, the fasting blood sugar in the morning will be higher. And this is because as you sleep, your body freaks out because your easy access food supply is burned off rather quickly. So your liver will dump out some sugars to make sure your brain and heart get the sugars they need to function. The problem is, the liver dumps too much, causing elevated fasting blood sugars. However, if you add some protein, the body has to take longer to process it, so the liver doesn't get the message to dump sugars.
Another little thing she told me, was carbs are best eaten 4-5 hours after waking. This is because the body just slowed down all of its processes for sleep, and it takes a while for it to wake up again to process the food we eat. What this boils down to is I cannot tolerate oatmeal in the morning. I have tried twice, and both times my blood sugars have been on the higher side. It is really sad, because I love my oatmeal. And so does little Riley. :) But Adams peanut butter on two slices of low calorie bread with some sliced strawberries on top is really hitting the spot in the morning. I found some Greek yogurt with only 9 carbs in it that really satisfies, so I'll eat a cup of that as well.
But there are really depressing, stomach growling moments where I really wish I could have some ice cream or other carbohydrate, and I long for time to pass more quickly. Tomorrow I will be 33 weeks. Only 5-7 more to go!
And, okay, my blood sugars are pretty well controlled. I was just barely diagnosed this time. (Meaning I only had one elevated blood sugar during the 2-hour test and it was only a smidge over, but it only takes one elevated blood sugar to diagnose a lady.)
I am better now, at keeping myself satisfied. The first go around I had no understanding of protein. It was difficult for me because my diet before I got pregnant consisted mostly of carbohydrates. This time, my diet was more well rounded. That being said, I still wish I could have a pan of brownies on my stove without worrying that I won't be able to stay away from them. Last night, Riley saw a box that holds a cupcake display on my kitchen table (I borrowed it from my mom for Riley's birthday and haven't returned it yet...) It has pictures of different types of cupcakes being displayed and he said "Cars cupcakes in there?" But cupcakes really comes out something like "cuh-kays." He remembered his birthday cupcakes that had McQueen and Mater on them. Then he really badly wanted to make some. And so did I. But I knew that if I made a bunch of cupcakes, I would also want to eat a bunch of cupcakes, and it is better that I don't right now.
It is kind of funny to me, in a sick way. When I was on Weight Watchers, I could have "dangerous" things in my house. I could make brownies for my husband. I could have made cupcakes for Riley. And I might have had some, but I would have stopped at one. And might not even be tempted, depending on how many points I had available. Whereas now, I don't think I could resist. It is what I crave the most, and my will power is wearing thin. The difference is right now what I eat doesn't just affect me. It also will affect this little wiggly baby. I do not want him to be a huge newborn, and keeping my sugars in control will help that. But also I don't want to have to stay longer in the hospital if his blood sugars won't regulate. And I don't want them to make me supplement if I can help it.
I'm planning my first meals right now, though they might change later on down the road. You better believe a milk shake is one of the first things on my list.
That being said, I'm finding out that sometimes carbs aren't really necessary: I had a lettuce wrapped burger the other day that was really quite tasty! So I was able to have onion rings with it, since I didn't waste my carbohydrates on the bun. It was one of the most satisfying "out to eat" moments I've had. I didn't feel like I was missing out.
The education I got this time was helpful in some ways, but the nurse does not teach carb counting (as I was taught the last time). Instead she tells me I have certain times of the day when I can have certain food groups. I was appalled when she basically told me I could have fruit with dinner, and with a bedtime snack that also had some protein. I'm sorry, but fruit is a big saving grace for me. I need the sweetness to keep me away from brownies and cupcakes and chocolate. And so, I've pretty much taken from her teachings what I want, and count carbs like I have done in the past. One thing she mentioned to me, and I have found to be true, is: if you eat only carbs at bedtime, the fasting blood sugar in the morning will be higher. And this is because as you sleep, your body freaks out because your easy access food supply is burned off rather quickly. So your liver will dump out some sugars to make sure your brain and heart get the sugars they need to function. The problem is, the liver dumps too much, causing elevated fasting blood sugars. However, if you add some protein, the body has to take longer to process it, so the liver doesn't get the message to dump sugars.
Another little thing she told me, was carbs are best eaten 4-5 hours after waking. This is because the body just slowed down all of its processes for sleep, and it takes a while for it to wake up again to process the food we eat. What this boils down to is I cannot tolerate oatmeal in the morning. I have tried twice, and both times my blood sugars have been on the higher side. It is really sad, because I love my oatmeal. And so does little Riley. :) But Adams peanut butter on two slices of low calorie bread with some sliced strawberries on top is really hitting the spot in the morning. I found some Greek yogurt with only 9 carbs in it that really satisfies, so I'll eat a cup of that as well.
But there are really depressing, stomach growling moments where I really wish I could have some ice cream or other carbohydrate, and I long for time to pass more quickly. Tomorrow I will be 33 weeks. Only 5-7 more to go!
Friday, May 31, 2013
Thoughts
~1~
Today I found out I had failed my 2-hour glucose test. (I had failed my 1-hour, so was ordered to take the 2-hour.) I haven't been told my values yet, so I'm not sure how badly I failed. But I'm guessing not that badly. We had decided, at least, that I wouldn't take the 2-hour test if I had failed the 1-hour by a lot. It is a disappointment, of course, to have Gestational Diabetes again. But I'm not as distraught about it as I was the first time around. I am supposed to meet with someone next week to go over my blood sugars and food log, and talk about what I need to do to keep my sugars in control. We'll see when that happens as I work in the early part of the week, so often don't get phone calls. Oh well. I know what I'm doing, mostly. This time around I only have my anniversary (next week!) and the 4th of July to make it through. Otherwise I don't have to suffer through Halloween, Thanksgiving and the possibility of Christmas like I did with Riley. (He was born before Christmas, so I was able to eat some carbs.)
They will make me to Non-stress tests again and make me come in pretty frequently, so it is going to be tricky finding appropriate child care. I'm going to have issues I'm sure. But Riley cannot come with me to a Non-stress test. I would never be able to sit still with him there! :)
~2~
Riley has been in his big boy bed for quite some time now. He, just last week, realized that he was able to get out of his bed in the morning. And oh how much Mommy and Daddy are sad about this! He used to sit in his bed, play with some toys for a while before yelling out "Mommmmmy!!" I would then get out of bed and go get him from his room. Mind you this would happen at 9:45 or 10:30. It was wonderful. But now he is getting up at 7:30 or 8 and wandering into the living room. He usually is just fine in there. He will gather up some snacks for mommy or daddy to open for him, and play with toys. But there is some worry that he might cause a ruckus out there alone. Today, when he woke up at 7:15 (and mommy had gone to sleep at 3:15am after watching a few shows with daddy) it was especially painful. Riley came in bed with us for a little bit, but I was worried he would soak through his diaper, so I took him out to the living room. I set up a movie and laid down on the couch, set him up with applesauce, milk and a bar, and closed my eyes. I can't remember when, but he told me he was going to bed, and went in his room and played with his cars there. I slept through the entire movie (Bolt, if you're curious). It wasn't that comfy, but I was glad to have gotten a nap. Daddy got Riley out of his room around 10:45. He is a strange child sometimes. But I love him for it.
~3~
Naps have kind of become a luxury item around here. He really fights them hard. I think a solution to this issue (and the one I just mentioned) is getting some heavy curtains along with the blinds. It is just too bright in his room! Yesterday he took a good nap for his Papa. And today he is taking an excellent one for me. It has been 3 hours now. I'm thankful for it. But most of the time when he is laid down in his room, he just plays for an hour and a half (and either parent will go in there periodically and ask him to lay down, and stop playing.) before coming out of his room saying he "waked up." When in fact he never went to sleep! :) He's never really been a good sleeper, but on Wednesday afternoon, he put himself to bed. Some days he knows he will feel better after napping. Other days he goes to war!
~4~
This time around I'm particularly worried that something will go wrong. Like the baby will have some congenital defect, or might not make it through the birth. It is a very strong, horrible feeling I have, and I'm struggling with it often. I really try hard to push it out of my mind, but it is difficult to do. I know of at least one other Mama who has admitted to a similar feeling. But it is very difficult to know that Riley is perfect, his birth went beautifully, he has been a healthy little guy, and there are many many things that could have gone wrong. Eventually one of them will, right? Statistics show that problems happen more often than I would like to know. Right now, I'm just not in a place where I should be Googling it, so you will have to live with a generic "things happen" statement. Go ahead and Google it yourself...unless you are also pregnant or trying to conceive. Because some things are just better off not known. Maybe having gestational diabetes is my statistic? Lets hope so...
~5~
I took a while putting groceries away and Googling carbohydrates in foods, so I don't have much more time. Now I need to go prepare and start dinner for Riley and I. So this will have to do for now. :)
Saturday, February 9, 2013
14 weeks
 |
| This photo was taken 14 weeks and 1 day. :) (added after posting...) |
Turns out I had the opportunity to take the lab slip and do it at my convenience, but I decided to get it over with. Since I had prepared myself, and had a babysitter for the booger. I chose fruit punch this time and it really wasn't that bad. Though I did get terrible heartburn. I took zofran beforehand, but didn't even think about heartburn. Next time I'll remember. ;)
Since I have issues with my thyroid she also wanted the lab to draw my thyroid levels. Just to be sure all was fine. The person who drew my blood used a very large needle and it really really hurt. I was a bit annoyed. It hurt the rest of the day, and that has never happened to me before. He could have used a smaller needle.
I celebrated with some sushi followed by a trip to Costco afterwards. :) It was lovely.
Friday afternoon I got a phone call from my midwife I passed the glucose test. Very exciting. Of course I will have to repeat the test again later on, but I'm glad to know I can eat some carbs right now. Unfortunately it wasn't all good news. My TSH (thyroid stimulating hormone) was low. It was 0.24 and the normal range starts at 0.45. So it is quite a bit low. But the nurse that filled out my requisition did not check the box to also check the T3 and T4 levels. These are the free hormones, the TSH stimulates their release. So, in theory, a person could have low TSH but still have adequate hormones However, we will have to have a redraw to make sure the levels are okay. Otherwise I will have to take some thyroid medication. (And that means some more testing of my levels I'm sure.) So fingers crossed they are normal. I've never had a problem with my levels before. At least that I remember. I feel like my TSH was on the low side with Riley, but we didn't need to do anything. We'll see. I'll go get my levels drawn next week. She said she would call me with the results once she had them.
I've decided to be more active. Because I have been gaining weight a bit too fast for my taste. I only want to gain 25 pounds total and I've already gained 8. Blech. I really wish food wasn't so good!
In other news I got a phone call last night from the fraud department at my credit union. Someone had stolen my card (or card number) and had made purchases on my behalf. I still had my card (it is now shredded) so it leads me to believe they had stolen my information from some online account. I'm really annoyed that people do this. I feel violated. But I'm glad my credit union has a fraud division, and they realized it wasn't me. They were able to charge $1400 to my debit card. $1000 at Macy's and $400 at Victoria Secret. They apparently attempted a few other places like Best Buy but were declined. They have a $2000 limit (or is it $2500?) set on our debit card purchases per day so that is probably why it was declined. And also why the fraud division was alerted. So on Tuesday after work I will have to stop by my credit union to get it all straightened out. And to get a new debit card. I'm a little sad, because I have had the same pin for the life of my debit account and should probably change it now. I have no idea how they were able to use my card without physically having it. Because it appears it wasn't an online purchase. Who knows. It will all work itself out in the end.
Saturday, February 2, 2013
13 weeks
Today I am 13 weeks. I have officially begun the 2nd trimester. It is surreal, because it seems to have flown by (although I remember thinking it was taking forever around week 6 or so). I am finally getting some of my energy back, which is a wonderful feeling. But it also helps that Riley has been waking up at 0930 or 1000 some days. I definitely appreciate it when that happens. :)
I have some fears for the future, especially once the babe is born, because Riley never slept. And I just don't know how I would be able to function with two tots to look after. I just keep hoping that this baby will know how to sleep. We'll see though.
Some gripes:
- I got the bill for the lab draw they did at the start of my pregnancy and I am floored by it. $696.30 for the labs alone. (Thankfully we have insurance so it only cost us $211, but still. It is frustrating.) It is even more irritating that $300 worth of the tests were for a tox screen. Ahem. I could have told them the results of that one. Absolutely zilch. I don't even think I've had Tylenol in the recent past. (Oddly enough Tylenol is often included in toxicology screens.) Even testing for Hepatitis C was a little uncalled for. However, I could have been exposed to it at work, so I would have let that one slide. Needless to say I'll be paying closer attention to what they draw from me in the future. If there is a baby #3, I need to remember this.
- Today some sciatica pain has started up for me. I'm not thrilled that it has started this soon. But I know women out there will sympathize with me. I need to find a chiropractor, I've been saying this for years now, but I just don't know who to trust.
- I have nothing to wear. Nothing, that looks appealing on me anyway. I feel frumpy in my maternity clothes, and uncomfortable in my normal person clothes. I'm a little sad that most of my maternity clothes are too big, even the jeans, because I was smaller when I got pregnant this time than I was when I got pregnant with Riley. Right now I'm wearing a skirt and shirt, and feel okay, but it is freezing out there! What I need to get are some leggings/tights, I'm going to go on Amazon after this to search for some.
- I'm hungry again. I mean, eat what is in sight, if food isn't in sight, find food and put it in my sight, all day long, hungry. This happened with Riley and I gained way too much way too fast, and ended up with gestational diabetes. I need to get better at being careful. Today I bought some foods at Trader Joe's that will hopefully help me. (Like fruits and vegetables and Greek yogurt. Fage is my favorite. And some frozen foods for Riley and I to have for dinners instead of thinking about fast food.) I'm not perfect, but I'm trying to be better.
- Heartburn is starting yet again. So far it has only been at night, but I'm sure very soon it will be a 24-7 issue as it was with Riley.
Some positives:
- The nausea is nearly gone. Okay so it wasn't as bad as other women's experiences with morning sickness. I never lost my cookies. I was able to eat through it (though many times it was cheese and crackers or something bland). But it was incredibly uncomfortable to be gagging and dry heaving out of nowhere. (Not to mention making people around me uncomfortable.) Sometimes I wished that I could puke, just to make it stop, and to have some relief. But instead, Zofran saved the day. Around week 9 was the worst, and I took Zofran nearly every day. Smells can still trigger it, but it is nothing like it used to be.
- I've already mentioned that my energy is coming back. But it is a positive. I finally feel like doing something else other than sleep or sit.
-Since week 8 I've been showing. Now it is quite prominent, not necessarily something a stranger might point out, but my family and friends can see it for sure. It is definitely the best part about being pregnant, looking pregnant, feeling pregnant. I have to be honest, there have been times where I've forgotten that I am pregnant. :) Pretty soon that will be a little bit tough. I swear I've been feeling the bean doing flips, but I'm pretty sure it is just peristalsis. ;) I can't wait to have boxing matches with the little booger.
I have some fears for the future, especially once the babe is born, because Riley never slept. And I just don't know how I would be able to function with two tots to look after. I just keep hoping that this baby will know how to sleep. We'll see though.
Some gripes:
- I got the bill for the lab draw they did at the start of my pregnancy and I am floored by it. $696.30 for the labs alone. (Thankfully we have insurance so it only cost us $211, but still. It is frustrating.) It is even more irritating that $300 worth of the tests were for a tox screen. Ahem. I could have told them the results of that one. Absolutely zilch. I don't even think I've had Tylenol in the recent past. (Oddly enough Tylenol is often included in toxicology screens.) Even testing for Hepatitis C was a little uncalled for. However, I could have been exposed to it at work, so I would have let that one slide. Needless to say I'll be paying closer attention to what they draw from me in the future. If there is a baby #3, I need to remember this.
- Today some sciatica pain has started up for me. I'm not thrilled that it has started this soon. But I know women out there will sympathize with me. I need to find a chiropractor, I've been saying this for years now, but I just don't know who to trust.
- I have nothing to wear. Nothing, that looks appealing on me anyway. I feel frumpy in my maternity clothes, and uncomfortable in my normal person clothes. I'm a little sad that most of my maternity clothes are too big, even the jeans, because I was smaller when I got pregnant this time than I was when I got pregnant with Riley. Right now I'm wearing a skirt and shirt, and feel okay, but it is freezing out there! What I need to get are some leggings/tights, I'm going to go on Amazon after this to search for some.
- I'm hungry again. I mean, eat what is in sight, if food isn't in sight, find food and put it in my sight, all day long, hungry. This happened with Riley and I gained way too much way too fast, and ended up with gestational diabetes. I need to get better at being careful. Today I bought some foods at Trader Joe's that will hopefully help me. (Like fruits and vegetables and Greek yogurt. Fage is my favorite. And some frozen foods for Riley and I to have for dinners instead of thinking about fast food.) I'm not perfect, but I'm trying to be better.
- Heartburn is starting yet again. So far it has only been at night, but I'm sure very soon it will be a 24-7 issue as it was with Riley.
Some positives:
- The nausea is nearly gone. Okay so it wasn't as bad as other women's experiences with morning sickness. I never lost my cookies. I was able to eat through it (though many times it was cheese and crackers or something bland). But it was incredibly uncomfortable to be gagging and dry heaving out of nowhere. (Not to mention making people around me uncomfortable.) Sometimes I wished that I could puke, just to make it stop, and to have some relief. But instead, Zofran saved the day. Around week 9 was the worst, and I took Zofran nearly every day. Smells can still trigger it, but it is nothing like it used to be.
- I've already mentioned that my energy is coming back. But it is a positive. I finally feel like doing something else other than sleep or sit.
-Since week 8 I've been showing. Now it is quite prominent, not necessarily something a stranger might point out, but my family and friends can see it for sure. It is definitely the best part about being pregnant, looking pregnant, feeling pregnant. I have to be honest, there have been times where I've forgotten that I am pregnant. :) Pretty soon that will be a little bit tough. I swear I've been feeling the bean doing flips, but I'm pretty sure it is just peristalsis. ;) I can't wait to have boxing matches with the little booger.
Friday, January 11, 2013
Random post from December that went unpublished.
Random post I had started but not finished in December. I want to post it simply because I want to remember some of this. :)
November 25th & 27th, 2012
I had some slight spotting and cramping so I was sure I was going to start my period soon. You see, if you remember from this post we had decided to wait before having another child. I put Jamaal in charge of using condoms, but he chose to not use them a little too soon. When I thought my period was going to start, I got a little sad, because while I agreed to wait, that pocket in my heart was yearning to be filled.
December 4th
I rode the bus to and from work. On the way home, I felt nauseated. To the point where I was looking for a place that it would be safe for me to expel my stomach contents into. (I decided upon my lunch box, if you were curious.) It was then I realized that it had been a week since I thought my period was going to start. So I went to the dollar store and bought 9 tests. Turns out I only needed one. :) but secretly I've used 3 just to make sure.
December 5th
I called to make an appointment with my midwife to see about an ultrasound to check for my actual due date. But it could be anywhere from July 29th to August 6th. I have the unfortunate predicament of feeling like I'll have this baby early as well (Riley came 2 weeks early). But I just don't feel like I'd be that lucky. Especially with a summer baby. :) I'm feeling queasy off and on. But also feeling hungry a lot too. I feel like I am about 3 months pregnant right now, I am so very bloated. It makes me just a little nervous for it to be twins. (knowing my luck they would be both boys.) ;)
I'm thinking we will tell our families on Christmas. And everyone else later on in the week. :)
(We ended up telling our family at Riley's birthday party. And everyone else around Christmas time.)
November 25th & 27th, 2012
I had some slight spotting and cramping so I was sure I was going to start my period soon. You see, if you remember from this post we had decided to wait before having another child. I put Jamaal in charge of using condoms, but he chose to not use them a little too soon. When I thought my period was going to start, I got a little sad, because while I agreed to wait, that pocket in my heart was yearning to be filled.
December 4th
I rode the bus to and from work. On the way home, I felt nauseated. To the point where I was looking for a place that it would be safe for me to expel my stomach contents into. (I decided upon my lunch box, if you were curious.) It was then I realized that it had been a week since I thought my period was going to start. So I went to the dollar store and bought 9 tests. Turns out I only needed one. :) but secretly I've used 3 just to make sure.
December 5th
I called to make an appointment with my midwife to see about an ultrasound to check for my actual due date. But it could be anywhere from July 29th to August 6th. I have the unfortunate predicament of feeling like I'll have this baby early as well (Riley came 2 weeks early). But I just don't feel like I'd be that lucky. Especially with a summer baby. :) I'm feeling queasy off and on. But also feeling hungry a lot too. I feel like I am about 3 months pregnant right now, I am so very bloated. It makes me just a little nervous for it to be twins. (knowing my luck they would be both boys.) ;)
I'm thinking we will tell our families on Christmas. And everyone else later on in the week. :)
(We ended up telling our family at Riley's birthday party. And everyone else around Christmas time.)
Thursday, January 10, 2013
Some News
I cannot wait to post something about our news, so here it goes: We're pregnant.
Today we had an ultrasound and meet and greet with my new midwife (my old one had the nerve to move to North Carolina for her husband's schooling. RUDE! Haha.) She was really nice, observant and made me happy with my choice. She's not too preachy, and really seemed interested in my past. She had obviously read over my chart before meeting with me, and had made notes that I would need testing for Gestational Diabetes earlier (since I have a history of having it with my first pregnancy) as well as some testing of my thyroid. It was nice to see that she cared about me and did not just go with the standard protocol. So, I hope I am lucky enough to labor during the day or when she is on call.
How I'm feeling.
Nausea
This time is a bit different. (okay so after reading all of my early post from my first pregnancy, I have realized that I did have some nausea with Riley. I apparently have blacked that bit out of my memory, because I honestly thought I had absolutely NONE. However, I can tell you that it was quick to leave with the last pregnancy.) Last time, I would have a wave of nausea that would make me want to get to the bathroom, but it would pass before I would make it there. This time, I gag and dry heave periodically. It is worse when my stomach is empty. It is weird because it hits me very suddenly. And sometimes I feel some acid rise up with the gagging. It is those cases that make me worried I'm about to lose my cookies. Fortunately, my MIL received a prescription for Zofran after her foot surgery, that she never used and has given them to me. So I have been able to take a couple (only needed it twice so far) to make sure I keep my food in my belly. I really don't want to puke. I talked to my midwife about this today, and she said it was fine if I take it when necessary. Food is good to me, most of the time, but I'm pretty picky. I really am having a hard time cooking because things dont's sound good until they are made and in front of me. I've been eating out a lot, which is not good for me, I know, but when I am able to look at a menu and pick something out, I can find something that sounds palatable.
Exhaustion.
One of the very first symptoms I had was exhaustion. It is a bit tricky to be able to sleep when your toddler has other plans for you. But I've been lucky, and have napped at the same time as Riley, or he has stayed the night at his grandparents' houses for miscellaneous reasons, so I have been able to sleep in some days. It isn't as awful for me, as it was with the first pregnancy, because I am used to a certain amount of being tired. That's what kids do to a parent. ;)
Body Image.
This time I've felt ginormous already. At 9 weeks, I feel like I'm showing. Like last time, my clothes hide my belly well. But there were times where I actually thought there were two babies in there, because I felt so huge. My pants still fit though, so that is good. I'm guess it is bloating that I'm seeing. But I have not gained anything thus far. (I actually lost a couple ounces from last time I went in.) So I'm happy about that. :)
Gestational Diabetes.
It is early yet to be diagnosed with anything. But I'm sure I will end up having GD, since I was diagnosed with my first pregnancy. However, this time around I am doing things a bit differently. I'm not drinking a Frozen Coke from Burger King everyday. Haha. What can I say? I had a craving, and I impulsed on it. I am conscious of every carb I put in my body, but can I be honest? Carbs taste good. They are what I want right now. Proteins are good too, but only if they go with a really tasty carb. Like, tonight for example, I had me some chicken teriyaki and rice. It was wonderful. I made sure Riley helped a lot with the rice. And he did, he ate about half of it, but I really enjoyed my meal. I pulled out my blood sugar monitor and have been testing myself the last two days, just to see how I'm doing, and I'm in fabulous control right now. Sometimes I go as high as 112 after eating, but before eating I haven't been higher than 90. Even after having ice cream, I've had really good sugars. Anyway, I'm going to remain hopeful...and will have to test twice at least this pregnancy, once at 20 weeks (and if I pass that) again at 28 weeks when they test everyone else. Hopefully, I'll be able to control myself to keep my sugars down, but I'm not going to completely deny myself carbohydrates while I can tolerate them. I plan on checking my sugars once a month or perhaps every couple weeks, just to see where I am, but will not lose sleep over it. At least not right now.
And of course, I am super excited about being pregnant with my best friend Jessie! It is so funny that we were able to make it happen, and I'm glad that my baby will have a friend about the same age. :)
Tomorrow I am meeting up with some friends, and two of them don't know yet. So I will post to Facebook at the end of the day. Until then. ;)
Today we had an ultrasound and meet and greet with my new midwife (my old one had the nerve to move to North Carolina for her husband's schooling. RUDE! Haha.) She was really nice, observant and made me happy with my choice. She's not too preachy, and really seemed interested in my past. She had obviously read over my chart before meeting with me, and had made notes that I would need testing for Gestational Diabetes earlier (since I have a history of having it with my first pregnancy) as well as some testing of my thyroid. It was nice to see that she cared about me and did not just go with the standard protocol. So, I hope I am lucky enough to labor during the day or when she is on call.
How I'm feeling.
Nausea
This time is a bit different. (okay so after reading all of my early post from my first pregnancy, I have realized that I did have some nausea with Riley. I apparently have blacked that bit out of my memory, because I honestly thought I had absolutely NONE. However, I can tell you that it was quick to leave with the last pregnancy.) Last time, I would have a wave of nausea that would make me want to get to the bathroom, but it would pass before I would make it there. This time, I gag and dry heave periodically. It is worse when my stomach is empty. It is weird because it hits me very suddenly. And sometimes I feel some acid rise up with the gagging. It is those cases that make me worried I'm about to lose my cookies. Fortunately, my MIL received a prescription for Zofran after her foot surgery, that she never used and has given them to me. So I have been able to take a couple (only needed it twice so far) to make sure I keep my food in my belly. I really don't want to puke. I talked to my midwife about this today, and she said it was fine if I take it when necessary. Food is good to me, most of the time, but I'm pretty picky. I really am having a hard time cooking because things dont's sound good until they are made and in front of me. I've been eating out a lot, which is not good for me, I know, but when I am able to look at a menu and pick something out, I can find something that sounds palatable.
Exhaustion.
One of the very first symptoms I had was exhaustion. It is a bit tricky to be able to sleep when your toddler has other plans for you. But I've been lucky, and have napped at the same time as Riley, or he has stayed the night at his grandparents' houses for miscellaneous reasons, so I have been able to sleep in some days. It isn't as awful for me, as it was with the first pregnancy, because I am used to a certain amount of being tired. That's what kids do to a parent. ;)
Body Image.
This time I've felt ginormous already. At 9 weeks, I feel like I'm showing. Like last time, my clothes hide my belly well. But there were times where I actually thought there were two babies in there, because I felt so huge. My pants still fit though, so that is good. I'm guess it is bloating that I'm seeing. But I have not gained anything thus far. (I actually lost a couple ounces from last time I went in.) So I'm happy about that. :)
Gestational Diabetes.
It is early yet to be diagnosed with anything. But I'm sure I will end up having GD, since I was diagnosed with my first pregnancy. However, this time around I am doing things a bit differently. I'm not drinking a Frozen Coke from Burger King everyday. Haha. What can I say? I had a craving, and I impulsed on it. I am conscious of every carb I put in my body, but can I be honest? Carbs taste good. They are what I want right now. Proteins are good too, but only if they go with a really tasty carb. Like, tonight for example, I had me some chicken teriyaki and rice. It was wonderful. I made sure Riley helped a lot with the rice. And he did, he ate about half of it, but I really enjoyed my meal. I pulled out my blood sugar monitor and have been testing myself the last two days, just to see how I'm doing, and I'm in fabulous control right now. Sometimes I go as high as 112 after eating, but before eating I haven't been higher than 90. Even after having ice cream, I've had really good sugars. Anyway, I'm going to remain hopeful...and will have to test twice at least this pregnancy, once at 20 weeks (and if I pass that) again at 28 weeks when they test everyone else. Hopefully, I'll be able to control myself to keep my sugars down, but I'm not going to completely deny myself carbohydrates while I can tolerate them. I plan on checking my sugars once a month or perhaps every couple weeks, just to see where I am, but will not lose sleep over it. At least not right now.
And of course, I am super excited about being pregnant with my best friend Jessie! It is so funny that we were able to make it happen, and I'm glad that my baby will have a friend about the same age. :)
Tomorrow I am meeting up with some friends, and two of them don't know yet. So I will post to Facebook at the end of the day. Until then. ;)
Sunday, February 19, 2012
Baby fever?
I have been getting strong, strong urges to get pregnant as of late. I think it is mostly because three (three!) of my close friends are expecting. It is enough to make a girl feel a pang of jealousy, at least for a moment. It is a bit selfish of me to be just a touch sad that they are pregnant and I am not. (But, I truly am so very excited for each of them! :D)
I was walking through Safeway the other day, alone for a change. And saw a young girl who was pregnant. I thought to myself, "I wonder if she knows how much her life is about to change for the better?!" And I really had to hold myself back before I went up to talk to her about her pregnancy and congratulate her.
But I also had this urge to thank her. Who knows how old she really was, but she looked as if she could still be in high school. Or possibly just recently graduated. But she did not appear much older than 20. Even if she doesn't keep her baby, her child was given the gift of life. And as I walked through Safeway, I couldn't help but smile.
I held back so as not to freak the girl out, but I really do wonder what her story was. I'm curious if any of my feelings were warranted, and if she ever did think about her options when she found out she was pregnant. Whatever her story, seeing her rounded belly made my day a little brighter.
And yet, I am quite happy with my two boys (my husband and son). And, maybe some will think I'm being selfish, but I'm quite happy reuniting with my old body; wearing my old jeans from high school. And having my body to myself again, (read: no longer breast feeding.)
And okay, I also have something secret that I will share later this week. And that secret thing, is just another reason why I want to wait a bit. :)
I was walking through Safeway the other day, alone for a change. And saw a young girl who was pregnant. I thought to myself, "I wonder if she knows how much her life is about to change for the better?!" And I really had to hold myself back before I went up to talk to her about her pregnancy and congratulate her.
But I also had this urge to thank her. Who knows how old she really was, but she looked as if she could still be in high school. Or possibly just recently graduated. But she did not appear much older than 20. Even if she doesn't keep her baby, her child was given the gift of life. And as I walked through Safeway, I couldn't help but smile.
I held back so as not to freak the girl out, but I really do wonder what her story was. I'm curious if any of my feelings were warranted, and if she ever did think about her options when she found out she was pregnant. Whatever her story, seeing her rounded belly made my day a little brighter.
And yet, I am quite happy with my two boys (my husband and son). And, maybe some will think I'm being selfish, but I'm quite happy reuniting with my old body; wearing my old jeans from high school. And having my body to myself again, (read: no longer breast feeding.)
And okay, I also have something secret that I will share later this week. And that secret thing, is just another reason why I want to wait a bit. :)
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
Baby Fever
Since Riley turned a year old, I have been thinking about having baby #2. I truly think I'm ready for another little bundle, but there are so many reasons why we shouldn't right now. I held Jamaal's cousin's 5 month old (who was premature so she is developmentally just a touch behind schedule, yet weighs almost as much as Riley does. :D) She fell asleep in my arms, and was just so precious to hold.
There are so many things about pregnancy that I just don't miss. Mostly, being a gestational diabetic. That just wasn't fun. However, I do think that since I've done it once before, I could handle it a bit easier this time.
There wouldn't be an issue if it weren't for maternity leave. I don't want to have to go back to work right away. And I don't have very much leave time saved up yet. So that would mean I wouldn't get to stay home as long as I did with Riley (16 weeks). At least I wouldn't get paid as much as I did, and way back then it was a huge difference in pay. Since I am working less now, we are less able to save up some funds to help cover me being on maternity leave. We need my paycheck right now.
My solution is simple:
If Jamaal gets a better job, which he has been applying for one and will hopefully hear back after the new year, we might be able to handle me going on leave. He would make more, with the opportunity for overtime, so we would likely be able to save something.
I've applied at a couple other places as well. But that doesn't really go with the whole plan. As it would be even more difficult to go on maternity leave after starting a brand new job. Mostly, I am just interested in working someplace closer to my home. That would make childcare a touch easier, and would decrease my transit time a little.
I'm hopeful that Jamaal would also be able to take some parental leave, so that we could have some time together as a family. He was only able to take off 5 days after Riley was born, and two of those days were the weekend. (We had Riley on a Thursday and by Tuesday he was back to work.) While it was rough then, I'm sure it would be even more difficult trying to manage a newborn and a toddler at the same time.
Here's to the new year! And someday, the New Neagle...
There wouldn't be an issue if it weren't for maternity leave. I don't want to have to go back to work right away. And I don't have very much leave time saved up yet. So that would mean I wouldn't get to stay home as long as I did with Riley (16 weeks). At least I wouldn't get paid as much as I did, and way back then it was a huge difference in pay. Since I am working less now, we are less able to save up some funds to help cover me being on maternity leave. We need my paycheck right now.
My solution is simple:
If Jamaal gets a better job, which he has been applying for one and will hopefully hear back after the new year, we might be able to handle me going on leave. He would make more, with the opportunity for overtime, so we would likely be able to save something.
I've applied at a couple other places as well. But that doesn't really go with the whole plan. As it would be even more difficult to go on maternity leave after starting a brand new job. Mostly, I am just interested in working someplace closer to my home. That would make childcare a touch easier, and would decrease my transit time a little.
I'm hopeful that Jamaal would also be able to take some parental leave, so that we could have some time together as a family. He was only able to take off 5 days after Riley was born, and two of those days were the weekend. (We had Riley on a Thursday and by Tuesday he was back to work.) While it was rough then, I'm sure it would be even more difficult trying to manage a newborn and a toddler at the same time.
Here's to the new year! And someday, the New Neagle...
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