Just an update

I haven't posted in a while. 

Not much has been happening around here. I kind of decided to have a low-key birthday for Riley this year. Just the family is invited. Last year was a huge party, and a lot of stress, and while he had a blast, it isn't something he will remember. So we will just have a cake with the grandparents and his aunt and uncles (and cousins if they aren't too cool for us yet.) ;) Next year, maybe, we'll have a bigger party for him. Also, last year he got a lot of toys, it was a bit ridiculous. We had to give some to the grandparents, because there was just too much for him to play with at our place. I love to get fun gifts for kids, so I totally get it, but there is only some much time in a day for playing. ;)

Tonight, Riley went pee pee in the potty for the very first time. He has been asking to go potty a lot after diaper changes, so I put him on the toilet and he sits there looking in the bowl, playing with his belly button and talking about bubbles. Sometimes he sits there for 45 seconds sometimes only 15 before saying "All done" and trying to get down. I'm not really pushing potty time right now, because he is still young for it, and I don't want to stress him out, but if he asks to go, I'll let him. Tonight he asked after his diaper was changed, and it was almost immediate that he started peeing. He started laughing, he was so excited. I kept saying good job and cheering. But I thought to myself "now what?" I hear about moms using M&M's and jelly beans as rewards, so was I supposed to give him one for going? Maybe is this it for us, will he be easy to potty train? Or did we just get lucky this time, and he just so happened to have to really go? It is too early to tell yet. I'm not fully ready to believe he is ready to train, but we'll see how it goes. 

This weekend will be a busy one for us. We have a birthday party on Saturday and another on Sunday. Unfortunately, I have to work on Sunday, so I won't be able to go to that party, but my sister-in-law will be taking Riley for me. It is a 4 year old's party to a movie theater to watch Cars. Riley loves that movie, (well he prefers the second one...but he will sit through the first one too.) Kind of. He never really sits through a movie unless I'm holding him down (like to get him to go to sleep.) I hope he enjoys himself. :)

Sunday my parents return from being in Australia and New Zealand. I cannot wait to see them again. I talk to them nearly every day so it has been pretty hard. Riley is going to flip out when he sees them, I think. :)

Fair warning: Not a happy post.

I am having one of those weeks. It started as a really awful Monday at work, and has sort of bubbled over into the following several days. I thought I was over it, but today I got a phone call from one of the assistant managers from work asking me about if I would be willing to attend a meeting with the Attendings and Managers on our floor next Monday, and in an unrelated twist she asked how I was doing after last Monday. I started to say I was fine, and noticed myself begin to cry again, and realized that I was indeed, not over it. I am not fine.

Nursing is not easy. And last Monday was one of the worst shifts of my career. It was hard, emotional, and busy. I was torn into 5 uneven pieces and could not figure out how to make myself whole again. At one point, as I was preparing for a simple procedure, I stepped out of my patient's room to grab something out of our supply drawer just outside the room. I stood there for a second with my mind blank. I literally had taken 5 steps, and in those 5 steps had forgotten why I had moved in the first place. I think I stood there for a full minute before I remembered what it was I needed. A simple piece of gauze. The patient noticed and laughed a little, saying I was too young to be as forgetful as he was. But I told him, "when you have 5 peoples' lives in your head, you begin to get a bit forgetful." He said that it would be worse if I had kids, so I changed my number to 6. I didn't mention to him that it was about my lunch hour and I hadn't a notion of being able to take a lunch in the near future. I was stressed out. His family members were getting demanding. I had mentioned to them that I would do the procedure at some point during the shift, and when I didn't get in there right away to do it, they went to a doctor to demand it happen. The doctor then relayed the message to me, and I told her I was going to do it, I just needed a second to breathe.

I hope that the stress of being sick or having a loved one in the hospital doesn't cloud my vision so I don't treat the staff poorly, even when I am hurting or scared.

This job is personal. Sometimes un-comfortably so. Last Monday I was so busy, so so busy. I wasn't able to be there for a patient who needed me. She was stewing in her room, creating anxiety and stress for herself, that was unnecessary. Her situation is unfair. She didn't deserve to be stressed out by me. Her friend came up to me at the front desk, to let me know that the patient was threatening to leave. I lost it right then. I felt that I had let her down. When I envisioned how my day would go, this was not a part of it. I was overwhelmed, drowning in my tasks, and unfortunately that meant she went a bit neglected. In some cases, the squeaky wheel gets the grease. I didn't have time to check in for no reason. The doctors had been in and told her some conflicting information. All of these things broke what little trust I had earned. The assistant nurse manager went in to the patient's room, and listened to her complaints. Afterwards she asked that I go back in to speak with the patient and clear up some information, and also to allow the patient to tell me why she was upset. I walked in the room and burst into tears. It was difficult. It was uncomfortable. It was hard.

And even through all of that she still wanted me to be the one to hang her chemotherapy later that day. I told her, that I was just too emotional to do it. I didn't feel comfortable, I was too shaky and overwhelmed to concentrate on hanging a life altering drug.

And after all of that I sat down to eat at 4:30pm. The latest lunch I've ever had at work. And at the end of the day, I had an hours worth of charting and catch up to do before I could come home. To an empty house.

The next day I had a headache and decided to call in sick to get some extra sleep. I wish I could let go of my emotions. But, like I said before, this job is personal.

Evening shift

The husband has been on evening shift for an entire week now. On Monday evening, I sent a text to him saying that Riley and I didn't like him being gone. And that is still true. We don't care too much for it. 

But there are some nice aspects. I will stay up later to wait up for him, and I do miss that (staying up late, I mean). You see, while Jamaal was on day shift, he was so tired from getting up at 5:30 that he wanted to get to bed by 9:30pm. And while it is smart for me to also get to bed then, I enjoy staying up until 10:30 or 11. (On days when I work, this is definitely something I regret the next day, but I do enjoy adult time playing video games after the Booger is asleep.) We try to go to bed at the same time each night. There are times when someone stays up later than the other, but for the most part we both make our way to bed at the same time. And to be honest I feel a bit guilty if I stay up later than he does. 

I also like having Jamaal home during the mornings. It seems to get me moving a little faster. I have been able to get more chores done in the morning, and then I'm motivated and get more done during the evening too. I'm nearly all caught up on laundry. Nearly. Now the key is to keep up with it. Doing a couple loads each week. I hope I can. Here it is, my Sunday night (I work Sunday through Tuesday) and all I want to do is blog, shower, and play a couple video games. Okay, and maybe have a slice of freshly made pumpkin pie. :) My motivation to do housework is waning. It also helps me to get a shower in. ;)

BUT, I hope that it comes back after my 3 day stretch of working is done. And I'm allowed a break right? 

Today I made burritos and they turned out pretty well. A little spicy, but not too bad. I was pretty happy with the fact that I was able to roll a burrito and they remained intact for the oven. I swear every other time I tried making them it turns into a casserole. :) I should post the recipe, because it was pretty easy to make. Maybe I will...

Meals are something that are difficult for me now. Because dinner is something I make at least 4 days of the week, and Jamaal isn't a huge fan of left overs. He is being a good sport with me though, and taking things I wouldn't expect him to take to work for dinner. I just don't think it is cost effective for him to buy meals every day at work, when I could make him 4-5 for the same price. So I've been trying to revamp my menu choices. And probably will have a lot more deli meat in the house. (In the past I will buy it for one night's dinner, and usually end up throwing it out, because I don't eat a ton at a time, and try to stay away from a lot of bread products. Because Jamaal has never brought a lunch with him to work.) I guess I should have mentioned that sooner. It makes it even more of a challenge. 

The best news is that Jamaal seems happier. Less stress. More sleep. 

I don't know if I'll ever be able to convince him to go back to day shift. (Night shift would be much worse for me. I would hate to be alone at night. And keeping Riley quiet during the day to let him sleep?? Impossible. I would be able to sleep, but Jamaal can hear a pin drop.) Unfortunately, he really doesn't like waking up early, as he would have to working day shift. 

Okay well. I hope you aren't bored now. Pretty sure this is one of the driest posts in a long time. 

But I posted. ;) 

Mr. Riley

My little boy is sure a character. Every day is so much fun these days. Well, at least parts of the day are fun. We still have some hard times. But then he will do something sweet, or cute, or funny, and I will smile and think, "how did I get so lucky?" The above photo was taken after nap time. I don't think he was quite ready to get up. But he was squeaking and fussing, so daddy got him up. We both laughed out loud when we saw his hair. It was worse...if you can believe that...right after sitting up in his crib. I didn't have my phone on me though, so it was a few minutes later when I got this shot. I have about 5 others prior to this one, but his eyes are closed. SO I had to get this shot without the flash. He was so very annoyed with me. And after this I broke the news that mommy was going bye-bye. Haha...mommy is so mean! :) (Don't worry, he quickly got over it. Saying "bye-bye" and walking me to the front door.)




The above video (if it decides to show up) was taken after he found a pacifier on the table. You see, the first 8 months of his life were very hard on me. He did not know how to sleep. I was sleep deprived and desperate to find something to sooth him, aside from me. I was exhausted and desperate for some relief. I bought EVERY type of pacifier out there. I searched desperately for some sort of different shape that might appease him. But to no avail. I think he took it a total of 2 times and kept it in his mouth for like 5 minutes at a time. Seriously folks. It was a rough time. But here he is making fun of his mama. ;) He doesn't even know how to suck on a binky and keep it in his mouth. (though I must admit, I tried this particular one too, and it is pretty difficult to suck on.)

The past week or so he has really started to talk up a storm. It is an adventure every day with him, you never know what might come out of his mouth. Right know he is big into "Thank you." He hands me something, and when I take it from him, "ank coo." The waitress refills my water, he says "ank coo." It just about melts my heart. Next step is working on "you're welcome."

The other day a new mommy commented that she couldn't wait for her baby to do something that Riley was doing. And I totally remember feeling this way when Riley was months old. There were times when I looked forward to the next milestone. And while this reaction is completely normal. And sometimes we say these things without really meaning anything by them. But I think there is something in loving the moment your child is in now. There is something so beautiful about your baby today, right now. Even if they are screaming and squirming and fighting sleep. I had so many struggles during the first months of Riley's life (and I definitely have some struggles today) but I look back on those moments with such reverence and a desire to be able to go back in time and snuggle with the Riley of 2011. I guess what I'm saying is each milestone is special in its own way, try to live in the now without looking too far forward. Because you will never get that time back.

Change to come

Something I haven't really announced yet will be happening soon: My dear husband got a new job at Boeing. He will start a week from today. It is really, really exciting news for us. As he will finally have benefits, and hope for promotions within the company. 

It is something we have been dreaming about for quite some time now. He attempted applying a couple years ago, but to no avail. 

Now we are ready for a new kind of adventure. We have settled into a routine, and it will be shaken up a bit. 

The main issue is that he will be working evening shift, at least to start. Monday through Friday from 2:00-10:30pm. He has also offered to keep working Saturdays at his current job. But I'm not sure how long he will keep that up. 

He is looking forward to sleeping in. And I'm looking forward to doing water aerobics again. (I plan on going in the mornings twice a week, he and Riley can sleep in while I go work out!) And I should be able to go grocery shopping alone! (Oh the simple things in life...) :) 

We are looking forward to actual vacation and sick leave from work. (Currently he has to ask for time off, and may or may not get it.) 

And benefits! Don't forget about them! Currently my insurance has a huge deductible (because I opted for the plan with a HSA) so I'm hoping I could use his insurance as my secondary plan and cut down some of my out of pocket cost. (Though I must admit I'm not sure how this would work, if the secondary insurance would only go into effect after I've reached my deductible or not...) 

While there are many positive things about this change, there are a lot of challenges that we will face. And they are a little distracting for me right now. 

I'm not looking forward to evenings alone. Specifically bedtime. On nights when I'm not working, I will likely stay up and wait for Jamaal to come home, because we usually do not go to bed now until close to midnight. But I look forward to the time when Jamaal gets home, because I have a little help with Riley. Perhaps it is just because I've been with Riley all day long, and I'm just ready for some assistance. So maybe it will help to have daddy home in the morning before nap time  But being a negative Nelly, I've been focusing on the opposite. 

Currently, on Mondays and Tuesdays when I work, Jamaal is in charge of dropping Riley off at my father-in-law's or my parent's house depending on the day. And if I work for 12 hours, Jamaal will also retrieve Riley from whichever house he is at. Now, I will be in charge of picking up Riley, even after working for 12 hours. And let me just say, I'm really not looking forward to this! After working for 12+ hours, I really just want to come home and get in my jam-jams. 

Meal times will also be a little different from here on out. It will be strange just cooking for Riley and I. And I keep bugging Jamaal about what sort of things he will want to bring for lunches, and he is annoyed with me for even thinking about it. (I'm a planner, he is not). But I want to know if I should make dinners for lunch so he can bring them with him to work. Or if I should make dinner and save it for him for the next day. Or if he just wants me to get some lunch meat, chip bags, and carrots for a brown bag style meal. Leaving Riley and I on our own for meals. 

And the last, and greatest challenge, is putting off trying for a second pregnancy. We are not in agreement on this one, but I will not force my husband to father another child, if he is not ready to do so. I understand his hesitancy: there is so much unknown about our future. Our finances will likely be tight, as he will most definitely be taking a pay cut for this job (with opportunities for raises along the way). I hope that this hesitancy will dissipate after a month (or two) of work. 

Because nine months in itself is a long time to wait...

The one with Riley's Masterpiece

--- 1 ---

Last Friday I sort of talked about how I forgot to pay our garbage bill. It was a sort of embarrassing moment of mine. That day I got a "notice" in the mail about how I had an "apparent disregard" of their previous attempts to collect. (They sent that notice prior to me calling and paying off our overdue balance). I'm going to go ahead and blame my husband on this one, because he usually gets the mail and doesn't have any specific place that he puts it. So it ends up being placed wherever he stops first. This means we have piles of mail here and there, and I have no idea what pile is old or new or important. We need to figure out a system I guess. But to be quite honest, that was not where I thought this take was going to go...instead I was going to speak about all the money we are saving by adding yard waste. :)

--- 2 ---

In an effort to decrease my family's carbon foot print, I decided to try adding yard waste to our garbage service. A lot of items we use daily can go into the yard waste container, like paper towels, food scraps and should I admit this here? cough...paper plates....cough. By making the switch we were able to decrease from a 60 gallon garbage can to a 32 gallon can (and sometimes we still don't fill that one up!) We save about $100 per year this way as well. Which is a plus. But, and this is a huge but, yard waste is a bit stinky. It wasn't so bad until this last week. I went out to dump the inside food scraps into the outside yard waste, opened the can and the entire rim of the 90-gallon yard waste cart was white and wiggly. I about vomited then and there. It still gives me the chills thinking about it. Nasty, disgusting maggots all over the can. Blech. I went inside to grab something to spray them with, and by the time I came back most of them had wiggled to the ground. They are quite interesting little pustules. They wiggle and roll all over the place. The next morning the majority of them had wiggled/rolled around the corner to the bottom edge of my front porch. They traveled about 25 feet from the can to there. I was disgusted. Surprised. Horrified. I sprayed them like crazy and went to an appointment. I asked my mom how long it takes for them to hatch, because while I don't really care for flies, I prefer them over maggots.

Later that evening, after Jamaal got home, I went out to the garbage and noticed the maggots were gone. All of them. I couldn't find a single one. Even some of the dead carcasses were missing. I kind of shrugged it off, thought perhaps my darling husband had cleaned, and was happy the nasty buggers were gone. I also noticed this: 

This is a photo of our driveway. Notice the pieces of moss and debris strewn about. I thought it was left overs of the destruction, and figured my husband had something to do with it. That night I asked my husband about it, and we came to this conclusion: the neighborhood birds had a feast. Because my husband had no idea what I was talking about. This is not the first time I've noticed some moss strewn about, and I thought it was something Jamaal was up to. He, funny enough, thought the same, only about me. We both had a "that makes so much sense" moment, and were able to rest easy knowing we have some friendly (to us, of course, not the maggots) neighborhood birds watching our front stoop.

--- 3 ---

Today I finally called to change our home insurance to the same insurance we use for our cars. Progressive, if you are curious. We will be saving $150 on our home insurance alone. (we will also be saving for our car insurance but Jamaal is in charge of that bill, so I'm not sure how much!) I got a notice that our old carrier would be increasing our rate this year, so I decided now was a good time to change. 

--- 4 ---

Today I bought some vitamins for me to start taking. I was horrible at taking vitamins when I was pregnant with Riley, because I hated how big the vitamin was, and started to get a bit gag-y when taking it. So I just flat out stopped. I had one of each today, and they tasted pretty good. Now, I'm going to have to wash my vitamin case so I remember to take them everyday. :) I also got some "My first Flinstone vitamins" for Riley. I was giving him some liquid vitamins, but he really hates it now, so unless I mix it in with his milk, he doesn't take it. (and I keep forgetting to do that...) My plan is to put his vitamins in with mine so I remember to give him his. That's the goal anyway! (and I just read on the containers that I'm supposed to take two of each per day...anyone know if Costco carries gummy prenatals?)

--- 5 ---

I'm really beginning to feel comfortable working at Weight Watchers. I'm constantly worried that I will say the wrong thing though, especially when the clients have gained. I know the feeling. I gained a couple times when I was losing weight, and it is so embarrassing, along with other mixes of emotions. So, I know that they are in a very sensitive place, and anything I say could set them off. It is a lot of stress to have! Plus, I remember feeling uncomfortable weighing in in front of people who already look great; it is easy to forget that the staff at Weight Watchers have been there before. (and actually, some clients don't know that staff have all been there.) I'm kind of one of the youngest staff members I've seen working, and I think that plays a role in how little I'm trusted. But I've been through that before with nursing and I'll get through it... :)

--- 6 ---

After Riley got up from his nap, he seemed to want to talk on the phone, so I called his Nana, (my mother in law) but by the time she got on the phone, he had decided he didn't want to talk after all. Long story short, she decided to take him for the night tonight since there will be a big family gathering tomorrow in Tacoma. (and she hasn't had him over night in a while since she had surgery this summer) It is always such a treat to be baby-free. :)

--- 7 ---

I have decided to try and scan all of Riley's artwork into the computer. I realize that we will have a lot of artwork over the years, and keeping it all just isn't feasible. It is also such a waste of space. This is his very first drawing using a 24-pack of crayola crayons on Whisper White cardstock. I actually kind of like this one a lot. I was going to use it to decorate a card, but decided against it and made Riley color again. I used a Stampin' Up! punch to cut out pieces of his artwork, and used them in my card. It turned out pretty cute. (You'll have to excuse the quality of the photo, as at the time I couldn't find my good camera, and so I used my scanner.) Quality aside, you get the idea. :) Happy Friday!

For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!

Mocha Ice Cream Dreams

Today I performed an experiment in my kitchen. Here is how it started:

A little over a week ago I made some maple walnut ice cream for my father, who could not find it in stores anywhere and was craving it. It turned out to be a success. But not quite up to the perfect standards my dad had set for me. I blame this on using pure ingredients, as I'm sure the maple walnut ice cream of his past contained more than 5-ish ingredients. He did say it was good, just not quite right. 

Well, I thought it was good. Great even. Probably some of the best ice cream I've had in a while. 

It was the first time I used eggs/egg yolks when making ice cream...okay so go ahead and correct me, because technically "ice cream" contains no eggs, but frozen custard ice cream is just so gosh darn long, and let's face it, not as familiar...and it wasn't as scary as I thought it would be. 

So back to today...I realized I needed to use up the rest of the cream and what better way than to make another batch of ice cream. :) To decide on the flavor, I consulted with my husband. He stated he didn't really feel like ice cream tonight and ultimately was not very helpful. I had kind of thought about making a coconut or a coffee ice cream, and thought he would like neither of them. But he surprised me and said he would eat the coffee ice cream "if it was good." Even if he only has a little bit, it will be a little bit that I'm not consuming. ;) So coffee won out. Mocha to be precise. 

And then I started Google-ing. There are conspiracies about the type of coffee you use, the type of chocolate or cocoa you use and whether or not to use eggs. (and there are also some dairy-free recipes out there!) It is such a difficult decision, because each blog you go to claims to have the best recipe. After looking at about 15 different websites I had Jamaal hand me the manual that came with our ice cream maker. And inside there was a very simple Coffee Ice Cream recipe, with a variation for Mocha Chip Ice Cream. That was it. I didn't have to print one out, I already had a recipe to carry into the kitchen. 

And then I didn't read the directions quite right. I got excited and measured out all of the ingredients and put them in a mixing bowl. The recipe calls for:

• 1 cup whole milk
• 3/4 cup sugar
• 2-3 tablespoons instant espresso or coffee, to taste
• 2 cups heavy cream
• 1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract

Variation:

• Use 1-1/2 tablespoons each instant espresso powder and Dutch process cocoa instead of just espresso powder
• 4 ounces bittersweet or semi-sweet chocolate bar, roughly chopped into tiny pieces (to be added in the last 5 minutes of churning)

You are supposed to use a mixer to combine the milk, granulated sugar and espresso powder (and cocoa) until dissolved, about 1-2 minutes on low speed. But I also added the heavy cream. Now, if you know heavy cream very well, you know that it can also be used for whipped cream. That means, you beat it, it fluffs up. So as I was mixing it was foaming, and the gosh darn cocoa and espresso wasn't dissolving! So I decided to warm it up a little to get it to dissolve. (and just so you know, I chose to use regular cocoa powder, because that was what was in my pantry, which, I read, is a little less chocolaty, and also doesn't dissolve as easily. While I'm on a roll confessing my divergence I also used 2 heaping tablespoons of both the cocoa and the espresso, none of this decreasing to 1-1/2 business. I want it to taste like a mocha dang it!)

So, I poured the foamy mixture through a strainer into a saucepan and began heating my base. As I'm stirring constantly, I think: "If I have to stir this constantly anyway, I might as well add eggs to the mix." So I found a "premium ice cream" recipe in my Cuisinart booklet, the Decadent Chocolate Ice Cream recipe to be precise, and kind of made it work for me. 

It calls for:

• 2 large eggs
• 1 large egg yolk

And wouldn't you know it, I had exactly 3 eggs! The recipe wants you to combine sugar, cocoa, eggs and egg yolk in a medium bowl and beat it until it is thickened like mayonnaise. But I had already added all but the eggs to the hot milk/cream mixture, so I just beat the eggs as best I could. Then I took 1 cup of the hot milk/cream mixture and in a slow steady stream, beat it into the eggs using a hand mixer. (This is called tempering your eggs. If you just throw them into the warmed/hot milk they would cook like scrambled eggs. This kind of slowly brings them up to a warmer temperature so they don't cook that way, instead they combine with the other ingredients first, to form a custard.) Then I added my egg mixture to the saucepan, and continually stirred over low-medium heat. I had a candy thermometer attached and I kept stirring until it reached 170 degrees Fahrenheit (and it was thickening up.) 

I had set up an ice bath prior, and poured the mixture through a strainer again into the bowl in my ice bath. This helped to cool the mixture quickly. That way I could quickly transfer the mixture into the fridge for the night. 

I can't wait for tomorrow! :)

Mrs. T

Today I had a patient ask me: "If you would have known you would be doing this everyday, do you think you still would have become a nurse?"

You see, today, I was in charge. And this patient had called, the unit secretary answered her call, and attempted to contact the assistant and the covering nurse (the patient's nurse was on lunch) and no one was available. The pt stated she had to go to the bathroom, "really badly." 

To be honest...I sighed. Even now, as I typed this paragraph I sighed. Taking people to the bathroom truly is not my favorite thing to do. I would not have become a nurse if that was all I were to do. I have experienced a multitude of different scenarios while taking people to the bathroom during my five years of being a nurse. Many of which are positive experiences during which "please," "thank you," and stories are shared. But of course there are always several negative experiences that seem to overshadow all of the good ones. 

The fact of the matter is that some people handle the sick role better than others. Some people weren't given, either by nature or nurture, the appropriate coping mechanisms to handle an illness. We nurses call this "poor coping skills." Some truly cannot help it at this time in their life due to some altered mental status, and in those situations I find the most difficulty. I have to constantly breathe into the task at hand, and repeat to myself "they are sick, they are scared, they don't know who you are." Because I have to believe if they did know, they would apologize for their actions, and a part of them would be embarrassed. Until that time, I try not to let their harsh words and actions get to me. 

Let me tell you, though, I will only lay still and take abuse for so long!

Anyway, back to my sigh. I walked into that patient's room, and there she sat, with her feet dangling off the bed and a huge pool of excrement on her sheets. She said, she was sorry for anyone who had to come in to help her. She had a slight Irish accent, and flashed a smile at me after I made a joke about probably not needing any more bowel meds. (She had been given quite a lot, because she was really constipated after having 2 separate surgeries about a week apart.) I usually can predict how a situation will end up if people get a kick out of my humor. 

I called for someone to come in and help me and together we got the bed and the patient all cleaned up in no time. While she was sitting on the commode chair, as I was changing her sheets, she asked me the above question: would I have still become a nurse if I knew I would be cleaning up poo everyday?

And I answered her honestly: I don't clean it up everyday. Several times a week maybe (back when I was full time), but most of the time people make it to the toilet. :) She said she had a lot of respect for what nurses did, and stated there would be no doctors without nurses. And I agreed. So I told her, that when it is someone like her, who is kind, respectful, and has a good sense of humor it is easy for me to do my job. I don't mind it. It doesn't even really gross me out. People like her are the reason I return to work. And when all of the negative encounters begin outweighing the good ones, I will find some other nursing job to latch onto. Because that is one perk of nursing, there are a multitude of other jobs I could do. But for now, I'm okay where I'm at.

Exhausting!

--- 1 ---

My son is really going through a period of being difficult. I've mentioned this before. And well today is just no different. I started the day rough on him, and it has continued off an on through this morning. He is currently singing to himself in his crib...but it is time for "night nights" so there he will stay. It really all started when I didn't give him his milk. You see, we were going to a Weight Watchers meeting with my mom and I thought he would stay quiet for longer if he were to drink his milk at the meeting instead of in the car on the way there. My mistake was that he saw me pour his milk...and when I put his cup in the bag instead of in his hands, his whole world fell apart. I tried distracting him, and giving him other tasks, but it didn't work. So after snapping him in his car seat, he got his cup. Poor kid. Mama is so mean. ;) Then at the scale, I told him to stay with me, and he wasn't happy about that either. My mom got there after we did, so I had no one to hold, or watch him while I was weighing in. He got upset then too. Stickers from the leader didn't help. He just cried some more. But I was able to set him down so I could weigh in. And he was fine once I picked him up again. I could go on and on about this right now, so I will just move on to #2, which really is just a continuation of #1. ;)

--- 2 ---

He has been screaming a lot lately. And there seems to be nothing we can do to make him stop. I have tried whispering, ignoring, removal, and while the last one has worked to settle him down, I usually cannot return him to the same environment. For example, this morning my mom and I went out to breakfast, and after he felt he was done he started screaming at the top of his lungs. So I took him into the bathroom. At this age, there really is nothing to talk about, other than saying "Mommy said no screaming." Later on in life, we might have more productive bathroom trips in which conversations are had about what behavior is allowed in a restaurant. But for now we simply washed our hands. Upon returning to the table I attempted to put him back in his seat, and he started writhing and saying "No, No, No..." So I made a compromise and placed him in my lap. He was well behaved there and ate a bit more food. But goodness do I wish he didn't scream...crying is so much better. 

--- 3 ---

I find my motivation to clean, tidy and organize dwindles by the time Riley is put down for his nap. I really want to do these things before I get out of bed in the morning, but he wears me down to the point that all I want to do is rest and eat some food. ;) Today I decided to try blogging and see if I can feel some ease of mind. Because I really do want to purge some items. I feel so cluttered and messy and wish getting rid of things was easy for me. 

--- 4 ---

I saw a pin on Pinterest the other day about making your own foaming hand soap. (and wouldn't you know I didn't repin in?!) But, I have always wondered what would happen if you put soap in a foaming soap dispenser, so I thought I would try it today. My Peach Bellini Bath and Body Works hand soap was pretty close to empty today, so I added some Johnson & Johnson Baby Wash to it, followed by some tap water, and carefully tilted the container until it was mixed. And poof! Foaming hand soap! Yippee! (I ended up searching on Pinterest for the idea and found this site if you need further instructions. It wasn't the pin I had seen, but it will do just fine. :) And can I just add that Pinterest is acting out a lot this morning! Goodness, will people please stop loving it as much as I do, so they stop hogging all the server space? Thanks in advance!

--- 5 ---

And I just had a total "Duh!" moment. I absolutely love to have foaming dish soap around so I can wash small dishes with a brush without making a sudsy sink...so I just bought a new bottle of the Dawn foaming dish soap, when I could totally be making my own! Seriously folks, what did I do without Pinterest? I mean...don't go there. It is just a waste of time... ;)

--- 6 ---

Yesterday was our Garbage day, and I was confused because they picked up our recycling, but not our garbage. So this morning I called to find out what was amok. Turns out, I didn't pay our bill. And they were scheduled to come pick up our cans soon. Oopsies. They didn't even leave a note or call to find out where our payment was. They were just going to take our cans and say adios. I paid my bill over the phone and asked if they send bills via email, since that usually is how I get my bills and signed up that way. I have also decided I need to create a chart for me to check off the bills each month as I pay them, because that is the second one I forgot to pay this month...(actually the garbage bill was from June! and they never sent me a second notice. How strange!) You would think I was pregnant or something...

--- 7 ---

I have been really feeling like I want to have a lot more kids than just the two my husband has planned for us. I guess I'll just have to re-address the issue after having number 2 (if we are able). Because perhaps I will change my own mind. Especially after mornings like today (see #'s 1-3 above). Also, we don't really have a lot of room for kidlets in this house. We could do some rearranging. (For example I would love to move my craft room into the den area, and put the computer either in the living room or in our bedroom. That would open up one more bedroom. So that the girls could have their own room and the boys could share one too. But I'm likely living in a dream world. I don't think my husband would let me take over the den. Would you babe?! :) Anyway, I've come to the conclusion that a pregnancy of multiples might satisfy my urge for more children, and abide by my husband's strict policy of two periods of infancy. So I've been willing for multiple eggs to drop. Go ahead and call me crazy. :)

--- 8 ---

And because I prefer even numbers to odd numbers I thought I would share one more tid-bit today. Since working at Weight Watchers, I find myself going to Trader Joe's a lot more. (They are in the same parking lot in Federal Way, so it is super convenient to go there for me). This last time I went I found Mochi Ice Cream and I was reminded of my dear friend Kristina. Here is a website review of them, but you really shouldn't read the review, because I don't agree. However, there are some good pictures of the ice cream balls and that you are allowed to look at. I thought they were quite tasty. They are ice cream balls with a mochi layer on the outside. Reminds me of our trip to TCBY. :) BUT they are 3 Points Plus each...so they are a bit high when it comes down to calories. I think I'm going to break away and have one now. :) Happy Friday!

For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!

Happy Friday!

After nearly 18 months, today I had my Mirena removed. There are a couple reasons for this, first, my son is almost 2, and I'm starting to feel a little itchy for a baby. And to be honest, I think he is too. At my cousin's house (who has 3 little girls) he loved pushing around a doll stroller with his Tigger in it. He is so very helpful (most of the time) and will assist with many chores. He throws things away for me, puts his toys away, and will push the right buttons on the dishwasher or washer/dryer when asked to. He also feeds the girls for us. We just have to fill the cup up with the amount we want them to have. He will pour the cup out into the bowl regardless of how much is in it. (And when he misses a couple pieces of dog food, he will sit there and pick each one up and put it in that dog's bowl. It is something he doesn't need to do, because they will eat it, but he is a slight neat freak.) :)

The second reason, is one that is a little bit more detailed. And for that reason I'm going to put it behind a "jump break." That way, it is your own fault if you accidentally read something you don't want to. It isn't too graphic, but it is a bit detailed and personal, so some people might not want to read about it. Hint: it involves my reproductive organs.

Read on...

Tears come in Twos

Riley woke up this morning, in a seemingly good mood. He was happy and talking this morning in his crib when I went in to get him. Nothing seemed unusual, as he handed me his Tigger, Dog, and two blankets before asking me to pick him up.

I had accidentally dropped my phone, okay so maybe someone helped me drop it. (I had set it on the front rail of Riley's crib and he touched it causing it to fall. I don't know for sure if it was intentional, and don't care either way, no harm was done to my phone.) Anyway, I went back into his room to get my phone and I wish that I had just stayed in there....from that moment on he was breaking down left and right. It was almost comical. He threw a bag of DVDs around the living room in protest. (over what I'm not sure) I considered taking a video of him mid-meltdown just to share my pain with others.

Tears flowed off and on. He was returned to his room. He was sat on the couch. He was hugged. He was kissed. He was fed. And eventually all of the DVDs were returned to the bag they were in. It was rough.

My darling boy is almost two. And he must have gotten the memo a little early. You all know what I'm talking about right? ;)

The poor kid is getting two molars in right now too, so I'm sure that is mostly what is upsetting him. Also the fact that he can't communicate his needs perfectly. I feel his frustration, so I have been trying to say what it is I think he was wanting at that moment. I hope that the more consistent I am, the sooner these tantrums will get better (or even disappear! a girl can be optimistic!). He is starting to talk a lot more these days. Most of it is gibberish, but sometimes words will surprise me.

The other day he said: "Where 'Cardi at?" (translation: where's Bacardi at? and for those of you who don't know, Bacardi is one of our dogs.) It was his first real sentence.

He keeps surprising my husband as well. Jamaal decided to tell Riley to ask Mommy for some cookies, so then Riley proceeded to say "cooookies" over and over again, in the most excited tone possible. Jamaal didn't realized Riley knew how to say "cookies" and probably didn't really think Riley would know what one was, but boy was he mistaken! I was a little upset, only because it was bedtime when the cookies were requested, so that meant Riley was up a little later than usual so he could partake in the sweets. (I could not be the one that turned down cookies, when he was so sweet to ask for them.) Although, when the cookies had to cook, Riley was a little upset that he had to wait, SO I was pretty close to sending him off to bed without. But, right now he is learning how to be patient, and sometimes that means Mommy and Daddy have to be extra patient...

Caught in a heat wave

Baking up a storm. The hottest day of the summer so far, (I'm not sure if that is true, but it sure felt like it!) and I decide to bake. :)

I blame my parents, because they dropped off their dog and with her came 3 close-to-overripe-bananas. The problem with this (as I like to eat speckled bananas) was that I already had 2 of my own on my fridge. So, I was forced to make some banana bread, and to change things up a bit, some banana chocolate chip cookies. IF the cookies are good I'll post them here. :) I've talked about the way I make cookies before, but if you need a reminder go here.

At this very moment I have a bowl of chocolate chip-banana-oatmeal cookies waiting to be scooped up, 4 small ramekins (and one medium sized) with Smitten's banana bread ready to bake, and my Kitchen-aid mixer bowl with a double batch of chocolate chip cookies. We ran out of chocolate chip cookies a couple weeks ago, and since I was already making a mess of my kitchen, AND making cookies my husband will not eat, I figured I better make him his favorite, too.

It has been too hot all day to even think about actually baking anything though. Once I sign off here, (and the little nugget is in bed) I'm going to start scooping the banana cookies. One problem with baking in a hot kitchen, is the dough gets too soft and gooey, the banana cookie dough has been in the fridge for longer and should be firm enough for me to scoop (then place on a cookie sheet) and into the freezer they will go!

There really is no other way to bake cookies. I love having frozen dough balls on hand! :)

I plan on freezing the mini banana breads and pulling them out for Riley and I to share (or for me to take to work) depending on my mood. :) I'm so happy that I have a deep freezer now. Oh that husband of mine sure spoils me!

The waiting room

Today I took Riley in to get weighed. He has been such a little guy for a very long time that my doctor wants to make sure he continues to grow. I was supposed to take him in last month but I got a little busy and didn't do it. Today he weighed in at a whopping 23.8 pounds! He is still pretty small for his age group, but is finally catching up with everyone else. 


While we were waiting to get seen (we just walk in to the doctor's office to weigh in) there was a little boy named Jordan reading a book on a love seat-type chair. We sat on the love seat chair that was back to back with Jordan's. He had some tousled hair that looked as though he had just woken up. (It was shortly after 11 am, so I wonder if he is taking advantage of summer and sleeping in late, or if he just really doesn't care about his hair. Being probably 7 or 8 and a boy it could have been either.) There is some anxiety that comes along with chatting with folks in a Doctor's office waiting area. Thoughts like "does this person have the flu?" or "are they being treated for shingles?" permeate my brain. So, I was a little hesitant to get friendly with young Jordan. I guess I should add, that when we were waiting in line to check in, Jordan smiled and waved at Riley and asked if Riley was Irish (because he was wearing an Ireland soccer shorts set). I could tell Riley wanted to meet Jordan, because he kept pulling me toward him.  He is really into interacting with other kids, it is cute to see him admire other kids. So that is why I chose to sit by Jordan. I knew I would have to keep getting up to get Riley, because he would go over to Jordan no matter what. 


Jordan closed his book and set it aside to talk with us. From our short interaction I learned that Jordan has a 3 year old little sister, he likes soccer and is obligated to like the Sounders but also likes some European teams as well, he shares my birthday (March 23rd), was going to be named Riley but was named after Michael Jordan instead(who's number is 23). Riley is big into waving right now and saying "bye" or "hi" to anyone going or coming, and one person got pulled back to their appointment, and he stood up and waved "bye" just a chattering away. Jordan commented on how much he was talking, and stated his 3 year old sister was talking about as much as he was. I told him that every child learns at their own pace, and he agreed that this was true. But I got the impression that he was saying that to make me feel good. Jordan just has this aura of calm around him. Seriously, I'm not generally all that friendly to people I meet. Especially while sitting in a Doctor's waiting room. Every breath could be filled with germs I don't want to meet. Every touch could cause a fever and stomach flu. You really just don't know. But there was something about little Jordan, who seemed wise beyond his years. Who knew a twenty-something, mother of one could sit down and chat comfortably with an 8 year old in a doctor's office waiting room?


I glanced at the title of the book as we were leaving, and noticed it was SEAL Team Six : Memoirs of an Elite Navy SEAL Sniper. Really quite a grown up book for such a young man. I wish I had stayed and waited with Jordan for his mom to come out. At least, I assume he was waiting for his mom. I didn't ask, as it wasn't really my business. But I wish I had stayed and told her what a wonderful young man she is raising. He must be such a wonderful big brother to his sister, as I watched him interact with Riley, I wished that he was Riley's big brother. He entertained us both. He played with Riley's helicopter while holding a conversation with me. He had us both in his little hand. I wish I would have stayed and told her all of these things, but, I'm sure she already knows. (At least for Jordan's sake, I hope so).

Tid Bits

• Today, as I was checking out at the grocery store, I bent down to pull out the 20-lb bag of rice out from under the cart, and it got caught on something and ripped open. It then proceeded to spill about 3-5 pounds of rice on the floor. In the middle of the check out aisle. I felt like a jerk. But at the same time I was annoyed that they don't have a gun-type scanner to scan those heavy items that need to stay in the cart. It is difficult to go shopping when you have a wiggly toddler, with Gumby arms that seem to grow a few feet each time. :) The checker and the bagger went to action very quickly. They called in someone else to go grab me a new bag of rice. I was going to offer to buy the one I ripped, but they were quick to offer a new one, and I didn't want to have  deal with getting that leaking bag home. The checker wasn't too friendly prior to this, but she was even more frigid after my mess. I began to wonder if she really just doesn't like children, or if she was just having a rough day. Riley also decided to play with the card scanner/ payment thing before I got to it, so I couldn't type in my phone number. That meant that she had to do it for me, which only annoyed her further. Finally, after I had scanned my debit card, and entered my pin, Riley got to it again and cancelled it out. So, while I thought I was all done with paying, I was not. When I got home I noticed that one of the coupons I had given her didn't go through, so I will be going back tomorrow to get the $3.00 I am owed. (My plan is to walk to the Safeway that is close by, I called ahead to make sure I don't have to return to the same one. It will give me about a mile and a half of walking.)

• After this shopping episode, Riley fell asleep in the car. I figured he would, it was just after two o'clock (and his usual nap time ranges from eleven to one in the afternoon). But I was able to transfer him into the living room, lay him on the floor, change his diaper, put his pants back on, and deposit him in his crib, without him waking up. Okay, his eyes fluttered, but that was all! I guess the trick is to wear them out fully, and they they sleep better?! (Ha! this is definitely not the case, but a girl can dream.)

• I met a little man earlier this week and he was pretty darn cute! :) I was a little nervous for Riley to meet him. He hasn't been around too many babies, and I wonder(ed) how he would adjust to a sibling. Upon walking into the house, he immediately gravitated toward Elias where he was sleeping in a little portable bed. Riley pointed at him and said "Night Night." He was very gentle and soft. Later, once Elias was awake, Riley was very interested in what was going on under that nursing cover. He wanted to look at the little guy. And as we were leaving he very gently caressed Elias' head. He was so soft and nice. It amazed me, because I haven't worked with him on this at all. I guess I have been trying to teach him to be gentle with our dogs, but I didn't think it would translate to babies. Now, that is not to say that Riley won't hit or get rough with a sibling, were he to get one. But it is a huge relief for me to see him interact appropriately with babies. And, I should add, to be interested, curious, and excited by babies. :)

• Today I decided to clean, organize, and purge a little from our pantry. It was beginning to be difficult to fit foods into it. Mostly because I have been shoving things in there rather quickly, instead of purposefully. I went through expiration dates and got rid of things that I would feel uncomfortable eating past the "use by" dates (ie: tuna, evaporated milk, etc). I suppose it was wasteful of me to toss them out, but I don't know what else I could do with them. Now, I need to go finish my project. :)

Maintenance

I am finding maintenance to be a little difficult for me. I have tried a couple weeks of just eating what I want and not tracking and haven't done so well. I knew that it wouldn't work, but I hoped that it would. You see, I know that sometime in the near future I might want to try to get pregnant again. And I will not be allowed to follow weight watchers while pregnant (for obvious reasons). So I thought that I would practice to see how my pregnancy might go, and I see myself falling into that "you are eating for two" rhythm again.

Yes, I do realize that I would be carrying another life around with me, and that is not something to take lightly, but I truly believe that I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes (with my first pregnancy) because of my poor diet during the first trimester. I ate what I wanted, and gave myself free reign because I was doing something noble. I was cultivating a life, and that meant I deserved some sort of reward for my hardship. As if to say that because I was sacrificing my body to grow a baby, I deserved something in return. The reward I chose for myself was food.

Last weekend my husband and I went camping and I knew going into it I wasn't going to worry about my intake. I knew I was going to make poor choices. I accepted that. But I hadn't prepared for our return home. All of the left over snack foods I had brought were staring me in the face. Chocolate bars, graham crackers, chips, cheez-it snack mix, fruit snacks, etc most of which were barely touched while camping. But because it is there, I have had my fair share of it now. I have a hard time with guilt in relation to food. (I know this isn't a new concept for people attempting to lose weight.) When we lose track sometimes it is the guilt that drives us further from our goal. I am attempting to break my own cycle by writing this down. I need that accountability piece that I haphazardly threw out the window a few weeks ago. For me, it is tracking what I eat using my e-tools. When I track, I look at my portions, I measure out foods, I assess whether I really want something or not, and I feel in control. When I don't, the opposite is true: my portions expand, the foods I choose are less healthful, I don't think before shoving food in my mouth, and I feel reckless.

Everyone hits roadblocks sometimes. Okay, so you just ate that entire can of Pringles chips, now what? Brush yourself off and start brand new. Start tracking again with the next bite of food you indulge in. Don't drown yourself in canned whipped cream because you can't believe you ate all those chips. Because pretty soon you'll be upset over that too. It is self-destructive behavior, that I can admit to taking part in a few times in my life. But this last week, I remember thinking that it didn't matter, since I had already strayed from the path so much.

My point is this: one can of Pringles won't put 25 pounds back on my body, but not caring might. This is me, brushing myself off and starting again. Who would have thought that maintenance would bring its own set of challenges and setbacks?

Yesterday I accepted a permanent position as a receptionist for Weight Watchers on Wednesday evenings in the Federal Way location. I am really excited about it, because I have only had 2 shifts since being hired in March (aside from the 5 training shifts I worked). It is difficult to remember everything, when you get very little exposure to everything. It will also help me to be held accountable.

The toothbrush

Today I used the tooth brush as a bribe. 

Riley was quite rowdy after dinner, as is his usual. He and I (and daddy usually, but not tonight) play a little before bedtime. One of his favorite things is to be tossed into the middle of our bed. (And before anyone screams out in alarm and calls CPS on me, just know that my hands don't leave him until right before he hits the pillows.) He is completely safe. :) The best part of this story though is the fact that my son can count to 3. :) He has been able to do it for some time now. He will put up his first finger and say "uh" (read "one") until I pick him up and count to 3 with him. Upon reaching 3 he will land in the middle of our bed in a fit of giggles, immediately turn on all fours and get as far away from me as possible. Because, the next part of the game is keep away from mommy. (If I were to reach him, I would likely take him down, and make him go play some place else.) Our king bed is incredibly high off of the ground. I need a kid's step stool to get up easily. So I will also count to three and do a belly flop onto the bed. He gets a kick out of it. :) 

He then had a good time playing with some toys and I started telling him it was time for "night nights." This means: run away from mommy. Don't let her near you. If she catches you she will make you sleepy. As long as you stay away from her, you won't be tired. 

I tried to get him to come close to me by setting a flash light within arms reach, but he came up to it, and just as I moved to get him he threw the flash light toward me and ran away. Little booger, sure is smart. :)

Then I decided once his pajamas were on we would brush his teeth, so I said, "Let's get your pajama's on so we can brush your teeth." He was excited about it, and finally decided to come to me. 

The kid loves brushing his teeth. It is adorable. He patiently waits for me to brush his teeth first, then loves brushing himself. The other day I noticed him making a noise while brushing. I couldn't figure it out at first until I realized what he was doing: every adult he has seen brush their teeth, has used an electric brush. He is making noise so that he too, has an electric brush. :) I will try to get a good video of it. Because I'm sure, as with most things, he will quickly grow out of this cute phase. 

Just an aside: He officially has 3 molars (he doesn't have one yet on the bottom left) and 4 front teeth (two top and two bottom). 

My Bountiful Basket

I heard about Bountiful Baskets on Facebook. I know that after you read this you are going to scurry on over to their website and look around.

Today my basket contained: (the prices in parentheses are what I would expect to pay for the produce in a retail store)

($2.80) A 5-pound bag of Russet Potatoes (+3 extra)
($1.69) A head of green leaf lettuce
($2.50) An 8-ounce package of mushrooms
($4.50) Spaghetti squash
($2.78) 2 cucumbers
($1.35) 5 bananas
($3.00) A mini watermelon
($5.00) 2 pineapples
($2.80) 5 apricots
($2.80) 5 plums
($3.75) Green grapes
($30.17) Total estimated Retail price


I paid $16.50 (plus a $3.00 newbie fee)

Plus I paid extra for some blueberries. I got twelve 6-oz clam shells of beautiful blueberries for $14.50 (That is just $1.21 each! You can't find them in the stores for that price.) Usually I find them for about $3.00 a piece.

($36.00) Twelve 6-oz clam shells of blueberries
($66.17) Total estimated Retail price (blueberries + above basket ingredients)
-$34.00  my contribution
$32.17 My total savings.

Honestly, I feel like I saved more than that, it kind of depends on the store. I rarely would find all of the above on sale during any given week.

The only downside to the basket is you don't really get to pick what you get. (Other than the blueberries) I had no choice. So, things like spaghetti squash and green leaf lettuce made their way into my home and they wouldn't normally. I got an extra pineapple, because sometimes there are extras and the volunteers just throw them in a basket. (There were other baskets that had extra lettuce, but I'm just hopeful I'll get through one head of lettuce let alone two.)

In a way though, this will force me to try new things. I will have to look up some recipes for spaghetti squash, if you have one, shoot it my way. :)

Now I have to figure out how many of the blueberries I am freezing, and how many I am keeping in the fridge. Riley and I already devoured one package. :) He saw the rest of them after his bath and got really excited. He would eat them all day if I let him! :)

I plan on cleaning all of the fruit using this tip I found on Pinterest. Oh my do I feel thrifty today! Hopefully Riley will allow me to get all of this done.

**UPDATE** After I posted this (and Riley went down for a nap) I started unloading my haul and noticed I had miscounted: there are 3 cucumbers, 7 plums and 11 apricots. Also, the price I used on the grapes was for 1.5 pounds and I actually have 2.5 pounds. Here is the updated tally:



($2.80) A 5-pound bag of Russet Potatoes (+3 extra)
($1.69) A head of green leaf lettuce
($2.50) An 8-ounce package of mushrooms
($4.50) Spaghetti squash
($4.17) 3 cucumbers
($1.35) 5 bananas
($3.00) A mini watermelon
($5.00) 2 pineapples
($6.16) 11 apricots
($3.92) 7 plums
($6.20) 2.5lbs Green grapes
($36.00) Twelve 6-oz clam shells of blueberries
($77.29) Total estimated Retail price
-$34.00 (my contribution)
$43.29 my total savings!


That's a little better. ;)

Happy Anniversary

7 years ago today Jamaal and I were sitting on his couch in his apartment watching Shark Tale. We were at an awkward place in our relationship. We had started talking in emails back and forth while I was at school across the state. Then I came home for the summer. We hung out everyday (after I was healed from having my tonsils removed) from about May 15th on.

I got an email from him around June 3rd (or so) that basically said: I like you a lot, I want to be more than friends, but I'm not sure what you want.

It was a very tricky time. We both felt the same, but didn't know how to move past being friends.

So there we are on his couch, he had his arm around my shoulders, my head resting on his chest. Completely comfortable, and yet oh so awkward. The ending credits began to roll and there we sat, both of us afraid to move. Unsure of what to do. I wanted him to kiss me, he wanted to kiss me. But he was in a position where he would have to really jostle me in order to be able to find my lips.

After nearly watching all of the credits...seriously folks it was so awkward, I finally decided that it just had to be done. We had to break that tense line. And I kissed him first.

We still laugh a little about that. And Shark Tale holds a special place in our hearts.

7 years later, I am married to my best friend. We had our first kiss as boyfriend and girlfriend on the same day as our first kiss as husband and wife (albeit 4 years later).

Happy Anniversary Babe. I love you!

Mother of the Year Award

On Tuesday I learned an important lesson: always have gauze and tape on hand at all times, especially with a little man in the house.

Prior to Tuesday, I lived in a land where I thought Band-aids were the key to everything. Wounds tend to heal faster when they are covered with a cartoon character, right? And perhaps this is true in the land of little girls (those of you with young girls in the house will have to help me on this one) but in this house, Band-aids are something to be pulled off immediately. The tighter it is placed, the harder one tries to get it off. If shaking the hand fiercely does not get it off, the other hand gets involved with pulling it off. One does not rest until said Band-aid is off. (Okay, because this is my blog I will admit to one thing: the Band-aid's I used were not actually brand name...so really I should refer to them as "adhesive bandages" instead. But I thought perhaps people might recognize the name easier. And while I'm clearing the air, I should also say that the adhesive bandages I have are plain old brown and not covered with fancy cartoon characters. Perhaps if I had the fancy ones he would have just let it be?!)

This week, my mom planned to go out of town Tuesday afternoon, and that meant we had to go to Weight Watchers on Tuesday (instead of our usual Wednesday). I called her to see when she was going to come by and she said she was going to take a shower first. This sounded like a good idea, though I dislike taking showers when a little man is wide awake. But I have done it before, so I hopped on in. I shut him into my room and left the bathroom door open so he could talk with me while I showered. I have checked all the drawers before, to make sure there isn't anything dangerous for little boys, but as it turns out I didn't check thoroughly enough. I saw Riley walk out of the bathroom with the cradle for Jamaal's face razor and thought I saw a battery drop. While I am not okay with him playing with batteries, I did not think he would hurt himself in the short time I had left of my shower. A minute or two later I heard him making noise. He wasn't crying, but maybe whimpering is an appropriate descriptive word. I called for him to come to me, and in he came holding a razor blade in his hand. (You know the kind us ladies use on their legs, that has 4 different blades in one, only this is my husband's and used on his face). It turns out the cradle to Jamaal's razor has a secret place on the back that can store razor blades. I didn't realize this when I looked through the drawers.

I didn't want to panic him. So I crouched down low, held out my hand and calmly said "Can mommy have that please?" He handed it over, and once I had it in my hand I scooped him up and rinsed his hands, to assess the damage. Miraculously his only wound was a little cut on the top of his ring finger on his right hand. It appears that he scraped off a layer of skin, but a very very small area. Just a little smaller than a pink pencil eraser. But boy did that sucker bleed. I used a wash cloth with cold water on it, to put pressure on his finger, and after 15 minutes (of fighting him to let me hold it) it was still bleeding. It didn't seem to make a difference. I placed two different adhesive bandages only for him to take them off immediately (see above :) ). I was at my wits end. Since my mom was on her way, I called her to tell her my predicament, and wondered if she had any ideas. She told me she would bring some gauze and tape and we could try that. Now, mind you, I am completely naked. After I placed the first adhesive bandages, I jumped into the shower (which was left on of course) and rinsed the last bits of soap off of me. But my next priority was getting him to stop bleeding. At least it was my mother that came to help me and not someone else. :)

I passed him off to her when she finally arrived, brushed my hair, and got dressed. Then we proceeded to cover his "owie" with nonstick gauze and tape. As I was wrapping his finger I realized that he would just as easily pull it off as he did the adhesive bandages, so I decided to wrap his pinkie finger as well. Just to help make sure it stayed on. With the exception of one time when he was in the car, he left this bandage alone.

Later that afternoon I had a meeting to go to, so my FIL was in charge. I left the roll of tape and some gauze with him just in case it needed to be wrapped again. But I figured we wouldn't need it anymore.

Fast forward to the evening. Jamaal, Riley and I are in the living room. Riley went around the coffee table to his dad, and Jamaal swept Riley's feet out from under him to pick him up, but Riley wasn't expecting it and collapsed his torso forward. Hitting his forehead on the coffee table. We knew it was one that hurt, it has happened many a time. Jamaal looked at me with empathy for the little guy as he held Riley in front of him, comforting him. As he swayed side to side, I caught a glimpse of blood, and I sprung from the couch and ran to get a cloth. I said something like "Crap he's bleeding" or something, and that is when Jamaal turned Riley to look at him. Blood was all over the place. I came back with a washcloth and looked at Jamaal (who had Riley's blood all over his arm) and said "Let's get him in the bath." It just seemed like an easier place to assess him, because his clothes were getting messy. By the time we got him in the bathtub (and because I was worried about him, I went in too) it had stopped bleeding. I was surprised, because head wounds usually bleed the longest, but we lucked out this time. (I think it has something to do with the grape sized lump that formed under the cut...) After his bath I tried putting a butterfly bandage on it, but he didn't hold still, so it wasn't put on right. We didn't want to mess with him so I left it on him. Over that we put gauze and tape, and he actually left it alone pretty well.

We gave the little guy some Tylenol, a bottle, and he fell right asleep in my arms. After not having much of a nap, and all of the excitement, I wasn't surprised at all. I was glad that he was asleep when I put him in his crib, so I knew that he didn't mess with his bandage. He still has the butterfly on, because he won't let me take it off. So he looks pretty tough. :) (I started this post on Thursday...after Jamaal got home from work, he had a personal vendetta to remove the butterfly bandage, and after chasing Riley around the living room, it finally came off. Along with about 20 pieces of the kid's hair.) He didn't cry though, as he is tough as nails.

Thursday I went out and bought tape, gauze, wound glue, and a large first-aid kit. I'll be ready for the next adventure. (Though I would prefer none at all!)

The Joy of Scrubs

With my new job I have come to realize that a major reason I became a nurse in the first place is to avoid having to dress fancy on a daily basis. Seriously kids, scrubs are easy. My biggest decision is usually which color scrub pants to wear in the morning.

And...*gasp*...I sometimes even pick out my outfit the night before. In the dark. By feel. Let's face it, I close my eyes and grab a top and bottom.

Haha. I wish, but seriously it is that easy. I have enough assortment that I'm not bored. (I have several tops that look great with at least 3 different colored pants, which completely changes the look of the ensemble.)

And you know what? I don't have to worry about flab or bloat, because scrubs pretty much take any shape you have and turn it generic.

(Can I just add that I have a few tops now that I don't like to wear, because they are a size Large, and make me look about 50 pounds heavier! Just another example of what I thought after I had Riley: I would never lose the weight, and might as well just deal with it. I seriously thought that. 25 pounds. That is two 10-pound bags of potatoes, and one 5-pound bag of potatoes. Picture yourself carting that around the grocery store, without a cart. And I had just succumbed to the idea of never losing that weight. I could talk all day about this simple fact. But I thought that extra weight was meant to stay on after having a baby, and it was something I would have to live with forever. Lesson learned: don't go to a scrub store during it's "Closing for Good" sale, after having a baby.)

Ahem.

So here is the scenario that spurred the idea behind this blog post:

I went to a meeting/seminar for Weight Watchers, and had to dress in business casual attire. It wasn't gorgeous out so I picked some grey slacks and a blouse that looks fancy. The meeting got over a bit earlier than I thought, so I went to Starbucks for a Grande Nonfat Caramel Macchiato and Venti Ice Water. I wanted to add some money on my gift card (because I have my cards registered, and recently became a Gold Member, so I want every drink to count toward my buy 15 get one free!!) so that meant I went inside instead of going through the drive thru. This was fine with me, since I had some time to kill.

I sat inside for a few minutes sipping my coffee and water, reading Divergent on my Kindle app. (Let me pause a moment only to say, that this book is the next Hunger Games, it is hard to put down. I cannot wait for the next book, and I'm not even finished with this one yet!)

After relaxing and enjoying my book, I had to drive to work in Seattle (a good 35 minute jaunt). By the time I had arrived, I realized that I was going to wet myself if I didn't find a bathroom soon. Seriously folks it was a pee-mergency. I don't think I've had one that bad since I was pregnant. And honestly, I feel like this was 10 times worse. Arriving at an odd hour, the usual parking spots were all taken, so I had to park at the other end of the lot. An extra 500 feet at least. I was desperate enough to see if one of the buildings back there had a rest room, but had no luck there. Then, as I passed bush covered trees, I contemplated making a tinkle camping style. I weighed the pro's and con's, but chose to sacrifice wetting myself (and calling in sick) to possibly losing my job for "indecent exposure."

I am pretty sure I walked a mile to get to the nearest bathroom. No joke, they make staff members park as far away as possible.

Now, let me just say that I had previously used the restroom after dressing that morning, so I already knew the disturbing fact that the slacks I was wearing had FIVE buttons on them, plus a zipper. Beauty is pain, they say.

As I was walking, I couldn't stop thinking about getting to a bathroom. I even prepped by unbuttoning 3 of the 5 buttons. And yet I still had trouble with the 2 remaining, and the zipper.

Don't worry, though. I made it safely into the bathroom without embarrassing myself.

After this day I realized the profound respect I have for those business women who dress in ridiculously buttoned slacks on a daily basis. And how much I appreciate scrubs.

7 quick takes...

1. I just realized I've sort of dropped off of the face of the blogging world...again. Oops. Didn't mean to. But these things, they happen. ;)

2. Last weekend was my birthday. My husband and I made a quick trip down to Portland to visit with his (and my) friend. We went with a few other people, so I didn't really have time to visit with MY friend. Sorry Kristina, wished I would have had time to visit with you.

3. This week I will begin making invitations for Jamaal's Grandma's 80th birthday. I am nervous and excited to see how they turn out. I've done a practice version to figure out the dimensions I will need, and it seems pretty simple actually. Thursday my MIL will come over to help me get started on making them. Mostly, I think she will be in charge of the little tyke. :)

4. I have been busy making new recipes lately. Mostly I have inspiration from Pinterest. But, I also had to get creative. I took a couple ingredients and Googled recipes with those ingredients. I made a pretty tasty Cottage Pie (Shepard's Pie made with ground beef instead of ground lamb), some bacon wrapped chicken tenders, and a Potato and bacon torte. All were good. I plan on writing out the recipes, but don't know when that will happen. :)

5. I have finished my online training for Weight Watchers, now I get to do my in house training, and I am a bit nervous. The unknown certainly is a bit nerve wracking isn't it?!

6. I am a bit obsessed with Draw Something, a game app I have on my phone. (If you have an android or I-phone you should check it out. But consider yourself warned, it is addicting!) Unlike some other games you play with friends, it isn't really competitive. In other words, you don't really beat the other person. The whole point is to draw something and the other person guesses the word. The nice thing is that the guesser has some clues: the length of the word, and the letters (with some extras to throw them off). I crack up laughing most of the time while drawing or guessing. And, sometimes it is funny to watch the other person trying to guess my drawing. The longer they take, the worse my drawing usually is. :) The app sucks the life out of my phone though.

7. Our house is a disaster area at the moment. We went out of town for the weekend, and when we left it was already a little messy. Now it is in disarray. I wish I had the next couple days off so I could organize and tidy up. But alas, I have to work the next couple days. :( Oh well. The good news is when I get home tomorrow it will still be light out, so I should have some energy left in me to get a little tidying in. :)

Happy Monday To you all!

My Little Helper

I haven't really written about my little man lately. He has really started to grow up in the last few weeks. He's talking a lot more, and is interested in what I'm doing. And does a lot of mimicking.


I had read here about a single chore they had given to their toddler: throwing away dirty diapers. I thought: "I should have Riley do that too." The first couple times, he didn't really get what I was asking him to do, but shortly (after only a day) he was anxious for me to hand him his dirty diapers so he could toss them. He usually doesn't need any coaxing, except for an occasional "here." as I remind him he has a job to do. Now, I'm pretty sure if he saw me throw his diaper away, he would get upset that I didn't let him do it. ;)


Shortly after I had started doing this with him, he went to spend the weekend with his Nana. The first day back home, he spent 30 minutes (nearly straight) lint rolling my kitchen floor. I had to call Nana (my mother in law) to see if she had been using him as free labor. She laughed and said, that he had been helping her sweep. She said he grabbed the dust pan and held it for her as she swept her dust piles into it. She said he even helped her to throw it into the garbage (with her assistance). BUT, she insisted, it was his idea. She didn't care if he helped her or not. He wanted to.


Today, as I was making dinner, he found a piece of fluff on the ground (likely from a dog's toy). I asked him to throw it away for me, and he walked right to the garbage and threw it in. After the lid was shut he clapped his hands and said "yay!" 


He goes around the house shutting doors and toilet lids and closing drawers. Sometimes it is sweet, and cute. And oh so helpful. But other times, like when mama's arm is still inside the refrigerator, it isn't. It hurts even. ;)


But maybe, just maybe, we have a tidy little mister in the making. One who enjoys cleaning and being neat. A mama can dream, right?

We use his wagon as a toy box for now, because toy storage systems are quite expensive! 

Yogurt and oatmeal for breakfast one morning. He insists on feeding himself. He will then accept a spoon from me, as long as he has one in his hands. 

Peanut butter on crackers. He sucked the peanut butter off, then crumbled the remaining crackers. I thought he was eating some of them, only to find them in his lap when I got him out of his seat. ;) What a goose!