Tid Bits

• Today, as I was checking out at the grocery store, I bent down to pull out the 20-lb bag of rice out from under the cart, and it got caught on something and ripped open. It then proceeded to spill about 3-5 pounds of rice on the floor. In the middle of the check out aisle. I felt like a jerk. But at the same time I was annoyed that they don't have a gun-type scanner to scan those heavy items that need to stay in the cart. It is difficult to go shopping when you have a wiggly toddler, with Gumby arms that seem to grow a few feet each time. :) The checker and the bagger went to action very quickly. They called in someone else to go grab me a new bag of rice. I was going to offer to buy the one I ripped, but they were quick to offer a new one, and I didn't want to have  deal with getting that leaking bag home. The checker wasn't too friendly prior to this, but she was even more frigid after my mess. I began to wonder if she really just doesn't like children, or if she was just having a rough day. Riley also decided to play with the card scanner/ payment thing before I got to it, so I couldn't type in my phone number. That meant that she had to do it for me, which only annoyed her further. Finally, after I had scanned my debit card, and entered my pin, Riley got to it again and cancelled it out. So, while I thought I was all done with paying, I was not. When I got home I noticed that one of the coupons I had given her didn't go through, so I will be going back tomorrow to get the $3.00 I am owed. (My plan is to walk to the Safeway that is close by, I called ahead to make sure I don't have to return to the same one. It will give me about a mile and a half of walking.)

• After this shopping episode, Riley fell asleep in the car. I figured he would, it was just after two o'clock (and his usual nap time ranges from eleven to one in the afternoon). But I was able to transfer him into the living room, lay him on the floor, change his diaper, put his pants back on, and deposit him in his crib, without him waking up. Okay, his eyes fluttered, but that was all! I guess the trick is to wear them out fully, and they they sleep better?! (Ha! this is definitely not the case, but a girl can dream.)

• I met a little man earlier this week and he was pretty darn cute! :) I was a little nervous for Riley to meet him. He hasn't been around too many babies, and I wonder(ed) how he would adjust to a sibling. Upon walking into the house, he immediately gravitated toward Elias where he was sleeping in a little portable bed. Riley pointed at him and said "Night Night." He was very gentle and soft. Later, once Elias was awake, Riley was very interested in what was going on under that nursing cover. He wanted to look at the little guy. And as we were leaving he very gently caressed Elias' head. He was so soft and nice. It amazed me, because I haven't worked with him on this at all. I guess I have been trying to teach him to be gentle with our dogs, but I didn't think it would translate to babies. Now, that is not to say that Riley won't hit or get rough with a sibling, were he to get one. But it is a huge relief for me to see him interact appropriately with babies. And, I should add, to be interested, curious, and excited by babies. :)

• Today I decided to clean, organize, and purge a little from our pantry. It was beginning to be difficult to fit foods into it. Mostly because I have been shoving things in there rather quickly, instead of purposefully. I went through expiration dates and got rid of things that I would feel uncomfortable eating past the "use by" dates (ie: tuna, evaporated milk, etc). I suppose it was wasteful of me to toss them out, but I don't know what else I could do with them. Now, I need to go finish my project. :)

Maintenance

I am finding maintenance to be a little difficult for me. I have tried a couple weeks of just eating what I want and not tracking and haven't done so well. I knew that it wouldn't work, but I hoped that it would. You see, I know that sometime in the near future I might want to try to get pregnant again. And I will not be allowed to follow weight watchers while pregnant (for obvious reasons). So I thought that I would practice to see how my pregnancy might go, and I see myself falling into that "you are eating for two" rhythm again.

Yes, I do realize that I would be carrying another life around with me, and that is not something to take lightly, but I truly believe that I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes (with my first pregnancy) because of my poor diet during the first trimester. I ate what I wanted, and gave myself free reign because I was doing something noble. I was cultivating a life, and that meant I deserved some sort of reward for my hardship. As if to say that because I was sacrificing my body to grow a baby, I deserved something in return. The reward I chose for myself was food.

Last weekend my husband and I went camping and I knew going into it I wasn't going to worry about my intake. I knew I was going to make poor choices. I accepted that. But I hadn't prepared for our return home. All of the left over snack foods I had brought were staring me in the face. Chocolate bars, graham crackers, chips, cheez-it snack mix, fruit snacks, etc most of which were barely touched while camping. But because it is there, I have had my fair share of it now. I have a hard time with guilt in relation to food. (I know this isn't a new concept for people attempting to lose weight.) When we lose track sometimes it is the guilt that drives us further from our goal. I am attempting to break my own cycle by writing this down. I need that accountability piece that I haphazardly threw out the window a few weeks ago. For me, it is tracking what I eat using my e-tools. When I track, I look at my portions, I measure out foods, I assess whether I really want something or not, and I feel in control. When I don't, the opposite is true: my portions expand, the foods I choose are less healthful, I don't think before shoving food in my mouth, and I feel reckless.

Everyone hits roadblocks sometimes. Okay, so you just ate that entire can of Pringles chips, now what? Brush yourself off and start brand new. Start tracking again with the next bite of food you indulge in. Don't drown yourself in canned whipped cream because you can't believe you ate all those chips. Because pretty soon you'll be upset over that too. It is self-destructive behavior, that I can admit to taking part in a few times in my life. But this last week, I remember thinking that it didn't matter, since I had already strayed from the path so much.

My point is this: one can of Pringles won't put 25 pounds back on my body, but not caring might. This is me, brushing myself off and starting again. Who would have thought that maintenance would bring its own set of challenges and setbacks?

Yesterday I accepted a permanent position as a receptionist for Weight Watchers on Wednesday evenings in the Federal Way location. I am really excited about it, because I have only had 2 shifts since being hired in March (aside from the 5 training shifts I worked). It is difficult to remember everything, when you get very little exposure to everything. It will also help me to be held accountable.

The toothbrush

Today I used the tooth brush as a bribe. 

Riley was quite rowdy after dinner, as is his usual. He and I (and daddy usually, but not tonight) play a little before bedtime. One of his favorite things is to be tossed into the middle of our bed. (And before anyone screams out in alarm and calls CPS on me, just know that my hands don't leave him until right before he hits the pillows.) He is completely safe. :) The best part of this story though is the fact that my son can count to 3. :) He has been able to do it for some time now. He will put up his first finger and say "uh" (read "one") until I pick him up and count to 3 with him. Upon reaching 3 he will land in the middle of our bed in a fit of giggles, immediately turn on all fours and get as far away from me as possible. Because, the next part of the game is keep away from mommy. (If I were to reach him, I would likely take him down, and make him go play some place else.) Our king bed is incredibly high off of the ground. I need a kid's step stool to get up easily. So I will also count to three and do a belly flop onto the bed. He gets a kick out of it. :) 

He then had a good time playing with some toys and I started telling him it was time for "night nights." This means: run away from mommy. Don't let her near you. If she catches you she will make you sleepy. As long as you stay away from her, you won't be tired. 

I tried to get him to come close to me by setting a flash light within arms reach, but he came up to it, and just as I moved to get him he threw the flash light toward me and ran away. Little booger, sure is smart. :)

Then I decided once his pajamas were on we would brush his teeth, so I said, "Let's get your pajama's on so we can brush your teeth." He was excited about it, and finally decided to come to me. 

The kid loves brushing his teeth. It is adorable. He patiently waits for me to brush his teeth first, then loves brushing himself. The other day I noticed him making a noise while brushing. I couldn't figure it out at first until I realized what he was doing: every adult he has seen brush their teeth, has used an electric brush. He is making noise so that he too, has an electric brush. :) I will try to get a good video of it. Because I'm sure, as with most things, he will quickly grow out of this cute phase. 

Just an aside: He officially has 3 molars (he doesn't have one yet on the bottom left) and 4 front teeth (two top and two bottom).