The other day Jamaal got a package from FedEx. This is nothing too out of the ordinary, he gets packages quite frequently. So, I set it aside, curious to know what was inside. When he got home from work that day, I was in the other room folding clothes. He came to me after about 30 minutes with a HP Touchpad (HP's version of the Ipad). I was a bit shocked. It was unexpected. I started thinking, "Is this a birthday gift, a month early? Perhaps a Valentine's Day present a little early?" I didn't really know.
Eventually he tells me that it is a gift for making it to my weight goal. That I was not expecting. I was breathless for a moment. Up until then he had made little, to no notice of my weight loss. I would tell him every week how much I had lost, and he would say something like "yay" with no real feeling or excitement behind it. He wasn't trying to be cruel, it is just the way he expresses himself. But I sometimes wanted a little more from him.
Another example. A few weeks back, I went to get Riley from my mother-in-laws. I had just gone shopping for some clothes that fit, and had a new outfit on. The next day Jamaal said to me: "My mom says you look skinny." I can't remember for sure if I called him on that comment or not. Your mom thinks I look skinny, but what do you think? Hmm?!
He has been making comments about how saggy my pants are, which I know translates to: You need clothes that fit, and ultimately that I have lost weight. But he never really went out and said he was proud of me.
But when he presented me with this gift it hit me that he had noticed. Of course I knew that, but sometimes it is nice to hear the obvious.
So here I am, typing out this post using the wireless keyboard he got me to go with it. :) The only thing he didn't get me was a case for it, because he wanted me to pick it out. :)
A friend asked me today if that meant I would post some more, and maybe I will. At least I will try. But it is ever so hard for me to pull away from The Hunger Games (I bought the series for my Kindle app first thing.) But I'm sure I will finish reading it eventually. :)
Showing posts with label ME. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ME. Show all posts
Friday, February 10, 2012
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Losing the weight
I started writing this post earlier this week.
11/30/2011
Wednesday. Weigh in day. Today caused me much anxiety, mostly due to the fact that Thanksgiving was last week, and I had 4 slices of pie during that time. Plus several servings of my mom's fabulous stuffing. (But not all on the same day. It was so scrumptious as leftovers!) I was always conscious of the serving sizes on my plate. I bought a scale at one of the meetings a couple weeks back, and I use that A LOT when I'm making up my plate. I always thought my biggest problem was snacking. When I was home with Riley I found myself in the pantry a lot, pulling out bags of chips to snack out of, or making super buttery popcorn, and eat it ALL. But now I realize my biggest problem was portion control. I still snack a lot. But I measure out my snacks first. I make sure I don't overindulge, unless it really seems worth it to me.
Like homemade pecan pie. That, my friends, is worth it to me. ;)
Anyway...I was pretty nervous standing on that scale waiting for my results when the receptionist said "You lost 0.8 pounds. Good job!"
I didn't share, but last week I hit my first 10 pound mark. (The week before I lost 5% of my body weight.)
And today, 12/4/2011 I fit back into my pre-pregnancy jeans. Just shy of one year after he was born, and I can say I fit in my old jeans again. Comfortably.
I have to say, I am very proud of myself. It feels amazing to be able to look in the mirror and be happier with what I see. I was feeling pretty crummy about myself before I started losing weight. I am still on the losing side of this journey though, I have about 8 pounds left to lose until my goal weight, but it feels doable now. I still have a little "muffin top," but I had that before I got pregnant. So, it would be nice to lose it.
I keep thinking about those lucky few ladies who have babies and are in their pre-pregnancy jeans within 6 weeks. I was hoping and praying that I would be one of those women who could blink and lose 15 pounds (and well I did that for the first 20 pounds, but I had more weight to lose than 20 pounds.) But it became abundantly clear to me that I was not in that category. I'm okay with that now. Because I have lost 12+ pounds and I am almost there. I can feel it. I feel my confidence building. I feel sexier. But most of all, I feel like I could do it all over again.
And hopefully I will. Only next time I vow to only gain 20 pounds, not 40 as I did the first time. Even though I had read about pregnancy and what to eat, and what not to eat, and how you only need 400 calories more to help support a pregnancy. I still felt entitled to treats, extra helpings, and extravagant desserts, because I was carrying something precious. I have a feeling that that is why I was diagnosed with Gestational Diabetes. Because I was so overly careless with my diet during the first and second trimester. I did not feel like I was being careless at the time. But looking back, I relied too much on my cravings, and not so much on my dietary requirements.
I craved Coke Icees from Burger King, and some weeks I would have one nearly every day. That meant getting off an exit before mine, just to get one. (During the summer months they are only $1, so it is a steal of a deal.) I would go through the drive thru just for one. Carbs were what I wanted.
I think that this is the reason why I had such a difficult time with the diagnosis and changing my diet. Carbohydrates had become the majority of my caloric intake. I didn't know anything else. Now I feel like I have a better grasp on what I need versus what I want. That is not to say that I won't treat myself to a slice of cheesecake or some french fries, but I will do so in moderation.
This is still true now, even while I am only nourishing myself (I suppose I am also nourishing Riley, as he is still nursing some.) I am taking what I learned while pregnant, and what I have learned so far while on Weight Watchers, and applying it to my life. Because while I wish I could eat whatever I want when I want it, realistically I know that my health is more important.
11/30/2011
Wednesday. Weigh in day. Today caused me much anxiety, mostly due to the fact that Thanksgiving was last week, and I had 4 slices of pie during that time. Plus several servings of my mom's fabulous stuffing. (But not all on the same day. It was so scrumptious as leftovers!) I was always conscious of the serving sizes on my plate. I bought a scale at one of the meetings a couple weeks back, and I use that A LOT when I'm making up my plate. I always thought my biggest problem was snacking. When I was home with Riley I found myself in the pantry a lot, pulling out bags of chips to snack out of, or making super buttery popcorn, and eat it ALL. But now I realize my biggest problem was portion control. I still snack a lot. But I measure out my snacks first. I make sure I don't overindulge, unless it really seems worth it to me.
Like homemade pecan pie. That, my friends, is worth it to me. ;)
Anyway...I was pretty nervous standing on that scale waiting for my results when the receptionist said "You lost 0.8 pounds. Good job!"
I didn't share, but last week I hit my first 10 pound mark. (The week before I lost 5% of my body weight.)
And today, 12/4/2011 I fit back into my pre-pregnancy jeans. Just shy of one year after he was born, and I can say I fit in my old jeans again. Comfortably.
I have to say, I am very proud of myself. It feels amazing to be able to look in the mirror and be happier with what I see. I was feeling pretty crummy about myself before I started losing weight. I am still on the losing side of this journey though, I have about 8 pounds left to lose until my goal weight, but it feels doable now. I still have a little "muffin top," but I had that before I got pregnant. So, it would be nice to lose it.
I keep thinking about those lucky few ladies who have babies and are in their pre-pregnancy jeans within 6 weeks. I was hoping and praying that I would be one of those women who could blink and lose 15 pounds (and well I did that for the first 20 pounds, but I had more weight to lose than 20 pounds.) But it became abundantly clear to me that I was not in that category. I'm okay with that now. Because I have lost 12+ pounds and I am almost there. I can feel it. I feel my confidence building. I feel sexier. But most of all, I feel like I could do it all over again.
And hopefully I will. Only next time I vow to only gain 20 pounds, not 40 as I did the first time. Even though I had read about pregnancy and what to eat, and what not to eat, and how you only need 400 calories more to help support a pregnancy. I still felt entitled to treats, extra helpings, and extravagant desserts, because I was carrying something precious. I have a feeling that that is why I was diagnosed with Gestational Diabetes. Because I was so overly careless with my diet during the first and second trimester. I did not feel like I was being careless at the time. But looking back, I relied too much on my cravings, and not so much on my dietary requirements.
I craved Coke Icees from Burger King, and some weeks I would have one nearly every day. That meant getting off an exit before mine, just to get one. (During the summer months they are only $1, so it is a steal of a deal.) I would go through the drive thru just for one. Carbs were what I wanted.
I think that this is the reason why I had such a difficult time with the diagnosis and changing my diet. Carbohydrates had become the majority of my caloric intake. I didn't know anything else. Now I feel like I have a better grasp on what I need versus what I want. That is not to say that I won't treat myself to a slice of cheesecake or some french fries, but I will do so in moderation.
This is still true now, even while I am only nourishing myself (I suppose I am also nourishing Riley, as he is still nursing some.) I am taking what I learned while pregnant, and what I have learned so far while on Weight Watchers, and applying it to my life. Because while I wish I could eat whatever I want when I want it, realistically I know that my health is more important.
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Mommy Time
On Sunday, Jamaal's day off, I decided to go get my hair cut and colored. I had prepared ahead of time by pumping 2 ounces. I instructed Jamaal how to bottle feed him according to The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding, so as to not undermine our progress with breastfeeding. I hoped that they wouldn't have to use it, because some babies have a hard time using bottles for the first time. I had to sort of kick myself out and not look back, because I was worried about how this short separation would go.
Usually a hair cut and color only takes 1.5 hours at the most, unfortunately this trip ended up being 4 hours long. The hairdresser did a good job, but took her sweet time doing it. I texted Jamaal a couple times to check in on my boys, and he said that things were going fine. He said he took the bottle fine and all was good. I kind of got upset that Riley didn't miss me. How could my little man survive without me this well, when he seems to need me so much when I'm with him?!
The stylist ended up undercharging me for the haircut and color, which kind of made the whole experience worth it. I've lucked out the last two trips to this salon. (last time I went I ended up with a "free" foil and hair cut because the guy had a hard time getting the $30 gift card I had to work. He finally voided the transaction, which voided the part he had charged on my debit card, and sent me on my way. I was never charged the rest of the total which was about $60!)
When I got home, Riley was sleeping. "Has he been sleeping the whole time?" I asked.
No. He had been screaming the whole time. Other than the time when he had the bottle, which he took like a seasoned pro. We have two different definitions of "fine," I guess. Maybe he didn't want me worrying so he stretched the truth a little. I hope that is the case. My poor guy then proceeded to sleep. I tried waking him to nurse, and he did, but not for long. He didn't seem as interested. I think he was mad at me for abandoning him. On the plus side, he slept most of the night, waking to nurse for about 20 minutes at a time (when he does usually like to nurse a little longer at night) and going straight back to sleep. Monday morning I woke up so refreshed and exhilarated. I was able to do some laundry and feel like I accomplished something. It was wonderful.
Of course Monday night, was not the same. The night started out okay, but ended poorly: we were up from 0440 until 0800. My mom and I had planned on going to Tacoma so that I could spend some of the gift cards we received from Babies R Us. I had stipulated that we would only go if Riley slept some through the night, and since that didn't happen, the plans had to change. Instead, we went to Target to return a couple things (a sweater Jamaal didn't want and a bottle warmer I didn't want), and buy a few things (like baby diapers and paper towels.)
My mom took Riley while I was returning my items. I was wandering through the store and heard his cry. I could pick him out of a line up, something I wasn't quite sure I could do before today. ;) He was not a happy man. We had hoped that he would sleep through the trip, but he was in a "I'm starving" mode prior to leaving the house. We just decided that if we let him decide when we would leave, we would never get to go. He's just like his daddy already, and hates shopping. ;) He fell asleep in the car, but it didn't take long for him to wake up in Target.
Usually a hair cut and color only takes 1.5 hours at the most, unfortunately this trip ended up being 4 hours long. The hairdresser did a good job, but took her sweet time doing it. I texted Jamaal a couple times to check in on my boys, and he said that things were going fine. He said he took the bottle fine and all was good. I kind of got upset that Riley didn't miss me. How could my little man survive without me this well, when he seems to need me so much when I'm with him?!
The stylist ended up undercharging me for the haircut and color, which kind of made the whole experience worth it. I've lucked out the last two trips to this salon. (last time I went I ended up with a "free" foil and hair cut because the guy had a hard time getting the $30 gift card I had to work. He finally voided the transaction, which voided the part he had charged on my debit card, and sent me on my way. I was never charged the rest of the total which was about $60!)
When I got home, Riley was sleeping. "Has he been sleeping the whole time?" I asked.
No. He had been screaming the whole time. Other than the time when he had the bottle, which he took like a seasoned pro. We have two different definitions of "fine," I guess. Maybe he didn't want me worrying so he stretched the truth a little. I hope that is the case. My poor guy then proceeded to sleep. I tried waking him to nurse, and he did, but not for long. He didn't seem as interested. I think he was mad at me for abandoning him. On the plus side, he slept most of the night, waking to nurse for about 20 minutes at a time (when he does usually like to nurse a little longer at night) and going straight back to sleep. Monday morning I woke up so refreshed and exhilarated. I was able to do some laundry and feel like I accomplished something. It was wonderful.
Of course Monday night, was not the same. The night started out okay, but ended poorly: we were up from 0440 until 0800. My mom and I had planned on going to Tacoma so that I could spend some of the gift cards we received from Babies R Us. I had stipulated that we would only go if Riley slept some through the night, and since that didn't happen, the plans had to change. Instead, we went to Target to return a couple things (a sweater Jamaal didn't want and a bottle warmer I didn't want), and buy a few things (like baby diapers and paper towels.)
My mom took Riley while I was returning my items. I was wandering through the store and heard his cry. I could pick him out of a line up, something I wasn't quite sure I could do before today. ;) He was not a happy man. We had hoped that he would sleep through the trip, but he was in a "I'm starving" mode prior to leaving the house. We just decided that if we let him decide when we would leave, we would never get to go. He's just like his daddy already, and hates shopping. ;) He fell asleep in the car, but it didn't take long for him to wake up in Target.
I carried him around and eventually with the help of a pacifier, he fell asleep in my arms. He wasn't too rambunctious, and was just fussing instead of screaming/crying. And I got a lot of stares/comments about how cute and small he is. I guess I never realized how much attention babies (and therefore moms) get when in public. Speaking of pacifiers, Riley doesn't really care for the one I've been using. The shape is not the same as my nipples (really the shape is not like any nipple, not exactly sure who decided to make pacifiers at an angle...but anyway...) I was in search of one that is closer to the shape of a real woman's nipples. My mom and I found one, and somehow when we checked out, the pacifiers didn't make it into either of our bags (we also did not pay for them). Not exactly sure how it happened, but I was disappointed to say the least.
By the way, my haircut was quite drastic! I was tired of having hair in the way of nursing. This will be much easier to manage! I'm already wishing it was a bit shorter, but as it is I can barely fit it in a pony tail, which is a necessary thing for me. We'll see if I get it shorter next time.
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Appointments and Butterflies
Monday, April 26th
Today I scheduled an appointment at the St. Joseph's Women's Clinic to:
1. Verify my pregnancy.
2. Find out a little more about the Midwives working there
3. Hopefully choose one to work with during this pregnancy!
4. And if it can be arranged, go on a tour of the Family Birth Center.
I'm a little disappointed that the midwives don't deliver at St. Francis in Federal Way. I like the facility there, my sis-in-law had all 3 of her sons there so I've seen it up close already.
But, I really want a midwife.
Jamaal's grandma lives in Tacoma, so if for some reason I need to be really close to the hospital, I could stay there to be close by.
How I'm feeling:
I'm not nauseated, but I feel like I have butterflies in my stomach all the time. Food doesn't sound that good to me, I'll eat, but it just isn't satisfying. I'm so very nervous that I'll lose this pregnancy. We've told a few people, mostly because I just can't keep this secret. I feel like I want to scream it from a mountain top. ;)
But I'm so early, I don't feel comfortable sharing.
After thinking for several years now, that I'd have a difficult time getting pregnant, I'm in utter shock that it happened this quickly. So I just have this general feeling that something, like a miscarriage, will happen.
Since I wasn't planning getting pregnant this cycle, I'm certain it will be a boy. As long as he's healthy, that's fine with me. :D
Today I scheduled an appointment at the St. Joseph's Women's Clinic to:
1. Verify my pregnancy.
2. Find out a little more about the Midwives working there
3. Hopefully choose one to work with during this pregnancy!
4. And if it can be arranged, go on a tour of the Family Birth Center.
I'm a little disappointed that the midwives don't deliver at St. Francis in Federal Way. I like the facility there, my sis-in-law had all 3 of her sons there so I've seen it up close already.
But, I really want a midwife.
Jamaal's grandma lives in Tacoma, so if for some reason I need to be really close to the hospital, I could stay there to be close by.
How I'm feeling:
I'm not nauseated, but I feel like I have butterflies in my stomach all the time. Food doesn't sound that good to me, I'll eat, but it just isn't satisfying. I'm so very nervous that I'll lose this pregnancy. We've told a few people, mostly because I just can't keep this secret. I feel like I want to scream it from a mountain top. ;)
But I'm so early, I don't feel comfortable sharing.
After thinking for several years now, that I'd have a difficult time getting pregnant, I'm in utter shock that it happened this quickly. So I just have this general feeling that something, like a miscarriage, will happen.
Since I wasn't planning getting pregnant this cycle, I'm certain it will be a boy. As long as he's healthy, that's fine with me. :D
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Such a klutz
I just had a wonderful lunch. I had what I'm going to call a green and white salad, and some whole wheat Naan (from Trader Joe's) with roasted red pepper hummus. Mmmm...
The salad is super easy, and probably has been done before, I just named it because I realized it was pretty colorless. I put, romaine lettuce, about 1/2 of an avocado, sugar snap peas, feta cheese and some Parmesan ranch low fat dressing (from Trader Joe's).
It was scrumptious. Though I'm not a huge fan of feta cheese, at least in this salad. It was a bit too sour for my taste. So some of it was left on my plate at the end. But I'll be making it again.
Before I was able to enjoy my lunch, I was trying (and failing miserably) to open the ranch dressing I bought today from Trader Joe's. Well, it had that stupid plastic wrapped over the top of the bottle. I tried to twist it open, but the plastic was too tight. They didn't perforate the plastic to get it started for me, so after fighting with it for a while, I finally used a serrated knife to get the plastic to tear. Then I decided to shake the bottle to get it to mix...but remember how I had tried to twist it open before?? The lid fell off and ranch went all over the cupboards and floor, and some dripped into the utensil drawer.
ARGgggg!!
My girls attacked the ranch mess, and helped to clean up a bit. But I didn't want them to drink it all...and then get sick later. So I did a lot of wiping with paper towels.
Last night I spilt my ice water all over the counter top and stove, and it even had a lid on it. I don't know how I did it...
The salad is super easy, and probably has been done before, I just named it because I realized it was pretty colorless. I put, romaine lettuce, about 1/2 of an avocado, sugar snap peas, feta cheese and some Parmesan ranch low fat dressing (from Trader Joe's).
It was scrumptious. Though I'm not a huge fan of feta cheese, at least in this salad. It was a bit too sour for my taste. So some of it was left on my plate at the end. But I'll be making it again.
Before I was able to enjoy my lunch, I was trying (and failing miserably) to open the ranch dressing I bought today from Trader Joe's. Well, it had that stupid plastic wrapped over the top of the bottle. I tried to twist it open, but the plastic was too tight. They didn't perforate the plastic to get it started for me, so after fighting with it for a while, I finally used a serrated knife to get the plastic to tear. Then I decided to shake the bottle to get it to mix...but remember how I had tried to twist it open before?? The lid fell off and ranch went all over the cupboards and floor, and some dripped into the utensil drawer.
ARGgggg!!
My girls attacked the ranch mess, and helped to clean up a bit. But I didn't want them to drink it all...and then get sick later. So I did a lot of wiping with paper towels.
Last night I spilt my ice water all over the counter top and stove, and it even had a lid on it. I don't know how I did it...
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Unmotivated update
I've been having a difficult time finding motivation. I'm blaming it on night shift. It seems no matter how much I sleep, I still feel exhausted. I feel like there is a constant fog in my brain, and usually my solution is sleep or brainless Internet surfing.
Yesterday, I came home after working a 12-hour night shift, watched about 30 minutes of The Hangover, and went to bed. I meant to sleep until noon, since I was off last night, but ended up waking at 4pm. (I got about 6.5 hours of uninterrupted sleep) Then at midnight I went to bed and slept until 8:30 this morning. And yet I couldn't pull myself off of the couch or computer. Last week I was doing pretty good. I limited my time on the computer, I got up and started doing things before 10am, but I was motivated. I had a housewarming/birthday party to prepare for. I need to get some more unpacking done, and yet I always find myself saying "I'll do it tomorrow I have a couple more nights off." And then, when it has been a day I start to say "I have to go back to work soon, so I should just relax." It's pathetic really...
I was finally able to get out of the house at 3pm. And now I need to go make dinner for the hubby, as I have water aerobics tonight....so much for this post.
Tonight it is "French Onion Burgers" from The Campbell's Kitchen. I saw it on a commercial, and thought it looked good. We'll see...
Monday, July 13, 2009
A little less wise
Warning, some disturbing content below!!
Last Thursday, I went in and had my wisdom teeth pulled. Now, 4 days later, I'm still on the mend. While the pain is getting better, it still hurts pretty bad, bad enough that I'm pretty sure I should take a vicodin before I eat anything. Here it is noon, and I'm wondering if I should eat something to fight the hunger pains, or should I just go without for a bit longer...
If you had the night I had last night, you would be having the same internal dilemma. I barely slept, and was up nearly every hour on the hour with the worlds worst gas, etc. That is all the detail you need. Fortunately I did not throw up, that would have made everything even worse!
It was interesting to have surgery, one second I was awake, and the next they were waking me up. The MD said "I just gave you a little bit of fentanyl and versed, once you're comfortable I'll give the propofol." His assistant put something in my mouth to hold it open, and then they were waking me up. Telling me to straighten my legs; teaching me how to walk again. Haha. They sat me down while they went over instructions with my mom, and I started to shake pretty badly, which is a side effect of the anesthetic. I had a warm blanket on me, and I stopped shaking. But even this part now is so hazy, I barely remember getting into the van to leave.
My mom and I went to Top Foods to pick up my prescriptions, and I was ready to join her to go shopping for some food. My mom was having none of that, however, I suppose she didn't want to babysit. :D So instead I wrote out a shopping list for her: apple juice, sprite, popsicles, a loaf of bread, and deluxe macaroni and cheese.
Fortunately for me, I only had 3 wisdom teeth, and only one of them was on the bottom. So really the pain is mostly on one side of my mouth. I feel like the pain should be gone by now, so part of me is worried that I'm infected or something. But it looks good in there...so I'm probably just a big baby.
If you get easily grossed out, don't look below!!
I asked the surgeon to save my teeth!
They were able to pull them all out whole! Most of the time they have to break the bottoms, but I was an exception...
Last Thursday, I went in and had my wisdom teeth pulled. Now, 4 days later, I'm still on the mend. While the pain is getting better, it still hurts pretty bad, bad enough that I'm pretty sure I should take a vicodin before I eat anything. Here it is noon, and I'm wondering if I should eat something to fight the hunger pains, or should I just go without for a bit longer...
If you had the night I had last night, you would be having the same internal dilemma. I barely slept, and was up nearly every hour on the hour with the worlds worst gas, etc. That is all the detail you need. Fortunately I did not throw up, that would have made everything even worse!
It was interesting to have surgery, one second I was awake, and the next they were waking me up. The MD said "I just gave you a little bit of fentanyl and versed, once you're comfortable I'll give the propofol." His assistant put something in my mouth to hold it open, and then they were waking me up. Telling me to straighten my legs; teaching me how to walk again. Haha. They sat me down while they went over instructions with my mom, and I started to shake pretty badly, which is a side effect of the anesthetic. I had a warm blanket on me, and I stopped shaking. But even this part now is so hazy, I barely remember getting into the van to leave.
My mom and I went to Top Foods to pick up my prescriptions, and I was ready to join her to go shopping for some food. My mom was having none of that, however, I suppose she didn't want to babysit. :D So instead I wrote out a shopping list for her: apple juice, sprite, popsicles, a loaf of bread, and deluxe macaroni and cheese.
Fortunately for me, I only had 3 wisdom teeth, and only one of them was on the bottom. So really the pain is mostly on one side of my mouth. I feel like the pain should be gone by now, so part of me is worried that I'm infected or something. But it looks good in there...so I'm probably just a big baby.
If you get easily grossed out, don't look below!!
I asked the surgeon to save my teeth!
They were able to pull them all out whole! Most of the time they have to break the bottoms, but I was an exception...Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Lent
I was recently reminded of Lent by a good friend of mine. While I had not forgotten about it, I did not realize that it had started already. Last year was the first year since high school that I did not give something up for Lent.
This is interesting because I am not Catholic, nor do I associate myself with any other religion. The first time I gave up something for Lent, it was because a friend of mine Senior year of high school was doing it. I thought it was interesting, and decided to do it. It turned out that I went to a Jesuit Catholic University so I was around people again that followed Lent, and I liked it from the year before.
Last year I'm not sure why I didn't give something up for Lent. It could have been that I was not reminded of when it began, whatever the reason, I'm ready to resume my tradition.
Lent, for me, is a time to attempt to better and to challenge myself. I admit, I do not follow Lent for the same reasons as a practicing Catholic might. I understand the ritual, and respect the beliefs associated with Lent.
So this year I have decided to give up/limit the following:
1. Swearing: I have noticed that I swear more than I would like to. Jamaal is a bad influence here. I have decided that "heck" is okay. But pretty much everything else is off limits including h-e-double hockey sticks.
2. Soda: I am allowing myself only 1 can per week. I think this one is going to actually be very difficult. Flavored, carbonated waters do not count. And no ordering of soda at restaurants.
Starting tomorrow....
This is interesting because I am not Catholic, nor do I associate myself with any other religion. The first time I gave up something for Lent, it was because a friend of mine Senior year of high school was doing it. I thought it was interesting, and decided to do it. It turned out that I went to a Jesuit Catholic University so I was around people again that followed Lent, and I liked it from the year before.
Last year I'm not sure why I didn't give something up for Lent. It could have been that I was not reminded of when it began, whatever the reason, I'm ready to resume my tradition.
Lent, for me, is a time to attempt to better and to challenge myself. I admit, I do not follow Lent for the same reasons as a practicing Catholic might. I understand the ritual, and respect the beliefs associated with Lent.
So this year I have decided to give up/limit the following:
1. Swearing: I have noticed that I swear more than I would like to. Jamaal is a bad influence here. I have decided that "heck" is okay. But pretty much everything else is off limits including h-e-double hockey sticks.
2. Soda: I am allowing myself only 1 can per week. I think this one is going to actually be very difficult. Flavored, carbonated waters do not count. And no ordering of soda at restaurants.
Starting tomorrow....
Thursday, January 29, 2009
30 Random Things
For my pregnant lady friend: (I won't soon be able to say that...)
(Update: This is actually kind of fun....I started with 25, and have since added to it...we'll see how many I end up with.)
1. Even though I have never given birth, I feel like a mother to my two dogs. I miss them a lot when I leave them with my parents for a trip. I call to check in on them just like a mom would. When I'm home alone with them, and even if I'm not alone, I talk to them, probably more than I realize.
2. I love Grande, Nonfat, Extra hot, light foam, Caramel Macchiatos from Starbucks.
3. I have a radio in my head. I will hum or sing a song, and then move on to another. Often I don't know where the song came from, it just comes to me.
4. I love an ice cold glass of water. Water tastes so much better cold, to me.
5. I prefer Coke Zero to Diet Coke, and really don't like Diet Pepsi.
6. Popcorn is probably the best snack food in the world.
7. I believed in Santa until I was about 13 years old. My mom (and dad) were that good. Santa has a different handwriting, and different wrapping paper, and he always surprised me on Christmas. Even though my friends didn't believe in him, I just said "You guys just don't know...obviously you were bad this year..."
8. I have never finished a scrapbook for myself. I have 3 started, but none finished. I have done a couple for others though.
9. I love playing video games, especially RPG (Role playing games). If you don't know what that means, it is a game where you get to choose the characters responses, and often you get to name them etc. Final Fantasy is an example of an RPG. And yes, I realize how nerdy this makes me.
10. I missed math classes in college. IF I had room in my schedule, I would have minored in Math, and/or taken a few classes for fun.
11. I can handle looking at blood, pee, poop and most vomit. But cough up a loogie in front of me, and I gag. I do not handle snot or respiratory secretions well. I could never be a respiratory therapist/respiratory RN/or an ICU RN because of this.
12. I get incredibly grumpy if I do not eat regularly, or if I don't get enough sleep. (It's best to not talk to me if I'm both tired and hungry).
13. My torso is disproportionate to my legs. My torso is incredibly short, and I have pretty long legs. Makes me nervous for the 8 and 9th months of pregnancy, where will that baby go?? Either all the way out, or down into my pelvis, crushing my bladder...or perhaps both?
14. I have very detailed, strange, and realistic feeling dreams. Often I wake up and think part of my dream was real...in one dream, Jamaal had either cheated on me, and/or done something that was not quite loyal to me. I knew that it was a dream, but it felt so real I had to ask him to make sure. (It doesn't make him happy when I do that, because he doesn't like getting in trouble for things I've made "him" do in my dreams...)
15. My mom was going to name me Shannon Aubri, but since I was a "surprise" (they wanted to have me 2 years after my brother, but I ended up coming 7.5 years later...) by the time she had me, she no longer liked the name Shannon, so I ended up with Aubri Elizabeth. Elizabeth is my great grandma's middle name. I think Shannon Aubri sounds funny...
16. I think it is silly to name a child something like Christopher, while having the intention to call him Chris. If you want to call your child Chris, I think you should name them Chris. Sometimes nicknames arise later on, and that doesn't bother me. But if your name is Christopher, that is what you should be addressed as...
17. I have a hard time pronouncing "Jeremy" it always comes out as "Germy."
18. I am incredibly ticklish. I can barely stand to have a pedicure, because it tickles so much. There are very few places that I am not ticklish...
19. I rarely sneeze once at a time. And yes, I sound like a small dog when I sneeze several times in a row.
20. I was 19 years old when I had my first kiss. It was not my favorite moment in time. My first kiss with Jamaal, about 7 months later, was much better. :)
21. I'm not a big "hug" person. I hug family, and close friends, but feel awkward hugging most anyone else. I don't like others to touch me either, really. So I refuse to get massages for this reason. It's okay if it is someone close to me, but strangers, acquaintances, and/or people I don't know that well, I'd rather they not touch me.
22. I often think something, and realize a little later that it was a stupid thought, but still say it anyway. For example, Lamar (Jamaal's brother) parked his car in the Bellagio parking lot in Vegas, which was close by where the rest of us had walked to. I thought "How will we get Lamar's car now, will we walk back here later to pick it up?" When really he parked there, and we would all pile in, and get driven back to our hotel down the strip....I realized this was the case but still said "I see why Lamar parked here! We can drive back to our hotel!" Everyone looked at me like I was ridiculous...I should have kept it to myself...
23. Thunderstorms freak me out. I do not like them at all...if I wake up it is very difficult for me to fall back asleep again because I think about all the terrible things that could happen, like a tree falling on my house, or a fire being started etc.
24. In elementary the firefighters used to come in every year to tell us about fire safety. They often had a little "house" set up to have us practice escaping if our house caught on fire. For 1 week after they came, I would have nightmares that my house caught on fire, and would wake up freaked out. I would think that every noise I heard was a fire starting, and/or someone in my house. I would lay there wide awake for what felt like hours, until I finally had the courage to tip toe into my parents room and squeeze into their bed with them. Once in bed with them I would shiver...and my mom would say "Aubri, stop that shivering!" but I couldn't help it....
25. I am a side sleeper, and usually drool or sleep with my mouth wide open. I am a very deep sleeper and it takes a lot for me to wake up. Jamaal often finds himself near the edge of the bed because he isn't as aggressive as I am, and lets me push him around. ;)
26. I hate shaving my legs. It takes way too long. However, I love having nice smooth legs. But since it is cold, nearly all the time, pretty much immediately after I shave I get goosebumps, which makes my hairs grow, and I'm back where I started. It is so frustrating!
27. I dislike cleaning, but I also hate messes. I feel like I can't think straight when I have a cluttered work space. But I hate actually doing the cleaning. It is so futile.
28. I am not a very strong swimmer.
29. I always take a half a stick of gum, a full stick is too much. Jamaal is irritated by this, he hates having a half a stick left over, floating around in the pack. Sometimes I will take two half sticks and chew one on each side of my mouth and see how long I can go without mixing the two. :D
30. I love baking. I also love cooking. I love creating food, and getting to see people's reactions to my products. I have made up many more recipes than is actually on my food blog...most of them are just kind of "okay" so I don't feel up to sharing them, and a couple of them I just forgot to share, and now I don't know if I have the recipe anymore.
(Update: This is actually kind of fun....I started with 25, and have since added to it...we'll see how many I end up with.)
1. Even though I have never given birth, I feel like a mother to my two dogs. I miss them a lot when I leave them with my parents for a trip. I call to check in on them just like a mom would. When I'm home alone with them, and even if I'm not alone, I talk to them, probably more than I realize.
2. I love Grande, Nonfat, Extra hot, light foam, Caramel Macchiatos from Starbucks.
3. I have a radio in my head. I will hum or sing a song, and then move on to another. Often I don't know where the song came from, it just comes to me.
4. I love an ice cold glass of water. Water tastes so much better cold, to me.
5. I prefer Coke Zero to Diet Coke, and really don't like Diet Pepsi.
6. Popcorn is probably the best snack food in the world.
7. I believed in Santa until I was about 13 years old. My mom (and dad) were that good. Santa has a different handwriting, and different wrapping paper, and he always surprised me on Christmas. Even though my friends didn't believe in him, I just said "You guys just don't know...obviously you were bad this year..."
8. I have never finished a scrapbook for myself. I have 3 started, but none finished. I have done a couple for others though.
9. I love playing video games, especially RPG (Role playing games). If you don't know what that means, it is a game where you get to choose the characters responses, and often you get to name them etc. Final Fantasy is an example of an RPG. And yes, I realize how nerdy this makes me.
10. I missed math classes in college. IF I had room in my schedule, I would have minored in Math, and/or taken a few classes for fun.
11. I can handle looking at blood, pee, poop and most vomit. But cough up a loogie in front of me, and I gag. I do not handle snot or respiratory secretions well. I could never be a respiratory therapist/respiratory RN/or an ICU RN because of this.
12. I get incredibly grumpy if I do not eat regularly, or if I don't get enough sleep. (It's best to not talk to me if I'm both tired and hungry).
13. My torso is disproportionate to my legs. My torso is incredibly short, and I have pretty long legs. Makes me nervous for the 8 and 9th months of pregnancy, where will that baby go?? Either all the way out, or down into my pelvis, crushing my bladder...or perhaps both?
14. I have very detailed, strange, and realistic feeling dreams. Often I wake up and think part of my dream was real...in one dream, Jamaal had either cheated on me, and/or done something that was not quite loyal to me. I knew that it was a dream, but it felt so real I had to ask him to make sure. (It doesn't make him happy when I do that, because he doesn't like getting in trouble for things I've made "him" do in my dreams...)
15. My mom was going to name me Shannon Aubri, but since I was a "surprise" (they wanted to have me 2 years after my brother, but I ended up coming 7.5 years later...) by the time she had me, she no longer liked the name Shannon, so I ended up with Aubri Elizabeth. Elizabeth is my great grandma's middle name. I think Shannon Aubri sounds funny...
16. I think it is silly to name a child something like Christopher, while having the intention to call him Chris. If you want to call your child Chris, I think you should name them Chris. Sometimes nicknames arise later on, and that doesn't bother me. But if your name is Christopher, that is what you should be addressed as...
17. I have a hard time pronouncing "Jeremy" it always comes out as "Germy."
18. I am incredibly ticklish. I can barely stand to have a pedicure, because it tickles so much. There are very few places that I am not ticklish...
19. I rarely sneeze once at a time. And yes, I sound like a small dog when I sneeze several times in a row.
20. I was 19 years old when I had my first kiss. It was not my favorite moment in time. My first kiss with Jamaal, about 7 months later, was much better. :)
21. I'm not a big "hug" person. I hug family, and close friends, but feel awkward hugging most anyone else. I don't like others to touch me either, really. So I refuse to get massages for this reason. It's okay if it is someone close to me, but strangers, acquaintances, and/or people I don't know that well, I'd rather they not touch me.
22. I often think something, and realize a little later that it was a stupid thought, but still say it anyway. For example, Lamar (Jamaal's brother) parked his car in the Bellagio parking lot in Vegas, which was close by where the rest of us had walked to. I thought "How will we get Lamar's car now, will we walk back here later to pick it up?" When really he parked there, and we would all pile in, and get driven back to our hotel down the strip....I realized this was the case but still said "I see why Lamar parked here! We can drive back to our hotel!" Everyone looked at me like I was ridiculous...I should have kept it to myself...
23. Thunderstorms freak me out. I do not like them at all...if I wake up it is very difficult for me to fall back asleep again because I think about all the terrible things that could happen, like a tree falling on my house, or a fire being started etc.
24. In elementary the firefighters used to come in every year to tell us about fire safety. They often had a little "house" set up to have us practice escaping if our house caught on fire. For 1 week after they came, I would have nightmares that my house caught on fire, and would wake up freaked out. I would think that every noise I heard was a fire starting, and/or someone in my house. I would lay there wide awake for what felt like hours, until I finally had the courage to tip toe into my parents room and squeeze into their bed with them. Once in bed with them I would shiver...and my mom would say "Aubri, stop that shivering!" but I couldn't help it....
25. I am a side sleeper, and usually drool or sleep with my mouth wide open. I am a very deep sleeper and it takes a lot for me to wake up. Jamaal often finds himself near the edge of the bed because he isn't as aggressive as I am, and lets me push him around. ;)
26. I hate shaving my legs. It takes way too long. However, I love having nice smooth legs. But since it is cold, nearly all the time, pretty much immediately after I shave I get goosebumps, which makes my hairs grow, and I'm back where I started. It is so frustrating!
27. I dislike cleaning, but I also hate messes. I feel like I can't think straight when I have a cluttered work space. But I hate actually doing the cleaning. It is so futile.
28. I am not a very strong swimmer.
29. I always take a half a stick of gum, a full stick is too much. Jamaal is irritated by this, he hates having a half a stick left over, floating around in the pack. Sometimes I will take two half sticks and chew one on each side of my mouth and see how long I can go without mixing the two. :D
30. I love baking. I also love cooking. I love creating food, and getting to see people's reactions to my products. I have made up many more recipes than is actually on my food blog...most of them are just kind of "okay" so I don't feel up to sharing them, and a couple of them I just forgot to share, and now I don't know if I have the recipe anymore.
Friday, December 19, 2008
I'm baaaaack....
Well last you heard from me I was sick...and I was going to finish the story of my Thanksgiving day. I was sick for 2.5 weeks. I had fevers off an on for a week and a half. It was so concerning to me that I actually went to the doctor for it. I wanted to make sure I didn't have an ear infection or anything that required antibiotics. She told me that I had a cold, and if it didn't start to go away in a few days that I should fill a prescription for an antibiotic. (I probably should have gotten that antibiotic, because a few days turned into a week) But my immune system is now stronger for all that work! :D This week was the first week that I actually felt better. I could breathe through my nose again (at times) and I didn't have too terrible of a cough. I was coughing up greenish yellow junk, but now it is mostly just gelantinized clear phlegm. I hope no one was eating, or thinking about eating while reading this. (unless you are a nurse, in that case you don't care!) Many people at work are now sick. I ended up calling in ill once and calling off my last 4 hours of a 12 hour shift one day. Being sick ate up my benefit time! :D I want that time for important things like a honeymoon and maternity leave, and heaven forbid a possible surgery.
So I'm hoping that now, I've gotten this whole being sick thing out of my system, and it won't happen again for me in like a year or more! :D
On to my Thanksgiving adventures. Once we were all finished with dinner at my parents house, I got out a few costumes I had purchased at Target for $2.50 each....
Bella, as Mrs. Claws and Shadow as a very sensitive reindeer. (You'll see what I mean in a few pictures)
Shadow and Bacardi, the Christmas Elf.
Bacardi the Christmas Elf. She was the best poser there. She is usually all over the place but once the costume was on she calmed right down.
Here she looks very hoity toity. Like, "I am too good for the likes of you". Either that or she is glaring at some one...."take this ugly thing off of me!"
Bella jumping for joy! "I am so excited for Christmas Mom!"
Shadow is fine as a reindeer, as long has her hood isn't on...
Once the hood goes on, she pouts. "you are laughing at me not with me!" She literally will lay down and stay there until someone feels bad enough to take the hood off of her. She can't see so she just gives up..."nobody likes me everybody hates me, guess I'll go eat worms..."
Bacardi is looking up at my mom...."please help Shadow with her hood..."
Bella checking Shadow out. It was really funny...once all of the costumes were on. The dogs had to sniff each others butts to make sure they weren't eaten by an elf, deer or lady...They did much better with the costumes on than I was expecting. It was very entertaining....
Sunday, November 30, 2008
I never get sick
Never! But for some reason this week I decided to catch a cold...On Wednesday before Thanksgiving, I was fine all day at work until 5pm exactly, when, I started sneezing like crazy. (Now I do sneeze crazily all the time, I sound like a poodle, or a small dog barking.) But this was different. I could not stop, and when I did I only had like a 5 minute break in between bunches of sneezes. My throat felt itchy, and my nose was running. I thought that it was an allergic reaction, but on thanksgiving morning I felt just as bad. I thought that I should call in sick, but I thought that if I did the unit would be short staffed, and it is hard to get people to come in on a holiday. So I was going to truck on through. Sick or not. At 0620, as I was saying to myself "Aubri, you need to get going." My cell phone rang. I've said this before but when my phone rings that early, I know it is work calling to say stay home! I was so thankful! I was not fit to be working, because not only was I sick, but I was also sore from working out. And when you have a cold, aches and pains seem so much worse.
I was also thankful, because this meant that I would be able to see Jamaal's family as well for Thanksgiving. Since I was going to be working we decided that he would meet me at my parent's house after he had already been to his grandma's house in Tacoma. I was not looking forward to driving all by myself from work, to my house to change, and then on to my parents house, and then driving home again.
As it was, I was able to go with Jamaal and his brother to my parent's house first to drop off the girls (I did not want the girls to be left alone all day on Thanksgiving!) then, we went to Jamaal's parent's house to drop off his brother's luggage (Jamaal picked him up from the airport at midnight the night before) and meet up with their parents. And off we went to grandma's house. Jamaal's mom has 8 brothers and sisters, and most of them were there at one point in time, I think one brother did not come. You can imagine that he has a ton of family, many many cousins, and I still have a hard time keeping them straight. (even after 3 years!) I know the ones I see the most. Anyway it was a good time. Jamaal's dad made the turkeys and they were fabulous! So juicy and he seasoned it well.
Off we went to my parents house after a few hours at grandma's. My mom was mad at me for not calling her when I found out I wasn't working. (It was 0620 and I thought that I didn't want to wake them up) Besides I sent an email to my dad telling him the story because he usually gets up at like 0600 even on days when he does not work. Well she did not get the memo...and she was upset with me...even though I told her that even though I was not working I would probably get to her house around the same time as if I had worked since we went to Grandma's...
Anyway she got over it quickly, and we had a good meal there with my parents and my aunt. (I say "we" but I was the only one who ate. I just had turkey and a roll at Grandma's house, because I told my parents I would eat with them. Jamaal ate at Grandma's.)
By the time I got to my parent's house, I was really beginning to notice my cold. And my arms and shoulders were so sore I was beginning to be miserable!
I will show some pictures later, but all in all, it was a good night. I had the worst time trying to fall asleep, but the benedryl I took helped a lot. The rest of the story will come, I just keep walking away from this post, and now it is time for bed...
I was also thankful, because this meant that I would be able to see Jamaal's family as well for Thanksgiving. Since I was going to be working we decided that he would meet me at my parent's house after he had already been to his grandma's house in Tacoma. I was not looking forward to driving all by myself from work, to my house to change, and then on to my parents house, and then driving home again.
As it was, I was able to go with Jamaal and his brother to my parent's house first to drop off the girls (I did not want the girls to be left alone all day on Thanksgiving!) then, we went to Jamaal's parent's house to drop off his brother's luggage (Jamaal picked him up from the airport at midnight the night before) and meet up with their parents. And off we went to grandma's house. Jamaal's mom has 8 brothers and sisters, and most of them were there at one point in time, I think one brother did not come. You can imagine that he has a ton of family, many many cousins, and I still have a hard time keeping them straight. (even after 3 years!) I know the ones I see the most. Anyway it was a good time. Jamaal's dad made the turkeys and they were fabulous! So juicy and he seasoned it well.
Off we went to my parents house after a few hours at grandma's. My mom was mad at me for not calling her when I found out I wasn't working. (It was 0620 and I thought that I didn't want to wake them up) Besides I sent an email to my dad telling him the story because he usually gets up at like 0600 even on days when he does not work. Well she did not get the memo...and she was upset with me...even though I told her that even though I was not working I would probably get to her house around the same time as if I had worked since we went to Grandma's...
Anyway she got over it quickly, and we had a good meal there with my parents and my aunt. (I say "we" but I was the only one who ate. I just had turkey and a roll at Grandma's house, because I told my parents I would eat with them. Jamaal ate at Grandma's.)
By the time I got to my parent's house, I was really beginning to notice my cold. And my arms and shoulders were so sore I was beginning to be miserable!
I will show some pictures later, but all in all, it was a good night. I had the worst time trying to fall asleep, but the benedryl I took helped a lot. The rest of the story will come, I just keep walking away from this post, and now it is time for bed...
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Have you heard this song?
"Laughed Until we Cried" by Jason Aldean
Goin’ through my closet the other day
I found an old yearbook
Flipped right to the page of that senior trip
Down there on that Panama strip
We all started yellin’ when we smelled the beach
Couldn't wait to try our fake I.D.’s
We only had a few days
And a whole lot of memories to make
Oh man we were livin’
Didn't waste one minute
We talked and drank and danced and said goodbye
We laughed until we cried
This past year my family
Was sittin’ cross-legged 'round the Christmas tree
Listenin’ to granddad
We all knew it probably be his last
He was crackin’ jokes and we were takin’ turns
Tellin’ stories ‘bout fishin’ or lessons learned
Out on the porch with him
We all felt like kids again
Oh man we were livin
Sittin' there reminiscin'
We sang and talked and traveled back in time
We laughed until we cried
It's like the best days under the sun
Every emotion rolled into one
A little of this a little of that
Kinda happy kinda sad
Just the other night the baby was cryin’
So I got out of bed rocked her awhile
And I held her tight
And I told her it would be all right
And my mind went back to a few years ago
When we tried so long
We almost gave up hope
And I remember you
Comin' in and tellin’ me the news
Oh man we were livin’
Goin’ crazy in the kitchen
We danced and screamed and held each other tight
We laughed until we cried
_________________
The other day I kind of started to freak out. But first some background:
In high school, my periods were infrequent. I would go about 2-3 months without having a period. And then I would have a period that would last about a week or so. At first I liked having a 2-3 month window. But then it started to bother me. I would never know when my period would start...and it always seemed that it would start when I wasn't expecting it to.
So I went and saw my doctor (I believe I was in college at the time probably sophomore year) and he ran some tests. He thought that I had polycystic ovary disease but they only symptom I had was infrequent periods. I didn't have severe acne, or facial hair. So he drew some labs and noticed that my hormones were opposite from where they should be. (At the time I didn't know anything about hormones, so I don't know what hormones he was talking about, nor do I know the results.)
But my doctor did say: "you might have a hard time getting pregnant" and "we will face that when you are trying to get pregnant."
He prescribed birth control pills to help make my periods regular, predictable, and shorter.
Now, I am realizing that I'm starting to get old. I will be 30 in no time at all. And I don't know if I'm going to be able to get pregnant on my own.
A friend of mine from nursing school posted a post on myspace the other day: she's pregnant again. She got married shortly after graduating from nursing school, and even though they didn't purposefully try to get pregnant, they did. Then, with her baby 5 months old, while using both BCP and condoms, they got pregnant again!
I am happy for her, (she is still getting used to the idea of being pregnant again) but so jealous that it came so easy for her. (And I do not want to be pregnant with a 5 month old ideally my kids will turn 2 years old before a new addition) But like I said she didn't mean to become pregnant that quickly...it just happened.
I am not actively trying right now. I don't have enough leave for work yet. I don't think we could afford none of my paychecks coming in. I would like to be living in a new house and married before we start trying, but Jamaal isn't sure that we will be able to afford to move yet. So he wants to stay where we are for another year....and so we are throwing money away waiting...we are throwing precious time away waiting...
and I leave you with some more lyrics:
"You're Gonna Miss This" by Trace Adkins
She was staring out the window
Of their SUV
Complaining, saying,
I cant wait to turn 18
She said, "I'll make my own money"
And I'll make my own rules"
Mama put the car in park
Out there in front of the school
And she kissed her head
And said 'I was just like you"
You're going to miss this
You're going to want this back
You're going to wish these days
Hadn't gone by so fast
These are some good times
So take a good look around
You may not know it now
But you're going to miss this
Before she knows it
She's a brand new bride
In her one bedroom apartment
And her daddy stops by
He tells her "It's a nice place"
She says "It'll do for now"
Starts talking about babies
And buying a house
Daddy shakes his head
And says "Baby just slow down"
Cause
You're going to miss this
You're going to want this back
You're going to wish these days
Hadn't gone by so fast
These are some good times
So take a good look around
You may not know it now
But you're going to miss this
Five years later
There's a plumber
Working on the water heater
Dogs barking, phones ringing
One kids crying, one kids screaming
She keeps apologizing
He says "They don't bother me.
I've got two babies of my own.
One's 36, one's 23.
It's hard to believe..."
But
You're going to miss this
You're going to want this back
You're going to wish these days
Hadn't gone by so fast
These are some good times
So take a good look around
You may not know it now
But you're going to miss this
You're going to miss this
Yeah you're going to miss this
______________
It's too bad Jamaal doesn't like country music...because it is the soundtrack of my life...
Goin’ through my closet the other day
I found an old yearbook
Flipped right to the page of that senior trip
Down there on that Panama strip
We all started yellin’ when we smelled the beach
Couldn't wait to try our fake I.D.’s
We only had a few days
And a whole lot of memories to make
Oh man we were livin’
Didn't waste one minute
We talked and drank and danced and said goodbye
We laughed until we cried
This past year my family
Was sittin’ cross-legged 'round the Christmas tree
Listenin’ to granddad
We all knew it probably be his last
He was crackin’ jokes and we were takin’ turns
Tellin’ stories ‘bout fishin’ or lessons learned
Out on the porch with him
We all felt like kids again
Oh man we were livin
Sittin' there reminiscin'
We sang and talked and traveled back in time
We laughed until we cried
It's like the best days under the sun
Every emotion rolled into one
A little of this a little of that
Kinda happy kinda sad
Just the other night the baby was cryin’
So I got out of bed rocked her awhile
And I held her tight
And I told her it would be all right
And my mind went back to a few years ago
When we tried so long
We almost gave up hope
And I remember you
Comin' in and tellin’ me the news
Oh man we were livin’
Goin’ crazy in the kitchen
We danced and screamed and held each other tight
We laughed until we cried
_________________
The other day I kind of started to freak out. But first some background:
In high school, my periods were infrequent. I would go about 2-3 months without having a period. And then I would have a period that would last about a week or so. At first I liked having a 2-3 month window. But then it started to bother me. I would never know when my period would start...and it always seemed that it would start when I wasn't expecting it to.
So I went and saw my doctor (I believe I was in college at the time probably sophomore year) and he ran some tests. He thought that I had polycystic ovary disease but they only symptom I had was infrequent periods. I didn't have severe acne, or facial hair. So he drew some labs and noticed that my hormones were opposite from where they should be. (At the time I didn't know anything about hormones, so I don't know what hormones he was talking about, nor do I know the results.)
But my doctor did say: "you might have a hard time getting pregnant" and "we will face that when you are trying to get pregnant."
He prescribed birth control pills to help make my periods regular, predictable, and shorter.
Now, I am realizing that I'm starting to get old. I will be 30 in no time at all. And I don't know if I'm going to be able to get pregnant on my own.
A friend of mine from nursing school posted a post on myspace the other day: she's pregnant again. She got married shortly after graduating from nursing school, and even though they didn't purposefully try to get pregnant, they did. Then, with her baby 5 months old, while using both BCP and condoms, they got pregnant again!
I am happy for her, (she is still getting used to the idea of being pregnant again) but so jealous that it came so easy for her. (And I do not want to be pregnant with a 5 month old ideally my kids will turn 2 years old before a new addition) But like I said she didn't mean to become pregnant that quickly...it just happened.
I am not actively trying right now. I don't have enough leave for work yet. I don't think we could afford none of my paychecks coming in. I would like to be living in a new house and married before we start trying, but Jamaal isn't sure that we will be able to afford to move yet. So he wants to stay where we are for another year....and so we are throwing money away waiting...we are throwing precious time away waiting...
and I leave you with some more lyrics:
"You're Gonna Miss This" by Trace Adkins
She was staring out the window
Of their SUV
Complaining, saying,
I cant wait to turn 18
She said, "I'll make my own money"
And I'll make my own rules"
Mama put the car in park
Out there in front of the school
And she kissed her head
And said 'I was just like you"
You're going to miss this
You're going to want this back
You're going to wish these days
Hadn't gone by so fast
These are some good times
So take a good look around
You may not know it now
But you're going to miss this
Before she knows it
She's a brand new bride
In her one bedroom apartment
And her daddy stops by
He tells her "It's a nice place"
She says "It'll do for now"
Starts talking about babies
And buying a house
Daddy shakes his head
And says "Baby just slow down"
Cause
You're going to miss this
You're going to want this back
You're going to wish these days
Hadn't gone by so fast
These are some good times
So take a good look around
You may not know it now
But you're going to miss this
Five years later
There's a plumber
Working on the water heater
Dogs barking, phones ringing
One kids crying, one kids screaming
She keeps apologizing
He says "They don't bother me.
I've got two babies of my own.
One's 36, one's 23.
It's hard to believe..."
But
You're going to miss this
You're going to want this back
You're going to wish these days
Hadn't gone by so fast
These are some good times
So take a good look around
You may not know it now
But you're going to miss this
You're going to miss this
Yeah you're going to miss this
______________
It's too bad Jamaal doesn't like country music...because it is the soundtrack of my life...
Monday, October 20, 2008
Goals, goals, goals...
So lately I've been feeling pretty crummy. I haven't gained weight, but I feel like I have. And I've realized that I feel so terrible, because I haven't been to the gym in nearly 2 months!!
Night shift screwed me all up. I was doing really well, but then I started to just get tired, and I was able to find an excuse to not go.
Today, I went to the gym and upgraded so that I can go to multiple clubs. I have been travelling to Renton, because at the time, it was the closest club. They opened a club in Tukwila, about a 5 minute drive from my house, probably 10 minute walk, in June, but I really liked my personal trainer so I stayed at Renton. Now, I still like my personal trainer (even though he didnt call me to make me go train) but will only have to go to the Renton club on the days I train, or when I'm in the area.
So here are a few of my goals, I need someone to hold me accountable. (although already I feel much better and I just worked out today...)
Night shift screwed me all up. I was doing really well, but then I started to just get tired, and I was able to find an excuse to not go.
Today, I went to the gym and upgraded so that I can go to multiple clubs. I have been travelling to Renton, because at the time, it was the closest club. They opened a club in Tukwila, about a 5 minute drive from my house, probably 10 minute walk, in June, but I really liked my personal trainer so I stayed at Renton. Now, I still like my personal trainer (even though he didnt call me to make me go train) but will only have to go to the Renton club on the days I train, or when I'm in the area.
So here are a few of my goals, I need someone to hold me accountable. (although already I feel much better and I just worked out today...)
- Drink more water. I need to get a water bottle so I can keep track of how much I'm drinking. But I want to drink at least 2 liters every day.
- Work out 3 days per week. Right now that is realistic for me. When I work 12 hour days, I don't have much more energy to make myself go to the gym too. However, I am going to attempt to go to the gym before work this Wednesday, since my gym is closer I might be able to workout, shower, and leave the gym by 6:15? It opens at 5. I might be able to do it. perhaps I'll only rinse off, and leave my hair and makeup on? We'll see.
- Snack less at work. I find myself hoping that there will be some kind of cookie or snack left for us in the report room. It is terrible, and instead of eating the apple I brought I reach for the brownie. Last week I started this one...I did better than normal, but still need work.
Well that's all folks! Let me know what healthy things you are currently trying to do...successes and "works in progress" (I wouldn't say failures...) are both welcome!
Monday, October 13, 2008
Two sleeping ladies...
Well as I previously stated, my sleep cycle is all kinds of messed up. I have been ready to go to sleep at like 9pm or in this case, 8pm. Here I am, with Bella on the couch. I had made dinner for Jamaal and I (Monte Cristos, check out the recipe here!) and started watching something, then fell asleep.
Jamaal took this picture, without me even knowing it. (There was a flash). I didnt know that Bella had joined me on the couch, and I woke up to hearing the shower going. I was ridiculously exhausted. But I really think it's an adorable picture... I love my Bellers.
Jamaal took this picture, without me even knowing it. (There was a flash). I didnt know that Bella had joined me on the couch, and I woke up to hearing the shower going. I was ridiculously exhausted. But I really think it's an adorable picture... I love my Bellers.
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Radio, and Aubrism #2
I was listening to the radio this morning on my way home from work, I believe it was 104.9 a local country station. The hosts were asking random questions to callers, I think for fun. Questions like "Is your second toe longer than your big toe?" The questions were all rather simple. Mostly one word answers.
Well they asked "What kind of stereotype would you describe yourself as?" and the caller said something that no one quite understood. After she repeated it a couple times, the host realized she said "Sony."
Stereotype. Type of stereo. Same thing right? haha! The caller sounded young. And when the hosts laughed, she hung up. I laughed too...it was pretty funny.
It reminded me of a time when I was young. Star 101.5 was asking callers to call in with the "coolest car." Well I thought it was a contest. And I had a brilliant thought, told my mom and said I wanted to call in. So I did.
My "coolest car" idea, was an icecream truck. They didn't know what to say. And I was sad that I didn't win anything....so a part of me felt for this person who responded "sony."
The radio in the morning keeps me entertained!! :D
Well they asked "What kind of stereotype would you describe yourself as?" and the caller said something that no one quite understood. After she repeated it a couple times, the host realized she said "Sony."
Stereotype. Type of stereo. Same thing right? haha! The caller sounded young. And when the hosts laughed, she hung up. I laughed too...it was pretty funny.
It reminded me of a time when I was young. Star 101.5 was asking callers to call in with the "coolest car." Well I thought it was a contest. And I had a brilliant thought, told my mom and said I wanted to call in. So I did.
My "coolest car" idea, was an icecream truck. They didn't know what to say. And I was sad that I didn't win anything....so a part of me felt for this person who responded "sony."
The radio in the morning keeps me entertained!! :D
Monday, September 29, 2008
Aubri-ism #1
My mom told me today (I had heard this story before) that I was full of wisdom when I was little. For example, one day I said to my mom:
"If we get in a car accident and our heads get cut off we will go to Dr. Alleman and he will change our minds."
Apparently I knew the secret to head transplants at such a young age, and Dr. Alleman was the man for the job! ;)
"If we get in a car accident and our heads get cut off we will go to Dr. Alleman and he will change our minds."
Apparently I knew the secret to head transplants at such a young age, and Dr. Alleman was the man for the job! ;)
Monday, September 22, 2008
Hair of a different color...
I decided today that it was time to finally go back to the salon...(last visit was 7/7) Ridiculous, I don't know how I was putting up with my bangs for that long! I have been using my clips a little bit more often.
Well I don't think you can tell really the color in this picture....oh well!
Last time I dyed my hair a really dark red, but chose a color that was wash out. Well, it did wash out, so my hair looked more brown than red, and more orange than red. But more brown than orange...(if that makes sense at all!) I had about an inch and a half of grow out, which was really embarrassing...so I finally decided to do it. I called my local Regis, and they had an opening right away, so off I went!
I wasn't sure what I wanted, but I didn't quite want red again, it was too hard to maintain. So now I'm like a really dark brown, with a touch of red highlights. (mostly because the red underneath shows through, but also because there was a touch of red in the color.) 
Well I don't think you can tell really the color in this picture....oh well!
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